noun ~ the state of being away from a place or person

NOVA

I didn't have to wait long before Molly, Reya, and Rose were bustling into the garden room. Molly's squealing startled Belle awake, and I glared as Molly sheepishly curled around her daughter.

"Hi?" she squeaked.

"Hello." I hummed.

"How long was she down?"

"I can count the minutes on one hand."

"Shit, sorry." She sighed, sitting down beside me. "I'm sorry, Belle."

My daughter's crying ceased as she caught sight of Rose. Molly's expression softened as my daughter's blue eyes widened with delight, thinking it was for her. I didn't have the heart to tell her and thankfully didn't have to when Rose automatically reached down to the gurgling baby. Belle greedily grasped hold of her as Rose undid the seatbelt, clinging to her shit with a garbled conversation.

Molly was scowling now, eyeing Rose with a hint of jealousy. "Oh, I see how it is, Belle. I won't forget this."

I laughed softly, shaking my head. Freddy hadn't fallen asleep, but was content staring across at Reya. Molly turned her daughter around, letting the two of them peer down at each other.

"Wouldn't it be cool if our kids were mates?" She wondered.

I was about to nod, but then a sudden thought passed my mind. "Goddess, no! Leo is my brother."

"Not by blood!" She hurried.

Rose's light laughter drowned my disgusted sounds out, and I couldn't help but grin in return. Molly huffed, bouncing her daughter on her knee as she turned to face me fully.

"So, out with it. How many are we talking about?" She urged, eyeing me. "Two? Three? Wait, four?"

Rolling my eyes, I pulled the baby photos out of the pushchair's hood. I passed it to her without another word, watching as Rose peered over Molly's shoulder to have a look.

"One?" Rose wondered.

I nodded. "Just one."

Molly pouted. "Aw, I was hoping for more."

I laughed, flabbergasted. "You wish me to break my spine, don't you?"

She shrugged. "I love babies."

"You have one... two!"

"Yeah, but twins are so cute."

"They are hard work!" I huffed. "I'm lucky Phoenix is so attentive."

"Leo still moans when she has a dirty nappy." Molly pouted.

"Because Leo is a man-child." I snorted a laugh. "Soon he'll be elbows deep in poop!"

Molly grinned, nodding. "I can't believe we are pregnant at the same time again!"

"Weird coincidence."

"It's catching like a flu," Rose commented.

We laughed, and I watched as she sat with Belle in her arms. My daughter drifted off to sleep, and I was eternally grateful for Rose's magic touch.

"How's things with you and my brother?" Molly wondered.

"We're great, actually." She smiled softly.

I recognised the look in her eye. Not only was it one I found myself having at times, but I spotted it in the way all my other friends looked at each other. Even Calida looked like that when she thought about Charlie.

Love. Adoration. Hope. Contentment.

"Still no bite mark, though." Molly quipped.

I nudged her, muttering her name softly.

"What? We're besties. I can roast Rose if I want to." She huffed.

I forgot how loose-lipped Molly was when pregnant. It was like the baby grabbed hold of the muscles holding the filter to her brain open and wouldn't let it close.

"No, it's fine. Molly's right." Rose nodded. "I've been thinking about it... In all honesty."

This time, my eyes widened as I stared at Rose. This was a big deal.

"Wait, what?" Molly spluttered.

"Yeah." Rose smiled, glancing down at my daughter. "I mean, why am I even hesitating?"

"Because of a deep-rooted fear of rejection and men?" Molly cocked her head.

I lost all ability to scold her, too fixed on what Rose had said to acknowledge Molly's words.

This was big,

It may not seem big, but it was for Rose.

After being kidnapped, held against her will and raped multiple times whilst under capture, her trust was scarce. Sean was large and intimidating, and although we did not know the ins and outs of Rose's trauma, I knew it was a big step for her to admit this.

He held her claim. It was just time for her to have his. That meant teeth sinking into her skin, which was a whole new hurdle altogether. For her to submit to him so intimately, sharing their life force rather than just their body...

It took her months to even sleep with him.

"Wow, Rose." I inhaled, blinking back to reality. "You think you're ready?"

Her gaze softened as she met mine, but she nodded softly. I watched a blush rise on her cheeks and I let out the breath I was holding.

"We're here for you if you need support." I told her. "You know that, right?"

She nodded again. "I do. I can feel the love, guys. It's reciprocated. Don't worry."

We laughed, and I shifted to grab Freddy out of his pushchair. His hands curled around my hair and I tutted, removing it with a soft no.

"When do you think you'll tell him?" Molly asked.

"I don't know. I think if I plan it, it will go wrong."

"Why would it go wrong?" She frowned.

"I think putting that pressure on myself will make me too overwhelmed."

I nodded with understanding. "Good for you for holding your emotional wellbeing above everything else."

She thanked me softly. "At least there is one thing I know I can do without effort."

"What's that?" I wondered.

"Get your kids to sleep." She mused.

I grinned, nodding with enthusiasm. "That is true. You have a gift; I keep telling you."

"Even Reya sleeps when she is in your arms," Molly pointed out. "That's when you know you are gifted."

Rose grinned, giggling. "That is true."

The atmosphere was warm and comforting, but as the two of them talked about everything else, my eyes wandered. The arm-chair opposite me and beside Rose was empty, and my heart sank as I stared at the unused striped pillow.

Calida's chair.

She always clutched that pillow as she fell into fits and giggles, or threw it at us when we joked about her sex life. Now it lay there, untouched, with just a ghostly reminder of its use.

I didn't realise the room had grown quiet until Molly's hand curled around my thigh. I blinked, zoning back in on my friends.

"It's not your fault." Molly murmured.

I released the tension in my shoulders, not realising how closed off I had become as the sadness settled deeper into my gut.

"It just feels so empty without her." I frowned.

"It's a lot quieter." Molly joked, reading my face. "She's safe with Charlie."

"I wish they would've listened when I said to perform it in the cells. At least she'd be safe at home."

"But they didn't want that." She shook her head. "Charlie didn't want to confine her."

"She's gone." I whispered. "Risking her life."

"Calida doesn't know that," Rose added. "She lost herself to the wolf. She may never return. This... This is an undocumented event."

My shoulders sagged, agreeing with her. "What if she's gone forever?"

Molly eyed the two of us, shaking her head. "Quit it! If you guys keep moping, she will never come back! And when she does, and she will, I will be the first to tell her how depressed you got without her."

My lips twitched with humour. "She'd get a kick out of that."

"Sure would." Molly mused. "Now chin up. Because it's not the end of the world. She's alive, and that's all that matters. You can't look at the negatives, guys."

Molly was right. Usually it was Rose giving the advice, but even she had fallen into a moping mess without Calida. Calida was the one who brought Rose out of her shell more. They bonded over their past, and a sense of equal recognition formed between the two of them.

Calida's loss was significant, and I knew the shadow of her would forever cascade over my thoughts.

Our girl's brunch finished with sandwiches, fruit and even some cake, courtesy of the chefs. I knew that we would have to make a formal announcement soon enough, but the way the server's eyes lit up with delight told me most of the pack already knew.

Was I that pungent?

I didn't think it was that strong.

"It's not you." Molly murmured through a mouthful of red velvet. "It's Phoenix."

My eyebrows creased. "What's he done?"

"Nothing in particular." She wiped her mouth. "Just his nature. He's giddy, and a lot kinder. Leo noticed it, Sean noticed it, and I've had a couple people ask me why training was so easy."

I rolled my eyes, and a soft flutter lit up my stomach. "Trust him to out it before I got the chance."

"It's sweet." Rose insisted. "To have a mate like that is a great accomplishment."

"Especially one with his reputation." Molly added.

I hummed with agreement, and we finished the girl's brunch with hugs and whispered goodbyes. All three babies were asleep, and I curled the hood further down to protect the kids from the changing atmosphere.

My eyes locked onto Calida's chair as we left, and I chewed my lip as I eyed the pillow. Nobody was allowed into the penthouse suite; Phoenix wanted to preserve it in case she came back. He assured me there was no food left up there; that he had at least cleared that away before locking it down.

It upset me to think of the empty space. It upset me to think that the vacant promise of return may never be fulfilled.

I sighed, running my hands over the pillow as Rose opened the door wide enough for the pushchair.

And of course, my gift chose now as its moment to come to life, and as one door opened for me to leave, another opened for me to enter.

I didn't even have a moment to process the transfer into the other world, my bare feet curling into the grass beneath my feet. I frowned, eyeing the surrounding forest.

It seemed vaguely familiar.

I knew it was my home; my pack land. But it was something more than that...

It was dark, but the sky was shining with stars. There was a gentle fog drifting over my ankles, and a biting chill had my arms curl around my torso.

I was alone.

Nothing here could get me, so I may as well explore. Why else would I be here?

The cold was seeping into my bones the further I searched for an exit, the thin work-out clothes I wore doing nothing for my body temperature.

I followed the path and glanced up at the full moon in the sky. But then came the scream, the same one was before; so guttural and raw that my skin rose with goosebumps.

I knew that scream.

It was Calida.

I remember this vision now.

As my feet ran through the forest, her cries turned desperate. My stomach ached, fear shooting down my spine as I recalled this very vision from before.

Blood wafted through my nose as her cries turned silent, and the dread in my stomach intensified. Stumbling into a clearing, I watched as Charlie and Celimene cornered a wolf from before. My body tensed, realising that this vision had been Calida's untimely turning. I barely caught sight of the bloodied body of Calida before my world blurred and I landed somewhere else.

I was running, a nasty growl in my chest as my eyes locked onto its target. I was chasing a wolf, a wolf covered in blood. I was aching. With blood on my tongue and in my claws, I ran.

I did not know this wolf; its scent was unfamiliar and oddly, not too dreadful. It did not have a pack scent, so I just assumed it was a newly turned rogue.

Chasing it through the trees, I finally caught up to it by launching myself from a tree. We tumbled and fought before, finally, I had it pinned beneath my paws. Just as I went to sink my teeth into its throat, it submitted.

I internally cursed; now that happened, I couldn't kill it.

I barked a warning as I released the wolf, and its dark brown fur rippled as it rolled onto its front. It huffed, its lungs expanding raggedly through the wounds on its side.

I wondered who this was. Why had I fought them so badly? We were not on pack-land, and I was risking a lot to be out here.

So, who were they?

I should kill them, really. Nobody would know, and the burning hatred in my stomach told me to do so. My wolf was urging me, fuelled with a hatred and so deep and primal it shocked me.

The wolf suddenly shifted, fur turning to skin and bone. Blood poured, and I snapped my teeth in agitation. Shifting was the worst thing they should do!

Brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin splattered with brown freckles. He collapsed to the ground, landing on his knees with a soft groan.

Instant recognition flared within my gut, and my mind reared. Even as my wolf continued to growl and threaten him to move toward pack land, my vision-self didn't. I fell out of my wolf's body, watching as she chomped daringly in his direction.

What was happening? This had to be a future because I was in my fur and I couldn't shift right now.

Celimene nicked the back of the male's calf with her teeth, warning him to move faster.

It was his fault he shifted to his human form.

I watched them walk through the trees until their backs disappeared, and even then, I wondered why I was here. Why was I watching my wolf escort him back to pack land? What had he done that caused such a raw anger in my beast?

What had Kasper done?

My eyes wandered, glancing up at the sky as the dark clouds took over. My vision distorted, and I sighed with satisfaction as I accepted the change. Dropping my gaze back to level ground, I startled when I found a pair of eyes staring back at me.

Mere feet away in the trees was a woman. I didn't know her, and I was certain she did not know me. Not personally, at least.

Her eyes were hard, but they flickered with recognition as we made eye contact. The softest twitch of surprise flared up in her temple, but then her brown, almond eyes and purplish hair blurred with my change. And just as my vision ended, I whispered her name in confusion.

"Selma?"