Alpha James

Alex's POV

We finally made it back to the pack just before sunrise, storing the beaten shadow-whatever-thing in the Academy cells located in the basement, guarded twenty four hours a day.

While I would love to just go home and roll into bed after a nice hot shower, I make do with grabbing a five minutes luke warm wash in the Warrior locker rooms, all the hot water gone already, though I'm not surprised. Johnathan decided to head to his parents house for a shower, the lucky bastard, the place only a five minute walk from the Village.

I wash myself in the not so hot water, and cringe when I feel Tobias stir, my stomach churning with shame as I find myself at a lose for words.

'Good, we're hone. I don't need any excitement in my life, this is just fine.' He yawns, oblivious for the sweetest of moments before he starts to notice the tension in my muscles. I consider ,for a moment, blocking out Tobias from my memories, wanting to keep my shame hidden and keep the pain away from him as well, but the idea gets pushed away before it can fully form. As much as I would love to pretend that the worst night of my life didn't, in fact, happen, it did, and as a Beta expected to produce an heir and Lune, I have to take responsibility for my failure.

For my inability to keep people around, one way or other.

I pretend that my tears are just water that fell into my eyes, the shower's water not even passing as warm anymore.

But I'm paralyzed on the spot as Tobias takes notice and curiously asks, 'What's wrong with you? Did we get possessed?' He snorts, but I don't have a response, and honestly I'm not much in the mood for jokes.

In fact, I think what I need most is just a nice long nap.

That would be heaven right now.

But instead, I force myself to turn off the now cold water and reach for one of the many free towels folded along the wall, the laundry basket across the opposite wall. When he's met with silence, I can feel my wolf shifting through my memories going backwards through time, he stops when he realized that we took down a group of shadows and captured one for interrogation.

'Fuck you for not waking me up. That's petty.' He informs me stiffly, as I expected he would've but I still say nothing, the silence settling down harshly on my shoulders.

I finish drying myself off before opening my locker nestled between the other members of James' circle, the metal storage lockers marked only by pack position, passed on from parent to child through the generations. I throw on my spare shirt and shorts I have stored here for back up times like this as Tobias searches deeper into my memory, going through the fight more than once offering tips on what he would have done if he was there instead.

He flips through the night aimlessly, not bothering to pause on anything with the fight out of the way, passing through the darkness of night to the flashing lights of the bar.

That is, until he goes back far enough that he understands why we left in the first place. He sees him.

I close my locker with a heavy sigh and make my way out of the locker rooms, making my way out of the main exit and towards the packhouse. Faintly I hear people calling me but I don't turn, my eyes on the ground as my heart breaks all over again as I witness last night through Tobias.

The moment when I saw him as he emerged through the crowd, eyes alight and glistening with mischief. I see the moment Tobias falls in love, so many thoughts and questions filling him at once. My heart squeezes at the memories, but I can't turn away, even with the pain it brings, his grace, his beauty, his fiery red hair and clear attitude to match. All at once it's like he's the most familiar and most foreign being I've ever met. He was breathtaking. And then it happens, when I go to him, when he realizes, and the moment my heart shattered and the life I was so ready to seize and finally live was taken away once more. Surprisingly no anger has come yet, only sorrow and pain, and some misguided hope that I hate myself for having as I experienced the pure hatred snd disgust my Mate felt when he realized who and what I was to him. What he was to me.

My everything.

I can no longer pay attention as Tobias watches him run away, and my futurible attempt at chasing him.

And for the longest he doesn't say anything, even when the fight comes back around. Instead, I feel him crying the pain I was feeling before tenfold, wishing I could spare my wolf the pain of rejection as well. The grief is palpable and suffocating, a dark cloud engulfing my essence as I struggle to find the energy to at least have this meeting. To just hold it together for a little bit longer.

'He doesn't want us? No, that can't be right....' Tobias says, and then there's nothing, and it's a struggle as I attempt to keep my eyes dry as I keep walking, making my way towards the Pack House. I do my best to close down that avenue to thoughts, knowing that I have a job to do at the moment. As the Beta of the Autumn Falls pack, it's my duty to protect our people and make sure that no harm comes to the Elder Council and families of our pack. I can't do that if I'm holding a pity party for Tobias and I, worried about our own selfish problems. My heart will be just as broken when I leave the meeting, no point in dragging anyone else with me, I think to myself wryly. I manage to quell my racing thoughts and churning stomach, reminding myself of the news I'm to be sharing with the others.

I finally make my way to the packhouse, and weave my way through the wolves gathered in the living room hanging out, waving offhandedly as I ascend the stairs. On the second floor, I find Johnathan only just passing through the office doors, barely beating me here but looking a lot better off, lucky shit.

Head Warrior Jeffery will use a video castor powered by mana to showcase the imprisioned shadow. We don't want anyone to know about the prisoner until we know what we're dealing with ourselves. Bringing it here would allow too many eyes and all of us going to the Academy prisoner would raise too many questions with not enough answers. I make my way towards the meeting room, a large office we emptied and turned into a space for us. I'm pleasantly surprised when I realize I'm the last one here leaving no time for pleasantries and questions, instead as soon as I take the seat to the left of James, he immediately begins as everyone settles in.

Tobias remains silent, and I try not to let my mind become consumed by the tragedy that has struck.

"Good morning, I know it's early to we'll keep this brief. Ladies, please let us know what you were able to get last night." He turns towards Zee, Rain and Timari that sit down on the right side of the table, the Elder being the one to start speaking as we all tune in.

"Yes, last night, the three of us went to the northern part of Revelia, in the Star Mountains, and checked out a few clubs and bars that gave us just the information we were looking for. Revelia, and Roma have both been recently overrun by Shadows though they've tended to fequent the latter more often. Apparently there's even been a few sightings of Shadows in the Capital and one confirmation in Vilin. The government isn't happy about them being in their front and back yards so they've been sending officers all over the country to control this surge of shadows." She explains, helping complete the picture that has barely started to take form last night before it all went to shit.

The commander picks up where she leaves off, Timari adding onto the story, her face the picture of focused intensity making the earlier feeling of this being bigger than we could've imagined seeming all the more likely. "But that's not all. Half of the officers that have been dispatched to take care of these shadow allegations have disappeared or been subjected to a possession. And while I'm the last to believe in things like ghosts, we can't deny these Shadows and the scary lack of knowledge we have on them." She emphasizes and she's right as much as no one wants to admit it.

"Did you run into any problems while you were there?" Cody asks curiously, he's always the first to worry, the Luna doing copious amounts of research in the Omega and the medical fields. He claimed that he wanted to give back to our home and community as much as they have given to him. He honestly is the mother hen of the pack, and while having a male Luna and a gay pairing in general in the Alpha lineage, is rare, the pack has come to accept and love Cody with open arms.

"No, thankfully, the most troublesome things we ran into was men who didn't seem to understand their place." Rain scoffs, and Zee's neck erupts in blushes making me think that the Hybrid restated her claim on her lover.

"Good." James nods as he looks over the report and notes Zee already managed to get together, the Elder always on top of everything around here. "But that does little to ease the panic I know we all are feeling. The world is woefully unprepared for an inside attack. After the first two hundred years with no more battles or attacks, Kaulike got lazy and docile, and in that wake, they've left all of us vulnerable and at the mercy of whoever decided they no longer want to follow the rules of the game. And that time seems to be approaching. And quickly. This isn't the time for speculation and uncertainty. We've experienced first hand what those Shadows can do and that was only a fraction of their strength. We have to be prepared." James reminds us, glancing around the table to drive his point home. He continues on with annoyance flickering his eyes, "It's clear Vilin is too concerned about projecting lack of control to consider warning public. We won't make that same mistakes." He turns towards Johnathan and I with another expectant brow. "And from what I've heard, you have some information as well. And maybe even something to help shed some light on this situation." James mentions, and there's a crease in his brow, a curious glint in his eye telling me he noticed that I went to Head Warrior Jeffery to check in instead of home. I can tell it hurt a bit and that he wants to talk, but I avoid his gaze, unprepared to deal with my own failed expectations and feelings, much less my alpha who I've seemed to disappoint more and more these past few years.

As if seemings to pick up on the tension, Johnathan directs the attention towards him as he starts a long winded- though entertaining rendition of how our night went.

I almost sag in relief when he omits the part about me getting my fortune read. Instead he tells of dancing, partying, and flirting causing everyone to groan and roll their eyes, but no one can quite hide their smile. Once again, Johnathan has unexpectedly saved me and helped me out. I used to lean on James for help in times like these, but lately with all he's had to do, building a life with his Mate and finally taking over the pack, it feels like he's too busy and too important to continue to deal with me and my bullshit the way he has been.

I don't resent him for it, I've been raised to expect it, but a selfish part of me was hoping it wouldn't happen until after I found happiness for myself.

I curse myself for my selfish bitter thoughts and try to pay attention to the laughter and teasing the has filled the room. Zee managed to catch my eye and while there's a spark of concern, she doesn't miss a beat as she calls out teasingly. "Sounds like you had a night packed full of babysitting." She snickers and the table erupts in laughter. "Hard to believe you got any work done."

"You wish." I snort, my bravado completely manufactured, my only desire to disappear into peaceful isolation.

"We found out that there's rumors of Shadows being bought and sold under the discretion of the Black Market- the one in Roma. Apparently the Port Mafia has been a middle man for whoever has been pulling the strings. Whoever the boss is, is also giving the Vilin Officers the run around making this investigation a lot harder than it needs to be. That, and we're beginning to believe that not all shadows we will encounter will be just regular shadows formed into human shapes and used as weapons. We believe that someone might be stealing people's shadows and using them for their own agenda." He reports, playing around with some paper clips strewn around the table as if the knowledge he just dropped wouldn't start a fucking war in a heartbeat.

I'm able to recover just a bit quicker than the others and give them the true bomb of the day as the sun starts to shine through the windows welcoming another day. "I also heard that a Witch saw her very own neighbor who seemed to be possessed, dragged away just last night." I pause as looks as tossed around the room. "And on our way back, we were attacked by a group of Shadows near the Northern Gate. We were able to subdue and dismember them until they vanished, but one held they're shape the entire time. And not only that, but..... the shadow had details, features. And most of all, it- or she- could talk." I admit, the confession sounding extreme and terrifying to my own ears.

I see Zee shake her head in mild disbelief.

James and Cody sit there stunned, though Cody looks a bit pale. He carries a heavier burden than all of us. Cody was kidnapped by an Enchanted two years ago, held hostage by her as his friends fought for him. I'm sure learning that those same beings can have their own conscious thought- much less communicate- could be a harrowing experience, indeed.

"Warrior Jeffery should be on standby to broadcast it to us so we can ask it questions and interrogate-" I continue but James stops me.

"No." He decides, his brows creasing as I watch him think and rethink whatever is swarming in his head a million times. Finally he says, "I will talk to the Shadow first. And everyone needs to get a report in by tonight so I can send off this information to our allies. I haven't seen or heard enough to warrant a meeting after all this time, but if we don't act swiftly we could end up in a situation dire enough that it may be too late. Everyone stay alert and keep your ear to the ground. Thank you for your help." James says, nodding to all of us and I relax, the anxiety that's been building all night finally disappearing.

We spend the next few minutes going over some details and plans for the week, and by the time the meeting ends at six thirty, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Knowing it's better to do it now and get it out of the way, I take the next two hours to do my rounds on the beach. I listen to every one of my warriors stories and jokes, knowing that connection and bond is important in any group's morale, no matter how much I want to fall asleep in their face. Finally when I only have a few moments before nine hits, I'm able to drag myself through the door of my home.

I'm exhausted when I haul my dirty booze scented ass to the shower and flip the water on, discarding my clothes on the floor, leaving it for later me.

I let the hot water wash over my body and just stand in the onslaught of the rain shower letting the water beat down on my body the way this never ending day has. And for a moment I almost forget that I have a broken heart until I remember the face that will haunt me for the rest of my days and the reaction that killed me a thousand times over in seconds.

Shutting my eyes only makes it worse.

So I just stand there, staring at the wall blankly as I reconcile with the fact that the world as I know it seems to be crumbling down around me. And I'm the only ones that seems to notice.

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Okay I know I know Alex is a little more depressing and angsty right now than he was but that's on purpose. honestly he and Chloe were toxic before and Alex gaslight himself out of truthfully feeling all that was going on inside him. This sets up for a more honest and open relationship.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Funimation or Crunchyroll?