Summer in Calgary is short and unpredictable.

There was one time it rained so hard feeling ko, nadaya ako.

Maikli na nga, mas marami pang araw na maulan kesa maaraw.

But this summer is different.

Bukod kasi sa mainit, I have Emerald to spend it with.

After spending the night sa bahay, we exchanged phone numbers.

Malimit kaming lumabas for coffee or to watch movies.

Pati si Vanessa, napansin na lagi akong nakangiti at masaya kapag dumarating sa trabaho.

Kahit medyo nagtampo siya sakin dahil sa ginawa kong pagtakas during the bachelorette party, happy naman daw siya na makita na masaya ako.

She asked if I was dating someone.

I said no.

"No?" Nasa clinic kaming dalawa.

Naputol ang usapan namin dahil may dumating na pasyente at kailangan niyang icheck-in.

"We're just hanging out." Matalinhagang sagot ko.

"You don't look like you're just hanging out. Eh ilang linggo ng nakaplaster ang ngiti diyan sa mukha mo eh. Isa pa, lagi mo akong dinadalhan ng muffins and cupcakes. I know for sure you don't bake. Isa pa, hindi lasang store-bought ang mga muffins na iyon."

"May pagkakaiba ba ang lasa ng homemade sa store-bought muffins?" Kinuha ko sa printer ang prescription request ng isang pasyente.

"You're changing the subject."

"Basta. Let's just say I'm in a good place right now. Huwag ka ng makulit dahil baka maudlot pa."

I think I spoke too soon when I told Vanessa na huwag niya akong kulitin.

Nasa office ako one afternoon ng mag-ring ang cellphone ko.

I saw the word green at mabilis na sinagot ang tawag habang nagtatago papasok sa maliit na room sa likod ng reception.

Bawal ang personal calls during work.

For some reason, I felt like I had to answer this one.

"Hi." Mabilis na bati ko kay Emerald.

"Hello!" High-pitched ang boses niya.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I just want to ask if you're free after work. I'm here at Chinook Mall. Do you want to see a movie or shop or how about dinner? Dinner sounds good. I feel like having a steak. There's a restaurant here called State & Main. Have you heard of it? We can go there. Oh! There's also a sale going on at Lululemon. You know that shop right? They sell workout clothes and shit like that. It's very popular at the gym. But I hear it's pricey." Mabilis ang pagsasalita niya at hindi ako agad makasunod sa kanyang train of thought.

The warning bells in my head went off.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I told you I'm okay. Why do you keep asking? So, do you want to have dinner with me? If you don't want steak, we can have Japanese? Do you like sushi?"

Highly excitable and irritable din si Emerald.

Not a good sign.

"I'll be off in half an hour. How about I meet you there and decide after?"

"Sure. No problem. Oh! I think there's something going on at The Apple Store. There's a long line of people waiting for something. Text me when you get here. I'll let you know where I am."

"Okay. See you later then."

"Yup. See you later."

Binaba niya agad ang phone.

Pagbalik sa reception, Vanessa was already there talking to an elderly lady.

She glared at me.

I silently mouthed the word sorry.

Hindi na ako napakali after my conversation with Emerald.

Something is totally off.

For one, hindi siya makapagfocus on only one topic at ang bilis-bilis niya magsalita na parang merong humahabol sa kanya.

Pagdating ng four 0' clock, nagpaalam na ako kay Vanessa para sundan si Emerald sa mall.

Nagkita kami sa Lego store.

She had two plastic bags of Lego boxes.

"Hi." Natutuwang hinalikan niya ako sa pisngi.

Nagulat ako and my lips landed close to her lips instead of her cheek.

She didn't seem to mind.

"Gutom ka na?"

"Hindi pa naman. Ikaw?"

"I'm still okay."

I offered to carry one of the Lego bags.

The box had Star Wars written in the front.

Bubuuin niya yata ang Star Wars galaxy.

"Let's go to Lululemon. I saw this duffel bag. I think it will look perfect for the gym."

"Do you have a gym membership?"

"Well," Natigilan siya sa tanong ko, "It expired last year but I can renew it anytime."

"Why are you getting a gym bag now? Why not renew your membership first?"

"Why are you asking me so many questions?"

"I'm just wondering that's all."

Kita ko sa mukha niya ang pagkairita.

"Why don't we sit down first so we can talk?"

Niyaya ko siya sa bench at umupo kaming dalawa.

"What's really going on?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Are you manic?"

"Fuck you!" Napatingin ang dalawang babaeng teenager na napadaan sa tapat namin.

"I will let it slide for now." Nagpipigil na sabi ko sa kanya.

"You sound just like Dean."

"I assume he was the guy you're with when I saw you at the clinic."

"Yes. He's my ex. I don't like that you're acting like him."

"You're unfairly judging me."

"I'm not. Whenever I'm in a happy mood, he would ask the same question and it's irritating."

"But are you manic?" Inulit ko ulit.

Bumagsak ang balikat niya.

"I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't want to admit it."

Umisod ako ng konti sa pwesto niya hanggang sa gadaliri na lang ang pagitan ng hita namin sa isa't-isa.

Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay.

Hindi naman siya pumalag.

"Look, I'm only asking not because I want to know you more."

Kumunot ang noo niya.

Lalo kong hinigpitan ang hawak sa mga kamay niya.

"I want to understand you better." Ngumiti ako.

"The only way for me to do that is to ask you questions without judgment."

"Are you asking me without judgment?"

"Oo naman. I don't know a lot about bipolar disorder. I read about it in books but it's not enough."

"You're reading about bipolar?"

Tumango ako.

"When you mentioned it, I was intrigued so I borrowed books from the library to help me know more about it."

"Why did you do that?"

"Kasi, bukod sa limited lang ang alam ko, gusto kong maintindihan kung ano ang nararamdaman mo. I want to be able to talk to you without making you feel like I'm judging you for what you're going through. I guess I don't want to make a mistake?"

"You are so adorable right now." Ngumiti na siya at nagblush ako.

"Why do you want to understand me?"

"Isn't that what friends do?"

"Are we friends?"

"Right now, we are. I hope." Nahihiyang sabi ko.

"Does it mean you want us to be more than friends?"

"I don't know if you're into women. Besides, I don't want to assume then break my heart in the end."

"I've been with women before. Although, it really didn't last long because I like men more. Then."

"This is news to me." Todo na ang ngiti ko.

"Aren't you afraid of me? Shouldn't you run for the hills? What I have isn't easy?"

"I guess I should run eh? While I still can." Pabirong sabi ko.

"Why don't you? You won't be the first person to leave once they find out how unpredictable and unreliable I am. How much of a downer I can be when I have depressive episodes. How difficult it is to handle my mood swings when I'm manic."

"I want to stay." Pinisil ko ang kamay niya.

"What if you regret it?"

"Why don't we take it one step at a time? I want to know you more and I hope you feel the same about me. If I find out I don't like you, then I'll ghost you." Hinablot niya ang isang kamay at hinataw ako sa braso.

"Ow!" Tatawa-tawa ako habang hinihimas ang braso na hindi naman masyadong nasaktan.

"You're going to ghost me? Did you really just say that to me?"

"Of course I'm not going to do that. I'm just joking." Pagtatanggol ko.

"Besides, I'm not that type of person."

"What type of person are you?"

"I guess you'll find out." Kinindatan ko siya.

"Now, what about that dinner?" Paalala ko sa kanya.

"Okay." Tumayo na siya at binitbit ang plastic bags ng mga pinamili niya.

Inangkla ni Emerald ang braso niya sa braso ko.

"What do you want to eat? Do you still feel like having steak?"

"No. Not really."

"What about pasta? There's Boston Pizza in here." Mungkahi ko.

"Sure. Pasta sounds good."

Nakakapit pa rin siya sa braso ko on our way to Boston Pizza.

She ordered Fettuccini Primavera  at umorder naman ako ng Parmesan Shrimp Alfredo.

We also shared a medium-sized Royal Hawaiian Pizza.

Gusto sanang umorder ni Emerald ng Long Island Iced Tea but she decided not to.

"At my state, I should stay away from alcohol." Sabi niya.

We ordered bottomless iced tea instead.

She was still talking fast but as the time wore on, I noticed a decline in her energy.

Kahit pa puro carbs ang kinain namin, it didn't elevate her mood.

Pinabalot namin ang natirang food and I offered to give her a ride home.

Pagsakay namin sa aking trusty three-year old blue Toyota RAV4, tahimik na sumandal si Emerald sa passenger seat.

"Is everything okay?" Tanong ko habang sinusuot ang seatbelt.

"I'm crashing."

"Let's get you home then."