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noun  ~ a plant with green leaves and white or purple flowers; it's considered good luck to find a four-leaf clover

POLLUX

"I think I could live here forever." I mumbled, glancing up at the sky.

"Why don't you?" A soft voice wondered.

My head turned to stare across at the shadowed orbs of Clover. We were lying on a blanket gazing up at the stars, our arms behind our heads and hearts full of content. It was autumn, and I had been here six months now. I had grown so close to Clover, that I felt like I couldn't go a day without them.

"It's complicated." I muttered.

"Uncomplicate it, Lux."

Lux.

A new nickname.

After finding out my guardian called me Polly, Clover had decided to find a new nickname. They didn't have to think hard or go far before I was branded Lux.

Sighing, I stared back up at the stars. "I don't know how to."

"Baby steps." They murmured, a hand moving to rest on my arm.

My body felt warm where they touched me, and my chest rose and fell with emotion. "I don't want to get into trouble."

"Why would you get into trouble?"

I hesitated, my voice shaking for a change. "Remember how you said your parents didn't accept your choices? How you felt like a different person, a different species?"

"Yeah..." Clover's eyes widened.

"That's how I feel." I admitted. "I have a secret, that I can't tell anyone. If I told someone, I fear it would be the end."

"You can tell me, Lux." Clover shook their head. "We're... friends, right?"

My heart ached at their words and I let out a soft laugh. "Of course, I am overly fond of you Clover, to the point I wonder if I can ever truly be just your friend."

Clover didn't comment but I kept my eyes on the sky.

"I have this... deformity. My mind works differently to everyone else's, so much that I find it can be difficult for people to understand me." I continued, keeping it broad. "I fear staying in one place would inhibit that part of me, to the point I become insane."

"Six months here, Lux, and that is all you can say to me?" Clover whispered.

I blinked, pushing myself up onto my elbows to peer down at them. "What do you mean?"

"You say you are overly fond of me, what does that mean? What... what are these feelings in my chest, Pollux?" Clover whispered.

I swallowed sharply when they rose to sit upright, my eyes following the flex of their arms and back. Clover sighed, picking at blades of grass along the side of the blanket. We were back in the spot I first brought them too, basking in the summery evening. It was late July, and Clover wore less clothing that revealed the freckled painting of their skin. My eyes trailed them every time I saw them, finding masterpieces in the patterns.

Clover didn't believe when I said I saw a wolf in one of them.

But it was rather uncanny.

My heart warmed at the memory of Clover's laughter, and even the soft shove they gave me that had me falling from their sofa.

"I like you, Clover." I mumbled. "A little too much."

"What does that mean, Pollux?" Clover whispered, brown eyes crinkled with a frown.

My hand hesitated, before brushing through the strands of their hair. Whilst Clover's was short and pixie like, mine had grown in compensation for it. Clover flinched slightly, unused to the contact but after a moment's hesitation, pushed their head into my hand. I smiled softly, brushing the pads of my fingers through the thick tendrils of hair and down to their neck. I felt Clover's pulse beneath my fingers and pulled my hand away with a shuddery breath.

"I like you, isn't that enough?" I shrugged.

"But how much, Pollux?" They wondered, turning to face me head on. "Do you want to be with me?"

"That would be nice." I admitted.

"No, do you want to be with me, Pollux? Intimately and physically?"

I hesitated, the thought never crossing my mind. I never thought of Clover in that way, never thought about intimate, physical relationships. Clover had always been someone I admired, someone I felt attached too, but I never thought about mating them.

"I... I don't know." I mumbled. "I don't think that way."

"Am I that bad?" They laughed sadly.

"No! No!" I was quick to retaliate. "Not like that. I just..."

"Then what?"

"I don't have urges like that!" I spluttered. "Clover, I don't see you as an object for sex. I don't think about sex; I don't think about intimacy like that."

"So... You're like... asexual?"

"I don't know what that means." I admitted.

"Right. Forest life." Clover snickered, playfully.

I couldn't help but smile at them, sitting upright with my elbows around my knees. This conversation had caught me off guard, and was not somewhere I saw it going.

"Do you like men, Pollux?" Clover probed.

My cheeks flamed. "I like anybody."

"Do you want to fuck anybody?"

"No!" I gasped. "I don't think about sex, Clover. Please stop making me repeat this."

Clover laughed, giving in easily. "Okay, I apologise for embarrassing you. I just wanted to figure you out, Lux. You've been here six months, with me nearly all of those days. But you're so closed up, it's hard to pry you open."

I sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just how I am. People with my...history, don't tend to open up."

"Is that why you're running?"

"Huh?"

"Running away?"

"I'm not running away." I scoffed.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. I am just travelling."

"The moment you became seventeen, you just decided to leave?" Clover's eyebrow rose.

"Hey, why don't you go back to being shy?" I teased.

Clover grinned, pushing their glasses up their face. "Yeah, right. I'm too comfortable around you now, Pollux."

A grin lifted my cheeks at their admission. "Great, then understand why I say I am not running."

"Prove it.

"Prove it?" My eyebrows furrowed. "How?"

"Prove you are not running, and want to stay here."

"I don't know how to do that? What do you want me to do? Lie down for the next month?"

Clover laughed, the sound warming my heart. It was like a Disney movie every time they so much as giggled. A fairy may as well have been born.

Clover grabbed my cheeks, their hands warm and soft against my cheeks. I inhaled sharply, the sweet smell of chocolate drifting from their lips. I have never been so close to them before, and fought hard to battle the blush.

"Lux, just prove it. Show me you want to stay here." Clover breathed.

My tongue darted out nervously, scanning Clover's face. Brown eyes were soft with understanding, yet their lips were curled into a slight smirk.

"I don't know how, but I will figure it out." I mumbled, eyes dropping over every freckle across their face.

I loved summer time.

Clover inhaled, their eyes creasing slightly. "Okay then."

Just as they went to pull away, my hands darted up to hold theirs against my cheeks. Clover startled, blinking quickly with raised eyebrows. I hesitated, a nervous sweat brewing across my neck as I debated what I was about to do.

With utmost delicateness, I pushed my head forward until our noses brushed. Clover didn't pull away, and their eyes slipped closed almost instinctively. With a spine as tense as an old oak tree, I closed the distance and pressed my lips softly against theirs.

There were no fireworks, no burning mate sparks. Just warmth. Warmth and a scent I adored, a scent I knew could drive me crazy. My heart practically skipped a beat, flaring wildly in my chest as the softness of Clover's lips warmed mine.

It was only brief, and I pulled away before I could even deepen it. But it was enough to have my heart racing, my lungs burning with adrenaline as the blood in my veins surged with a strength so mighty, Hercules would be jealous.

My eyes fluttered open, finding Clover mere inches away from me. Brown met green, and for a moment we were both quiet, our breaths deep and even as we held hands and gazed into each other's eyes.

Lips parting, they swallowed loudly. I waited, halting my breath as I thought about how many ways Clover could reject me. How my heart could shatter, how I could wind up alone and betrayed. I just told them I didn't crave physical pleasure, and yet I kissed them.

Did it mean the same thing?

It was only a kiss, a small, intimate, lovely, amazing-fuck, what is happening to me.

Clover's breath fanned my face, and the word that left their lips, reassured me that my worrying was for nothing.

"Okay," Clover breathed.

"Okay?"

"Stay with me, Lux. Live in my house."

"Wait-what?" I stammered.

"We have known each other for six months, spent every day together. Move in with me."

"Isn't six months rather soon?"

"You say you don't want to leave here, right?"

"Yeah, but... I thought..." I trailed, awkward.

"That I wanted sex? Pollux, I like you, a lot, I would even say... that I am falling for you, and sex isn't everything. Not to me, anyway. Who knows where this relationship could even go?" Clover continued. "In a year, we could hate each other."

"I very much doubt that." I breathed.

"So, what do you think?" Clover grinned. "It'll save you money too."

"That's true."

"And you can stop asking to borrow my shower."

"I could."

"And stop foraging like a weirdo."

"Berries are very easy to find around here."

"Pollux!"

A smile lifted my cheeks, and I laughed, shaking my head. "Okay, okay."

Inhaling deeply, I squeezed Clover's hands.

"I'll stay."

***

"So... you met someone? What's that got to do with going to jail?" Charlie complained.

"I was getting there." I scoffed and Charlie grunted.

"Just tell me why!"

"I thought I'd give you background information." I frowned.

"I am a child, just tell me!"

Sighing, I gave into temptation. "I found a discarded basket of flowers and took them home. Turns out someone saw and I was arrested for theft."

Charlie paused, his eyes wide as saucers. I scowled at him, feeling the tension build the longer he stared at me in complete silence. His cheeks started to turn red, lips quivering with soft whimpers before finally, finally, he exploded into laughter. I scowled, glaring down at the ground as he fell off the log with laughter.

"You... You... Jail... Flowers! What!" He managed between laughs.

I couldn't help the laugh that fell from my mouth, shaking my head with amusement. I had complied to the humans of Arleybay, but Clover teased me about it for months. Apparently the basket had sentimental value to the woman who owned it. A night in jail was worth it, because not seeing Clover had made the next day so much sweeter.

Eventually, Charlie ran out of laughter, resorting to soft chuckles. Tears were in his eyes as he pulled himself back up to sit on the log. The wood groaned beneath his wait and I waited patiently for him to finish.

"Oh, that was a good one." He muttered, chuckling still.

"I am glad you find my life so amusing."

He grinned, nudging me. "It's good you met someone though. To spend a year with them, you must've loved them?"

Having only told Charlie the basics of my past, the question caught me off guard.

"I suppose I did... There was no mate bond, so it never happened." I shrugged.

"Did you fuck?"

"Charlie!"

"What?" He chuckled.

"No, we didn't."

He gasped. "That is some patience I am going to need to borrow. I don't think I can stomach another pyjama party with Calida."

I smirked. "Trouble in the bedroom?"

He groaned. "She's amazing and beautiful but I dare not push it."

"A relationship should be strong and sturdy." I nodded. "But I understand your temptation, I just never acted on mine."

"Is that why you left?" He wondered. "It sounds like you liked this human, quite a lot."

"It's not that." I mumbled.

"Lack of mate bond? You have a mate out there somewhere, you know."

I sighed. "I know, but I never thought about that when I was with Clover."

"So what was it?" He wondered.

I shook my head, refusing to answer.

My heart hurt as the image of Clover's teary brown eyes flashed before me. The roaring of the winter rain blew through my ears, drenching me in seconds. The ice of the rain was nothing like the ice that stabbed at my heart.

I felt betrayed.

I felt lost.

It felt like everything we had, crumbled at this one simple slip up.

And life was never the same since.

Question of the Day:
If you could relive a memory, is there anything that comes to mind?