2 years 6 months before to today
Special side of love feelings

Anshikha's POV

My biggest nightmare...my life change...I have to left my parents... because now they hate me!!..
But why??...why it's happened to me??..
Why God why???
I didn't want to live...I just want to die..

I've tried it once...but that call save me..
Pihu... .she save me
If she didn't called me I just take all those sleeping pills..

I'm so depressed....so alone..
Dadi is always by my side but I want mom and dad...
I want to say mom that it all happened so fast... that I don't understand...i just shocked too... what's happen l....but she thinks.... I did it intentionally..

No I don't think now mom trust me...she Saw me... it's all misunderstanding..how she even think it...how???I want to say all....but...

Maybe she Knows all...but she hate me..
Because for my mistakes he died..my brother died because of me..Raghav Bhai died because of me....

My dad also didn't talk to me...he just in my mom side... did he also think??

I'm feeling so lonely.. alone...

Me and Dadi Left Dehradun

Pihu and her dad also Left.

We shift in Mumbai..

Pihu's dad didn't know so much... just that she wants to stay by me side...

She knows me...she knows the guilt in me.. it's killing me...she never left my side.. She's is like my sister..

She also suffer so much..I know but she support me...her life also effect to this incident....
But we didn't tell anything to anyone about it..the truth r untold till now..

It's one of the reasons we Left Dehradun because we want to forget everything..

It's 4 months gone...this incident...but it's like yesterday..me and my brother argue and suddenly....

I'm taking some anti depression pills...
For those nightmare..
It's comes when I'm close my eyes..

I want to back time and fix all this...but it's impossible..

Today Dadi said to me to go orphanage about the donation...

I'm done all work.. when I'm leaving..
I hear a sound..
It's song..
Someone singing..

I don't know...but it's touch my heart..
Unknowingly i smile..

I'm smiling.. it's happened after 4 months..
Well my smile Lost 6 months ago... when all those started..

I want to forget...and that's sounds... it's something...I just follow the sound..

A boy is singing...all kids are around him..

I'm just staring at him..
I'm hiding in behind the pillars..

I just lost in his songs....
His eyes..
His lips..

He's the most beautiful face...most innocent...most loving..

I'm just gazing at him..

What happened to me???...I could no trust another wrong person..

My thoughts breaks when he stops singing..

He's in white shirt, Black jeans his hair, his smile..his brown eyes..

All just attract me..

I saw him leaving... after that I come orphanage many times for him...but Maybe my bad luck..

The kids said he's coming once in month..

Dadi decide st. Xaviers College for me..

Pihu also admit here..

We're in same subject combination..

I didn't interest for it...not because I don't like study... because I'm just want to stay alone..stay far from people..

But pihu said she's with me don't worry..

Well yes...I really trust her...
Or maybe my life will change..

We're already late admission..

The first day of college... it's boaring..
Pihu always with me...but I'm not feeling well...
But then I saw him...the boy I saw in orphanage..

I don't know his name...
But in college he looks different...he act different...maybe it's acting for all people..
Like me...
I said pihu that's is the boy..
I said before her.. when I saw him orphanage..

Only he's thought can make me smile..

Pihu teasing me about him...but it never happens I know...

It's been one week I admire him in college...his name Rishi... Rishi Malhotra

I don't know what's wrong but maybe I fall in love with him..

This stupid heart...and he's don't know about me.... infact he didn't know my name...for him I'm not exists

He's different in college and different in orphanage..

Yes I follow him..but he never Knows it..

I'm never planned to say him that I love him...

I'm scared for my heart breaks again..

I gave him.. gifts..

I don't know what comes in my mind but I did..

Watch... Rose... cards... that showpeace..

That's showpeace is my last gift for him..

I Saw him smiling to admire my gifts..
That's all for me.. that's enough for me..

I'm happy for it... pihu knows all...she said a big crush...
She knows about my feeling..
She said Me...go and confess...but no.. I'm not mad..
He's the college's hot boy...all girls always around him.. infact he's always with his girlfriend's...and I'm...

I don't like it...but I didn't react.. I'm jealous all those girls..

It's been the time of second year...
Rishi never tries to know who's that his secret admirer... maybe he didn't care...but he likes my gifts that enough for me..

The day when I gave him that showpeace..
The shop Kipper say it's really lucky for love birds.
I smiles.... because it's never gonna be happen..

But I don't know what came in mind..I decide to say him.. about me.. I'm tired to watch him with someone else..

Then I heard there talking..
He and his friends saying..

Rishi : this is all shit yarr..
Kabir : com'on I think she likes you..
Rishi : who?? And u know what if she's really hot..I really want her in...-
Kabir : ok.. stop..I know ur desires..

They laugh

That's all... they're talking about me... that's showpeace in his hand..

They're making fun for my feelings..

It's like the truth..I thought he's not that person he's behaving in front of all..

It's all my illution...
I love the wrong person..

I left from there...
I didn't go college two days...I just want to leave alone... Pihu really angry to hear all this...she hate him...but me...I can't..

After that I leave him alone..

All Time when I saw with someone...I feel sad not because he's with someone .. because he hurt all girls feeling...he just a play boy...
I'm so naive... that I didn't understand it...3rd mistake..
First... That's bloody pycho Arav..the biggest nightmare..
Second...my brother Dead
Third... Rishi..

The second year I totally try to ignore him..but u can't..

And that day when he suddenly kiss me for that stupid bet... I'm really hate him..

He's jerk..
well I'm happy for pihu and Sid...I can't believe Sid Rishi's friend... pihu move on...but my loneliness always with me..

It's really awkward why Rishi comes in my life when finally I except...that we're not for each other.. friends... it's our New relations..

But I try hard to ignore him...but he always around me...

The day when he said for act his girlfriend... I'm angry...but I said Yes..

That's stupid heart... who's want to stay near him..

I don't know what happens...I kissed him on valentine day... it's my mistakes I know..

The day when he save me from accident... that's day I'm really depressed... it's the day when my brother died..

Maybe I want Rishi always my side...

He act like he really loves me... when he says he loves me in phone..I know it's all are game..but why I'm feeling something else...

Well I Saw that showpeace in his room I asked him...but didn't show any expression..

He's answer is weird..

He is weird..but I love him..

I'm Fall in Love with him again..

But finally it's happened...we love each other...I want to say him every thing.. everything about my past...
And how much I love him..
I love you Rishi...I love you FOREVER..
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Sorry for all grammatical mistakes
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