Chapter 35: Rant It All Away

With the coming of a new place to live, the time for chores has arrived and that leaves everyone hard at work. Splinter—redressed in his usual kimono—sweeps the checkered floor of the pizzeria. April rolls up a sleeping bag, placing it back on the couch and patting it down before surveying their work.

"Looking good, guys," she says. "Pretty soon this place will feel like a real temporary home!"

"We just need a few more decorations," Michelangelo calls. April glances over at the sub-par drawings he's put up. "What do you think?"

"Yeah..." she says, dragging the word out as she folds her arms behind her back. She smiles a little as he keeps awaiting her judgement. "I think it looks great."

Splinter moves by, sighing heavily as he stops sweeping. April and Michelangelo frown and scoot a little closer to him, concern making their foreheads wrinkle.

"You okay, Sensei?" Michelangelo asks.

"Hm?" He perks up, but his face falls again after a moment. "Forgive me. My thoughts are...elsewhere, Michelangelo." He moves to the boarded windows and looks outside as Kraang droids march past. "It is very dangerous out there. Casey and your brothers have been gone for a long time." He pauses. "Destiny did not return home yesterday. I do not like this feud she has going with Leonardo."

"They'll bounce back, Sensei," Michelangelo promises, although he hates the absence of the wolf girl just as much as his father. "It's not like they can stay mad at each other for long."

April rocks back on her heels. "I just hope that she hasn't thought of going after Diaval by herself." Her pupils swivel upwards as she rethinks over what she said. "Never mind, of course she's thought of it. I hope she hasn't actually done anything."

Splinter's ears pull back against his head and he adjusts his grip on the broom. "I feel the same way, April."

----------

"How's the new lab set-up?" April asks as she wanders into the back room.

"Ehh, kinda makeshift," Donatello answers, looking around his space in the pizzeria. He's already spread his few scientific belongings on a table and he holds a vial of orange liquid in his hand. "I'm brewing a batch of retro-mutagen that I started back at the farmhouse. It takes forever," he sighs, slumping back in his office chair.

"And then we can mutate my dad back?" she asks, almost desperate. "Um, hopefully for good this time?"

"Well, that's the plan," he answers, swivelling to face her with a gentle smile. "And we'll fix everyone else who got mutated, including Karai."

Standing side by side at the doorway is Master Splinter and Michelangelo. Splinter's gaze falls and he glances towards the outside world.

"Karai..." he repeats.

"Aw yeah!" a voice from the underground exit calls.

Raphael, Leonardo, and Casey climb out of the hole that they created as an exit. Each boy holds boxes crammed with belongings.

"I got one word for you," Raphael starts. The trio poses heroically as the turtle crows out, "SCORE!"

"You did it? You managed to sneak back into the lair?" April gasps, her smile getting brighter by the second.

"Yo, Don, check it out! Got you some sweet chemicals!" Casey says, handing the techy turtle a box of equipment.

"Oh, wow, awesome!" Donatello gushes, setting the box on his lab table and starting to dig through the items like a child on Christmas.

"And even though the Kraang were mad-dogging us the whole time, we didn't forget Mikey's big request," Casey continues. He sets his second box down and slides it over to Michelangelo with his foot.

The orange-masked turtle bends down and opens the flaps covering the top. Inside sits his most precious item in the entire lair, his television set, and his joy at seeing it is so obvious that the others can practically see static buzzing in his eyes.

"Tee-veeeee!" he celebrates, lifting the TV into the air. "Now we can watch Crognard again! Aw, yeah!"

He leaps around, spinning and dancing with reckless abandon. Donatello sighs and sets a beaker down as the orange-masked turtle twirls by.

"We got you something too, Sensei," Leonardo says, reaching into his box and pulling out a red picture frame. He hands it to his father, allowing him to see his human family photo.

"You are a good son, Leonardo," Splinter replies. He pauses to look at his eldest son. "What else did you get?"

He sighs and looks down, jostling the box in his arms. There's a few tattered novels nestled amongst a few other items. "Some of Destiny's books...nothing special."

He heads off to the "living room" without another word, prompting his family to trail along after him. Michelangelo wastes no time once inside. He sweeps a few salt and pepper shakers off a table, smacking the TV down and standing back to admire his work.

"What an awesome home we have! It's even got the new home old smelly pizzeria smell!" He giggles. "Mmm...pizza..."

He skips to the kitchen, where he's baking up some fresh pizza. He opens the oven and licks his lips at the sight of cooking pepperoni pizzas. His stomach growls as his mouth waters.

April settles down on the couch, shifting in place. Casey perches on the back of the furniture, feet braced against the cushions.

"It's still a little cramped for my liking," April admits.

She glances over to her side, seeing Casey looking at her. He looks away instantly, as does she. She smiles lightly to herself.

"Home for me will never be complete without my daughter," Splinter says softly. He looks up. "Both my daughters."

Leonardo tenses and pretends to be enthralled with packing novels into Destiny's Space Heroes backpack. It's bad enough that they had a fight. Her being off on her own doesn't make it any better, and yet he can't bring himself to chase after her and drag her back home. It's a struggle he'd rather not engage in.

"Honestly, I don't think looking for Karai without Des is the smartest thing to do," Donatello comments. "I've got a mutagen tracker, but with her hearing and sense of smell, it'll be safer for all of us if she's got our backs." His brown eyes fall on Leonardo's mask tails, the pointed stare enough to make his brother's skin tingle. "I think some apologies are in order."

"There's nothing to apologize for," the blue-masked turtle says. He packs a worn novel into the bag maybe a little too forcefully. "If she doesn't want to be a part of this team, fine. She's not my problem."

"Leo..." Michelangelo says, shifting in place. His baby blue eyes shimmer as he fiddles with his hands. "Desti-bear is family. You should talk to her."

"I don't have to do anything," Leonardo mumbles.

Splinter arches an eyebrow at his son. The teenagers share quick yet uncomfortable looks, as if asking someone to do something. Donatello takes charge.

"I'll go see if I can find her," he says as he gets to his feet. "I'll watch the streets and hurry back if it gets too dangerous."

"Maybe Leo can go blow off some steam or something while we figure out a plan for Karai," Casey suggests, tugging at his hood as he speaks.

"Sounds good!" Raphael agrees. He saunters over to his brother and smacks his shell. "Come on, let's go spar in the tunnels."

Leonardo sighs but still obliges to the offer, following his red-masked brother away. Donatello murmurs something to Splinter, and only after earning a nod in response does the turtle retrieve his bō staff and head out in search of their missing wolf girl.

----------

He counts himself lucky when he does manage to find her, after ducking Kraang and whatever else prowls the streets nowadays. Destiny sits in a secluded, tucked away spot that's void of windows and prying eyes. She leans against the brick of the building behind her, focused intently on the tip of the stick that she maneuvers around in the gravel. She'll finish a stroke, pause, then growl and sweep it all away with a groan.

"Destiny," Donatello states as he drops down in front of her. She startles in place, claws unsheathing, and he holds his hands up. "Woah! Hey, it's just me..."

She relaxes, but only just. Her claws retract and she slumps back against the building, tilting her chin towards the sky. "Did you come to lecture me?"

"I came to see how you're doing. Everyone's worried," he admits, continuing towards her.

"Aw, that's sweet," she mutters. "It only makes sense, since I'm such a naïve little child and I obviously can't take care of myself."

Donatello frowns. "None of us think that."

"Leo does," she retorts. When he doesn't offer a response, her frown becomes more saddened and she heaves a long breath. "Donnie...does Leo hate me?"

The purple-masked turtle sits down next to her, hooking his arms loosely around his knees. "Y'know, I'd be surprised if he does." She purses her lips and his pupils dart to her for a second. "Do you want him to hate you?"

"Sometimes I think it'd be easier to handle if he did," she whispers. She tilts her mouth towards her knees, still tapping the stick against the rooftop. "Donnie?"

He almost smiles a little at the tentative way she says his name. "Yes?"

"I need two things from you and I want honest answers."

"Okay," he agrees, "but in return, I get to ask you a question."

"Deal."

"Ask away."

"I want you to imagine something," she starts. Her eyes are distant, like she's already lost in her imagination. "Imagine that the first time you met me was on the night that I..." She takes a long breath in. "I...hurt you."

He tilts his head as he turns it to face her. "Okay."

"Would you still try to help me or would you treat me like a villain, like I'm evil and that's all I'll ever be?"

Donatello doesn't answer right away. He wishes that it was harder for him to understand why she's asking him something like that, but it isn't. It's very clear to him, gut-churning worthy. He exhales heavily and closes his eyes, already feeling his heart clench.

"No," he whispers. "I...I would want you to stay as far away from me and my family as possible."

Destiny lets out a weak laugh. "Exactly," she breathes as her eyelids flutter shut. "Exactly..."

"You think I'm a hypocrite," he says, his mask tails waving as a breeze blows past.

"Maybe, but I'm a hypocrite too," she replies, jabbing the stick hard enough against the ground that some of it splinters. "It's helping me understand a little more about perspective, that's all."

"Second question?"

She takes longer to ask this one. She had the first one ready, like she had rehearsed it over and over, but this one is brand new. This one feels rickety and unstable, like a rope bridge swinging precariously over a foggy canyon.

"What did Diaval do to you?" she finally asks. Out of her peripherals, she sees Donatello's hands tighten around himself. "What did he do that was so terrible that you can't move past it?"

Oddly enough, Donatello gives the answer easier than he did the last. He takes a breath, he summons the memory and lives through the replay, and explains. "He shot Splinter."

Destiny looks at him completely for the first time since he arrived, the colour drained from her face. "Shot? Like...arrow or...?"

He nods. "Splinter was tricked into Shredder's lair while the guys and I took on this Technodrome. Diaval was at the battle, and until that night, we thought he was just another soldier." He purses his lips, staring down at his lap as melancholy invades his countenance. "We underestimated him. Splinter was already hurt from battling Shredder and Karai, and when he went into retreat, Diaval shot an arrow that impaled him right through the shoulder. We got back from putting a stop an alien invasion and our father was hurt. Bleeding, exhausted..." he trails off slightly, swallowing back something that's making his words waver.

"But...that's it?" Destiny asks, scooting closer to the turtle with an almost desperate tone in her voice. "You could forgive him for that, couldn't you? It's...just..." She doesn't finish her sentence, her stomach tied in knots. Donatello doesn't look at her. "No...you can't."

"Diaval was the first person aside from Shredder himself and maybe Karai who had managed to hurt Splinter that badly," he says. "He had shot at us before, sometimes grazed us, but he never engaged in close combat. We underestimated his abilities, and after Splinter's injury, we vowed never to do that again, not for any of our enemies. But, Diaval..." He shakes his head. "He's a wild card. None of us are ready to trust him, not when we don't know the extent of what he can do, not when he used you."

"Shredder used him too," Destiny whispers. Her ears droop and she reaches over, brushing his arm. "Thank you for telling me, though. It's...cleared some stuff up."

"Can you accept it?" he asks. She purses her lips. "Yes, he's your friend. I'm fine with that, because he really does seem to care for you, but you have to accept that he isn't friendly with us and that probably won't change for a long time."

"I can," she says. A few beats of silence trail by, broken only by the rustling of trash being pushed by the wind and buildings creaking. She shifts. "Uh...what'd you want to ask me?"

The intelligent turtle's face darkens with concern. It's enough to make him look a few years older, more mature and hardened. "What really happened between you and Leo?" he asks. Destiny's ears droop and he shrugs half-heartedly. "All he said is that it was over between you. He refuses to talk to us about it, but he still..." She bites her lip and he changes his words. "I need to know."

She sets her stick at her side before hugging her knees to her chest. "I broke up with him at Christmas. I was still sick and I felt like...like I was a burden to him, being his girlfriend but not being there for him," she says, unable to make her voice louder than just above a whisper. "I thought that, if I broke up with him, he'd be free to move on if I never came back."

"But you did come back."

"Yeah." She flicks a fleck of dirt from her jeans. "I...guess I also feel too young to handle a relationship. I hardly knew what having friends was like before I met you guys, much less romance and..." She sucks inwards, blinking rapidly. "I don't know anymore, Donnie. I didn't think that I'd still feel like this after all this time."

He sighs as his gaze grows distant. "Believe me, Des, I get it. It...sucks."

Destiny slumps against his shoulder, his head tilting down to rest on top of hers. They take deep breaths at the same time, letting them out in long, discontented whines.

"Why is love so stupid?" she asks.

"I wish I knew," he murmurs.

More silence passes them by like they're nothing more than stones in a river. Destiny shuts her eyes, ears swivelling to any sound that comes along, and Donatello just tries to exist without thinking for once in his life.

"Are you going to try and save Diaval?" he wonders, feeling her tense against his arm.

He doesn't look at her expression, but it doesn't take a genius to know that she's probably frowning, her wild green eyes narrowed with slight determination and guilt. "I can't leave him alone. I have to try."

"Des, think for a moment," he says, sitting up and twisting his body so that he can comfortably grip her shoulder. He stares her in the face. "Breaking someone out of Foot HQ isn't easy, even with a team at your back. You might never come back if you go in there."

She doesn't break eye contact as she dons a weak, sorrowful smile. "None of you are going to try."

"Because it's too dangerous."

"You did it for me."

"But we're hypocrites and we feel differently about you than we do about him." Her lips form a trembling line and Donatello slumps, his hand drifting down her arm and falling to his lap. "I'm sorry, Destiny, but you asked me to be honest. We love you. We don't love him."

"But I do," she whispers. She pushes herself away from him, snatching up her stick and swinging it as she gets to her feet. "I need to be alone again."

"Destiny—"

"I won't go after him alone," she interrupts. "I just need you to go home so that I can think without distractions. I'll come home later."

Donatello stands, takes a half-step towards her, but halts. He scuffs his foot against the rooftop, begrudgingly nodding his head.

"Alright," he murmurs. "Keep your t-phone on, okay?"

"Okay."

The next time she turns around, he's gone.

----------

"She's so stubborn. Seriously, can she just try not to get killed? Is that so hard to ask?" Leonardo fumes as he spins and throws his leg out, smacking it into Raphael's hand.

"I get it, Leo," Raphael says, dodging another blow and throwing a right hook.

"And she can be so shortsighted and hotheaded! If she would just see it from my side, maybe we wouldn't be having this stupid argument!"

"She's upset about Diaval. I know that we hate the guy, but I'd be upset if, say, Casey was the one who got captured."

"Shredder was going to kill her, and she didn't use the giant wolf that she can just so happen to turn into to explode out of his grip and smack him into the pavement. She could've died and all she can think about is Diaval."

"I know, Leo. It's tough."

"Diaval this, Diaval that. It's like he's all that matters to her anymore." Leonardo's usually collected voice falters slightly as his eyes burn with a fleeting emotion that Raphael can't read. "She doesn't even need me for her nightmares anymore. Diaval shows her visions of a forest and she's fine..."

Raphael swings around, sweeping his legs out from under Leonardo before pinning him, shrugging. "Her life doesn't need to revolve around you either. She's allowed to have other friends." He rolls his eyes. "Even if they're...Diaval," he says, for lack of a better word.

He gets off his brother. The blue-masked turtle pushes himself to his feet, brushing off his plastron.

"Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it bad if I just...want her back?" he asks. "Sure, she's with us, but I miss her. I miss the smiles and the hugs and...I miss her, and I'm afraid that I've lost her for good."

The red-masked turtle watches his brother closely. He notices the far off gaze he's getting in those ocean blue eyes of his, and he knows that if he lets it be, Leonardo will go all distant and meditative, unable to be reached. Raphael cracks a smile and saunters over, nudging Leonardo as he throws an arm around his shoulder.

"Come on, man. You're our fearless leader! You don't have to worry about stuff like—"

"She joined my nightmare," Leonardo says.

"Huh?"

"I have a recurring nightmare. You and the guys are dragged off into darkness one by one, and I'm powerless to stop it. Destiny was never there until she ran off to Canada. She's killed along with you guys and I can only watch." He looks up at the ceiling. "I don't want to lose her."

Raphael's shoulders slump a little. Leonardo shuts his eyes, brushing off his brother's comforting arm and moving to the far side of the dark and empty tunnel.

"I know it's just a dream, but it's such a possibility with her that I can't help but worry. She can be...so irrational!" He grits his teeth and places a hand on the side of his head. "She just goes throwing herself into danger without a second thought, protecting us, and she doesn't stop to think for a second just how much it would hurt if something happened." He paces back and forth, throwing his arms around expressively as he talks. "Whenever she asks me why I care or says that she doesn't matter, it's another nail in the coffin. She just doesn't get it."

Raphael moves closer to his leader, unsure of what to say. Of course, Raphael has never been the kind of turtle to listen and be a shoulder to cry on, but sitting in a bathroom next to a heartsick teenage girl for three months can really change a guy. The red-clad terrapin will never admit that to anyone, however.

"Come on, Leo," he attempts. "Des is...Des. She has to figure some stuff out on her own. She's tough."

"Yeah, I know," Leonardo mumbles, defeated. "She's stronger than she was before. Not just in body, but in spirit, and I guess that..." His eyes meet Raphael's. "It's hard for me to realize that she doesn't need us like she needed us before."

Raphael narrows his eyes. "That's called character development, Leo, and it's important."

"It makes me feel like I have to try harder just to get her attention again. Like, when we met her, she was so unsure and weak and—" Leonardo notices the judgemental look he's getting and groans. "Okay, it made me feel all strong and heroic and...kind of perfect, in a way."

He purses his lips. "Okay, but no one is perfect. You aren't, Destiny isn't, and, as hard as it is to believe, I'm not."

That makes Leonardo smirk a little. "So you admit it? I guess Des isn't the only one changing."

"Pfft, I'm not changing," the slightly younger turtle snorts, crossing his burly arms over his chest.

"Raph, you just listened to me rant about feelings and you didn't just stand there and remain silent the whole time."

He narrows his eyes, trying to come up with some excuse. Unable to do the said action, he sighs in defeat. "That's only because I sat next to Destiny for three months while she cried over you. I've picked up on some comforting tips, but I'm still worse at it than anyone around here."

Leonardo's face twists with guilt as one hand rubs his weak knee. "Yeah...I guess so."

"Just try to work it out. She's allowed to have friends, you're allowed to be concerned about her, just try to be civil. I can't stand much more of you two being all cold to each other." He glances over at his brother. "And I can't take much more of your mushiness."

Leonardo laughs. "I'm glad you're here."

Raphael rolls his eyes, punching his arm lightly. "Yeah. It's what brothers do."

----------

Destiny paces to herself, kicking stray rocks across the rooftop as she watches the moon. The night is brisk and she regrets not bringing along an extra jacket or sweater. She keeps glancing down at the crude drawings in the dirt, the letter "d" marking the spot in Shredder's hideout where she believes Diaval is being kept.

Even as she looks at it, she feels a sense of dread creeping over her. What if she gets there and it's too late? What if she gets captured too? Her breaths start to pick up and she clamps one hand over her mouth, her knees buckling as she flops to the ground and tries to breathe normally.

"Wolfie! Psst!" a soft voice calls from the nearest alleyway.

She perks up, her heart still pounding, but she still creeps to the edge of the building and peers over the edge. Casey stands below, and he flips up his mask at the sight of her and flashes a smile. She sighs, climbing down a nearby fire escape and landing next to the hockey player.

"Hey Case," she greets sullenly.

"Hey wolfie. Listen, you gotta come back," he says.

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, her tail flicking. "Right. Okay. Good argument."

He groans and shuts his eyes momentarily. "Okay, not just because of Leo, alright? We need you to help us track down Karai."

She frowns ever deeper, if that's even possible. "I'm supposed to hunt down the girl who hates my guts instead of helping my captured friend?" She laughs harshly. "You're not winning any arguments."

"Give me a break, Des! I already spent an hour looking for you. Please? We all want you to come back." He tries to make puppy eyes, knowing that Destiny tends to soften whenever anyone she cares about uses them.

Sure enough, her gaze does soften to her more vulnerable look. "I'm sorry, Case, but I don't think I can right now. I said some awful things to Leo..." She shakes her head. "I've got more important things to worry about."

He frowns, stepping forwards and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Wolfie, dude...you don't have to do this alone."

She manages a pained smile. "Nobody else is gonna help me."

"I will," he retorts. Her face blanches with surprise and he winks. "Casey Jones is always up for a rescue mission."

"You will?" she repeats, her tail wagging so hard that it thumps against her thighs. "Really?"

"Totally." He pauses and holds up his pointer finger. "But...maybe you should come home first and see everyone. Then we can sneak out, go all James Bond, mission impossible." He flashes finger guns at her.

She laughs. "Okay, okay, you've made your point." Her stomach growls and she turns slightly red as her hand flies to her gut. "And...food would be good too."

"Sweet. Come on, girl, we've got work to do." He turns away and starts to jog down the alleyway, unaware that the wolf mutant hasn't yet followed him.

"Hey Casey?" she calls. He looks back and she takes the chance to catch up with him. Her ears flatten slightly as she bites her lip. "Is it...bad if all I want right now is for just one person to be proud of me? And not because of something stupid, like...I want to do something that makes someone proud. Just once."

He tilts his head, pouting his lips out slightly. "Nah...that's not bad, wolfie. It's human." She lowers her gaze and he grins, nearly scooting over to her. "Hey, come on. Does someone need a hug? Are you in an 'I'm sad and need hugs' kind of mood?"

She exhales a laugh, dragging her knuckles against her eyes. "Y-Yeah, maybe a little."

He extends his arms to her. "Come here, Destiny. Nobody has to know that the ever so fearsome Destiny was vulnerable and nobody has to know that Casey Jones gave out a hug."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She embraces him tightly. He returns it, patting the top of her head as she takes a deep, cleansing breath. She loosens her grip just enough to shift, her head nuzzling slightly beneath his chin.

"It's alright, Des," he says, tilting her face up to his. His dark eyes glint. "Diaval will be fine, especially after we rescue him."

"I hope you're right," she murmurs.

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