Song: In My Veins by Andrew Belle

"Oh, you're in my veins...And I cannot get you out...Oh, you're all I taste...At night inside of my mouth."

After dinner, I remained determined to stay in my room.  Henry had not left yet.  I wasn't sure how to act nor say to him with him around.  The whole time we ate, all I thought about was what he said to me while we were shopping.  I wanted to think it was me who was important to him, but when I began to feel the slightest hope, I fell back to the horrible things he had done to hurt me.

Everything was just so complicated with us. I couldn't forgive him so easily and let him get away with it. 

As I picked up the scrapbook from the corner of my dresser, I couldn't help but think that someone told him. Why else would he come inside my room?

An unexpected knock came at my door, startling me. I already knew it was him because Nancy usually opened the door after she knocked and called out my name.

I stood still for a few seconds, unsure of whether to answer.

He knocked again, and I couldn't stop myself from walking towards the door.  My hand pulled on the door slowly, revealing a somber Henry.  His gaze lifted to meet mine once he realized I had opened it.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to stay composed.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I just want to talk to you."

"What now?"

"I promise I won't do anything to hurt you," he uttered softly.

I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Especially with another witness around.  But the fact that he thought about my feelings...It was uncharacteristic for someone like him.

"Why are you still even here?" I asked as I turned around to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm not leaving. Not after what happened yesterday."

"So what? You're going to spend the night here?"

"I already asked for Nancy's permission if I could sleep here," he said, still standing by the door.

I shrugged my shoulders out of disinterest. "Fine. Do what you want. But you're not sleeping anywhere near me."

"I understand," he said, his eyes never leaving me as he padded over. I watched him kneel halfway to the ground before casting my gaze to the side.  With an unfamiliar  hesitance, Henry subtly laid his palms over my fists resting on my lap.  "You haven't forgiven me yet, have you?"

I slowly shook my head. If I forgave him, it would be too easy.  If I forgave the terrible things he had done, not only to me but my family, I would always be consumed with guilt.

"I deserve it," he spoke through a bitter chuckle.  "Does it ... still hurt?"

"Which part?"

"Our baby. Is it okay?" He asked.  Of course he would ask about the baby.  He only cared about the baby.

"No, it doesn't hurt anymore. It won't hurt me as much as you hurt me."

An evident tinge of regret crossed Henry's face as his eyes faltered to the floor.  He stared at his hands still enclosed around mine for a moment.

"How are you feeling? The pregnancy, I mean," he clarified, looking at my stomach with a ghost of a smile.

"Fine." 

He nodded slowly, taking notice of my harsh tone.  Now I was the one who felt bad. I didn't mean to come off so rude and annoyed about it. 

"I was going to tell you in your office that day," I interrupted the silence. "But I was afraid."

"Of what?" 

I was afraid of you.  Of who you are.  That you would take this baby away.  That you would ask me to abort this baby.  But worst of all, that you would never care or love this baby like a good father.

"It's late," I muttered. I quickly removed my hands from underneath his and got up to the door.  "You should go."

With the same hesitance from before, Henry followed me, stepping onto the other side with his back facing me.  Before I closed the door, Henry turned around to look at me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ally. I'm right here if you need me," he spoke tenderly.  "You don't need to be afraid of me."

With nothing left to say, I closed the door.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to get a glass of water only to be distracted with a sleeping Henry.  His feet extended past the armrest of the longest sofa in the room. Careful not to wake him, I steadily approached over to him.  Very lightly, I pulled the cotton throw to cover his shoulders.  

This was probably the first time he's ever slept on a sofa, I thought.  Unable to repress the urge, I used a finger to push away a piece of hair on his forehead.

"Is it me who's important to you?" I whispered.

.....

Henry meant what he said.  He wasn't going anywhere.  The entire next morning and afternoon, he stayed suspiciously attentive to me.  His eyes were glued to me and my every move.  He followed me when I went to the restroom. When I went to get the mail.  He didn't miss a thing.

The day after, he slept over again.  Nancy thoroughly enjoyed his presence claiming she felt more assured that he was here in case anything happened to me. And since I didn't want him staring at me all day, already feeling conscious of myself as it was, I told Nancy I had some important errands to run.  But that didn't stop Henry from following me around either.

When Friday came, I had no other choice but to return to work, and I wasn't complaining. I was actually thrilled.  Even though Henry detested the idea, he knew better than to dictate me around anymore.  Plus, I needed to get away.  I felt so suffocated and self-conscious with him constantly following me.

Before, I would always want Henry around. But nowadays, I couldn't get rid of him. Strange how quickly things could change.

Both Nancy and Henry insisted on Henry taking me to work.  Nancy convinced me it was the safest way.  Not wanting to add myself to her pile of worries, I agreed.

"I'll pick you up after work," Henry said to me as he parked the car in the front of Horizon.

"It's okay. You don't have to. I'll take the bus back. I don't want to bother you," I said, opening the passenger door.  As I climbed out, his fingers wounded themselves around my wrist.

"Ally," he called out my name sternly, much similar to the past. "I'm picking you up after work."

"Fine, do what you want then. Bye. Can you let go now?" I nudged my chin to his grip on me.

Just as his grasp began to loosen, I pulled away and stepped out.  Though I knew better, I succumbed to the desire to look back. Whether he was there or not, I could care less. Honestly.

Once our eyes locked, I instantly felt my heart jump. He was still there, watching me walk away.   I hurriedly spun on my heel towards the revolving doors, keeping my eyes at my feet until I was inside the building.  As I scurried to my desk, I suddenly bumped into something. Rather, someone.

"I'm so--...Nick?"

His blue eyes widened in surprise as he realized it was me.  There was no trace of his warm smile that usually greeted me when we saw each other.  We parted on a sour note, and it was completely my fault. I felt awful for destroying the relationship we had.  Henry put those doubts into my head about Nick, and I shouldn't have let him. 

"Hey," Nick said.

"Hey," I repeated.  "Look about what happened the other day--"

"It's okay."

"No, I was out of line."

"Let's talk about it later, alright? I'm kinda on the grind."

"Oh, okay." Before I could finish speaking, Nick was already halfway down the hallway. 

During lunch, I decided to go up to Nick's floor and ask if he wanted to have lunch with me.  When I got there, his receptionist called him only to inform me that he was currently not available.  And maybe it was true.  Maybe he was busy with work or maybe he was in a serious meeting. Or maybe he was avoiding me. 

At the end of my shift, I noticed Nick sitting on at a table outside of the cafe in the lobby.

"Nick," I called his name as I walked towards his direction. He looked my way as I waved at him.  "Are you busy right now?"

"No, I was meaning to get back to you but today has just been-," he paused as he flailed his hands around his head as if to explode like a volcano.  I laughed, feeling comforted he could still joke.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure," he said through a forced smile. 

I placed my binder on the round table and tapping the tips of my fingers against the surface of it, wondering where to begin.

"Have you been avoiding me?" I asked worriedly.

Nick only chuckled, his reaction catching me off guard. "No.  Why would you think that, Ally?"

"Because of what I said.  Because I questioned our friendship."

"I'm not avoiding you," he plainly put it.

"Then why aren't we talking the same as before? Why are you faking your smile? Is it just me? Did I ruin our friendship? Please just tell me."

"It's not you. It's me."

"What?"

"I don't know how to say this..."

"Do you like me, Nick?" I asked abruptly.

"No, not that way," he vehemently shook his head. "Just as a friend, honest." 

"So you're not avoiding me on purpose."

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"I know Henry is going to tell you at one point about me. And what he's going to tell you - it's not something I'm proud of. And I don't want it to make you think differently of me."

"I won't."

"Promise me, this won't affect our relationship."

"I promise," I assured him.

"I used to be a jerk.  A real bad one. You know how Henry and I used to be friends awhile back.  Well we went to the same boarding schools, our parents were friends. Heck even our grandparents were friends.  And then his sister met me.  She liked me.  A lot.  And I didn't return her feelings so-"

"Henry hated you for that?"

"No, it gets worse."

"Nick," I said, seeing him almost cry for the first time. "Don't tell me.  I don't want to know anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am."

As our conversation came to an end, Nick and I walked out of the cafe together.  My feet came to a slow halt once I saw Henry waiting near the revolving doors. Nick glanced at me before looking the direction which I was looking. Henry's eyes caught onto us once we were within sight.  He tensed for a second before turning away as if to give us some time.

"I guess I'll leave you here then," Nick muttered. "Ally, I'm sorry if it looked like I was avoiding you. I didn't mean to."

"I know. I'm sorry too."

We both bade each other goodbye before I walked over to Henry who was still facing the other way.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," I spoke.

"I didn't wait that long."

"Nick and I were just catching up on-"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me, Ally. I trust you. Here, let me take your things," Henry reached over for my binder and my bag before I could even answer. 

Was he really not bothered by it?

On the way back, I noticed Henry missed a turn to Nancy's place.  Fear and panic slowly set in, remembering the many times he has done this in the past.

"This isn't the way to Nancy's place," I pointed out.

"Don't be mad at me."

"Don't give me a reason to be mad at you."

"It's somewhere you'll like."

"I want to go back to Nancy's house," I stated flatly. "Turn the car around now."

"I can't do that."

"Henry."

"Ally, just give me this chance. I know you're going to love this place."

"No," I challenged. "I'm not doing this again with you."

"I promise, Ally. If you don't like it once we're there, then I swear I'll leave you and our baby alone."

I remained quiet, debating his ultimatum. Henry wouldn't have it another way but his. And I couldn't do anything about it.  Wherever this place was, I wasn't going to like it. I didn't have any other choice.

Once we climbed into his private jet, I moved to the farthest seat in the back, keeping a good amount of distance between us.  Before I knew it, I knocked out on the plane. I don't know how long I was out for but when I finally came around, I heard a hushed whisper close to me. 

"I'm sorry, little one. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I promise I will be here for you from now on. Mommy's still very angry at Daddy because Daddy did something very stupid. But Daddy's going to do his best to try to make it up to Mommy. And I promise you that I'm never going to make Mommy sad again. You got to help me, okay? We're a team, you and me."

As I peeked from underneath my lashes, I witnessed an emotional Henry place a kiss on the tips of his fingers and lay it gently on the small bump of my stomach.  Was I dreaming all of this?  Or was it real?

I hoped it was real.

Thanks for reading!!!
-May