noun ~ anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen

NOVA

Pollux was staring off into space, and Phoenix was actively holding my gaze. It wasn't his usual smoulder, or soft gaze, and it made me even more frustrated. He was sitting so casually too; man-spreading with his arms across the back of the sofa.

"Spit it out, will ya?" I grunted.

Pollux smirked, the mask on his face so perfect. A year ago I wouldn't be so sure he was hiding something. He was good, I will give him that. But I was better.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say." Pollux shrugged.

"Enough games, Polly. Please," I begged.

He sighed, nails scratching at the fabric of the pillows. "Fine, fine, okay. Something is bugging me. But not in the way that you think."

The way that I think?

I felt my head tilt, staring at him, confused. I knew something was bugging him, but I assumed it was just pack things. He had made a small dig about not having a home. Was that what he meant? We gave him a cabin. Was it not enough?

"You can tell me anything, Polly." I promised.

Green collided with green, and ever so slowly, the façade slipped. I stayed still and quiet, like I was watching a rabbit in the wild. One wrong move and he would run and close himself off.

"I..." He began before drifting.

I waited, so eagerly and so patiently. I noticed Phoenix staring at my twin rather intensely and sent him a sharp mental reminder to ease his gaze. The only acknowledgement of my message was the twitch of his wrist, fingers curling before dropping back onto the sofa.

"I want to leave."

My head reared back to my twin so fast, I was sure the tendons snapped.

"Leave?" I screeched.

My voice was too loud when I spoke, and Annabelle gurgled. We all tensed, holding our breaths as we awaited a wail. It was the hardest thing to do, my body burning with a thousand questions whilst forced to stay silent.

When she settled back to sleep, I lowered my voice to a harsh whisper.

"What do you mean by leave?" I wondered. "Leave the planet? My house? Being alive?"

He rolled his eyes, my twin so blasé. "Why would I want to leave the planet when it has so many good foods?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Pollux... Please elaborate."

He sighed. "Okay, okay. I just... I want to travel."

"Travel?" I wondered. "Where? Why?"

"Nova, that's a lot of questions in one go." Phoenix chuckled.

I pursed my lips. "I'm sorry, I'm just confused."

"Well, if you give me a minute, then I can explain."

I grinned apologetically. "Okay, from the top?"

Pollux chuckled. "I want to travel."

I nodded. "Where to?"

"Wherever my feet take me." He shrugged. "There are some territories and islands I never got to discover before I met you."

"How would you survive?"

"I have money, Nova." He mused. "Most of the time, I sleep in the forest in my fur."

"That's not safe." Phoenix interrupted.

"I agree. Sleeping in the woods is risky." I nodded.

"I will be fine. I have done it before." He grunted.

"Yeah, before everything that happened. You are family, Polly. I don't want anything bad to happen to you." I explained, pouting.

His lips curled slightly. "I know, I appreciate it, I do. I will stay in hostels where I can, but most of the time, I will avoid pack lands."

"And other creatures?" I probed. "Rogues and vampires will eat you alive."

"Well, they can try." He mused.

Silence enraptured us all, before I worked up the courage to ask the question burning on my tongue.

"What made you want to do this? Why now?" I asked.

He shrugged, dropping his gaze. "There are... some things that I want to do. Some places I want to go, things I need to discover..."

I noticed something else in his eyes, something else he was holding on to. I wanted to ask again, to see what he was hiding, but I couldn't. Pollux deserved his own privacy. He deserved to live a life he always wanted. Even if it meant moving far away from me.

Tears burned in my eyes, and I wiped them away with my palm. Phoenix's face fell with sympathy and Pollux groaned softly, closing his eyes.

"You will ring me every day?" I wondered.

"I don't have a mobile phone."

Waving my hand at my mate, I frowned. "Phoenix, give him a phone."

Phoenix chuckled softly. "Yes, your Majesty."

I grimaced at him but looked back at Pollux, who was smiling softly at me. "What?"

"I don't need pity." He shook his head.

"Pollux, it is a mobile. It's not like I'm going to send thousands to your bank card..." I drifted, avoiding eye contact.

That was exactly what I was going to do.

"Nova..." He sighed.

"Do you need anything else?" I continued. "A bag? A blanket?"

"Yes, but I can get those with my money."

I frowned. "How do you have this money?"

"It's called working the land." He grinned, raising his cup.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Like a sex worker?"

He spluttered over the rim, but I blinked innocently. "No! Fuck, no! Nova! Gardening, landscaping, labour!"

Cocking my head, I eyed his delicate hands. "You? Hard labour?"

He scowled and my mask slipped, a giggle slipping out. "Not hard. Just... helping the elderly."

I grinned, nodding as though I knew what his job would entail. I pegged Pollux as the house cleaner type, carrying groceries and dusting old ladies' homes.

"Anything you'd like to add, Phoenix?" I wondered, turning to him. "Or have I covered the basics?"

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight. My eyes automatically dropped to his crotch as he adjusted the groin of his shorts and an awkward blush coloured my cheeks when Pollux mumbled a protest.

"Nothing you haven't already covered."

"Phone calls, backpack, definitely no cash..."

"Nova..."

I grinned, batting my eyelashes. "Phe-Phe?"

"Pollux said he doesn't want money. He, therefore, doesn't need any." He smirked. "And a phone call a day is unnecessary."

I pouted. "But..."

"Every weekend, how about that?" Pollux suggested.

My eyes widened, the tears brimming again. "Only once a week?"

"Okay, okay!" Pollux tensed. "Wednesday and Saturday."

I shook my head. "I'm always tired Wednesdays. How about Thursday and Sunday?"

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. But if I am in a different time zone, don't blame me for waking you early on Sunday."

I grinned. "If it is you, Pollux, I will answer."

"You say that now, Nova. But you have become a log."

"A log?" I frowned.

"Yeah. Sleep-a-lot." He nodded.

My eyebrows creased with confusion, not understanding his weird words. Shaking my head, and moving on, I glanced at the clock. It was warm today, and I was grateful Phoenix had air conditioning built into the living quarters of the house.

"Any advice? Going away gifts?" I wondered. "A party?"

"I don't need a party." He shook his head. "I partied enough last night."

I giggled, remembering the alpha who had forced Pollux into a corner. "Oh, yeah, I am sure you had plenty of fun."

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you know?"

"I know nothing." I shook my head with a grin. "I just observed."

He groaned; eyes pinched closed. "I can't believe I did that."

"You obviously had a lot of emotion and built-up sexual tension." I teased.

"I'm not that kind of person. I just don't get it. I don't remember anything." He sighed.

"Charlie is a bad influence." I agreed.

Phoenix chuckled. "Charlie was on duty, but it is rare for Adradus to be so publicly involved. He was two drinks in, not enough for a wolf of his status."

Pollux's jaw tensed, and he looked away. "I remember nothing."

"I can get you his number, if you'd like?" Phoenix suggested. "There was obviously something there."

I nodded, agreeing quietly. Pollux pursed his lips, seeming to think it over before he shook his head.

"I have things to sort first. I need to sort myself out first before I drag anyone into it. Potentially or not." He shook his head and my shoulders fell at his disdain.

"Whatever you need, Polly." I murmured.

He smiled his thanks, finishing his tea and placing it on the coffee table. "Right, now we got all the soppy crap over with... Any last questions?"

I scrambled for things inside my mind, searching for questions.

"How are you going to protect yourself? Alone?"

"I have a wolf, Phoenix."

"That's besides the point." He shook his head. "I have never seen you fight."

"If it comes to life or death, trust me, I can fight." Pollux shook his head. "I prefer not to."

"Typical Lycan." I grinned.

"It's just... There are people who..." Phoenix drifted, as though he was going to say something important.

My head snapped towards him, confused. "There are what?"

He cleared his throat, and Pollux smirked at him. "Yeah, Phoenix, there are what?"

My mate awkwardly shifted, sitting more upright. I narrowed my eyes at him, immediately noticing his change in behaviour. Pollux seemed to know more than me, and that made me even more suspicious.

"What are you guys conspiring about?" I grumbled.

"Conspiring? Nothing." Phoenix shook his head.

"Then why does Pollux know more than me?"

"He doesn't-

"Phoenix." I growled softly.

He sighed. "There have been some... less than happy letters lately."

"Letters?" I wondered. "Why have I not seen these letters?"

"You were busy. I didn't want to add an extra problem on your shoulders."

"So, it's a problem letter?" I narrowed my eyes. "Phoenix..."

He sighed at my tone. "Okay, okay. For a while now, we have been receiving less than cheerful letters about our pack."

"Why?"

"For various reasons, some packs are not happy with how much power I hold."

I frowned. "You are not the king; I don't get it..."

"I may not be the king, but I could be." He shook his head. "Many are unhappy with how I willingly handed Alexandar the throne since I killed the previous king, and they believe he should've fought for it. They are not happy with his leadership, and some do not trust Theia."

"Theia is not a bad person." I murmured.

"You think that, but they don't."

I frowned, shoulders sagging. "What else? You speak like there is another reason."

"There are..." His eyes darted between the two of us. "Some think that having two lycan wolves in my pack is a threat."

I almost laughed. "A threat? Me and Pollux? A threat!"

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "You may be small in the wolf world, my love, but the both of you hold more power in your hands than most."

"Our blood." Pollux stated, and I looked at him. "We can heal wolves with a single vial, and you, Nova, can turn them."

I swallowed, suddenly growing nervous under his intense stare. I have never turned anybody; I wasn't sure if I could. I mean, Donovan and his creepy coup took my blood to turn vampires into wolves. Alessea claimed it worked, but I couldn't trust her one bit.

Because it will never end, Nova. You will always be a prize.

I shuddered, pushing past the haunting past. "That is just speculation... I have never turned anybody."

"And that is what I have been telling them." Phoenix stated. "It is the only way they have backed off."

"Backed off? In what way, Phoenix? Are they threatening the pack?"

"More than the pack, my love." His sad eyes drifted to the twins. "They think the twins are lycan too."

My heart stammered, veins burning with the sudden, undeniable rage that somebody threatened my children. I growled low, unintentionally glaring at my mate.

"They won't get to them." He promised, leaning forward. "I won't let anybody touch them."

"They would have to kill me first." I growled.

His eyes hardened. "It won't come to that."

"How can you be so sure?" I shook my head. "They made a threat, which they meant it won't be that easy for them to back off!"

"I am trying, my love."

"We don't even know if they are my blood or yours, or what!" I continued. "They are greedy, selfish, arseholes! Who is it? Who wants my children's blood?"

Phoenix sighed, moving to sit at my feet. He took my hands in his, thumbs smoothing over the tensed muscles. I was grumbling, staring down at him with agitation.

"They want you more than anything, Nova." He shook his head. "By threatening the twins, it gets to you. You need to understand nothing will happen."

That means they will go for the ones I loved. Again.

"You said the plane was safe and look what happened because of their greed." I countered. "You said going to Aldren's house last year was safe, and look what happened. They always want power, and it will never stop until all of them are dead."

He winced, remembering the state I had been in after dealing with Donovan. The plane too. I was just lucky to survive that. Somebody was looking after me there, being the most vulnerable. I just wasn't sure who. I thought perhaps Gaia, but she was with them, so how did I survive?

Shaking my head clear of the thoughts, I inhaled Phoenix's scent to calm my raging mind. He grunted, squeezing my hands until I opened my palms and let him hold them.

"Who else knows?" I sighed. "Are the pack aware of the threats?"

"Just Pollux and Charlie."

"Charlie knows?" I squeaked.

"Not willingly." He grunted.

Sneaky beta.

Phoenix rose to his knees before falling onto the sofa beside me. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me in close. Pollux was sitting quietly on the sofa, his lips pursed as he gazed at the ground. It was a crap load of information, and as though fate was against me, Freddy stirred in the bedroom.

Back to parenthood, I suppose.

Question of the day:
Oh look, polishing that teapot summoned a genie! What are your three wishes?