Chapter 21

I wake up with a headache that makes me want to crawl into a ball and die. I look over at my bedside table and see a bottle of water and aspirin and I silently thank whoever had brought it. I hope it was my cousin. My aunt would kill me if she found out that I had gotten drunk, especially a week after being released from my punishment. I decide to get up and get ready for work, figuring that I have to be there at ten and my aunt will come barging in at 9:15. I still have an hour.

By the time I'm ready, the medicine has kicked in and I feel ready to face the day, aside from the urge to go back to sleep and the hunger that has possessed me. I take my phone off the charger, which I surprisingly remembered to plug in last night. I look at my messages and my eyes widen when I skim Maddox's text. I don't even have to click on it to cringe. He compiled a list of things I'd done to embarrass myself. As I read it, the memories slowly make their way into my mind and I wince and face palm repeatedly.

Apparently, I told him about Jacob, my old crush. I also called him the better looking brother. He doesn't let me live down the fact that I confessed my feelings for him. The list goes on and on and on, and eventually I feel like shoving my head into a garbage disposal. After replying with an impolite two worded message, I respond to my other texts.

My aunt knocks on my door and tells me to meet her at the car in five minutes. I hastily stuff the aspirin and water bottle into my bag and shove my phone in my pocket. I slip out of the room and zip up my coat as I walk down the hall. Once I reach the first floor, I find Vivica sitting on the couch. I look around before approaching her. "Did you leave me the aspirin?" I question, just to be sure I wouldn't be yelled at during the car ride.

"Yeah," she nods with a small chuckle.

"Thanks," I mutter quietly.

"What happened last night?" she wonders with furrowed brows.

"I told him," I grumble unhappily as I grind my sneaker against the hardwood.

"Maddox?" she catches on with wide eyes. I bob my head twice. "About your feelings?" I nod again.

"Yeah, I did," I confess as I place my head in my hands. The memories flood my mind once again and I cringe all over. "And I was drunk and embarrassing and it was horrible. I don't know how I'm going to face him on Monday."

"Well, what did he say?" she presses with a curious look on her face.

I sigh again as I drag my fingers down my cheeks. "We're supposed to be going on a date."

"A date?" she questions with raised brows. "When?"

"Tonight, at eight," I answer. "I originally planned it to tell him about my feelings but there's no need for it now. I tried to cancel but he wouldn't let me."

"That's cute," she smiles.

Before I can say anything, I hear my aunt's car horn honking. I rush out of the house after telling my cousin I'd see her later.

+ + +

"Hey, Abel," I greet him as I slip behind the register and into place beside my friend.

He pouts and looks away. "Hello, rude." I look at him in slight confusion.

"Rude?" I ask as I tug my brows together. "What did I do now?"

"Nothing," he replies. "It's what my parents did."

"What?" I wonder, feeling absolutely lost.

"They obviously gave Maddox the better genes," he retorts with a dramatic shrug.

"Oh... that," I frown and rub my tired eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, even though you're a jerk," he sighs. "You know, maybe Raven was right. Maddox is rubbing off on you."

I groan again. There's another embarrassing thing I did. "I should regret it but I don't," I confess.

Abel shrugs weakly, as if not really bothered with her. "What'd she do?" he wonders.

"Tried to deter me from dating Maddox by trashing him," I explain in a quiet voice.

"Ouch," Abel shrugs. "I mean, maybe you should listen. Dating him is a bad idea."

"Shut up," I snap as I distract myself by pinning on my name tag.

"You should've taken that advice last night," Abel mutters thoughtlessly.

"Does he tell you everything?!" I sigh in slight exasperation. Abel gives a happy nod and instead of replying, I watch as a group of people walk into the fast food restaurant.

By the time work is over, I want to go straight to sleep. It's only two o'clock and I feel as if I've been awake for thirty years. Abel and I walk out to his car and I have a favor to ask of him. "Can you do me a favor?" I plead hopefully. I pucker out my lower lip as he heaves a sigh.

"What?" he wonders.

"Tell Maddox that the date is cancelled," I elaborate as I wave my hands around . "Say Caroline's sick, or something."

"Why?" he presses with a raised brow.

"It's going to be awkward. The purpose of the date was for me to tell him how I feel, but since he already knows, it's pointless," I elucidate as I get into his car

"Fine, but Maddox never listens to me," he responds as he buckles his seatbelt. "You should know that by now."

+ + +

It's 7:58 when the doorbell rings. I'm busy watching television on the couch when my cousin calls my name. "Liv, it's for you!"

I manage to get up and walk towards the door with a curious look written across my face. My eyes land on Maddox and I blink a couple times. Thanks a lot, Abel. He texted me at 3 o'clock that he thinks Maddox fell for his lie so I took a nap and relaxed.  "What are you doing here?"

"We have a date that we're supposed to be leaving for in two minutes and you look like you just crawled out of a trashcan," he acknowledges as he assesses my outfit.

"It's cancelled," I respond bluntly.

"Go get ready," Maddox nods into the house. I narrow my eyes at him and cross my arms tightly across my chest.

"I'm not going," I snap as I attempt to close the door. He stops it with his hand.

"I'll wait here until you agree to come," he threatens me. We stare at each other for a moment and I eventually give in with a defeated sigh. He's already prepared and ready for the date. 

"Wait on the couch; I'll be downstairs in fifteen minutes," I mutter, not really in the mood for an argument.

He steps into my house and closes the door behind him. I manage to get dressed in twenty minutes in an outfit that looks decent enough. I'm braiding my hair when someone knocks on my door. "Come in," I call dully as I finished off the lengthy braid. My cousin pushes open the door and peeks in.

"You're going on that date?" she wonders when she looks at my outfit.

"It was supposed to be cancelled but here I am getting ready," I mutter as I spray myself with perfume. "He's too stubborn. If he was a normal guy, he would've went home and slept or something."

"It's cute," she insists with a happy smile. I scoff and zip up my boots in a speedy fashion. I feel bad for making him wait, especially because the restaurant is nearly an hour away. I roll up the sleeves of my sweater and begin shoving my things into my purse. My cousin allows me to pass her as I enter the hallway. "Have fun."

I sigh and attempt to smile at her. I jogs down the steps and Maddox rises to his feet and does a little stretch. Wordlessly, I open the door and he walks out and onto the porch. I follow behind and closed and lock the door. It's dark and cold and I can't wait to actually get to the restaurant. I haven't eaten dinner because I didn't feel like making it and I wasn't in the mood for takeout. We get in the car and let silence fill the vehicle as we drive.

The area seems familiar so I know we aren't heading towards Linus Peak. That's at the other side of town, going in the opposite direction. I don't question it too much. As long as I get some food in my system, I'm not complaining. I remain silent and try to count the minutes until the confession from last night makes its way into the car.

When we finally arrive at our destination, I recognize the cliff and the clearing. Maddox starts getting out of the car and I follow suit. As we walk along the fence, I admire the water below. He drops down on the ground and I take the seat beside him. When he notices my shivering, he tilts his head. "Do you forget your coat all the time or do you just want a collection of my hoodies?" he wonders.

I roll my eyes at his insinuation. "I assumed we'd be indoors." Maddox starts pulling off his sweater and I immediately grow red in the face. "No it's fine. You're going to be cold if—." It's too late though because he drops the sweater into my lap. I don't complain anymore and put it on when I notice his long sleeve shirt. It still doesn't seem warm enough to protect him from the chilling winds but he doesn't say anything.

"That wasn't much of a secret," he mutters as he tugs lightly at a piece of grass between us. I let out a quiet scoff when it clicks in my mind. There we go; it took twenty minutes for him to bring up my confession.

"Yeah, I'm not too great at hiding my feelings," I admit with a quick glance at him.

"Everyone else knew?" he prods and I let out a long exhale as I nod.

"Now everyone knows," I confirm awkwardly.

"Well, at least I'm in the loop now," he shrugs in response.

"I don't want this to change things. Don't treat me differently because you don't want to hurt my feelings. Treat me like you've been treating me these past few months," I insist as I turn to look at him. "And don't think I'm all sad because you don't like me back. I didn't expect you, too. In fact, I don't even want to like you. But I can't really help it."

He doesn't respond. He only sits with his legs bent slightly and his arms resting on them. I notice that he's biting the inside of his mouth, causing his lips to pucker. I take in the shadows that his eyelashes cast on his cheeks in the moonlight and the way his eyes slowly blink as if he's thinking hard. His hair was falls over his forehead and I fight the desire to comb it back.

"What happens when you leave?" he trails as he continues to pull grass from the ground.

I stare at him for a few seconds in an attempt to gauge his emotions. When I fail to do so, I offer him a half frown. "I don't know. I just leave."

"You just leave?" he repeats. I still can't identify his emotion. The hopeful part of me wants it to be sadness, but the realist part of me knows that it's nothing more than a question.

I shrug this time. "I don't know. I'm only supposed to stay for my junior year."

"What about your senior year?" he presses.

"Maybe my parents will let me stay," I propose the idea. "It depends on my behavior and on whether or not my aunts willing to keep me around for another year."

"Okay," he confirms with another thoughtful blink. I turn away from him and aim my gaze at my crossed legs.

"Can I ask you a question?" I murmur before swallowing nervously.

"Yeah," he agrees as he turns his eyes up to the moon.

"How long have you known?" I inquire hesitantly.

"Since our fight at the lunch table," he answers after a moment of thought. I groan loudly and try to shake the blush from my cheeks. "What?" He breaks his gaze from the sky to look at me.

"That was when I realized it," I complain as I press the heels of my hands to my forehead. I sigh loudly and ignore his quiet chuckling.

"Were you jealous?" he asks, which confuses me.

"What?" I reply with a raised brow.

"Of Raven," he further elucidates. "Is that why you went off on her?"

"Leave me alone," I grumble as I play with the sleeves of his sweater.

"Were you going to tell me?" he questions and I see him tilt his head from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, today," I explain.

"Why did you wait so long?" he continues to pry into my feelings.

"I had to prepare for it," I confess, wondering why he's so curious. You think it'd be awkward for him to talk about.

"What's there to prepare for? It's three simple words," he scoffs, sounding a bit like Winona.

"With feelings behind them," I remind him as I stare at the sky, avoiding his gaze.

"It's three very simple words," he repeats. "Say them."

"No," I respond immediately, having anticipated his request.

"Why not?" he questions through a laugh.

"Because it's weird," I tell him with a shake of my head.

"How is it weird?" he continues to interrogate.

"You made it weird," I retorted.

"Just say the words," he encourages with a nudge to my side.

"No." I shake my head again.

"Say them," he requests once more.

"Noooo," I drawl this time.

"Come on," he lightly elbows my side. I still can't bring myself to look at him.

"You already know so what's the point?" I brush a stray hair from behind my ear.

"The point is that you actually admit it when you're sober," he reveals with a wave of his hand.

"Well, if it wasn't true, I would've called you this morning and told you!" I make it known.

"You're such a wimp," he observes with a quiet laugh.

"I know," I concur. We have another gap of silence but this one lasts two minutes. "I have another question."

"Ask away," he insists.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I stress. "I mean, if you knew, why didn't you bring it up?"

"That's a really rude thing to do, don't you think? Just bring it up in conversation. 'So I was watching the news the other day and they're predicting rain but I'm predicting that you have a crush on me,'" he imitates a weatherman.

I laugh at this for a second. "It all depends on how you do it. That would've been funny- embarrassing, but funny."

"What do you consider a bad way to bring it up?" he proposes the question and I stare at he sky in thought.

"Well, for starters, telling someone that you're way out of their league." I cringe at the idea of him telling me that. However, that'd successfully rid me of all feelings for him. Now that I think about it, that doesn't sound so bad...

"I wouldn't do that," he assures me with his fingers buried in the grass.

"Yeah but you would tell someone to stop," I counter with a quiet laugh.

"I wouldn't," he corrects me.

"Yes you would; I can imagine it now. 'I like you, Maddox.' 'Well, stop,'" I imitate, lowering my voice when I speak for him. 

Maddox chuckles and grins at me. "You said it."

"I know I did," I retort with a roll of my eyes. "Happy now?"

"You even said my name, too."

"I hate having crushes," I dully announce.

"Why?" he wonders, sounding generally curious.

I keep my eyes on the grass. Because you're out of my league and I know for a fact that you'll never, ever like me back. "Crushes ruin friendships."

"You've had crushes on all the wrong people, then," he informs me. "Crushes only ruin friendships if you let them."

"I guess so," I mumble. "You know what this means, right?"

"What?" he interrogates in a slightly excited voice.

"The guys are going to make fun of you," I answer, which causes his shoulders to slump a bit.

He offers me a bored blink. "I don't care."  He surprises me by returning to a previous conversation. "Are you staying for the summer? Or are you leaving as soon as school lets out?"

I turn my attention to him and repress the urge to smile. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. "I don't know, Why does it matter?" I answer.

His gaze flickers to the ground, which he's destroyed with his bare hands, and he wipes his hands off. "I'm just wondering."

"Do you want me to stay for the summer?" I question. He shrugs, which earns a sigh from me. "It's a 'yes' or 'no' answer, Maddox."

"Yes," he concurs while avoiding eye contact.

"I guess I'll ask my parents for the details of when I'm leaving," I tell him. He nods and his fingers brush through the patches of grass that he hasn't obliterated.

"Do you want to leave?" he mumbles.

"I mean, I miss my family, but I like it here in Harrington," I confess as I try to formulate an honest answer. "I don't know what I'd do back in Warrensville for my senior year. I basically cut ties with all of my friends. I'd have to find a new group and try to ignore the urge to go back to my reputation and to my old friends- to familiarity."

"So you don't want to go?" he asks after listening to my short explanation.

I chew on my lip in thought. "No, I guess not," I answer. "Do you want me to go?"

"No," he replies with a scoff as if the answer is obvious.

And I don't need to ask why not; I don't need him to tell me that I'm a good friend; I don't need to him to make a sarcastic comment to try to make himself seem less vulnerable; all I need is for him to admit that he wants me to stay in Harrington. That fact alone is enough to make me happy.

+ + +

For the most part, it's silent. Maddox remains beside me with a thoughtful expression on his face as he stares at the stars, which are clear and bright tonight. He hears my stomach growl and I feel my face redden when he turns to me. "Are you hungry?" he asks.

I sheepishly nod and he rises to his feet and extends a hand for me to take. I hesitate on taking it, but eventually decide to when I realize I'll just embarrass myself trying to get up on my own. He yanks me upwards and I manage not to ram into him. We walk towards the car and I turn to him. "Aren't you cold?"

He looks back at me. "Not really."

I shake my head at him as I wave around the loose sleeves of his sweater. "Meanwhile I'm freezing even with a sweater."

"I'd offer to hug you, but I feel like you'd enjoy it too much," he smirks as he opens the door to the car for me. I glare at him as I get in, already anticipating all of the jokes at my expense that I'll have to face. He walks around the car and gets in only seconds later. "So where do you want to go to eat?"

I shrug and wait for the heat to warm up the car. "Subway? I don't know," I propose as I rub my hands together.

"Subway it is," Maddox nods as he pulls out of the clearing. I let out a noise of content as heat fills the car.

We drive to Subway and, because they don't have a drive-thru, we have no choice but to enter the cold once again. Just as I'm was about to take off my seatbelt, Maddox turns to me. "You can stay in the car if you want to."

"Really?" I ask him, growing hopeful.

"Yeah, just tell me what you want," he says as he unbuckles his seatbelt. After relaying my order to him, I watch as he got out of the car and enter the restaurant. Eventually, he returns with our food and drinks. Maddox, who thankfully washed his hands, rips open the wrapper of his food.

I feel a vibration in my pocket and I realize that it's Maddox's phone. I retrieve his phone and hold it out for him to see. He has a mouthful of sub and his hands are extremely greasy so he nods at the device in my hand. "Ansther et," he encourages through his food.

"Answer it?" I ask him, just to be sure. He quickly nods and I look at the screen, noticing that the caller ID reads 'Jamie.' "Are you sure?" He nods his head again and I nervously press the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I greet the caller.

"Do I have the wrong number?" a deep voice asks. My eyebrows furrow and Maddox stifles his laughter as he cautiously chews the mouthful of sub in his mouth.

"You're a guy?" I blurt, feeling a sense of relief wash over me.

"You must be Olivia," Jamie responds in a seemingly amused tone.

"Uh, yeah," I confirm with narrowed eyes. I stare at Maddox, who's practically choking on the food in his mouth as he tries to hold back his laughter.

"Where's Maddox?" he wonders curiously.

"Sitting right beside me, choking on a sub," I reply with a chuckle.

"Sounds gross," Jamie notes without skipping a beat. "But can tell him to come over at four tomorrow instead of noon?"

"Okay," I agree, feeling completely and utterly stupid. I relay the message to Maddox, who nods. "He said he will."

"Thanks," Jamie confirms.

"Yeah," I reply before hanging up. Maddox, who finally manages to swallow the rest of the food in his mouth, is leaning over laughing. "I hate you," I snap as I shove his phone towards him.

"No you don't," he answers.

"I do," I assure him. "Why didn't you tell me Jamie was a guy?"

"You said you didn't care," he reminds me as he slowly stopped laughing. He lets out the occasional chuckle as he stares at me. "You should've seen your face."

+ + +

By the time Maddox drives me to my house, I'm no longer annoyed with him. I can't stay mad at him for too long, especially when he's laughing and smiling. He explains to me that Jamie is his cousin and that they're hanging out tomorrow. I don't bother saying anything, mostly because I felt too stupid to speak.

We pull up to my house and Maddox looks at me. "Do you want to call Jamie just to make sure he's still a guy?"

"Shut up, Maddox, okay?" I snap with a small scowl. "I just assumed he was a girl."

"So you admit to being jealous?" he teases me with an entertained smirk on his lips.

"I never said I was jealous!" I deny quickly.

"Well, you assumed Jamie was a girl and you got too angry to have a civil conversation," he responds with a slow nod. "Sounds like jealousy to me."

"Shut up, Maddox," I retort as I unbuckle my seatbelt. "You're not getting this sweater back, either."

"Soon, I'm going to have no sweaters," he concurs and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Serves you right," I bite as I open the door to his car.

"And Olivia?" he starts. I turn to look at him. "I doubt Jacob could've been a model."