|| Won't ask you to stay, but let me ask you one thing: Oh, when did you fall out of love? ||

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NOW

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Emma smiles painfully at the scene in front of her, guilt filling her entire being. She knows it isn't her fault, but she can't help but feel like her heart is being brutally scooped out with a dull spoon. And by the man in front of her. "That's enough," she finally decides to step in and say, knowing that she will be the bad guy either way. "Daddy needs to leave," she tries to explain to her daughter, attempting not to break at the thought that his leaving was permanent.

Immediately Angelica starts crying harder, squeezing herself tighter against her father's body. "I don't want you to leave daddy!" Angie whimpers, her cries becoming desperate.

Aaron and Emma lock eyes, both filling with guilt at the scene of the family they built together falling apart. He bends down so he is eye level with his daughter. "I'm not leaving you forever, Angie," he promises her, his promise hollow as he lies. He hugs their daughter close to him once more before standing and grabbing the bag containing the last of his things.

Emma immediately bolts to grab their daughter and wrap her up, not letting her escape her mother's arms as Aaron gives them one last smile and closes the door behind him. Emma knows that this will be the last time she will see him in most likely a long time, if not forever. He's off to his new family, a new woman he wanted to make his wife and her children he would step in and raise as his own away from the family he already attempted at building.

Emma can feel herself breaking even further. One day she hoped they could be happy enough without him that she could explain the situation truthfully to their daughter, explain that while she wanted to say that it wasn't a lack of love that made him pull away - it was.

Because truthfully, Aaron left them because he didn't love them enough to stay. Emma tried her hardest to offer everything to him. She gave him herself, she gave him a daughter, she gave him all the love she could offer from her body. In the end, he found someone else and decided that it was a better offer. Emma wanted to feel appreciative that he did the right thing and confronted her, told her that he was unhappy and needed to get out of their marriage, instead of starting an affair and cheating on her. Yet, as she now looks down at the image of their crying daughter, she can't help but feel anger towards the fact that he didn't just want out of their marriage, he wanted out of the situation completely.

She continues to hug the small five-year-old close to her chest and finds herself letting out a loud sob. The two cry as they hold each other before Angie's cries gently stifle to small gasps of air. "Why'd he go?" she cries to her mother once she gets a hold on her emotions. "Why did he have to leave?"

They had spent months trying to explain to her that they weren't together anymore. They did everything right, they went through the legalities and he slowly packed his things as months went by and tried to leave her life quietly as possible, but essentially it had to get to this point where he is leaving without an intention to return. They trained to make his being gone normal, but in the end, they should have known Angie would react this way seeing him take his last bag and go.

"I'm so sorry honey," Emma apologizes to her daughter, not knowing what she could say to calm down the storm. Never in her days had she imagined she'd be put into the situation of becoming a single mother. She hasn't been single for a long time and never anticipated it happening for a while. Especially not this way. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this."

Eventually, Angie stops crying and falls asleep in Emma's arms, so Emma decides to move her to her bedroom where she can sleep peacefully in her own bed. Emma stands in the doorway, looking at her daughter's face. It would be just the two of them from now on, and she didn't know what to do about that.

Sucking in her breath she turns the light off and closes the door behind her, letting out the air she had taken in as she stumbled into the hallway sloppily. She tries to stay upright and keep the emotions down. She knew that this was happening. She'd known for over a year now, a year spent in hell. Still, watching the scene of her husband of six years actually exiting her life weighed heavily on her. The cries of their daughter echo in her mind as she moves to grab the phone and key in the number of her childhood best friend.

"Emma?" the voice on the other end answers, confused. "What's up?"

"I- uh." She takes a deep breath. "Aaron got his last bag together today and headed out. Angie was home because the babysitter canceled so she had to see it happen."

"Oh my God. Did she take it hard?"

"Cried until maybe five minutes ago when I put her to bed." Emma's eyes tear up again. Her voice croaks as she admits, "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now." She moves towards the living room and falls back on the couch, a soft sob escaping her body once more. "I just hate how I'm supposed to be here and strong for her when I can barely take it myself."

"I know you said that you said you wanted to have another Thanksgiving there with Angie and your parents like last year, but I think you should take her here," Katie suggests. "It could be good for her to see familiar faces. Her cousins, her uncles and aunts. Your parents could come down too. The entire extended family."

"Katie," Emma presses, eyes closed. "I don't know if that's a good idea. Flying there and back for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Especially now that we're a bit tighter on money with just me as the income."

"Don't worry about a thing, just tell me the flights and I'll take care of it."

"Katie."

"I'm researching flights right now. How about you stay over Thanksgiving into New Years. Get away from there for the rest of the year."

"That's even more expensive. I can't take that much time off of work."

"Take a sabbatical," Katie attempts. "You just got divorced, Emma. Your boss will understand a family emergency where you need to take your daughter and get away from that God-forsaken house. Isn't she divorced herself?"

Emma thinks over Katie's advice. Mandy, her boss, has been very understanding this past year and constantly giving supportive advice. She even offered to let Angie stay at her house on the day that the divorce was finalized so that Emma could mourn her marriage in peace without worrying about her daughter. But it was hard to imagine the support would go this far.

"I'll talk to Mandy about it. If she says yes, then I guess I'll do it."

Katie lets out a small happy cheer before the atmosphere once again goes somber. "Is there anything you need up until then? I'm not afraid to go there up until Thanksgiving and help you out with Angie if needed. As I said earlier, I think she needs to see more familiarity around her than just you."

"I couldn't even tell you. I'm so lost, Kate." Emma lets out a heartless chuckle. "I just want to be okay and I want her to be okay again." She hears a small cry from the other room and her head cranes instantly, motherly instinct hitting her at the sound of her daughter upset. "And she's awake again."

"Go take care of the little one. Call me tomorrow or just whenever Mandy gives it the go-ahead. I love you."

"I love you too," Emma responds before hanging up the phone and throwing it on the couch behind her she stands off of it. She maneuvers her way towards Angie's bedroom and opens the door to see her daughter sitting up in the bed, crying while holding the notebook Aaron had given her only last month, the last time he came to "visit" (or rather, collect more things to move out).

"Mommy," Angie calls sadly, her shoulders shaking but no sobs actually exiting. Emma feels her heart melt and immediately jumps to sit beside her daughter, tucking her against her side. "He said he'd come back, right?"

"He did," Emma says, smiling sadly and rubbing Angie's back reassuringly. "Is that the journal he gave you?" she questions, knowing the answer. Angie nods halfheartedly. "Why don't you use that to write him letters every day so that you can give it to him if you see him again," Emma offers, frowning at her own use of "if." She can only hope that Angie doesn't catch on.

Angie nods once more in response. "Okay," she finally says. "Can I please have a pencil? And help?"

"Sure, sweetie," Emma says, reaching to the desk and grabbing the fat pencil made for younger kids to grip onto easier. She hands it to Angie and watches as Angie puts the pencil to the paper and hesitates. "How about you start by putting the date?" Emma suggests.

Emma guides Angie in writing down her feelings to her father, helping to spell words Angie trips up on and making sure that the letter is properly dated. The writing is messy, as expected being written by a five-year-old who has yet to go into kindergarten due to her birthday being past the cutoff date, but the words are clear enough to read with careful inspection. Emma takes the journal and pencil so that she can place them back on the desk. "Do you want me to tuck you back in?"

As she tucks her daughter in and makes sure to kiss her goodnight, Emma vows that they will never go through another situation like this. She vows to never give her heart away so easily, as she had given it to Aaron. He wasn't the first relationship she had, their relationship wasn't the first time she experienced love, but it was the longest. Her mind wanders to her first love, a man she tries and fails not to think of often. She can't stop wondering what would have happened if they hadn't fallen apart. If the deal wasn't kept the same, if they had tried harder. Would she be sitting here tucking in a child to bed with him on her side, or would she be in a similar situation of tucking in her daughter as she cries about the loss of her father's affection?

She doesn't want to know. 

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If the title says "now" the main characters are adults. If it says "then" they are in high school. This book is not written chronologically. I originally wrote it that way so shout out if you read the original first chapter of this book and you're confused at the fact that this is definitely not Emma and Jack stumbling upon each other in Katie's house while they're both in high school lmao.