"Not Strong Enough" by Apocalyptica featuring Brent Smith

"Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away..."

Henry didn't return home for the weekend and it didn't surprise me. Even though I thought he would take some time away from work to see Nana at least, I was wrong.

I sulked all day Saturday and Sunday in the house-going through all the things that has happened between us lately, wondering if I should throw away my pride and visit him, and debating whether to attend the anniversary next week or not.

By the way, Henry hadn't even mention anything about the anniversary to me. He never invited or even asked me if I wanted to go. I convinced myself it was better if I didn't because there were going to be people there who I wasn't exactly on good terms with.

Maybe it was a good idea to stay behind at the house or find something else to do that day.

"Good morning, Ally," Patty greeted me as I strolled through the Horizon doors on a beautiful Monday morning.

I assumed her assistant would be following closely to her, but it was surprising she wasn't with Patty today. "Morning, Patty."

"How are you these days? I haven't had time to talk with you at all."

"I'm doing good. How are you, Patty?"

Her face turned tense, but in a humorous way. "Very busy. I wished I could just take a moment and stopped everything that is happening around me for just a minute."

I laughed at her words and entirely agreed with her-I needed that same moment as well.

A beam popped onto her face, showcasing the wrinkles by her eyes. "Would you like to grab some coffee this morning together, dear? I have a few minutes before my next conference call and I'd like to catch up with you."

"Sure, I love to."

We ordered coffee at the café and located an empty table by the window where the sun streamed in, lighting up the room with a vibrant ambience.

"Ally, great job on your marketing plan last week. I apologized I didn't have a chance to attend the board meeting, but Nick told me about it the other day. He was very impressed with you and how far you come along here at Horizon."

"Thank you! I'm glad to hear that, Patty. But Nick might be over exaggerating it a bit." I tore a sugar packet and poured the contents into the cup, stirring the black coffee with my straw.

"I believe that boy. He knows talent when he sees it," she proclaimed with no sense of doubt apparent in her voice. "Anyways, I hear Cavill Group is celebrating Pearce Hotel's seventy-fifth anniversary later this Friday. Henry must be super occupy at work lately?"

Both my hands held the coffee cup, soaking in its warmth. "Yes, he is. He hardly is home and stays late at the office because of it. You know Henry-as Nana says, he's very determined when it comes to work. Will you be able to make it?"

I carefully sipped on my hot coffee.

"Unfortunately, I won't be," she replied, putting on a frown. "But Nick will be at the event for sure to represent Horizon. The company just opened a location in Sydney a few weeks ago and I have to be present. I'm flying down there later in the week to check in on how the business startup is going so far. I'll be away for a month before I fly back into Chicago."

"That's great news for Horizon."

"Yes, it really is! We haven't issued a press release to the public yet, so please keep it quiet on the low."

I nodded, comprehending her request. "Sydney, Australia-that is very far from here."

"Horizon wanted to open an office there for many years but haven't had the chance due to regulations and how the market was at the time. Now, after obtaining approval and funding from the board, we were able to make it a reality."

"I'm really happy for you and the company."

"You know, Ally, if you ever wanted an opportunity to work abroad, let me know. We have many locations around the globe. You just choose your pick. I do know for certain we have some positions open in our Sydney office, only if you're interested, that is."

"It sounds wonderful. It would be nice to be somewhere else other than Chicago for a change."

"It will be an extraordinary opportunity for you. Although I think Henry will probably dislike the idea very much of being away from you. Or maybe he could come with you?" The wrinkles on her eyes crinkled as she smiled even more.

"I don't know. Maybe he'll be happy to be away from me for once. I think I bring him too much trouble."

"Absolutely not."

I grinned, concealing the pain inside. The thought of being away-all the way around the globe-from Henry hurt very much, and more was the idea that we might not be together long.

After work, I proceeded over to Pearce Hotel, but on my way, my eyes were covertly on the lookout for the woman. Luckily, she was nowhere to be found today. She probably didn't come after how I ran from her the other night.

Even though I felt a little liberated, I couldn't help but also feel somewhat disappointed and frustrated with myself from avoiding her.

She probably really wanted to see me for some important reason.

As I stepped off the elevator to Henry's floor, his receptionist informed me he was in the conference rooms and I rode the elevator back down to the first floor.

I found him in the main conference room, pacing around the tables by the stage. Many people walked up to him after another with questions and he pointed them away with answers.

His eyes moved towards the doors and I quickly hid my face behind the wall. I hoped he hadn't seen me.

I slowly peered into the room and he was no longer looking my way, but towards the stage. I attentively watched him from the door, my eyes moving to wherever he went. He wore no jacket or tie. His white-collar shirt was undone and from the dull color of his face, he appeared to be exhausted.

Has he eaten anything? Has he even rested?

I wanted to go inside and talk to him-so badly, but I refrained myself from doing so. I didn't have the courage to face him or know what I would say to him and it would be awkward if I just barged in on him when he seemed to be very preoccupy at the moment.

"Will you not go in to see Mr. Cavill, Mrs. Cavill?" Katherine's voice, the hotel's operation manager, came from behind.

I whirled around to face her. "No, I'm fine here. Henry is pretty busy right now and I don't want to intrude. I'll come back later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive," I said as I turn to leave, but stopped. "Katherine, don't tell him I was here today, okay?"

"Okay, I won't," she said, a little confused at my request.

I glanced back again at Henry one more time-he still hasn't notice me-before spinning around and walking away out the doors.

Upon my return to the car, my eyes laid sight onto the woman I was looking out for earlier.

With my heart racing, I quickly climbed the parking ramp stairs to my car. Once I unlocked it, I got into it as fast as I could, sticking the key in and igniting the engine to life.

I drove speedily out of Horizon's parking ramp, passing her down the sidewalk, her eyes following my car.

I glanced at the rear-view mirror and saw her figure getting smaller and smaller away where she stood sorrowfully. My eyes swelled with water, but I held them back from falling down to my cheeks.

If I cried out now, it would only show my vulnerability to the people that hurt me.

If I cried out, it would open an endless dam-I know it.

I couldn't be weak.

But was I being a coward-running away from who could possibly be my own blood mother?

After all this time, why now? Where had she been all these years and only choose to show up now?

I deliberated the question over and over again, trying to come up with an answer. Was it because she knew who the man I was married to-that I had money, lived in a big house, possessed all the luxury one could ever dream of attaining?

I drove so fast on the highway to Henry's house without thinking. The dashboard speedometer cruised above the speed limit by fifteen or twenty and I didn't realize until I was passing every car around me.

Once I returned, I rushed inside with my heart still racing, afraid she might discover where I lived now and show up on the doorstep unexpectedly like she did at my workplace.

"Ally, sweetie, why are you so flustered?" Nana's voice surprised me from at the entrance and I jumped around with wide eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I scare you? I didn't mean to."

"No, you didn't Nana. Don't worry about it," I said breathlessly as I paced inside after locking the doors. "It's nothing. I was just in a rush to get home today. That's all."

"Alright, dear, let me carry your things then," she offered and I gladly handed her my bag. "Henry hasn't returned yet, has he?" she said as we walked up the stairs.

"No, he hasn't yet. He's pretty busy with work and the anniversary coming up this weekend when I met him earlier at his office."

"Hopefully after the anniversary is over, you and him can take a long vacation together."

"Nana, it's okay. We just got back from a trip the other day." I entered Henry's bedroom as she followed me.

"I know, dear, but that was only over the weekend for two days. You two need to go for at least a month or at least more than a week."

I set my purse down on the dresser chair. "Nana, don't worry. I'll talk to Henry about the trip then, okay?"

She smiled.

"Are you going to be at the anniversary as well?" I asked.

"No, I probably will not be." She set my work bag on the dress counter. "I don't enjoy those events very much with all the small talk and dressing up. I'm better just at home. But you'll be there to support Henry, right?"

I compliantly nodded. "Yes, of course, I'll be there for sure."

I couldn't let slip to Nana that I didn't plan on attending nor did Henry even asked me to. But now I guessed I have to go from her request. It would be bad publicity if the daughter-in-law of Cavill Group didn't show up to the important event. Would it?

"Wash up and come down for dinner then. I made your favorite dish tonight again."

"Okay, I'll be down in a moment."

.....

Adam and Lily picked me up after work Wednesday evening and we headed over to the Magnificent Miles shops.

After inviting them to Pearce Hotel's anniversary the other day when I bought their cars, they both expressed the need to find new outfits to wear. They were super enthusiastic about attending their first high social event-from how Adam was putting it.

Unlike me, my friends would fit this society well. They were both extroverts, loved talking to people, and the high-fashioned lifestyles.

I sat on a white, comfortable chair in the middle of the fitting room, admiring my two friends try out the outfits, one another after another in Hugo Boss. I offered my opinions on a few good matches for them, but nothing seemed good enough for them to wear to the event.

Adam was the first one to find his outfit-a white tuxedo with a black bow.

After her twentieth dress, Lily stepped out of the fitting room in a chick, red chiffon dress. The fabric flowed all the way to her toes, showcasing her gorgeous figure.

"If that's not the one, I don't know which one will grabbed your heart now, Peaches." I stood up and padded over to her as she twisted and spun in front of the mirrors, checking out the dress from all angles.

"I like that one on you," a voice spoke from behind us.

We all turned around and peering from the doorway of the women's fitting room was Nick, a charming smile manifesting on his face. I could see Lily's cheeks flushing from the unanticipated compliment as she tried to suppress a smile back.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" I asked.

He lifted the bags in his hand. "I'm shopping. What does it look like?"

"Really?" I joked back. Nick didn't look like the guy to shop for anybody. Maybe hire one of his assistants to shop in his place, but not him.

"How did you know we were here?" Adam asked him.

"I heard voices that sounded like you guys so I thought I'd come check it out and thankfully, it was you three," he said with that dimple on his cheek visible. "Adam, Lily, I'm going to borrow your Ally for a bit, is that okay with you too?"

They both nodded their heads.

"Sure, but you better returned her," Adam joked.

"Absolutely." Nick beamed.

I grabbed my wallet from the chair and strode to where Nick stood. "Let's go. I'll be right back. Okay, you two?" I skimmed over two my friends who nodded again.

"I need your help," Nick said once we were out of their sight.

"What kind of help?" I said curiously as we strolled down the sidewalk of stores in the Magnificent Mile.

He cheerfully grinned. "I need your help picking out a gift."

A few minutes later, we arrived at the jewelry store, Cartier. As we entered, Nick headed straight to the earring sections, obviously knowing what he was here to buy-or maybe he was here earlier.

"Earrings?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes-earrings. I need your help finding a pair today."

"For?"

"Someone."

"Someone as in a special someone?" I teased him.

"Just someone special," he said again shyly. Nick never behaved shy in front of me and it made me curious. Who was this person he couldn't disclose about? But I knew better than to pry the secret from him.

"Good evening, what brings you two in today?" the woman behind the counter asked us warmly.

"I'd like to look at your selection of diamond earrings," Nick responded, sitting down at the counter.

"I can gladly assist you. And what kind of style does your girlfriend-"

"Ally is only a good friend. Plus, she's taken already," he politely corrected her.

She smiled, realizing her error. "I apologize. I spoke too soon. And who will these earrings be for?"

"Someone special," Nick responded and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"What kind of person is she?" the woman continued.

"She's very outgoing, down-to-earth, and independent. She loves traveling and learning about new things..." He rambled so many details about his special someone-I could tell he must be very infatuated with her. She must be one very lucky lady.

The woman brought out a few selections from the jewelry glass displays-princess, cushion, heart, pear, radiant, emerald, asscher, and more styles. Nick inspected all the earrings closely, but couldn't make up his mind-just like Adam and Lily earlier on their outfits.

I saw a beautiful, sparkly silver pair behind the glass and asked the lady to take it out from the display.

Nick received the earrings from the saleswoman, observing in from all angles. He held it up to my ears and narrowed his eyes.

"This is the one," he finally spoke, turning over to me. "Thank you, Ally."

I gleamed, feeling proud of myself. "Your welcome."

As we exit the store after Nick paid for the earrings, a group of ladies walked in from the outside and immediately I recognized one of them as Victoria with her mocking hawk eyes.

"Good evening, ladies," Nick greeted them as they entered.

A few of the ladies smiled as they checked us out.

"Good evening, Victoria," I grimaced. "It's a lovely sight to see you. This world is too small for the both of us, don't you think?"

"Evening, Ally. It certainly is," she blurted out. "Shouldn't you be with Henry helping out with the anniversary later this week?" Her eyes skimmed over to Nick and the small bag in his hands, a smirk spreading on her face.

"He has everything taken care of already. He doesn't need my help. Anyways, Nick and I best be off. Time is money and gold, right? Good night." I turned on my heels and removed myself from the situation before Victoria could uttered another word.

Nick and I met up with my friends in Marshalls and after dinner at the Grand Lux Cafe, Nick offered to drop me at my car as he needed to return to Horizon for a late meeting.

When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Henry's car parked in front of the house, but as I peered up at the lights in his room, they were turned off.

Henry couldn't be asleep yet. He must be working in his office or somewhere else in the house then.

I flipped the lights on in the bedroom and spotted him resting his back onto the couch, one leg crossed over the other as if he was in deep thought. His attention flicked to me, but he didn't say anything-he only stared in perilous silence.

I sensed trouble.

From reading his body behavior, he appeared to be in a bad mood so I didn't want to say anything to him either. I pretended he wasn't there, pushing him out of my sight, and made my way into the closet to placed my bags away.

"Have you forgotten that you have a husband?"

"How could I forget? I remembered it, every second of every moment." I jumped around and he stood right front of me in dangerous proximity.

"It doesn't seem that way tonight," he uttered callously.

"Let's talk another time. It doesn't look like you're in a good mood tonight." I stepped off to the side to passed him.

Henry directly reached for my arm and yanked me back into the closet, closing the door as he trapped me in there with him.

I stepped back from him towards the shelves. "Henry, what are you doing?"

"Ally, I want to talk with you. Can you give me like five minutes of your time?"

"Why? Why would you want to talk to me? You obviously didn't want to these past days. What's so important that you need to speak with me right now?"

"Can I ask where were you tonight?"

I scoffed, moving my gaze towards the wall. "I went shopping with my friends."

"Is that the truth?"

"That's the truth. I went out with Adam and Lily."

"Really?" Henry knew more than I thought he did.

"You want me to tell you then. Alright." I exhaled, comprehending where this conversation was leading towards. "Nick-he was there as well. Is that what you wanted to hear then?" I challenged his glare as he gazed back, his eyes becoming hostile by the seconds. "If you believe other people's words than you do your wife's, then I can't help it."

His grip clamped tighter onto my one wrist as his other arm snaked around my hips, colliding our bodies together. "Did a few gifts from him change your mind that easily?"

"We're really going to do this now?" I threatened. "Fine then-I'm a woman. I have needs too. I want a man who is actually a real gentleman, unlike you."

"What?"

"Here is the truth-I love Nick now. Is that what you want to hear? I don't love you anymore. I love-"

He leaned in fast, crashing his lips onto my mouth as my one free hand beat at his chest, trying to flung him off. Confusion and pain rose in me as his wet lips assaulted mine over and over again.

I hated when Henry did this. I hated it when he used physical force to get his way.

With all my strength, I managed to throw him off me and break free for a moment. I rushed out of the closet, but he caught up to me in little time, hauling my weight in his arms.

Still holding onto me, he dropped us both down on the bed. He mounted on top of me at my hips and as I writhed under his restraint, he captured both my wrists with his hands, pressing them deep into the surface of the bed.

My struggling halted. I didn't want to look at him right now. If he wanted to do it, then just let it be over with already.

I was sick and tired of this vicious, repetitive game. "Do it then, Henry. Just do it!"

"You don't love me! Why should I be warm and gentle to you?!"

I hastily reverted my glance back to his dark eyes. "Then have you ever loved me?!"

"I have!"