Riley

I wasn't happy to be back in the halls of Oceana high school, but I was glad to be away from my apartment. My Foster Dad, Hank, had just got back home a few days ago. He wasn't making life easy on any of us, especially not me. His anger was red hot. He spent the last months in jail and that was all because of me. He was going to make me pay. I was avoiding him like the plague. Thankfully, he got his job back. He worked at the dump. They didn't care if he had been in jail. My summer working had covered what he wasn't making. But Gwen was still mad.

I didn't have any new clothes for this year. Usually I saved up for a couple of pairs of jeans and a few new hoodies. But since my whole check went to Gwen, I had nothing. My old clothes would have to do. But I had gotten a little taller over the summer. That sucked. I hated standing out. At 5 foot 11, I always stood out. I always walked with my head down. My hair covering most of my face. I started that after the accident. I had a pretty bad scar on my face. But it has actually slowly going away. But I still cover my face. I don't want to be seen. My jeans are too tight. But the hoodie was too big in the first place. It will do for another year I hope.

People fill the halls. Most of them have excited colors swirling around. I can tell who the Freshmen are, because most of them have a bit of insecurity and anxiety. I don't blame them. High school is tough. Even in this small school. A guy I remember from last year is leering at me with a look I don't like at all. His color has just a tinge of lust. Creep. He brushes past me and "accidently" grabs my butt. I just keep walking. Don't let him bother you, I tell myself. He didn't have any evil intentions. That's the good thing about seeing people's emotions. I can tell if they intend to hurt me. Most people don't. The guys are usually nicer than the girls though. The girls have a mixture of green envy and disgust for me. They hate me because I'm poor and they hate me because they think I'm prettier than them. I don't know how they can hate me for both. Can't they see that since I'm so poor, it doesn't matter if I'm pretty? But jealousy isn't always reasonable. I don't know why they feel like that anyway. I'm way too tall. My curves that decided to show themselves last year are nothing but a nuisance. They can have my curves if they want them. It just makes my Foster Dad look at me like a piece of meat. I can't even feel comfortable in my own home.

The girl who has the locker next to mine is spewing orange emotions right now. Puppy love, or a crush, is what I have come to recognize that color as. Not lust like most guys have. Orange is more innocent. I don't mind that color. Its happy and hopeful. I wonder who she has her eyes on. She's talking to her little group of cheerleader friends. "Did you see the new guy? Oh my God! His eyes are mesmerizing. And his lashes are longer than mine! It looks like he's wearing makeup. What do you think?" The other girls nod their agreement. I'm not even going to bother looking. What's the point? I'm sure once he finds out I'm a foster kid, he wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. And I have honestly never felt anything for any of these guys.

She keeps talking. I take my time at my locker to listen. Its nice to hear regular teenage conversation for a change. "And he has these bulging muscles." The other girls giggle at that. "Does he surf?" one of them asks. "He totally had a surfboard on his Jeep!" Oh, my goodness, they are so shallow. Is that all that matters? A hot guy who surfs? How about being kind? Is he smart? Do any of these girls have standards?

"There he is!" One girl squeals. He's coming this way. I feel a rush of energy run through me. Like tingles up and down my spine.  That's so weird. I don't care about this guy they are drooling over. Why am I getting all flustered?  I decide to turn the other way and head to class without checking him out. I don't need to see what he looks like, right? Just another lame guy like every other one I have ever met. But I admit to myself that I am intrigued. I shake my head as I dismiss that ridiculous thought. I won't be distracted by a handsome guy. These girls are pathetic.

I head to my first class, calculus. I put my head down and let my hair fall around my face. I don't want anyone looking at me. I don't feel comfortable in these tight jeans. I feel like everyone is staring. I need to get a grip. No one is looking at you. They don't care about you, I tell myself. I find a seat in the back of the room. Although I love learning, I don't want to be up in the front of the classroom. I feel like I'm on display up there. I feel those weird tingles once again as a guy enters the room. He looks around like he's searching for something. I immediately put my head down. I don't want to seem like I'm curious about him. The girls would be all over that and call me out. I caught a brief look though. Tall, muscular, wearing a blue t shirt and jeans, combat boots. Nothing to get excited about, right?

He sits down in the front, in the only seat left. All I can see is the back of his head. He has nice, thick, black hair. I wonder what color his eyes are? No, stop it, don't be like all the other girls! It doesn't matter what color his eyes are. I only wondered because those girls mentioned his eyes. That's all this is, curiosity. I try to ignore the weird tingly feeling that persists. I reach into my hoodie and pull out the amber necklace I always have around my neck. It calms me and centers my thoughts. Not today though. I feel like the stone is warming my hand and more tingles are now going up my arm. So weird. I drop the necklace, but I can feel the warmth on my neck where it lays.

I'm so flustered that I don't come back to reality until I hear the teacher call my name for roll, "Riley Grayson". "Here!" I sputter. That was smooth. I try to pay attention to the teacher. He's one of my favorites. I feel safe here. His colors are always calm and welcoming. I notice a couple more orange colors coming off some of the girls in class. A few are whispering and looking over at the new guy.

Then I notice his color. One I have never seen appear around a person before, that I can remember. It's my absolute favorite color in the entire world. How is he emitting my favorite color? Its technically named light steel blue. It's a cross between light gray and light blue. I know because I am obsessed with colors, for obvious reasons. I believe I know the name of every color in existence. And I have a detailed list at home of what each one means coming off of a person. But I have never seen my light steel blue on anyone. Most of my small wardrobe is as close to this color as I could get.

People emit a color profile. It tells me the base instinct of the person. Kind, mean, arrogant, selfish, etcetera. Then they have secondary colors that kind of fly around them as their thoughts and intentions change. So, a person can have a really nice yellow showing me they are happy, but then they stub their toe and little sparks of army green fly out and I see that they are hurt. The darker the color, the more intense the emotion. But the floating additional colors are temporary. They are small sparks and only stay as long as the emotion persists. I tend to ignore most of those, since they are fleeting. But they are definitely fun to watch. Like a spark of embarrassment or lust. They come quickly and leave quickly. Unless that is the base emotion of the person. Then it persists as their constant color. I realize that no one else experiences this but me. I must be crazy. Or it's a side effect of my accident. I really don't know. But I don't talk about it. I tried once with a therapist and they just about lost it. It protects me and helps me stay away from people who are angry or have intentions of hurting someone. Well, other than my own Foster Parents that is. I'm stuck with their sick colors.

The teacher continues roll call. Then he says, "Grayson Parker". My heart just about stops. All eyes, including mine turn to the new boy. Then he smoothly says, with the deepest, most soothing voice I have ever heard, "here". Girls all over the room visibly swoon. Those orange sparks are shooting out everywhere. His name, it's the name I couldn't stop thinking that morning someone saved me. The police assigned it as my last name since I couldn't think of my own. I instinctively knew it wasn't the right last name, it was more than that. But I wanted to keep it close to me for some reason. So, I told them it was what I wanted.

I couldn't concentrate at all that period. Or the next few. He was in two of my classes before lunch. And when he wasn't in my class, I was wondering what he was doing. This was getting ridiculous. Thankfully Maya, my closest friend, was in a couple of my classes too. I used her to distract me. At lunch, I met her in the cafeteria. She was a sweet girl who was also in Foster care. Her Foster parents were pretty nice. Not great, but not horrible like mine. We understood each other. So, we became friends last year when she moved here. She was more outgoing than me and she wasn't in the least bit shy with her body like I was. She enjoyed the attention. I never got the appeal, but to each his own.

"So, Riley, I noticed you looking at the new guy in class. Anything you want to tell me?" I answered too quickly and with too much force. "No, of course not! He's new, I just wondered what his story was." "Sure, you were gawking at him all through English to get his story. Not checking out those hard muscles and cute butt." "I wasn't looking at his cute butt!" I exclaimed. That got me a couple of glances from girls down at the other end of the table. I leaned in and said more quietly, "I hadn't even noticed." "Oh, so I guess that's why your face is bright red right now." She stated flatly.  Darn my light skin! "I wasn't checking out his butt. I was just curious about him. That's all." "Okay Riley. I will believe you. Since, you know, you have never given a second glance even to the cutest guys in school. It's no big deal that you are totally obsesses with the new guy." She teased. I shoved her with my elbow and she exaggerated almost falling off her chair.

"So, tell me, what is it about him that has you fascinated?" I didn't really want to talk about this. But I knew she wouldn't let it go. "I don't know exactly. There is just something different about him. I'm not quite sure what it is. I'm just curious." "Alright, I will let it go at that. But if I find you writing him cute love notes, I demand my right to tease you mercilessly." "That's fair. Since it won't be happening. But thanks for the warning anyway."

The rest of the lunch period moved along uneventfully, except for noticing his every move. I should probably be a little more discreet with my new stalking impulses. He sat with a bunch of guys at what I call the "Jock" table. It's the football players and surfers. He seemed to fit right in. I still hadn't seen his eyes. But the light steel blue still surrounded him. I noticed he had a few sparks of surprise, then shyness as different girls tried to approach him. That was a good sign. Most guys gave off a pretty strong conceited color vibe when they were being flirted with. I hated to admit that I was getting just a little jealous when one girl actually raked her fingers through his gorgeous hair. His maroon embarrassment was prominent. Did I just think his hair was gorgeous? That's ridiculous. I noticed Maya staring at me again. I quickly looked away from him.

"Oh girl, you have got it bad. Have you even said hi to him yet?" "No, and I don't plan on it. Why would he want to talk to someone like me?" I asked honestly. "Are you kidding me? You are one of the most gorgeous people I know. You hide your perfect body under layers of clothes. You cover your beautiful face and mesmerizing eyes with all of that shiny, long mahogany hair of yours. You are crazy if you don't think you are totally hot." She stated bluntly. All I could see was honesty coming off of her. She was really a good friend.  "Thank you, Maya, but you don't have to say things like that. I know what I am. A poor foster kid." "You are crazy Riley. Do you think that all you are is a foster kid? You survived the loss of your parents and horrible accident. You have perfect grades, even though your home life sucks. You take care of your little sisters when no one else does. You are so much more than your circumstances. You won't be in the system forever. You are going to make something great of yourself. I know it."

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