"In the bad times I fear myself." 

-Bradley Cooper, A Star is Born

***

"Okay, Bella and Edward are on their honeymoon, this is where we buckle down, people!" 

Jasper and I sighed in almost perfect unison as Alice went commando-mode. "We have exactly thirteen days and ten hours until the second wedding, so we have to get ready, Courtney!" 

 I jumped out of my skin when Alice snapped, jerking my head off of my fiance's shoulder. I hadn't even noticed, but the soft tune of Alice's musical voice mixed with the comfortable couch, and Jasper's cold finger lightly tracing the scar on my stomach, I had begun to doze off. 

 "Well damn, Alice, some of us need sleep." I snapped, my lack of sleep recently taking a toll on my very human self. I yawned again, making Jasper mutter something to the rest of his family, although it was so quiet I couldn't make it out. Stupid vampire hearing. 

 "Do you want some rest?" Jasper whispered, his breath sending shivers down my entire body. "You know you can sleep."

 "I know." I yawned again, opening my eyes, but not sitting up. What can I say? Jasper may have a body that is solid-as-rock, but he is so comfy. "I don't need too." 

 "Okay." He sang, obvious as I shifted my body so my legs were on the couch and I was leaning on his chest. His arm snaked around my shoulders, rubbing my shoulder in small circles, while his other hand continued to trace the thin white line on my abdomen. It made me blush, but I didn't want him to stop. I was glad Edward wasn't here, as I really didn't need my mind to be read right now. A mix of sleepy haze was running through my head, plus, I just learned that A. Period blood doesn't effect vampires, and B. Cold skin feels really good for cramps. 

 "Okay Courtney, I know you don't feel good, but if you want to get married properly." 

 "Hey," I shifted my body, wincing at the shooting pain in brought, making a mental note to ask Carlisle for more Advil. "Wanna go to Vegas." 

 "No!" Alice screeched before he got the chance to reply, Sadie giggled from the chair she was sharing with Rose. "No Vegas! And sleep is for the weak!" 

 "That's coming from the person who doesn't need sleep." 

 Alice shushed me erratically as I curled up in a ball, my head leaving Jasper's lap. I feel bad, like I want to curl up and die. "Allie, I love you, but leave me alone. You don't know how I feel." 

 Esme cooed, running over and rubbing my back. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Is there anything you need." 

 I wanted to give her a reassuring smile, but I couldn't find the energy to raise my head, so I just flashed a half-hearten thumbs up. 

 "Okay guys, so, let's talk flowers." 

 "Just get lavenders." We spoke in unison, making Emmett snort, and Jasper press a soft kiss to my head. 

 "Great!" Alice scribbled something down on a clipboard we all know she doesn't need. "Okay, what about center pieces."

 "Jasper, you're in charge." I spoke, crawling over and dramatically draping myself over Jasper's lap. I couldn't see, but I imagined him shaking his head. 

 "No, doll I'm not good at this stuff." 

 "Well I'm dead inside." 

 "Ugh!" Alice groaned, throwing her clipboard on the couch in distress. "Fine! We're doing this first thing tomorrow!" 

 Before I could even speak, Jasper had scooped me up in his arms and was running up the stairs. I heard Emmett laugh, but didn't even care, and just burrowed deeper into his chest as he sat down on the bed. 

 "Are you gonna move?" He teased, and I shook my head, taking a deep breath and inhaling his scent. 

 "I love you." 

 Jasper leaned back, kissing my cheek, making me smile. "I love you too." 

 "I'm excited to get married." 

 "Me too, baby." 

 We fell into comfortable silence, which I used to relish how safe I feel with Jasper. I think it is crazy how we went from awkward acquaintances to here. Curled up on a bed, two weeks before our wedding. We're getting married, that's insane! I would have never pictured that after living in a small, crappy town in Washington, I would meet the best friends I have ever had, one of whom is going to be my husband. 

 Husband. It is such a big word... such a grown up word, you know? Like, saying 'oh, that's my husband' sounds so much different than boyfriend. Boyfriend is when you like each other, or when you learn that you love the other in a long, grueling sequence that can take years of denial and indifference... But when you love someone, you just know. You know that you want to see their face every morning when you wake up, you know you want to grow old with them... even though in my case, I can't. I know I'll be happy with Jasper... I know because I didn't believe in forever until I met him. I didn't believe in 'until the end', or 'I'll always be with you.' I didn't truly believe in love. 

 But let's talk about love. 

 A powerful, emotional word... but what does it mean? Well, it could mean anything from the new puppy you got, to the sister who has been with you through everything, to the man you are happy about marrying at eighteen. A girl who was afraid to love, because she was afraid of the girl she was. But now I know what love means, and now I know how love feels. 

 Because I feel it everyday, and I will feel it everyday, with my love. 

A/N: Sorry for the short and crappy chapter, but I needed to get it out as a celebration for 2k votes, and who-knows-how-many reads! That is insane you guys and thank you so much!