Chapter song: Bet U Wish by Raye

"You're way too late.
And I was on this freaking train.
And I save you a place.
You threw it back in my face."

"Stop the car," I demanded sternly, keeping my arms folded across my chest.

Henry only responded with silence.

"You said you wanted to talk so let's talk."

Again, nothing but silence.  Was he doing this on purpose just to aggravate me? Because it's working.

"Will you stop messing with me?!" I blurted out.  "I'm about to get over you. Can't you stop hurting my feelings?"

He kept his gaze down the street, deeply mulling over a thought before gently pulling the car over to the side of the road.

"I'm not trying to hurt you anymore," he said, purposely keeping his eyes away from mine. There was no hint of anger in his voice, no vexation nor annoyance.  He sounded sincere, almost.  "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Liar."

His head lifted slowly, his soft gaze finding mine.

"Let's just go home to talk this out, please, Ally."

"No. I'm not going there," I shook my head, thinking back to those cold, lifeless walls.  "Even if you threatened me, blackmailed me with my brother's life, I will never go back to that house with you."

"You're my wife, Ally," he needlessly reminded me. "Please come home."

"Home?" I scoffed harshly.  "That house of your's. That house never felt like home to me."

Henry's expression completely fell, but I could only catch a short glimpse of it as he turned his attention back to the street.

"Fine," he replied.  "We won't go there then."

He swerved into the main lane again, and although I desperately wanted to ask where we were going, I knew all too well the answer to that question. 

Henry pulled up to Pearce Hotel's driveway.  I glared at him as he stomped around the front of the car and once my door opened, he effortlessly grabbed my wrist and pulled me out towards the lobby entrance.

"Let me go. I can walk by myself," I muttered to him, but he refused to listen. Enough with his antics, I imploded right in the middle of the entire lobby. "Henry!"

I felt a few eyes reel on us, as Henry stopped in his tracks.  He spun around to look at me, his lips in a stern line and those familiar eyes filled with contempt. "Say that one more time."

"Let. Me. Go!" I yelled, trying to fling my wrist out of his grasp.

But instead of freeing my wrist, Henry hauled me closer to him. He skillfully wrapped his arm around my back in a second, and another behind my legs, lifting me up from the ground. 

"Say that again, and I'll kiss you right here," he threatened with a teasing smirk.

I could feel my cheeks burning at the multiple stares we were getting as he made way to one of the elevators.  Once we entered Henry's office, I managed to struggle free as he began walking towards the window, leaning one arm onto the glass window, gazing far out into the horizon.

"What do you see in him?" He suddenly asked.

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?  Nick?"

"Answer my question, Ally."

"Because he's kind."

"Is that all it takes?"

"Yes," I said.  "Because I am such a simple-minded, easy woman, that's all it takes.  Nick is a gentleman.  He knows how to treat a lady right, and he knows how to make her feel important. He has a kind heart unlike-"

"Me?  Is that so?" Henry interrupted me as he spun around to face me.  "Did you know he could have saved her that night?"

"What are you talking about?" 

Saved her?  Saved who exactly ..... Jennifer, possibly?

The reason why they had a fallout. The reason Henry despised Nick all this time was because of ...

"I'll let him tell you that himself. He's not as innocent and immaculate as you think."

"Oh and you are," I fired back. 

"I never said I was. Look, I don't want to talk about him anymore.  I want to talk about us."

"There is no more 'us'."

He slowly approached me, keeping his gaze locked on mine.  A few inches away, he bent down to his knees, lowered his head and laid his hands flat against his thighs.

I noticed the profound glossiness in Henry's eyes. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state gave me such a foreign sensation.  But the pain that struck my chest was not.

"I don't want to lose you too," he mumbled with trembling lips, fear etched all around his expression.  "Can you come back to me? Can you give me one more chance, Ally?"

I swallowed the rock lodged in my throat. "I already gave you an answer. If this is all you have to say to me, there's nothing left to discuss."

I turned to leave, but his hand urgently held onto my hand, stopping me.  I felt his thumb rub along the wedding band on my finger, and it only struck me with regret now. 

"You're still wearing it."

I turned away from his gaze, trying to hide the small part inside of me that still felt for him. I should have taken it off when I had the chance.

Though I didn't want to look at him, I couldn't help myself be magnetized to his eyes.  In them, behind the pain and the sorrow, there was a light of relief.  A light of hope that I shouldn't have given him. 

"Ally..."

"It means nothing."

"Why are you lying? You still have it on. It obviously it still has some value to you."

"Let me make this clear," I spoke with vigilance.  "I already made up mind.  There's nothing you can say or do that will change it. We can't go back to how things used to be...Sometimes when I look at you, I don't know what you're thinking...How you truly feel about me...Whether you really did love me.  This ring you gave me wasn't from your heart..." I managed a laugh as I glanced at the hollow diamond on my finger. "It wasn't meant for me like that...But that's not important anymore," I continued, taking a breath. "What's important to me now is that I'm living for me.  And you should too ... Move on. Live for yourself and forgive yourself.  I can't fix you. I'm sorry."

I crushed him. His relief was gone. His hope, shattered within seconds.  I could visibly see that faint light fading away behind his eyes.  Before I could turn into a sobbing mess in front of him, I sprinted down the empty hallway and instead of taking the elevator, I turned into the stairways in case he ran after me.  But I knew he wouldn't.  Any hope he had left for us, I stopped it.

Out in the cold, I aimlessly walked down a busy street, trying to persuade myself this was the right decision.  I needed to stop it before we went down an even rockier path.  Before we both were more tortured by this.

I knew this wasn't me being rash or impulsive. This was the right decision. It was one I had been pondering on for a while now.  Tonight only confirmed it for me.

During the cab ride back to Nancy's house, I texted Lily. When I arrived at the house, Lily was sitting in the front porch with a bag in her hand.  As soon as Lily stood up form the porch swing, I ran towards her and threw my arms over her small body, nearly knocking her over.  I tried to hold myself back from breaking down right now, but it was irrepressible.  Lily comforted me as she always did.  She cried with me. Even though she didn't know a thing about what was going through my mind, she would always cry with me.

"What is that?" I asked.  After my emotions calmed down, Lily and I stayed outside on the porch swing.

"It's food you ordered," Lily replied. "Nick paid for everything and wanted me to give it to you just in case you didn't eat anything yet."

"Oh, I'll thank him when I see him later."

"Are you going to tell me what happened between you and .." Lily trailed off, unsure of whether to say his name.

"It's okay, Lily.  You can say his name."

"So, what happened?"

"It's over between us."

"Are you serious?" Lily asked worriedly.

I nodded blankly.  "I think it has been for a while.  I've just been delaying the inevitable."

"Ally..." 

"I'll be okay, Lily.  Really.  You'll support me, right?"

She rubbed my back gently and leaned her head on my shoulder, sighing.  "Always."

In my room, I picked up the scrapbook and sat at the edge of my bed, staring at the ultrasound picture.  Without knowing, tears began falling onto the cover, leaving small, circular stains on the cover. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I laid my palm against my stomach.  "But I have to do this.  I don't want you to grow up with a mommy and a daddy who don't love each other.  I don't want you to grow up like him...I know, deep down inside, your daddy is gentle, but he can be cruel and too unpredictable sometimes...I don't want you around someone like that.  I hope you can forgive me."

This was the right decision.

For Henry. For me. For my child.

.....

"What's in the box?" I asked Nick while we walked towards the entrance of Sally's Place.

"It's some gifts for the kids," he replied. 

"Should I have brought something too?," I asked, suddenly worried.

"I got you covered," he said with a charming grin.  Regrettably, it didn't have the same effect. 

I wanted to ask him whether he was telling the truth when he said he liked me.  But I couldn't bring myself to.  It would make things even more awkward between us. Besides, Nick was just a friend.  He probably said it for my benefit. If that makes any sense at all.

Juliet was behind the front desk on what seemed like an urgent phone call when we entered through the doors.  She gave us a fleeting, but earnest smile as she politely ended the call.

"Welcome, you two. The children will be so excited to see new visitors," Juliet said, walking around the desk to give us both kisses on the cheeks and hugs.

"Thank you again for inviting us," I told her.

"Thank you for coming.  Come, we told the children all about you two. They're always happy to see new faces," she explained. "And thank you Nicholas for bringing the gifts. I'm sure the children will love them."

Nick smirked deviously.  "Don't mention it, Juliet."

Juliet led us down a long, narrow hallway with endless doors on each side.  I wondered how the past and present occupants of these rooms were doing now.  The women and children having to come to this place for salvation because their supposed salvation, their home was no home.  All the fear, pain, and suffering they had to endure.  And if I think about it, if I didn't have good friends and family like Nancy, Lily, and Adam,  to look after me, I'd probably be here ... too.

There was chattering growing louder as we reached an open door at the end of the hallway.  There were about fifteen to twenty kids of all ages scattered throughout the room playing with old toys, board games while others read worn out books and drew on the chalkboard walls.

"Hello, everyone," Juliet announced. Everyone obediently turned their attention to us in an instant. "I'd like you to meet our special friends today. This is Nicholas, and this is Ally. Say 'hello' to them."

Everyone bellowed a somber 'hello' back.  I figured it was because they were shy. We were complete strangers to them so it wouldn't be a far-fetched guess.

"Since our friends our here, let's begin, shall we? Come everyone, let's sit in a circle."

After we sat in a circle, Juliet delved into some rules about an ice breaker activity.  Our name, our age, and one other fact about us. It was a reminiscent moment, reminding me of my younger years when we had to do something similar in school.  Even at my age, there was always a hint of anxiety of opening myself up to others.

But as Juliet began, each child was not the slightest uncomfortable about sharing anything about themselves which surprised me. One would think that these children would have trust issues but they are quite the opposite.  Juliet has built such a safe, loving, warm home for them. They all sounded so adorable as they revealed their names and ages.  All but one. 

She looked more reserved than the rest of the children.  She was about Alexis' age.  Her clothes were dark and dingy, and there was barely a noticeable blue rim around one of her eyes.  Thinking about what might have caused it broke my heart.

"Alright. Now that everyone knows a little bit about everyone, we can move on.  Tonight, we are going to draw. Who likes to draw?" Juliet asked enthusiastically. Almost everyone of the children raised their hands. I kept my eye on that girl, growing even more curious about her.  She didn't raise her hand, but a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips at the mention of the activity. "Wonderful! Everyone is to draw something that makes them happy. There's paper and drawing supplies on the tables.  Let's draw for about thirty minutes, and then we'll split up in small groups to share what we drew."

The eager children split off in different directions, having absolutely no trouble in deciding what to draw. I, on the other hand, had a blank piece of paper for about ten minutes.  In the end, I settled on something simple - a camera.

I searched the room for a grown man and found him sitting with a boy and a girl, siblings. The girl mumbled something into Nick's ear, and they both shared an innocent giggle.

"He's not as innocent and immaculate as you think." 

Henry's words rang in my head.  Was Henry lying when he said that?

As I walked across the room to join them, from the corner of my eyes, I couldn't disregard a girl sitting by herself in the corner table.  It was the same child who I was curious about earlier.  Even though knowing she might ignore me when I join her, I couldn't help, but feel connected to the pitiful girl.

Authors' notes:
I apologized if my depictions of domestic shelters are not accurate. I have never been to one before so this is all based on conjecture. Thank you!

As always, like and leave your thoughts on how the stories going.

- A :)