"All that it takes is a little reinvention."

-Mike Faist, Dear Evan Hansen

***

I was scared.

Scared of whatever came over me in the forest. Scared of what Jane might've said or done after she knocked me out. I was sacred of myself. Because I have never done anything like that before. I am supposed to be fearless, I'm supposed to be the one who sacrifices herself so her sister can live a life she was willing to throw away anyway...

So why do I feel so useless?

It has been three days since the fight, and although Carlisle stitched up my head, I had bruising all around my neck, and it seemed like whenever Jasper saw me, it just brought him right back to what happened.

Speaking of Jasper...

"Hey." he smiled softly, leaning against the door frame. "Can I come in?"

"It's your room." I grumbled from my spot on the floor. Jasper nodded, soundlessly crossing the room and sitting down next to me. I continued to stare holes into the carpeted floor, tears in my eyes, even if I don't know where they came from.

"You know you're safe with me?"

I nodded once. I know, I just don't know if he's safe with me.

"They want me to give up my life." The simple sentence made my words break and tears begin to flow down my face. "I don't know what to do."

Jasper soundlessly wrapped an arm around my shoulder, I buried my face in his chest, soundless sobs coursing through my body.

"I don't know what to do either."

I lifted my head just high enough so I could see his face, "what?'

"No part of me wants to prevent you from living your life. But no part of me wants you to go."

I sighed deeply, my breath quivering and my neck sore. That is exactly how I feel. I leaned my head back against his chest and closed my eyes. "I am going to turn." I spoke, not knowing where it came from, but knowing that it was the truth. "But I am going to do a year of college first. I want to go to Hawaii and get sunburned because you can't do that when you're a vampire. I want to scuba dive, or sky-dive, and just feel the rush of adrenaline you get when you know something is dangerous... I want to live..." I paused, "I want to be a kid."

"Like that song."

I perked up my head, not entirely sure where he was coming from. "What song?"

"From the musical." Jasper smiled softly. "So, can we be seventeen-"

I chuckled, "is that so hard to do?"

Neither of us were very good singers.

"That song is about a girl trying to get her boyfriend to stop murdering people."

"Whatever."

I giggled, wrapping my arms around Jasper's waist. "Thank you."

"I remember when I first met you." He suddenly blurted out. "Your first day of school. Alice was so excited, she kept whispering that I would finally have someone to hang out with."

I burst into a small bout of laughter that made my neck hurt. "Sounds like Alice."

"I hated it at first." He admitted sheepishly, running one hand through my hair. "It was just... hard, yanno? but it stopped being hard one day in English-"

"Oh, that teacher hated us."

"He really did." Jasper chuckled. "He asked you the plot of a novel... like, what it was about, and you looked up at him, shrugged, and said in the most certain voice, 'I dunno, Vegas?"

I could barely feel the pain in my neck from how hard I laughed, Jasper followed along, leaning his head back on the couch. "And I was just like, 'damn,' how could anyone hurt anything that precious?"

"And then you actually got to know me-"

"English class was the most fun I have ever had." He admitted, dropping his head so it rested on my shoulders. "We kept getting separated, because we spoke so much."

"It was my mission to make you laugh." I confessed, "I mean, when I first met you. I thought it was weird that you didn't..." I paused, plastering a thoughtful look on my face. "I also thought it was weird you were so goddamn hot."

Jasper snorted, "yeah, I thought the same thing."

"Shut up." I blushed lightly, "you guys were my friends, become family. You know what they say, 'good friends are like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.'"

"You're so poetic."

"I know."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, and I relished what this felt like. Being in love. I never thought would find someone like this, but now that I have, I never want to let it go. "I think my terrible crush on you happened the first time I came to your house. Emmett called you a pretty boy, and you said-" I did my best to copy his accent, "i am honored you think I'm pretty..."

Jasper chuckled, "I remembering knowing you were different when you almost beat up Jessica in the hall that day."

"And now she is like my sister." I sighed, "I'm going to miss her."

"Hey, no sad, no." Jasper lightly pushed my arm, "remember the awkward conversation we had on the car ride to my house?"

I couldn't help it, I practically doubled over with laughter, standing up and twirling around so I could face him. Emmett made fun of how we spoke in unison, and my face burned up like I was on the sun!"

"We were both so awkward!" Jasper groaned, standing up and twirling me around, "nether of us knew what to say."

"Now look at us." I mock-curtsied, "Who would've guessed?"

'"You kissed me without warning and I thought I would faint."

"It was what came naturally!"

Jasper grinned, grasping my hand in his own. "You went from an awkward stranger, to my best friend to the love of my life," He bent down to kiss my forehead. "I could never ask for anyone better. And I hope that we can stay this way for the rest of our lives... In all of my years, I have never met anyone like you. Strong, brave, beautiful, hilarious as hell-"

I giggled.

"and so perfect I don't understand... so I have something to ask you."

I tilted my head, still beaming. "Shoot."

Everything after that seemed to happen in slow-motion.

Slowly, Jasper took a step back until he was on one-knee, reaching behind his back and withdrawing a small, velvet box. My eyes widened, and my hand accidentally traveled to cover my mouth in the most cliche way possible. "Will you marry me?"

A tear leaked from my eyes, and I gasped, feeling a smile spread across my lips. I was eighteen, I am being targeted by a weird-ass vampire government organization, and my best friend might be dead... yet, there was only one word on the tip of my tongue.

"Yes-" I gasped, repeating when it came out small, "yes, yes! Oh my-" I didn't finish my sentence, I just tackled him in the biggest hug I have ever dished out. Tears falling from my eyes. Different tears, happy tears. Jasper beamed, his eyes glowing. He leaned down and delicately kissed my lips, passion and excitement fizzing from every pore in both of our bodies.

"I love you, Courtney Swan."
"I love you, Jasper Hale." 

A/N: EVERYONE CALM DOWN OKAY CALM DOWN IT HAPPENED!!!!! 

 AHHH! I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING MY CHILDREN ARE ALL GROWN UP THIS IS SO SAD BUT SO HAPPY SOMEONE SLAP ME!!!!! 

 WE'RE DONE ECLIPSE! PART FOUR (part 1) WILL BE OUT SOON THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING! I AM SOBBING BUT IT'S HAPPY, BUT ALSO SAD OMGOMGOMG!!

(CONGRATS IF YOU SANG THE QUOTE)

 THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH US, AND I LOVE YOU ALL!

-A VERY EMOTIONAL JESS!