Chapter song: 7 Rings by Ariana Grande

"Adam, what are you doing there? Come on," I called out to my dumbfounded friend.

Adam paced around the red Porsche, checking out its front to back while the valet attendant waited patiently. Admiration and excitement filled his eyes just like when I picked up him earlier.

"Ally, I can't - I just - I can't believe it," Adam gawked, giving me the biggest grin I had ever seen from him. "You are one lucky girl. That's all I have to say. I wish I was in your place."

"You sure about that?" I laughed.

"Oh, hell yeah. Now, the question is, when can I take it for a spin, my friend?"

I laughed at my him again. "Anytime you want. How about after we shop?"

Adam ran up to me with his arms held wide, pulled me in for a hug, and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "Thank you, sweet Ally! I love you so much! You're the best!" he said, pinching my cheek. He finally let me free after a few seconds.

"Let's go shopping now," I said. "Your task is to help me today since Lily isn't here. I'm bored of my old style and need to find some new outfits."

"Girlfriend will be back soon. She's probably eloping with some guy abroad. But wait, Ally!" Adam stopped in his tracks.

I turned around. "What?"

"You never shop for clothes, and now all of a sudden, you're asking for help?"

"Yes, and?"

Adam crossed his arms. "I just can't wrap my head around it. What have you done to my Ally?"

I walked to his side, slipping my arm through his. "Adam, it's still me. Your same old Ally. You know, I'm just living with Henry now. I need to be more attentive to how I dress and appear."

"That's true. I didn't think of that. Well," he said, changing his tone, "that does call for some drastic wardrobe change. You betcha girl I'm going to help you today."

The first store Adam and I decided to hit in the Magnificent Mile was Louis Vuitton.

Once we walked through the door, a lady with a fitted knee-length black dress and hair tied back into a slick bun, greeted us and offered us assistance. She guided us around the store, showing us the new arrivals and advised what was in trend.

If it was like before, the atmosphere, people, and price tags would unnerve me, but now, I wasn't one bit afraid. I knew what I wanted, and I wouldn't stop at anything to get it. Excitement coursed through me as I thought about all of the fun I was going to have today.

Adam and I checked out their selection of sunglasses, trying out each and every one. Then we moved on to the shoes.

"Ally, I think you need this one," Adam said, holding a pair of suede Bordeaux heels. They were beautiful. It was definitely a statement piece.

"I'll take this pair," I said to the assistant, pointing to the shoes. "And also the black ones as well. Wait, I'll just take all the colors you have."

She nodded quickly with a bright smile and went to the back.

"Ally, you're getting all the colors?" Adam asked.

"Yes, I love them all. How about you? You haven't picked anything yet?"

"No, it's okay," Adam said, scanning the store quickly. "I'm good for today. Today is your day, not mine."

"No, you need something." I padded over to the men's shoe section on the other side. I noticed a shiny black leather loafer and handed it out to Adam. "How about this one? I think it suits you very well."

Adam took the shoe, surveying it from front to back just like the Porsche. "It looks pretty nice... but -"

"We'll take all the colors in a size 10," I said, handing the shoe to the assistant who came back just in time with my boxes.

Adam's eyes opened wide. "Ally, what are you doing?" he said through gritted teeth silently to me.

"I'm buying these for you. Why else would we be shopping? Just consider it as your payment for helping me out today." I grinned satisfyingly.

His eyes opened even wider and a smile slowly spread on his face. His eyes started to tear up and it looked like he was about to burst into tears. Instead, he threw his arms around me, swaying me back and forth a billion times.

Next up was clothes. Each piece Adam and I chose was taken to the fitting rooms while we continued looking around. I didn't even know how many pieces we picked out, but that didn't matter.

Adam and I had so much fun trying on each outfit. We laughed. We joked. We posed. It was as if we were high-fashion models from Milan posing for the cameras.

"Your total today is $12,737.83," the sales assistant said after ringing up our items.

I took out the credit card Henry gave me and noticed my name "Alexandria Olivia Winters" written out in fine gold letters. He already had the card made for me?

After losing track of time and how many stores we had been to, our arms were full of bags and our stomachs were growling.

I let Adam drive the Porsche back to his apartment after lunch and after dropping him off, I remembered one thing I forgot on my shopping list. I drove back towards downtown, heading for Nordstrom, the first store that came to my mind.

Once inside, I found my way towards the bedding section, in hopes of finding a new bed collection to replace Henry's dark sets. The dark, depressing colors made me miserable.

Even if Henry wasn't fine with this change, he would just have to deal with it.

I walked past the baby clothes section and decided to stop for a moment to observe the little outfits.

I reached out to feel the fabric of a soft pink onesie with the design of a mama bear and a baby bear in the middle of the chest. I bit my bottom lip as the bitter feelings resurfaced. The memories of my baby all rushed back - the good and the bad. The pain I felt losing Baby Kale, I wouldn't wish that pain upon my worst enemy.

I quickly shook my head.

The past was the past. There was nothing I could do to change it. I shouldn't dwell on the what ifs anymore because it would only consume me, hurt me the more I do.

I took a deep breath and forced myself away from something that could have been ...

But in reality, would never be.

...

I dropped the bags on the floor of Henry's bedroom, not feeling as satisfied as I thought I'd be. What was I doing? Spending so much money on all of these materialistic things, it didn't make me feel any better about myself...

I placed everything away in the closet and went downstairs to have dinner with Nana. Henry wasn't there, but I thought I saw his car when I pulled in earlier. Maybe I hallucinated.

After dinner, I went out to the backyard and sat pretzel-legged on the edge of the wooden platform, admiring the Koi fishes as I fed them. There were many different sizes and colors - I lost count of them all. There had to be more than twenty swimming near me.

I never realized how peaceful it was here. Even though it felt lonely because no one was here, I was happy about one thing - none of them were afraid of me. How would they know that I wouldn't hurt them? I wondered why. Maybe they trusted me. Or maybe it was because I was feeding them.

They ate the pellets from my hand quickly with no sense of fear, as if I was one of their old friends. Their slippery mouths tickled my fingers, and I silently chuckled from the funny sensation.

A beautiful grey Koi swam from behind the crowd and immediately caught my attention. I held out some pellets for it, and it ate them from my fingers gently. I grabbed more pellets for her, at least I think it was a she, and stroked the soft scales of its flimsy body. It didn't even flinch from my touch. "Good girl," I whispered.

"There you are, I was wondering where you went after you washed the dishes," Nana called from behind me.

"I just wanted some fresh air."

Nana came and sat down next to me. "They're beautiful, aren't they?" I nodded to her question. She took some pellets and started feeding the Koi fishes as well. "This pond was Henry's idea, did you know?"

I shook my head. "No, he never mentioned it. Why did Henry want a Koi pond?"

She sighed. "After losing everyone in his family, he went through a very rough period in his life. He didn't smile, laugh, or eat anything at all. He barely spoke even a word... The Koi fish is a symbol for overcoming adversity and to Henry, that was something he wanted to do but had a hard time. So, he made this as a constant reminder for him."

"I didn't know how important this pond was to him."

"Sometimes I see him come down here and talk to these fishes by himself. You two are very much alike, you know? You and Henry. You both have gone through many hardships and changes in your lives."

I nodded my head silently.

"Anyways, I'll leave you alone. I'm going to go get some rest."

"Okay, good night Nana."

"Good night, dear," she kissed me on the head and went inside the house.

I gazed into the starry night sky with Nana's words repeating through my head. As I thought about it, my eyes tried to focused on a star, but the more I concentrated on it, the harder it became to see it.

Nana was definitely not wrong in her observation. Henry and I were very much alike, but just like the star, the answer wasn't as clear cut to me now as before.

I stood up to go back inside, but my eyes stopped on the guest house that stood at the end of the empty pool. I walked closer to it, and when I came upon the door, the doorknob was unlocked. Curiosity got the best of me and I went inside. A quick look wouldn't hurt, I thought.

Even though it was dark, I could make out the small comfortable living room with a kitchen by the corner. I made my way towards another room. The drapes were pulled back on the sliding doors as the moonlight shone through the glass in the darkness.

My eyes focused onto a figure, and I realized it was Henry sitting with his back to me.

He sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over and appeared to be looking at something. A picture?

I slowly turned around so he wouldn't notice as I tiptoed out.

"Don't go, Ally," he said from inside the room.

I stopped.

Henry stuffed the photo inside his pocket as I remained where I was. "Stay for a while," he spoke gently.

I carefully turned around and paced inside the darkened room, sitting down by the sliding door. I laid my back against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest with my arms.

"Did you have fun shopping today?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I might've maxed out the card."

"That's impossible," he chuckled lightly.

"What are you doing here alone in the dark?" I asked.

"I like to be alone here with the lights off sometimes. It's peaceful, and I can hear my thoughts."

I guess that was another thing Henry and I had in common. We liked being alone by ourselves. Away from others.

"Jennifer..." Henry began, causing me to turn to look at him for the first time tonight. He never spoke of his sister in front of me, so now when he did, it was bewildering. "Jennifer loved to read. She'd always say she wanted to be a writer... a journalist, just like your father. That's why Nana calls her Pen." He lightly laughed. "Because she'd always carry this gold pen with her... She was always the stronger one of us, you know. She never backed down from doing what she knew was right. But after our parents died, she had nobody else but me to turn to. I thought I took it the hardest, but Jennifer took it harder. I tried to be the older brother that she could look up to, but I failed."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

After a moment of silence, he stood up from the bed and came over to me, sitting down by my side. "Because I feel like I'm failing you as well."

"Henry," I said, feeling the weight of his name on my chest. "You didn't fail me... It was me. It was my own imagination to think that you could love me, even if it was for a second... But after thinking about what my brother did to your sister, I understand."

"Why did you come back with me?"

I remained silent, not knowing the answer myself.

Why did I come back here? Was it because I wanted to show him that I wasn't something to be messed with? Or was it because I missed him? Because I wanted us to be back together? Because, even after all of this mess, a piece of my heart still loved him?

"Baby Kale," he started. "I'm-"

"No, please don't," I interrupted him. I swallowed hard. "Now is not the time."

Why would he bring up Baby Kale now? Was he feeling sorry? Because no matter how many times he said it, it wouldn't change anything.

I stood swiftly up to leave, but Henry held onto my wrist.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Ally. I won't speak about it anymore. Just stay. Please don't go."

I turned my gaze down towards Henry who was already looking up at me. Slowly our eyes met through the dark, and I didn't have the heart to leave this man alone.

This man, who had hurt me over and over, who has caused me to experience the worst kind of pain, captivated my fragile heart completely.

Silence echoed through the room as we remained quiet. I kept my attention out the window, staring up into the night sky when Henry unexpectedly laid his head on my shoulder.

His eyes remained shut, and before long, his breathing slowed and deepened. My gaze moved from his eyes, to his nose, lips, and then his hands.

I reached out to feel his cheek, but just before my fingers touched him, I hesitated. My fingers balled into a fist, falling back down to my side.

He was the source of my happiness ... and my pain. I didn't want to give into him so easily like this.

Once I knew he was asleep, I leaned my head onto his, sighing at how broken we both were. For a moment, it felt like there was only the two of us in this world.

And for a moment, I smiled because I realized we were nothing but two lost souls trying to find our way back to each other.