-Lucien-

Watching Kira fumble around an appology to Derryk was an interesting sight to behold.

It was the first full sentence I'd heard from her since her hangover yesterday. Save for a few snippy, defensive glances or words when she had to face me to come get the food Derryk kept sending to properly have her recover.

Her bedroom reeked with a variety of thick and depressing scents so I didn't even bother prodding.

Her apology to him was quickly followed by many attempts at making it up to him. Seeing her insist on doing his dishes for the day or stock his food stocks was perfect for my morning entertainment.

Of course, he denied her attempts an insisted her apologies weren't needed and that she was.

I left after it got boring and my meal was finished, taking some time out of my day to simply walk through the castle's gardens.

I woke up feeling... good. Not exceptional or anything, but good enough to be able to forget about my constant debilitating existence.

It let me go and offer help to my older sisters with whatever that had to deal with as the 'real' heirs, and my energy level was decent enough to let me get through all fo that without the need for a break.

I only saw Kira again when I went back to the kitchen for a very late dinner.

She was sitting in that same spot at the bar, awkwardly twiddling her thumbs or whatever while watching Derryk cook.

Her expression soured and hardened the second I stepped in, however.

Dunno what I did to deserve that, but it really wasn't worth dwelling on.

She's probably just embarrassed I had to carry her back. It didn't seem like she remembered much about anything else that she said to me.

If she did I felt as if she would have said something to try to cover her boyfriends ass by now.

Which kinda sucked because all of that was definitely something to be embarrassed about.

I sat down at my designated spot on the other side of the bar, keeping an eye on her just in case.

If this was where she chose to spend her days instead of in my room, I wasn't going to complain.

It kept her out of my hair. I just wanted to make sure she wasn't halfway to getting waisted again.

Once I smelled that she wasn't, I focused on getting my meal and enjoying my dinner in some peace in quiet.

Evie and Adi were eating with dad, Layla was probably off antagonizing the Vanderwoods, and all of the staff had already eaten.

So it was just her and I, and I hoped she just kept quiet.

To my surprise, she did. Not even sending me more than an occasional glance while she snacked on the bite-sized whatevers Derryk made her.

I liked my silence, and I liked my privacy to be silent. I just didn't like eating all cooped up in my room when I had the energy not to be. It was just something I did out of respect for the past and future me's that would be forced to stay stuck in my room.

It was these little things that I had to find my own enjoyment in, and so I did.

Or at least I tried. Of course with most things, this came with an interruption. Though not the one that I'd seen coming

The sound of the door opening lead me to turn my head, surprised to see my eldest sister walking in.

Her head swiveled over the entirety of the bar, her face dropping into something halfway devastating the moment she stopped me.

Not for her sake, but for mine. It was a look I was very familiar with.

Which was why the sight of it made my stomach drop.

I dropped my fork onto the table and turned my barstool to face her during her hurried approach.

She slowed during those final steps, attempting to regain some kind of composure before carefully laying her hand on my shoulder.

Her touch was always a comfort. I grew up with it being one of the only things that I could get comfort from to begin with.

That motherly contact I had nowhere else to get.

"Lucien I um," She rubbed her hand up and down the side of my upper arm, "Dad finally made a decision for that dinner with all of us."

My stomach twisted hard, any peace within my instincts shriveling into dust for that well-known panic-born chaos to ensue.

"Okay," was all I could manage to get out, my tone urging her to continue.

We both knew what that meant for me. How after the dinner he'd dismiss all of the girls, and leave just him and I.

He had things to 'check up on' with me. Those are the terms he puts it in at least. Then he just goes back to pretending like these bastard children he's been forced to care for just didn't exist.

He only called these types of dinners, with Layla and I, about every two months.

"The day after tomorrow... 6 o'clock." She breathed, that pitiful look of hers in full display in those blue eyes.

I could only nod, feeling my peace from today fall from my grasp while my heart sped.

It's not like I could say no. I'd tried before and It didn't go over well with him.

Her hand bunched into a nervous fist at her side

"Do you want me to talk to him? Or... Insist to stay after he dismisses the rest of us? He might listen to me this time-"

"Don't bother," I softly cut her off, knowing that the more she tried the worse it was going to make me feel, "He's gonna do what he always does. It's fine. I've dealt with it before and know what to expect."

My forced outward calm was slipping

I knew what to expect but it wasn't anything that wasn't gonna make me feel like I was on the verge of death.

Adeline had seen it all from her father. She knew him before and after the event that split our family into shambles.

She of course loved him, but rarely agreed with his methods when it came to... a lot.

"Lucien," She sighed, a small scold there too, "You shouldn't have to keep going through this. I-I know he's very stuck in his ways but..."

Her solutions died off, showing her as much as myself that solutions were useless whenever he was involved.

I agreed, but someone had to pay for moms crimes, and that weight had fallen to me.

I looked away from her, folding my tongue over the stud there out of nervous habit.

"He's gonna keep doing things his way no matter what," I reasoned with her instead, "It's a... price to pay to keep him out of my hair until the next dinner, and it keeps him away from doing the same to Layla. I can take it if it means that."

Her lips pressed together tight, knowing that what I was saying was true. Horrible, but true.

"You're sure?" That soft worry in her voice dropped a heavy rock into my chest.

She cared too much. She did her best. She did whatever she could to keep this family together.

But there was only so much she could do in the long run until she eventually takes his place.

"I'm sure." I assured her, and as much as I wish it wasn't, it was the truth.

She heard that within me. I knew she always checked.

Which then just made her face become completely hopeless.

"Alright. I just wanted to give you a heads-up."

"I appreciate it, Adeline," I told her, "Truly."

Her smile was forced, but she nodded and made her quiet leave without another word.

I slowly turned back with a sigh, trying to regain control of my unbalanced instincts now that this new information had set them off, only to be greeted by a strange stare from across the bar.

Kira's eyes were narrowed in a strange sort of confusion, and an analytical gaze that may have pushed me a little further than I could handle given everything else.

"The fuck are you looking at," I bit.

She reared back, like she was surprised at the tone I'll admit I'd lost control of.

I didn't like these kinds of events happening in the eyes of others.

I didn't like my weaknesses being shown more than possible, and what she'd seen must have been too much for my internal liking.

"Dick," She cursed under her breath the second her go-to glare came back into action.

I glanced at Derryk, who was very competent at the skill of minding his own business, and saw that he was doing just that.

Looking down at my remnants of food, I knew that I couldn't handle eating a single bite more.