"I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke."

-Someone from Tumblr, probably

***

Going to Florida while knowing my best friend could potentially be an evil vampire who is killing a bunch of people in Seattle is not exactly what I want to do... and going with Edward and Bella would already be hell, add that to the fact that my mom legit doesn't believe that I have a boyfriend... I'm lucky that Rose made a call and didn't let me bring my knife, because I would have stabbed someone with it by now.

"Look." I pulled up a picture of Jasper, Alice and I that we took after prom last year. "See? That's Jasper."

"Who's the other girl?" My mom asked, pointing to Alice with her freshly manicured hand. "The short, pretty one."

"The only other girl..." I mumbled under my breath, before clearing my throat and speaking up. "That's Alice Cullen, Edwards, um, sister."

"And who is Jasper?"

"Wha-" I began, but closed my mouth and took a deep breath when Bella flashed me a warning look. "Jasper Hale. Edwards adopted brother, my boyfriend."

"Are you getting sunburned?" Reneé asked, lightly touching my cheek. "You look a little red."

"I don't know." I muttered, picturing Alice's face when she told me to go to Florida and relax. "It's better than Forks."

"Are you going to Alaska too? For university?"

"Actually-" I made eye-contact with Edward behind my mom's back. "I was thinking of maybe going to New York, or Michigan-"

"See, Bella? Courtney doesn't have to go to Alaska! Now tell me a little bit about Jasper."

Progress.

"Like, what university does he go too?"

"Oh, uh-" SOS! I yelled in my mind, hoping that Edward would save me from this. I don't freaking know, he probably went to some university in Texas in the 1800's or something! I could say Harvard and make mom cry with happiness, but then she'd want proof which I don't have.

"Jasper is actually taking a year off before going to university." Edward jumped in, smiling in that charming way Edward's do. "He is hoping to get into Dartmouth next year."

Dartmouth? I thought, giving Edward an amused look when my mom wasn't looking. We both know Jazz isn't smart enough for that.

"Well isn't that lovely? You girls sure know how to pick them!"

"Maybe we get it from you." I muttered sarcastically, but mom just grinned. It dawned on me that this would be the last time Bella ever saw her before she was turned... I don't understand why my sister can't just have a little patience and actually do something with her life before it slips away...

"Oh, this is nice. Hanging out with my girls! You should soak up as much sun as possible before you have to go home."

"Yeah-" I leaned back in my chair, smiling to myself. "We should."

"And girls-"

"Yeah?"

"I love you both so much."

Bella and I shared a look, only then did I notice the tears brimming beneath her sunglasses. She didn't want to say goodbye... and neither did I.

"I love you too, mom."

***

Jasper was waiting for us when we got to the airport the next day. Airplanes always make my knees wobbly, so I was partially hanging off of Edward for support. I spotted his blond head among the crowd, and felt a smile on my face as we scooped me up and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I'm like, super jet-lagged so if there's important stuff then you should probably tell me later."

Jasper grinned, his amber eyes glittering and gorgeous even under this less-then impressive lighting. "I'll fill you in when you're less loopy."

"Merci! Don't respond in French because you know I can't understand you."

Jasper sighed, looking over my shoulder and taking in Bella's downcast expression. "Will do, love."

***

The next day at school, I drove with Edward because he actually has a car that can reach the speed limit. When we pulled up to the school, however, a frown pulled at his lips in a resigned sort of way. "If I told you to stay in the car would you listen."

"Nope." I popped the P with my mouth, swinging the door open and hopping out, automatically realizing why he wanted us to stay in the car. Two motorcycles were parked right in front of the doors... with two burly figures standing next to them.

"Paul! Jake!" I grinned, earning my fair share of weird looks as I jogged over. Paul smiled, taking a step forward to encase me in a bone-crushing hug that made me forget how to breath for a few seconds.

"There you are, I was beginning to think you were-"

"Dead." Jacob cut in, rolling his eyes. I made an effort to mock him, crossing my arms and jutting my hip to the side. Jake smiled a very small small, but erased it when Bella and Edward walked over.

"Charlie said you left town." He stared right at Bella, and I stuck my tongue out, stepping to the side next to Paul. The heat literally radiated off of him, and it was reminding me of Arizona.

"I'm going to university." I said to Paul, who relaxed like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. "I'm staying human long as possible... I might not even turn, I- I haven't decided."

"If you don't, you'll get to hang out with us more which in my opinion is a major plus."

"Oh yeah, one hundred percent."

"I'm here to warn you." Jacob took a step forward, and Paul tensed. Oh no... there is no way this is going to end well for anyone.

"If your kind come on our land again-"

"Wait, what?" Bella and I blurted in unison, sounding like the World's most stupid twins. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Emmett and Paul had a ... misunderstanding." Edward muttered.

"I don't know what's not to understand!" Paul snapped, and I placed my hand on his bicep when people began staring more then they already were. "It's okay."

"They have the right to know... they're who the red-head wants."

"Victoria?" Bella demanded, the little color in her face draining.

"That bitch is here? Still?"

"I was trying to protect you." Edward spoke to Bella, and I rolled my eyes. "Love you too, Edward."

"Both of you."

"By lying to me?"

Okay... this is turning into a soap opera right before my eyes.

"Okay, we are going to talk about this, but why haven't you called me back?" Bella rounded on Jacob. I pitched in my own weak "yeah."

"I had nothing to say."

"Bullshit." I turned to Paul. "Is Embry still pouting about when I beat him in an arm wrestle."

Paul smirked. "Yeah, we should probably tell him that you're stronger than normal humans."

"Or we could just go over there now and make him feel worse?"

"Courtney-" Edward began, but I held up my hand, and he shut his mouth. "Tell Mr. Molina that I'm sick." I requested, before sauntering off and climbing onto the back of Paul's motorcycle. 

A/N: Okay, here's my problem... 

 I am fourteen! I have never kissed anyone before in my entire life, which might be sad I don't really know... anyway, I have never kissed anyone, so I don't really know how to write kissing scenes, which is sad because Jasper and Courtney need more of them! 

 So if anyone is interested in giving me some advice, that is very welcomed and I will make sure to thank you in the next chapter! 

 Lots of Love, 

 Jess