noun ~ faithfulness to a person, cause or belief
PHOENIX

Staring across at my cousin, the room fell silent with my mate's disappearance. Theia sat beside him, her lips pursed as she started at the closed door. James shifted his weight, giving me an urging glance to speak.

"I never thought I'd see you be a father, Phoenix."

I blinked, focusing on his face. "Why is that?"

"Well... You weren't exactly looking for a mate." He began. "I thought... If you took on the bond with Lyra, then you'd only force an heir and that in itself would've been... an interesting spectacle."

My defences raised, and I narrowed my eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"It's a big change." He raised his hands. "I was just stating a fact."

Theia rolled his eyes, and I turned my attention to her next. "He is saying you are turning soft."

I growled, my fingers flexing on Belle's waist. I wouldn't hurt her, not at all. Pulling her to my knee, I kept her warmth pressed into my stomach.

"What makes you say that, cousin?" I spat.

His eyes twitched with a flinch, and he dropped his gaze. "N-nothing, cousin."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "You need to grow a backbone, Alexandar."

He narrowed his gaze, glaring back at me. "I have one. You are just a lot, Phoenix."

"I thought I was soft?"

"You are!" He hissed. "It is no wonder people are threatening your pack! You are just rolling over and giving into them to protect your mate."

"So? You wouldn't do the same?" I snapped.

"No!" He practically shouted, clearing his throat as an afterthought. "Even I, the so-called spineless one would do something about it. If someone threatened my mate, my children, I would do something about it other than subduing them. They are always going to take advantage of you if you keep it up, Phoenix. And then one day, you'll have nothing left to protect."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Listen to yourself!" He huffed. "The old Phoenix would've killed anybody who dare lay a hand on his pack, on his family. You are rolling over like a lapdog and letting them believe their own thoughts. You are having these issues because you are doing nothing about it!"

"I am trying!" I growled. "They wanted reassurance. I gave them that. They needed aid against rogues. I gave them that. They want advice. Guess what? I gave them that!"

"Exactly." He shook his head. "These people threaten the lives of your mate and children, and you just let them have their demands?"

"They are false threats." I stated.

"But what if they aren't?" He tutted. "What if one, out of the dozens you have had, isn't? What if they mean it? And no matter what you do isn't good enough, and they hit it where it hurts? What then?"

I hesitated, glancing at the witch at his side. She was staring at me with a blank expression, and upon eye contact, her pupils dilated.

"I would kill them."

She blinked, dropping her gaze to her lap.

"Do they know that?" Alexandar wondered. "Have you threatened them back? Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, Phoenix."

My jaw tightened as I looked back at him. "Are you suggesting I go back over every damn agreement I have made and threaten them instead?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I am."

"That's stupid."

"It is called being safe." His jaw tensed. "You need to own up to your power, Phoenix. You are one of the, no, you are the strongest wolf I know. More than me, more than my top guard, and you need to make them remember that. They see you as a mated family man, and nothing more."

I listened, actually listened, to my cousin as he stared at me.

"Say I do that, and I cause a war." I cocked my head, and Alexandar frowned. "Then what?"

"Then you fight them back."

It was Theia who spoke, and I shifted my gaze back to her. She glanced at the door and then at my daughter before meeting my gaze.

"You have too much to protect to let them win, Phoenix." She began. "People... People will soon hear about Calida and then a bigger prize will be on Nova's head."

"I can't protect her from everything." I muttered. "She will just rebel against me."

"You don't need to." Theia shook her head. "Nova is powerful. She just holds back. She could see a million futures if she allowed her gift to flow freely. Nova could bloody see somebody's move and counteract it before they even move! The possibilities are endless."

I shook my head, staring at the dark hair on my daughter's head. "I don't want harm or stress to come to her."

"She is pregnant, I get it." Theia nodded. "But you understand that doesn't make her useless. She needs to hone her gift and use it. Because..."

I tensed, my sharp gazing focusing in on the way she swallowed and nervously fretted with her hands.

"What?" I asked. "What is it?"

"It's nothing... for now."

"Don't turn all saintly on me now, Theia." I tutted. "You are not Gaia. I know you don't honor morals as she does."

She narrowed her eyes, offended. "I still have some, Phoenix. Fighting with the future can only make it worse. It is not up to me."

I didn't miss the way her voice trailed off as she stared at the door. My lips parted, about to force it out of her, when the bond flickered with acknowledgement.

Nova returned from the bathroom with an odd expression. I reached out to the bond, and she let me right in, already wanting me. She was... concerned and scared.

Freddy was fine. As were she and Kelsey. There was no immediate threat of danger...

What is it? I wondered.

Her eyes flickered to mine as she sat down, and wordlessly she opened her mind. Her brother had messaged her, saying he needed time, which was completely understandable. But Nova... she didn't seem to like it.

To be honest, my little mate was fiercely over-protective and was probably over-reacting...slightly.

"Everything okay, Nova?" Alexandar wondered.

My mate forced a smile, passing me Freddy before taking Belle instead. I smiled down at my son as he peered up at me, his green eyes creasing at the corners. Every day, they grew lighter, and every day the dread that he would be lycan settled in m bones.

It was just an eye colour, but the similarities in both nature and appearance were too uncanny.

He would forever have a price on his head.

Perhaps Alexandar and Theia were right.

They needed a father, and an alpha. They need protection, and I was the one person who could provide it without being gravely injured.

I would lay my life down for it and I wouldn't regret a thing other than not being able to stare at Nova every damn second of my life.

But at least I'd die nobly.

At least it would be worth it because it would mean their eternal safety.

I need to sober up.

I have to climb out of this new-dad haze and protect my family.

If not for my son, but for my daughters and my mate.

***

Nova was acting odd.

Her usual pregnancy fretting was turning to something I debated whether I should be concerned about. With only a month to go before she birthed our third child; I could only assume it was because she was getting so close.

I watched her as she waddled around the house, following Freddy as he crawled across the wooden floor.

At nine months old, they were keeping us on their toes. With Freddy learning how to crawl, and Belle realising she can walk if she held onto furniture, nothing was safe. Belle had taken a liking to pulling herself up against the coffee table before proceeding to yank everything from it.

That included drinks, books, even pot-pourri. Thankfully, none of the drinks were hot.

It took us more chances than we'd like to admit before we cleared every low surface and bought a play pen.

And Freddy... He was eating everything he found. The rug, a piece of rubbish, the leg of a chair... He was teething hard and fast, and explored everything with his damn mouth.

It didn't surprise me that Nova had company most days when I was out of the house.

Today I was home for dinner and stared at her as though she had grown another head. I know, technically, she had made three, in fact, but this was a different fretting.

"What is it?" I asked.

Her green eyes darted over to mine, widening. "What?"

She was in the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers as I lounged on the sofa with Belle, trying to keep her awake before bed.

"You are acting odder than normal." I quirked an eyebrow. "What's on your mind?"

She scoffed. "Nothing and everything, Phoenix."

I couldn't help but smirk at her brash tone, glancing at Belle. "Do you think Mummy is stressed?"

Mouthing her hand, her lips curled into a grin. The hand currently not being a snack, was flying wildly against her knee. I heard Nova grumble from the kitchen and spared a glance at Freddy in the playpen. He happily sat in the centre, surrounded by a multitude of noisy toys.

Freddy had a nap at a normal time, but Belle insisted she was too big for one today. And now we were paying for it.

"I am not stressed." Nova all but snapped.

"Okay." I hummed.

"I'm not!" She shrieked.

"I said okay."

She growled, rounding the kitchen island. My eyes dropped to her distended stomach, eying the sliver of skin that showed under her shirt. Excitement grew in my gut as the tiny bond flickered with recognition.

"You said it with a tone."

"I have a tone?" I cocked my head.

"Yes!" she huffed. "I'm... I can't do this right now."

"What are we doing?" I shook my head. "I just wanted to know-

"I'm going for a walk!"

I blinked, concerned and confused. "Nova..."

"Don't baby me, Phoenix." She snapped, sitting opposite me to pull on her shoes.

I sighed, settling back into the cushions. "Is a walk truly what you need?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Well, I have been forbidden from training, so yes, it is."

"You could birth any day." I stated calmly.

"It is a singleton pregnancy. I'm fine." She grumbled, rising from the sofa.

I watched her walk to the door, shoving her arms into a coat. It was wintertime. Every few days it would try to snow, but it was never dry or cold enough for it to settle.

"I'm just looking out for you, my love."

Nova paused at the door, staring down at her shoes with a grimace. "I know."

She would not stay, and I knew that. She wanted to be outside, and I would not restrict her to the indoors.

"I'll see you later." I murmured.

She nodded, opening the door and leaving without another thought. I knew James wouldn't be far; she had dedicated the man's role to her guard rather easily. Apparently, Sean was too comfortable with her and spoke too much. I think the man was just eager to not be on the wrong end of my mate's wrath.

The twins easily triggered her temper when pregnant. I think with so many varied hormones, she couldn't cope with it all. This time, with only one baby, it seemed easier. Mentally, anyway. Instead of taut and on edge, she was calmer and could manage her anxieties easier.

But today, and even yesterday, something was different. Her small quirks were growing louder, and I would be a terrible mate if I didn't notice them.

Rising from the sofa, I scooped up both wriggling monsters and carried them downstairs. I had a playpen in my office, and I needed to respond to some calls and emails before the end of the day. It was nearly the end of the year, and I had to do a brief synopsis of the year gone to file away for another day.

Belle squealed loudly as I placed her in the safe space, grumbling. Freddy stared at her, as though she disgusted him, and I laughed softly, ruffling his hair.

He looked so much like his uncle.

I knew Nova was worrying about him. It was the time of year where she wanted everybody close, and with Pollux, and also Charlie gone, she was upset.

Perhaps that is why she was out of sorts. It was a hard time to have an empty nest.

It was near seven o'clock when I felt her come home. She was only gone fifteen minutes, which wasn't long at all. I pitied her inability to shift, because I bet that would feel so rewarding right now. It was something I enjoyed doing when I had too many thoughts.

The office was soundproof, but the bond grew closer, and closer, until she was on the same floor as us. I recognised her hesitation outside the door and tugged the bond gently in greeting. She acknowledged it, but didn't enter, moving to the paint room next door. I felt the vibrations of the door closing beneath my feet, and it seems the twins did to because they both glanced up at the door.

Belle cried out softly but didn't react further, choosing to chew her toy instead. She was attempting words, and so far, ma and da was all she could manage. Although most likely not aimed at me, I adored hearing the sounds they both made.

I think Freddy will just start talking full coherent sentences. There are thoughts and emotions behind his eyes that screamed intelligence.

Nova's painting meant she truly was stressed. But it was something she was doing more the closer to January we got.

I was going to have to send out some feelers for Pollux. Her worry was making me worry, and despite the insistence that he was fine and needed time, even I was doubting it now. Nova was going to make herself sick with all the fretting, and I didn't want that for her.

I could ask questions, prod around security systems of his last known location. It has been a long time since we spoke to him; ten weeks since his last phone call. He sounded like he was having some personal issues then, so I just hoped he hadn't lost himself to his wolf. But it was the most likely scenario; why else would he dip for so long? Last time he lost track of time, so it was fitting it could be the same this time.

His wolf would keep himself. He was a lycan, and I knew his wolf would defend Pollux if it came to it. He was a silent creature, wise and patient, but much like Nova, I bet there were some fangs hiding beneath that soft gaze.

I just hoped he never had to use them.