Chapter song: Paralyzed by NF

"When did I become so cold? When did I become ashamed? Where's the person that I know? ...They must have left."

In a heartbeat, I rushed to close the door, but Henry caught it with his hand before I could.

"Ally, please let me in," Henry asked.

I glared at him for a few seconds, wondering why he only showed up now. My hands released the door, and I turned around into the living room. I kept my back to him so he wouldn't see my face just in case I wouldn't be able to hold in my emotions.  God knows I've been so hormonal these days.

"What are you here for?" I asked, keeping my tone low and quick.

"For you," Henry responded softly. I closed my eyes, fighting the flutters in my chest.

Don't fall for his words, Ally.  Don't be touched.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Henry standing right in front of me, his eyes locked with mine.  If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was sorry.  His hands drifted down to mine, locking his fingers around mine.  I tried to pull away, but he only held onto them tighter.

His eyes fell to our hands, softening his grip by rubbing the skin on the back of my hand back and forth. "I heard you weren't feeling well."

"Why do you care how I'm feeling?" I spat, removing my hands from his grip. "You never truly cared for me before."

"Ally, listen to me-"

"No, I won't listen." I backed away from him. "I won't believe you anymore, Henry. You're always hiding things from me," I said, my voice cracking.  I was beginning to break, and it hasn't even been two minutes.

"Please, Ally," he continued, motioning closer to me.

"Don't come any closer," I retreated further, extending my hands out slightly as if to protect myself. "Please, just stay where you are."

"Why, Ally?"

For some reason, I thought if he stood too close to me, he would find out I was changed. Nancy's words came back into my mind. He is the father of your baby. He needs to know...

"Because you disgust me," I spoke sharply. The instant those words fell from my lips, Henry's expression fell.  If possible, he looked even more guilt-ridden than before. "Because looking at you repulses me to my very core.  Now please get out. I want to be alone."

"No, I won't leave yet." He shook his head. "Not until you take this back."

He pulled out a yellow envelope from behind him, offering it to me.

"No, it's your money."

"Ally, I'm not going to accept it," he said.  He took my hand and forcefully placed the envelope in it.

"Why not? It's what I owe you. I know it's not the whole amount, but I will pay you the remaining as I work."

"Ally, don't you see? I don't want the money."

"Then what else do you want!?" I shouted, my voice rising. "I told you I was going to pay back the money I owe you. Every last penny."

I shoved the envelope back into his hands. "Take it and leave. Now."

Just as I turned around to leave, the room began to spin in the opposite direction until I collided with Henry's body. My arms pushed at his chest, not wanting him to touch me.  I fought and yelled at him to let me go, but he refused to comply.  His large hand snaked around my waist while the other glued onto the back of my head, imprisoning me against him. I felt him lean his chin into the side my neck, his breath so close, I could feel it running along my pulse.

My energy was being drained by the second.  Not only from Henry's tense embrace, but being around him again was like torture.  I wanted to be with him, I admit that.  Being so close to him in a small room like this, within minutes, just the mere sight of him shattered every effort I made in forgetting him.

"Henry, let me go."

"No, not until you listen to me," he demanded.

"You have nothing else to say to me that will make me forgive you.  Everything you have done to my family, to me, I can't just accept that nothing happened. Please, let me go."

Slowly, I felt him loosen his grip.  I flew back from him, keeping a watchful gaze on him as he wistfully looked at the floor.

"I'm not telling you again. Go," I demanded. His eyes shot up to mine, his jaw tense and his brows low.

"No, I'm not going anywhere."

I hated how stubborn he was. How insistent and controlling he was.  Why couldn't he just leave me alone? 

"Fine.  If you won't go, then I'll go." I bolted towards the door, but Henry wrapped his arms around me from behind, locking both of my arms.

"I miss you, Ally," he whispered tenderly into my hair. "Can you please come back to me?"

With shaking hands, I violently shoved his grip off me and turned around to face him. "No! Don't you understand?  I'm not going with you.  I'm not going back to that house.  Just leave me alone."

Henry stared at me with a dumbfounded expression, his body frozen in place. Tears have now broken the barricade.  Unable to hold in my emotions any longer, I raced to the kitchen, trying to distract myself.

I turned on the faucet and quickly washed away at my dishes from earlier.  My mind tried to focus on the task at hand, but it wasn't enough to distract the overwhelming emotions swelling in my body.  I grabbed the glass cup and hurried to rinse it.  As I placed it on the drying rack, it suddenly slipped through my fingers, falling to the porcelain floor.  The shattered pieces of glass laid still on the floor and I stood motionless for a moment before registering the scene.  Not thinking clearly, I bent down and picked at the uneven pieces. 

"Ally, what happened?"

The voice caught me off guard, enough so that a corner of the glass gashed into the skin of my palm.  I winced at the sharp pain, and watched in shock as the dark blood from my palm dropped onto the floor.

"Ally!" Within seconds, Henry was beside me, taking my injured hand.  He frantically observed it for a second before I pulled it away from him.

"Leave me alone." I stood onto my feet, and Henry followed.

"You're hurt," Henry protested, genuine concern etched on his face as he seized my wrist. "Let me take care of you."

"I can handle this myself."

"Ally, please stop being stubborn."

"Who's the one being stubborn," I mumbled to myself.  Henry obviously heard me, but he didn't retort with anything but a sorrowful glance.  Why was he pretending to look all innocent and hurt?  As if he was the victim in all of this.

Within minutes, the room was quiet.  I watched as Henry tended to the wound on my palm, the expression very similar to the one last time he helped me like this.  Those guys broke into Eve's house demanding money, and Henry came to save us. 

I chuckled bitterly to myself.  He had it all planned out.  He knew I was going to be hurt yet he still went through with it. 

"Does it hurt?" He asked.  I sighed and averted my gaze to the side.

As he finished placing the band-aid onto my palm, I freed my right hand from his grip.

"You want to know if it hurts?" I stood from the dining chair. "Let me tell you something. This is nothing compared to how you hurt me.  My feelings for you right now is a hundred times more than hurt. I feel scared...I feel hatred. I feel numb. Every time I look back on all the horrible things you did to my family, there is only pain and suffering.  Don't think that this and a few words from you will fix everything and make me trust you again. I won't believe you...I don't believe a person like Henry Cavill will have remorse."

Without saying another word, I raced to my room.

"Ally, wait!" Henry called out as he followed me.

Once I was in my room, I locked the door swiftly and leaned my back against it.

"Ally!  Please open the door!" Henry's fist pounded against the door, and I finally allowed myself to break down, the tears I've suppressed up until now, the cries I have been enduring the last few weeks all now coming back to haunt me.

Why was I so weak? So vulnerable?

Soon, the pounding faded and the room became silent. I heard his footsteps recede from my door, but there was no sound of the front door closing.  I waited a few more minutes, afraid he might be waiting for me out there. 

But it wasn't long before I heard a door close.  As I wiped away my tears, I quietly crept out of my room to find nobody else here with me.  I saw Henry walking towards his car parked on the street and I couldn't help but watch him.

He opened the door but did not get in right away.  He lifted his gaze towards me, and I instantly hid behind the wall, afraid he might've seen me.

As I looked out the window again, the black BMW was already gone.  With heavy steps, I found myself walking towards the kitchen to clean up the glass, only to find it had already been tended to.  

.....

As I walked towards the escalator, I saw Nick coming from down the hallway.  He was looking rather chipper this afternoon.

"Hi, Ally."

"Hey, Nick."

His crooked smile suddenly fell as he took my hand in his - the one that was hurt.

"What happened to your hand?" Nick asked worriedly.

"It's nothing. I accidentally cut myself on some broken glass."

"Ouch! That sounds fun," he joked. "You should have called in."

"It's fine now, and I can still use the keyboard with my other hand. Anyways, you excited for next week?"

"Why? What's next week?" Nick asked with a confused expression.

"We're going to the Sally's Place to volunteer, remember?"

"Oh, yes, that. I definitely remember that. I'm looking forward to it," he said with a smile. However I wasn't too convinced by his contradictory tone.

"Well, I'm excited for it," I said, as we climbed off the escalator.

"Do you have anything going on tonight?" He asked as we walked towards the entrance.

"No, I don't actually." Without further information, I already knew where this conversation was going.

"Remember that drink?"

"Of course, you only remind me about three times a day," I said with laugh. "You're never going to let it go, huh?" I teased, causing Nick to laugh as well.

"Nope," he smiled cheekily.

Several minutes later, we arrived at a building called John Hancock. Once we entered, my eyes darted to the golden ceilings.This place seemed so familiar like a memory in my mind.

"Have you been here before?" Nick asked me as we climbed into the elevator. I watched as he pressed on the button for the 96th floor.

"Yes, I have," I said, remembering when Henry took me here. That moment was still vivid in my mind even though it was months ago.

"With him, huh?"

I nodded, and he held his hands behind his back with a pressed smile.

"I should've known."

When we were seated at the bar, I looked out at the downtown view below. The twinkling lights and horizon remained as beautiful as before.  But for some reason, it no longer excited me.  It felt empty and lifeless.  Being here brought back feelings of bliss, but it was also a constant reminder of the pain he had given me.

"So what kind of drink will it be?" Nick asked, smiling. I could see the excitement building up in his features as his smile widened.  I bit my lip and straightened my back as I stared at him seriously.

"As a matter of fact, I need to tell you something first," I said.

"Okay?"

I fuddled with my clutch, unsure of how to tell him since I haven't even told the father of the baby yet. "Nick, you're a wonderful and special person to me. I don't want you to take this the wrong way."

"Ally, what do you mean?"

"You have been very kind to me, and I feel like I would never be able to repay your generosity, but...That drink...I don't think I can accept it," I said, holding my breath.

"Ally, I've always considered you as a friend," Nick said with no sense of madness or annoyance in his tone. "I don't want to pressure you to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"Thank you," I said. "It's not only that."

"Then what is it?"

"Can you promise me first that you'll never tell Henry what I am about to tell you?"

Nick's perplexed expression deepened as he listened to my request.  His expression changed gradually as he noted my growing anxiety. "I promise. I won't tell him anything."

"And promise me that this won't change our relationship."

"What is it, Ally? You're scaring me?" He asked with an awkward smile.

"I'm pregnant."