verb ~ become aware or conscious of something

CHARLIE

Despite the cruel cold of rain, my mate was warming from the inside out. By the time we reached the hospital, her once grey, pale skin was normal. I burst through the doors without thought and ran down the halls in search of Kate's scent.

She had been a few places, but my nose immediately singled her out amongst the stench of a theatre. I knew could enter the room itself and that they would force me to stand and wait, but it didn't make Kate's warning through the other side of the door any easier. Still agitated, I growled when she told me I couldn't enter. So, with a harsh reluctance, I warned the nurse-help that took my mate from my arms before they carried her inside. Kate watched me from the other side of the door, her eyes wrinkled with sympathy in her scrubs. She nodded once before turning and entering the main room.

And there were two.

I could not see Calida from this angle, an extra pair of doors inside blocking my view. As time ticked by, I must've paced a hundred steps a minute. Sean stood silently against the wall, his hands grasped in front of him. His eyes were hard, jaw tense as he stared straight ahead. I appreciated him being here with me, but I also knew Phoenix had commanded him so.

I may be beta, but I could not override an alpha command, despite how pissed my wolf was.

As I paced my troubles, my mind fell blank in a desperation to calm my wolf. The only thought in my mind was that of my mate, and as I pictured her, bloody and dying, I had to force down the anger that boiled my blood. It was taking too long, far too long, and my body burned with the desire to shift.

Nurses or staff that wanted to come down this hallway either silently retraced their steps, or ran down the hall and avoided eye contact. It pissed me off, nobody speaking or acting like I was a demon.

It only pissed me off more.

I wasn't the bad guy!

"How long has it been?" I growled, spinning round to face the wolf against the wall.

"Ninety minutes." Sean answered.

"That's plenty of time!" I snapped, baring my teeth.

Sean actually flinched, and upon that harsh register, I forced myself to exhale. Sean was a sturdy soldier, rarely disturbed, so I knew I was taking it too far.

Huffing, I fought to diffuse the tension. I forced the apology through gritted teeth and sharp canines.

He winced a smile, avoiding eye contact as he gazed at a spot over my shoulder. "Nova is in recovery."

I bristled. "She is?"

"Phoenix is with her now."

I hesitated, forcing my jaw to relax. "Is she okay?"

"Why don't we go see for ourselves?"

Flexing my fists, I eyed the operating room.

"It is just round the corner. You will know when they are done." Sean murmured.

He was right.

I just had to...

Walk.

How do you walk again?

Sean patted my back, gently pushing into my shoulders. "Come on."

Tensely, we shuffled down the corridor and reached the luna suite. The same room Nova always occupied when hurt. I couldn't help but shudder. Too many times have I had to look at her pale, limp body on the bed in this room. Too many times have I wondered if she would ever heal.

Too many times, I have stared at Phoenix like he was about to unleash his beast and rampage. I understood, because I felt it too.

Yet today, as we entered the room, Phoenix was perfectly calm. Sitting in the armchair by her bed, his hand loosely held hers. He was staring down at their combined fingers when we entered, running his thumb along her wrist. Upon our no-knock arrival, his head snapped up and his eyes darkened. But we didn't receive a growl. Instead, he blinked back his wolf and settled his mind.

Just like that. I couldn't help but feel envious.

But the sudden appearance of Ares did not settle my beast, who still prowled on the edge of insanity.

"Sean, Charlie, what are you doing here?" Phoenix wondered.

His eyes flickered over our bodies as we shuffled inside and I chewed down the way it made me feel. I didn't like to be scrutinised. I felt vulnerable, and I didn't like it. My upper lip curled, a canine flashing as my wolf grumbled. Phoenix's eyes snapped to mine, his own darkening with a sudden awareness.

"Charlie..." He warned.

I grumbled, shifting my weight. My hands flexed at my sides, my toes curling against the cold floor.

"Control your beast." He growled, rising to his full height. "Or I will have to force it."

I winced as my wolf growled, fighting within me to drop my gaze. Phoenix had only ever forced me to shift twice, and one of those times that was way back when we met. The other was when I was amid training, and my wolf grew too antsy and agitated. I had charged into the forest and taken down an entire family of deer before my wolf caught sight of a person in the distance. He had been fuelled by blood thirst and angst, purely because the lone male looked like our old alpha. The man who had killed our mother.

An abrupt awareness washed over me, and a piece of that rage lessened.

All this time I had blamed the alpha for my mother's death, despite the rogues ambushing the pack. He had been the one to lose his cool; he had been the one to push my mother to her death. I had watched it all. Watched as she fell and cracked her spine on the ground, watched as they carried her away. Then I silently watched as my father fought the alpha to his own death, before the alpha ran away.

But that memory warped, and with the change of time came the change of observation.

My mother had been frantic, calling for help and coming up short. The alpha being the only one she could think to go to. She was just tugging on his arm when we broke through the doors. He was mid-shift, his hands extending to claws as the war broke out. So, when someone tugged on his arm to get his attention, he lashed out.

All this time, I had blamed him.

All this time, I blamed my old alpha for killing her.

But I saw it now.

It wasn't the alpha.

It wasn't my mother.

Fuck, it wasn't even the lack of my father's presence.

The rogues had killed the luna, and upon the bond breaking, the alpha lost himself to his beast.

How could I be so hypocritical?

I was merely a teenager; a child, and all I saw was angst and pain as my mother fell to her death. But now I realised, now I understood, the power of a mate bond. Even without Calida's mark upon my neck, I felt the desire to kill and be killed. I felt the agony as it rushed my blood, felt the anger that seeped through my veins as I sought revenge. And I felt the desperation that came with loss; the need to join them and never exist.

I got it.

I understood it.

Losing a mate, no matter how developed a relationship, was devastation enough.

But mine was safe now.

Nova had saved her.

There had been hope in the form of a tiny five foot three woman.

Shaking my head, I blinked through the haze. My wolf had quietened as he realised what I did. We did not need our rage because the enemy was not in this room. The real enemy was out there amongst the trees. It roamed freely, killing and hunting whoever and what it pleased. It was ruthless, and that was because it was pure rage in the form of a beast.

I exhaled, feeling every piece of unplaced anger vanish. Instead of fresh and primal, it settled to a manageable tension. We knew who the enemy was now and saved a special place within myself for all of that untapped rage.

A small smile lifted my cheeks, satisfaction flooding me from head to toe.

"Charlie?"

Phoenix was before me, standing a mere three inches from my face. I blinked, lifting my chin to stare into his dark eyes. His wolf was curious, watching me with an uncertainty.

"Are you going to kiss me, or did you just miss me that much?" I wondered.

With a gentle roll of his eyes, they turned back to the same amber colour as before. They didn't shine as brightly as usual, but I could sense a slight tension in them. However, I knew it wasn't directed towards me.

"First, no, you are covered in blood. Second, you are naked."

My eyes dropped to my body, wincing as I saw myself in a new light. Blood coated me everywhere, most of it Calida's. The wounds on my side were healed, but the dried, clotted blood hung to my skin in small scabs. The rain that had poured had washed most from my shoulders, but left it to drip down me like a painting.

Glancing at Sean, I noticed he was wearing some jogging shorts. He must've been training with Nova before he came to us, because he always wore the same damn pair; dark grey with a red stripe on the side.

"I suppose I am," I hummed, before scanning the room. "Can I use the shower?"

"Are you sure?" Sean wondered. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reassured him. "I don't want my mate waking to see me naked and covered in blood."

"Any news on her yet?" Phoenix wondered.

"None, so I need to hurry." I told him.

He waved his hand, and I scurried into the shower. The water was cold and then too hot, as I did not care to turn the dials. The water pooled red as I scrubbed it from my skin, swirling down the drain with a sighing goodbye.

In record time, I was out of the shower and wrapping myself in a towel. I left one for Nova, assuming she would wash too.

Leaving the bathroom smelling as fresh as I could, I barely flinched when something came hurtling my way. Catching it mid-flight, I pulled the fabric down to eye it. Clothes. Glancing up at Sean, he quirked an eyebrow.

"Calida's nearly out."

My eyes widened, and without another thought, I dropped the towel and pulled on the shower. Sean grunted, jerking his head toward Phoenix. I glanced at the alpha male, finding him back in his chair with his hand in Nova's.

Hesitating, I took in her appearance. She seemed relatively normal; not too pained or hurt. I could smell the blood, though, and the strange scent of Pollux. It was odd; I expected her to be gushing blood on her deathbed. Wouldn't be the first time.

"Is she okay?" I wondered.

"Yes, she's just recovering."

"I smell her blood." I cocked my head. "Are you sure?"

"She had a transfusion. She's good as new."

"Heavy sleeper." I quirked an eyebrow.

Phoenix sighed, dropping his gaze to Nova. "She's in a vision. I cannot reach her."

I exhaled, uncomfortable. As amazing as teleporting Nova was, it made my every instinct on edge. I could only imagine how Phoenix felt; it was no wonder he held her hand so tightly.

"Well..." I began. "Make sure she doesn't float away. I have to speak to her later."

Phoenix's lips quirked. "I will."

Breathing a thanks to him, I patted Sean on the back before scurrying down the hall. Bare feet slapped against the cold floor, and I nearly tripped over a nurse in my hurry to round a corner. I fixed her before she fell, apologising softly as I adjusted the bag on her arm. She blinked, flabbergasted at me but I continued on, reaching the doors of the theatre in perfect time.

The door swung open, the scent of my mate's blood faint.

"Beta Charlie." Kate greeted.

She was no longer in scrubs, drying her hands on some paper towels. I nervously swallowed, desperate to see my mate.

"Hi." I rushed. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Kate smiled. "Everything... Well, everything is back in its place."

I exhaled. "Scarring?"

"None."

"Blood?"

"No bleeds."

"Brain damage?"

"We are going to do further tests." She smiled softly. "We gave her a light sedative just to be safe. She should be coming round from it now."

I eagerly tip-toed, peering over the slight woman. "Where is she?"

"We have already transferred her. She's in room-

Kate didn't have the chance to finish because I was already searching. I caught the scent of my mate instantly and quickly dashed away from the theatre, a sharp thanks over my shoulder.

Bursting through the door of room sixty-four, my heart skipped a beat. The nurses inside jumped at my arrival, quickly finishing what they were doing. There were three of them, and as the third left the room, I hesitantly stepped closer to my mate. She had a drip in her arm, and a heart monitor clipped to her. A blood pressure machine wrapped around her bicep, but other than that, she lay perfectly comfortably in the bed.

Who was I kidding? Calida hated sleeping on her back. I often called her a worm because she always cocooned herself in a ball with most of the blanket.

I stepped up to her and cupped her face. Marvelling in the softness of her skin, I felt my entire body shut down at her beauty.

She seemed normal. Like nothing happened. The only reminder of what occurred was the teeth marks on either side of her neck. They had cleaned her in the theatre, and somebody had taken the time to tie her hair back, leaving her neck on full display. I swallowed nervously as my eyes dropped to her throat. Taking my time, I ran my eyes along the side of her neck, spotting the four canine scars of my teeth.

My mark was fully healed and unrejected on her skin. It was a soft pink colour, a gentle contrast to the dark caramel of her skin. My fingers traced it, the contact igniting a shiver down my spine. My lips parted at the sensation and tentatively, I reached for the bond.

She wasn't in pain. She was at rest, but she was slowly waking. I could feel her mind whirring with energy, preparing her body to wake. Eagerly I watched, sitting in the chair beside her, much like Phoenix did with Nova. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, mesmerised by the way her lashes fluttered or her chest rose with every breath.

I couldn't wait to see her open her eyes, to feel her gaze, but an uncertainty settled within me that told me the worst was yet to come.