"Sit with the pain until it passes, and you will be calmer for the next one." 

-Naval Ravikant

***

You know what I do when I am trapped in my own body? Trapped in unbelievable pain that you can't do anything but lay in the fire and scream? 

 You remember. 

 So that is just what I did. 

 ***

 I screamed, although I wasn't originally trying too. So much happened at once. Jasper grabbed Bella's arm and literally threw her into a wall, making pictures fall and plaster break. 

 And then everyone else came in. 

 "Oh my God!" Alice screeched, followed by what sounded like a flurry of yelling from everyone else in the room. Edward ran over to Bella, and pushed her out of the window, knowing it wouldn't hurt her, while I just stood there, too shocked to process any pain. My hand flew too my neck, where blood was gushing out of a gaping hole that I knew wasn't good. 

 "Courtney? Just look at me, okay?" Carlisle's voice swam into my vision, he was poking at me with a syringe. But I still couldn't feel anything. I mutely stared into his eyes as the door opened again. 

 "What the fuck?" I heard a loud voice exclaim, and then Paul was in my line of vision. "What did you do to her? Who did this?" 

"Get out of here, now!" I heard Jasper scream, his voice raised in a way I have never heard it before. He sounded... scared. Terrified, in a way I have never heard before. 

 Then I felt the pain. 

 I screamed my entire body jerking to the side, making Carlisle jump, and press my shoulders onto the bed with his firm hands. "I'm sorry, You have to stay still." 

 "Hurts." I managed to choke out, tears clouding my vision at the stinging, shooting pain that consumed my throat, cutting down toward my chest. As soon as the words left my eyes, blood filled up my mouth, making me turn my head and cough, gagging. 

 I heard a loud crash, and then Carlisle disappeared, yelling something that sounded suspiciously like, "Jasper!" Seconds later, the man himself was in front of me. 

 "It's okay." He whispered, leaning forward and brushing a piece of hair from my face. "You'll be okay." 

 With painstaking effort, I reached over and covered his hand with mine, muttered three last words before my eyes wouldn't open anymore. 

 "Don't give up." 

***

 The first thing I remembered was the day  I met Sadie. 

 Not the day we became friends, the day we met. 

 It was the first day of fifth grade, and she was knew to the school. As soon as I laid my eyes on her, I knew she wasn't like most people in Arizona. First of all, her entire head was dyed pink, and her lips were curled in a smile like I have never seen before. She was the prettiest girl I have ever seen, and the first thought that struck me was that she looked like a rock-star. 

 Her eyes swiped over the classroom, calculating, like she wanted to know who of us were worthy of her attention. Finally, she walked over to me with confidence I have never seen, sliding into the empty seat next to me.  "Hi." Her voice was tinted with a small British accent that I knew would fade overtime. "Can I tell you something? This isn't my natural hair color." 

 I giggled, turning my back on the curious eyes, "I figured." 

 "I'm Sadie." 

 "Hi Sadie... My name is Courtney." 

***

 At first, I thought I was dead. 

 I felt no pain, I couldn't hear anything. 

 But then, a fire sparked, and I could feel another scream tear from my throat as every inch of my body was engulfed by pain I have never felt before... Pain that I couldn't escape from.

***

 "Alright Kelly, batter up." 

 The girl herself stood up and brushed some dirt from her pants. Sadie snickered, leaning over so she could whisper in my ear. "That's a bad move, she's a danger to us all when she bats." 

 I snorted, earning a withering glare from the blonde, as she dug her ankles into the ground. "Hold that swing!" I yelled, jumping up to jog over to the side, but instead, the bat swung back, smacking me in the head and making my knees hit the floor. 

***

I could hear voices. The fire never went away, but I could make out voices from behind the pounding in my head. Mostly I heard Jasper, whispering things I couldn't quite make out, and stroking my hair, his cold hand helping with the pain in my forehead. I heard Alice too, and Sadie, Emmett, Paul, Embry, Jacob... even Quil, who leaned in and told me that if I died he would kill me. 

 I couldn't tell him that I wouldn't. 

 "Renesmee." I heard a new voice cut in, a slight pressure beside me indicating that Bella had sat down. "You have a niece..." A flurry of loud, tear less sobs came next. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know what was happening, this is all my fault! I took away your future, you were supposed to go to New York, you always wanted to see a Broadway Musical there. Please forgive me, Courtney. I am so sorry, and you shouldn't, but I love you. Please be okay... please be okay, and we'll go to New York. We'll go to university together, and we'll see all the Broadway Plays you want." 

 There was a long pause, long enough that I thought she left. I wanted to tell her that I forgive her, that she didn't mean too, that nothing could have stopped it. Finally, I heard one last thing, before the blood rushing through my ears became too loud to tune out. 

 "You're too good for this world." 

 ***

 "I don't get it." 

 I looked up at Bella, my glasses on, math papers sprawled in front of me. We were fifteen, studying for our big final exam. "What?" 

 Bella brushed a piece of her short hair from her face, shoving a book aside so she could adjust her position. "You. How are you so forgiving, but could also beat someone up for making fun of my hair?" 

 I frowned, clamping my lip between my teeth and  shrugging. "Well, I don't like people I love thinking I'm mad at them, because then nobody wins... and I don't like people hurting people I love, because then they are assholes and deserve to be tased." 

Bella cocked her head, her inky strands of hair  falling behind her hair like a waterfall. I try telling her I like her hair straight, but she never believes me. She is going to try and grow it out again. "So if I ever did something like... really bad, you would forgive me?" 

 I sat up straighter, "why what did you do?"

 Bella giggled, lightly smacking my arm. "Nothing! I was just wondering." 

 "Well in that case, yeah I would forgive me." I rotated my shoulders when my back began to ache. "Whatever you do, I'll forgive me. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 

 Bella jumped forward to lightly squeeze me in a hug. "I love you, little sis." 

 "I love you too, big sis." 

 ***

 "I guess now would be a good time for me to tell you that I'm gonna propose to Sadie." 

 When I didn't respond, Alice chuckled lightly, although I heard her sniffle. "You know, the usual... tell her about the pillow story, and how I thought she was insanely beautiful the first time I saw her, even though she did have blood running down her head." A soft laugh that only Alice could produce rang in my ears. "You were so judging me for that. Hey, remember our first time going shopping? With the sequined blazer? That seems like something Sadie would wear." 

 I couldn't talk, but I knew she was right. 

 "You used to tell me so many funny stories about her... it was almost like I loved her before I knew her. You guys were the perfect best friends, and I love you both more than anything... in different ways though." 

 I wish I could giggle. 

  "The way you speak is so descriptive... you should write a book. Finish the one you started when you were thirteen. You know, the one that people liked, and you couldn't believe it? That was funny. Like in Art Class, when you posed for my portrait? That was probably the most fun I have ever had." 

 I couldn't speak, but I hope that Alice knows she is the one that I have the most fun with as well. 

 ***

 "Okay... don't move." 

 I groaned as she said that for the third time, my feet shifting. "You know when you say that, it makes me want to move more." 

 Alice turned and gave me a glare from behind the canvas that was bigger than her. "Fine, do a handstand." 

 I complied, flipping over onto my hands, only managing to hold it for like, a second, before I went tumbling to the ground. Alice cackled as I sat up and flashed her a thumbs up. "I'm good, no need to worry." 

 "Oh I wasn't worrying." My strangely-beautiful friend assured, a smug smirk on her face. "Wanna see?" 

 "Yes!" I jumped up, anxious to see what Alice had produced in the past hour. When I saw the picture, my mouth dropped open, and a small laugh of disbelief fell from my lips. It was beautiful, just not in the way I was expecting. 

 "A sunset? I thought you were painting me!" 

 "To be fair, when I got out the glitter you should have been tipped off..." 

 I playfully slapped her arm as we fell into a fit of giggles. 

 ***

Over time, it was like the pain began to ebb away. 

 Slowly, so slowly, but surely. A sharp stab would shoot through a limb, and then the pain would flow away like water through a funnel. 

 As soon as the pounding left my head, I sat bolt-upright in the bed. 

 I heard a scream, which made my heart thump, making me scream. 

 Someone else screamed, making me think I was in hell or something, and scream back, falling backwards off of the bed, onto the hard floor. 

 Of Carlisile's office. 

I was alive. 

 A/N: Dear everyone who thought I would have the balls to kill Courtney, DO YOU THINK I AM SOULLESS???

 I don't even know what to do... here is this, the next chapter will be out soon, and I am super excited to explain the effects the venom had on her body!  

As always, lots of love to my beautiful readers!