noun ~ a judgment or decision reached by reasoning

NOVA

Breathing became easier as the day passed. After a morning of small talk and lunch, I realised it wasn't so hard to just breathe through it.

When the time came for things to get serious, we all withdrew to our home. It was the most private place in the pack house without unwanted ears listening. With the twins settled to sleep, we all gathered around the sofa.

"This house is amazing." Avani breathed. "How long did it take to build?"

"Long enough." Phoenix chuckled, sitting beside me.

"You say he hid it from you?" She wondered, glancing to me.

"Yeah, he convinced Gaia to keep it a secret. I did not know what was going on." I shook my head.

"You're going to need more space if you keeping creating duplicate children." She teased.

"There's two spare rooms, we can fit four or five more in." I mused, rolling my eyes.

"Plenty of time to build then." She laughed.

"Shall we get down to this before Nova chickens out?" Aldren wondered.

"Good idea." I breathed. "Because I will chicken out."

His smile was soft despite the tease to his gaze. "It must be something serious to bring us all down."

"It's something I felt should be talked about in person." I agreed.

Phoenix cleared his throat and my eyebrows furrowed as the bond tightened. He awkwardly shifted his gaze away, and I cocked my head, wondering what was up.

"What did you do?"

"There is someone else on their way here." He murmured. "They're coming up to the house as we speak."

I frowned, utterly confused. "Who?"

His smile was soft as he went to answer the light knock on the door. My mind searched, reaching for the person behind the wood, but without sight or scent, I found nothing.

Phoenix opened the door, grinning with welcome as two wolves entered the house. Aila's smiling face was a sight for sore eyes as she greeted Phoenix before turning her gaze to mine. Her dark hair was tied back into a loose bun, wavy tendrils falling across her face. Her skin glowed with the summer sun's kiss as she walked into the room.

"Nova!" She grinned.

I embraced her with a surprised laugh. "I didn't know you were coming. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been sitting down!"

"Phoenix invited me. Said something serious was happening, and that you were too chicken to ask me to come down." She teased.

Aila's mere presence was always so calm. In a weird way, it felt motherly, and I wondered if she even realised that she acted so naturally. I suppose being an alpha-born wolf helped; it was in her blood to be a luna figure.

"I've just made tea. Help yourself, Aila." Phoenix murmured, sitting on the sofa.

She thanked him politely, perching on the only vacant armchair. The Cyrus family greeted her like old friends. I eyed the male that lingered in the background, and Aila must've noticed my interest because she laughed softly.

"Demetrius said I could venture on this one solo as he is swamped with this new blueprint." Ailia explained. "This is my beta, Connor."

Connor introduced himself with a small smile, nodding his head to Phoenix in greeting. The familiar pang of envy rippled in my veins as I forced a smile on my face.

I missed my beta.

Small talk continued between our small group, and I noticed the beta moved to sit at our dining table when we finished. It didn't bother me, because I knew it wasn't of his interest. He was just Aila's taxi-driver and bodyguard.

"Let's get this over with." Samson groaned. "All of this small talk is making my brain hurt."

My lips quirked with humour, but I agreed and centred my thoughts around what we needed to talk about.

"What I really need help with may be out of your personal experience, but you are the only ones I can turn to." I began. "I'm struggling lately. With both my wolf and my gift."

Avani's expression fell, concern creasing her brow. "What's wrong with Celimene?"

My wolf bristled softly at her name.

"I... I turned somebody." I hesitated. "About two weeks ago, and she turned last week."

"It was successful?" Aldren wondered.

My hesitance made his eyebrows furrowed, and he looked to Phoenix. My mate sighed, curling his hand around my thigh.

"Rogues attacked Calida whilst in human territory." He explained. "We are unsure if it was an intended attack, as they waited until she was away from her mate, Beta Charlie. But Nova and Sean were one of the first to arrive. After Charlie tried to mark Calida to save her, Nova fell into a trance-like state and tried to turn her."

"Then the full moon happened. She lost control and ran." I finished. "She was a fully turned wolf, but she had no control."

"She attacked Nova." Phoenix added.

"I was fine." I muttered, scratching my palm.

"Where is Beta Charlie?" Aila wondered.

I met Aldren's eyes before dropping my gaze with an empty sadness. "He went after her. He didn't want her to be alone."

Her face fell. "Things will get a lot quieter around here, hey? Without both he and Pollux."

"It already is." I frowned. "Luckily, we have a lot to keep ourselves busy with."

Avani's laugh was soft as she interrupted. "Two kids will do that to you. But this hardly seems concerning. From what I remember, Calida has a sketchy past? Was she the human cast out by her family of wolves?"

"Yeah, we think the change overwhelmed her." Phoenix nodded. "Past and present caught up with each other and must've overwhelmed her. But saying this, ever since, Nova has had... issues."

"Like what?" Avani's eyes locked onto me.

"She's been feeling... disconnected." I mumbled. "I'm concerned that changing Calida has done more damage that I realised."

Avani shook her head. "My mother would change humans to wolves well into my childhood. She turned many people for various reasons, but one of the main reasons was for health. Sick children, lost adults... It was always someone that deserved a new life. Celimene was... She is anything but a novice."

My heart swelled with a vague familiarity. My wolf's past lives, ones forgotten and redeveloped, all seemed to link in similar ways.

"Saying that, she too, would often rest until the change happened." Avani nodded. "When she first turned people, she would turn them within the first few days of a full moon."

"I remember when your mother turned someone for the first time." Aila added. "It wasn't long after she completed the bond with your father. I think she only ever turned two people. When she mated him, our conversations became monthly and then quarterly."

My mind wandered to what Aila told me about the first time she met my mother when they were both young. How my mother singled her out and befriended. I wondered what my mother saw in Aila to want to establish a bond, and that made me only itch to use my gift.

"So, a wolf being quieter is normal?" Phoenix wondered.

"Inherently so." Avani nodded. "Although it has been a while since, so I am not one hundred percent certain."

My eyes wandered from mother to son when I felt Aldren's burning blue eyes on my skin. He cocked his head, eyes glossing as he scanned my face. It was mere seconds as he dipped into his gift, and then his eyebrows creased with concern.

"How long have you been having issues with you gift this time, Nova?" He asked. "You appear to be having a lot of... issues with it."

I sighed, staring down at the spot where Phoenix's fingers dug into my leg. His hold was comforting and supportive, recognising the tension in my body.

"It feels like it's never-ending." I admitted. "Just when I think I get the hang of it, it slips away. I can't even conjure a vision on command. My only visions I've had are random when I touch things."

"The last one was in the forest." Phoenix interjected. "We had an intruder at our border and Nova went to scope it out with us."

"Nothing useful, really." I sighed. "I conjured Theia a while ago. That was the last, most impressive use of my gift... I think."

"Theia?" He wondered. "What happened there?"

"Not a lot." I shrugged. "Both she and Gaia think it is just me that is in the way."

"Most likely is." He nodded. "What has Gaia said?"

I awkwardly surveyed the room, but found no hostility or otherwise about the topic change.

"She spoke to me before she left today, actually." I explained. "She told me my wolf is not blocking me, but myself. That my gift is me as much as the blood in my veins and that I just have to believe in myself."

"A simple enough equation."

"Equation?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes. You just need to reopen that door to your gift. For whatever reason, you have closed it off even more."

"I... I have done nothing. I don't remember closing that door."

"Something made it close." Aila spoke. "Your mother... I haven't mentioned it yet, but I feel it is the right time."

My eyebrows rose, turning to my mother's old friend with intrigue. She knew my mother as much as Avani did, but there were lines between friends and siblings that you didn't cross for some. I, for example, told Molly things I would never tell either of my brothers.

"She would often practice with me as a subject. She would... We called it soul travels." Aila laughed softly. "She would guess what I was going to do in the next few days, who I would meet on my travels... She even knew my mate was an alpha. If it wasn't for her gift, I wouldn't have met Demetrius for years because she took me to his pack."

Her laugh was soft, lost in a ghost of a memory.

"Sometimes we tried to venture further." She continued. "She would... Try to see further than those around her. Celimene always warned her not to venture too far because she was so inexperienced, but she did anyway. Long before she had you two, she would try to learn more than what was capable of a seer."

"Did she see more?" I wondered.

"Yes." Aila whispered, dropping her gaze. "Then one day she ventured too far. She was pregnant, and I came to visit one day. It was a half-hearted baby shower, of sorts, so there were a lot of us. But after the party, she became desperate to know what her children's future would be like."

Phoenix's grip tightened on my thigh, but I already recognised the tension in Aila's shoulders. My mind immediately locked onto the visions of my mother in her home, worrying about my gift and future.

I knew this is what Aila was speaking of.

"She went too far, was out for hours." Aila shook her head. "When she came too, she said she saw her babies. She was white as a ghost and I had to call everyone in to help bring her back. Thankfully, she and the two of you were fine, but she never ventured that far again."

"Was..." I cleared my throat. "Was that when she saw all the possibilities of my future?"

Her eyes widened, and I didn't miss the way her breath hitched. "You know of it?"

"I have seen glimmers." I nodded. "But I saw her worrying to my grandmother about all the outcomes. That was the day they closed of my heritage and gift."

Avani nodded. "I remember that day. She was never the same after that. Hardly saw anything. It must've been hard to see every future of your unborn child, even the bad ones."

Samson, still quiet, pulled his mate to his side. She sank into the bond, and Aldren glanced at them with a soft expression.

"What do you want Nova to take away from this?" Phoenix asked.

Aila nervously picked at the hem of her shirt. "I don't know. I just felt like I had to say it. Word vomit, I guess."

No, it was something more.

Why did Aila bring up the memory of my mother when I already knew so much about it?

Aila knew something more than what she let on. If Avani didn't interrupt, I wonder what else she would've said?

My eyes turned back to Aldren. "I need you to help me with my gift."

Aldren hummed. "Do you want to try some exercises with me?"

I nodded eagerly, knowing that Aldren brought out my gift when it hid from me.

We moved to the downstairs lounge, pulling the curtains together before settling onto the sofa. He sat opposite me and took my hands in his. Like every time before, I closed my eyes and emptied my mind.

"Lose yourself to peace, Nova." He murmured, right before me.

The lower my heart dropped, the more my mind wandered. I could feel Aldren's energy beneath my fingertips, humming deeply with acknowledgement. Celimene bristled as I surveyed her, finding her healthy but drained. My eyebrows knit together, and I dived deeper. More into myself I fell deeper and deeper, lower and lower, until...

Until I hit a barrier.

My breath hitched, stopping by this presence within myself I have never recognised before. It was small, tiny in fact, but its power was immense. It seemed to glow as it unfurled, revealing a strength all its own. My blood was its blood, my power was theirs, my life... was theirs.

My eyes flew open with surprise at finding that fresh new life. Aldren's expression had softened to one of amusement.

I scowled, my entire trance falling apart. "Don't you say it."

"At least we know." He smirked, releasing my hand. "I suppose one of those spare rooms won't go to waste anymore."