Sans never was one for birthdays. Naturally Cheshire's hid birthdays, so no one outside of their family ever celebrated. Sans liked it that way. If his friends somehow managed to find out his birthday and celebrated it, he probably would have dusted away on the spot from embarrassment. Both he and Kitty didn't like being the center of attention, and having an entire day celebrated about them, even with a few friends, was a bit much. They were observers.

But what would happen if the daughter of Snow White, the most popular person in the world, had a birthday?

Chaos. Utter chaos.

It was practically a holiday. People were talking about it for weeks. The school decorated and celebrated it. There was an entire club dedicated just for Alphys' birthday. Frankly, if that wasn't going overboard, each school lunch was served with a piece of custom made birthday cake. There was even an assembly where Alphys was just cheered on for far too long.

And every second of the day Sans could see she was utterly miserable. Her smile looked so forced it almost hurt just watching. He caught a glimpse of her crying in the bathroom with Shyren comforting her. Shyren was a pretty cool monster; she was rather shy, so she was one of the few Royals that understood Alphys. They didn't talk much, though, and Shyren wasn't looking to become friends with her.

There wasn't much any of them could do to help. They tried to sneak her away at every moment, but it was school policy to celebrate it. Seriously? It was in the rules to celebrate a girls birthday who didn't even want to celebrate it herself?

The day wasn't fun for any of them. Grillby seemed always out of his element (pun fully intentional), trying to slip out a book at any possible moment. Papyrus tried to help make Alphys happy like the good Samaritan he was, but it didn't go well with her constant bad mood. Undyne was oddly absent, which... now that he thought about it, that sounded like a good idea. For her next birthday, he was suddenly going to be ill. Very ill.

'SOS, NEED HELP - Undyne'

Sans looked down at his mirror, the sudden message startling him from the class. It was just after lunchtime, in Defense and Attack class. It sounded fun and adventurous in theory, but for Sans, he didn't like fighting. He just teleported around until he got a decent grade in their spars, then waved his white flag. No one really lifted an eye, he was a Cheshire. Cheshires didn't fight.

Papyrus continued to talk to Mettaton in front of him, the robot mostly just replying with snippets about himself as two other monsters fought in the background. Sans, making sure the Professor wasn't looking, slowly grabbed the mirror out of his bag and typed away to reply.

'What do you mean? - Sans'

'HELP - Undyne'

'NOW - Undyne'

'PLEASE - Undyne'

'I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME UNTIL SHE COMES OVER - Undyne'

'What? - Sans'

'COME OVER - Undyne'

'NOW - Undyne'

Did she mean to her house?

Almost instantly after that thought crossed his mind Undyne sent her address and how to get to her house from the school, texting him in more frantic texts to come over.

'I'm still in class - Sans'

'Aren't you in fighting class? You skip half of the time anyway - Undyne'

That was actually pretty fair. Sans tended to skip after his fights were over. A baseline of a C was a good grade for him, once he got his average score for that day he just teleported into a tree and didn't participate any further.

'On my way - Sans'

'Have ketchup prepared - Sans'

~~~~~~

Her house was run down, barely held together by some sort of luck. One side was tilting, and Sans could even see two logs pressed together by duck tape of all things. It was a little hard to find, admittedly, as her house was tucked away into the heart of the woods. It took a bit to teleport to, and that was with the address.

Wait, Undyne couldn't teleport. She had no magic, no drivers license, nothing. How did she get to school on time every morning?

Sans barely knocked on the crooked, old front door before it was slammed in, the force enough to cause the entire house to shudder. There stood Undyne, a frantic look in her bright yellow eyes, and her hair messier than her front lawn.

"Um, the bottom of your hair looks burnt..." Sans said quietly, pointing to it.

"Yes, I burnt it a few times!" Undyne said, pulling out a bag of ketchup and practically slamming it into his arms. "Here's your stuff! Get in here!"

Before he could make a sound other than a squeak, she suddenly dragged him into the small, cramped space, not bothering to even shut the front door before she was stomping off towards the kitchen.

"Shouldn't you close that, 'dyne?" Sans asked, gesturing to the front door. "Animals might come in. Other than me."

"There's already probably more animals and flies in here than out there. Let's go!"

Underneath his arms she planted her hands, firmly lifting up his body and hoisting him over her shoulder like a rag doll. Sans hung limp, knowing full well that Undyne wouldn't do anything to harm him. She just liked to carry people around.

The inside of her house was... well, what Sans expected it to be. He only met Gerson once before, when he had bumped into Undyne at a store, and he was what Undyne described him as. Loud, talkative, old, and a hunter. Each wall was mounted with so many animal heads there was more fur than paint. The thin, shaggy carpet was stained with several puddles of animal blood, some old, some new. An entire bear, which Sans could not stress enough how big the bear was, was just... sitting on a table, a large spear sticking through its head.

"Ah, Sans!" Gerson croaked from his chair, light bear fur decorating his rough beard. "Did you come 'ere to finally take a bite outta 'ol guss? We got 'en good feast tonight!"

Though his previous encounter with Gerson was quite defining, seeing him again was as surprising as before. Sans gave a curt wave. Gerson was interesting, he'd leave it at that.

"No, sorry," Sans said, "I've never tried bear, so you gotta... bear with me!" He shot out some finger guns towards the old turtle.

Gerson roared, tilting his head so far back Sans was worried for his health. Though, Sans didn't get much time before Undyne carried him towards the kitchen, practically sprinting despite the short distance. She skidded to a halt across the tiles, setting down Sans in front of the oven.

"I made a cake!" Undyne heaved.

"You sure did," Sans said.

There wasn't just one cake. Or two. There was at least ten, maybe twenty, littered around the small counters. Undyne's kitchen was barely big enough to fit four people, so there wasn't enough counter space for the several cakes she made, causing them to be stacked on top of one another. Most of the cakes were severely burnt, a few undercooked and running down the side of the counter onto the floor. Those that were frosted were obviously frosted when she must have just taken them out of the oven, so the frosting was now melting, creating a bigger mess.

"When did you frost these?" Sans asked.

"When they were in the oven," Undyne said.

"You... how?" Sans asked.

Undyne held up her hands, showing off several burn marks. "For some reason I panicked and thought if I frosted them before I pulled them out, that the frosting would... cook into them."

Sans looked at her, blinking a few times as he tried to understand her thought process. He couldn't.

"Shut up," Undyne muttered, looking to the side. "I know it was stupid, okay!"

"Why are you making so many cakes?" Sans asked, "Are you trying to make one for Alphys?"

Undyne, hesitant, still nodded. Okay, so she was celebrating Alphys' birthday. Why was she so desperate?

"I've seen you cook your deer and stuff for lunch, you're actually really good!" Sans said, "So why did these turn out so... like my life?"

"Don't say that, nerd, or I'll come over there and force my friendship onto you," Undyne said, "And I can cook meat just fine, but only meat. So things like cake and stuff with flour aren't my thing. This was the first time I've ever made cake."

"You do realize that she's probably eaten several pieces of cake today, right?" Sans asked, "And if you wanted to make a little surprise party for her, you should have asked Grillby and Paps to come over as well. Grillby works at his parents bar, he cooks a lot, he might'a been able to help with a cake."

"No, I can't- I-" Undyne fell silent.

Defeated, she turned, as if unable to admit it to herself. Instead of using her words, she instead demonstrated, pushing open the back door and gesturing for Sans to look.

A... setup?

Outside, past a small pile of animal furs, was a setup for a date. Nothing special, nothing grand. Two creaky, handcrafted wooden chairs pressed up to a wobbly table, with a candle that had long been extinguished from the wind.

Undyne liked Alphys.

"I was trying to make this a special date, but - oh, who am I kidding, this isn't going to work." She plopped down next to the open window, hands under her chin with her legs crossed. "Alphys is going to be here after school and I don't have anything."

"Hey, it's okay," Sans said.

"No it's not," Undyne grumbled. "This was a terrible idea. Alphys is a Princess, a cute one with this adorable snort and - okay, I'm getting ahead of myself, but she has every luxury to her. Her limo has an ice cream dispenser inside of it, and the entire school celebrated her birthday today! I thought I could beat them and make an awesome birthday cake to woo her and hopefully get Alphys to like me, but I'm out of my league. She's probably eaten some cakes made by gods."

"You mean professional chefs?" Sans asked.

"Same thing."

Sans cocked his head to the side. "Undyne, first off, if you don't know... Alphys is gay. She's into girls, so you do have a chance. Considering you're the only other girl she really talks to as a close friend, you might have a pretty good darn chance."

"She's really -" Undyne snapped her head up, "I thought she was joking, or -"

"And," Sans said, holding out his hands, "Yeah, Alphys has everything. She had several pieces of cake today, she has a mansion and a big bedroom, and I'm pretty sure I saw a pool inside of a pool at her house."

"Yeah, what's with that?" Undyne asked.

"I'm not sure. But lettme tell you - you can't cook cake. At all. You're terrible, and you don't have enough time to get any of these to work. Not to mention Alphys has had better cakes everyday." Sans helped Undyne up. "Just because you aren't good at some stuff doesn't downgrade your abilities in other areas. You might not be able to make Alphys a cake, but you can make her something else."

"The whole point of this date was to be a birthday celebration!" She objected.

"I think Alphys has had enough birthday celebrations for this year. 'Dyne, you should'a seen her today. She was miserable. I think if she has another birthday cake she's going to throw up. Not to mention how her Mom doesn't let her eat much meat. Make Alphys a birthday dinner instead."

"A birthday dinner?"

"Yeah, come on! Cook her up some of that bear, and just be yourself with her. Don't pretend to be anyone else."

"But she - she's rich! She has everything!" Undyne said, "And what if she doesn't like me?"

"You're trying to get her to go on a date with you, not anyone else," Sans said, "What do you want more? Alphys to date you, or Alphys to love you. If she doesn't like you that way, then you'll know. Don't try to be someone you're not. You don't like cooking sweets, you like to hunt and cook. Do that, don't bother with a cake. She's had enough."

"Yeah, yeah!" Undyne said, regaining her confidence as she stuck her fists into the air. "I got this!"

This time around, with her confidence, and a bit of Sans' magic to clean up the kitchen, the change was there. Undyne moved more firmly, dragging the entire (yes, the entire) bear into the kitchen. Once the bear was in there, it was rather crowded, but Undyne made work of it quickly. It was astounding to watch her move, Sans pitching in wherever he could to help this.

Hey, he was rooting for them. They'd be cute together.

"Before I go, here."

Once the bear was fully cooked, and Undyne had further prepared her set up, it was Sans' time to go. They were both his friends, but he didn't want to crash their date. He was here to help her get ready, not to help her through the event.

Sans had pulled open his bag and outheld a book. Since Alphys had been nice enough to give him a copy of a book, he had bought a new one for her he figured she'd like. It'd be better coming from Undyne.

"It's a small book, so she probably hasn't heard of it yet," Sans said, "I think Alphys would probably make out with you if you gave it to her."

"I don't think so, but thanks," Undyne said, "Not for just this, for everything. I owe you."

"It's what friends do," Sans said, giving her a thumbs up. "But if you just so happen to stumble across some more ketchup and bring it in tomorrow -"

"Done."

~~~~~~

The bear was a bit overcooked. Undyne had been nervous about it's time, no doubt. The water was taken from a creek, and while Gerson and Undyne could drink it perfectly fine, they didn't realize Alphys couldn't. So her cup of water, brown and stained, sloshed to the side, forgotten. Undyne gave her a book, but the edge had caught on fire from the flames of the candle. Then, halfway through the meal, Alphys had burst out crying.

Not from shame. From happiness.

This had been the happiest she's ever been.

"I-I love it so much," Alphys sniffed, holding the book close to her chest.

"The edge is still hot," Undyne said.

"I know, it hurts," Alphys said, breathing heavily.

Undyne leaned against her elbows, hesitant, but eager. "So you really... like me that way? Seriously?"

"Yes, yes I do," Alphys admitted, rubbing a few tears from her eyes. "But it'll be hard. I'm supposed to be in love with Mettaton."

"I know."

"We'll have to hide from everyone. I don't know what would happen if this got out."

"I know."

"We won't ever be able to come out to the public. I'm not even sure how long this can last."

"I know."

Their fingers, slow, intertwined. Neither pulled away.

"I'm fine with risking it," Undyne said, "As long as I'm with you."

Alphys breathed out, smiling softly. "Me too."

For the first time in her life, feeling more confident than ever, she leaned forward, planning on taking a kiss. However, as she had leaned too much on the unstable table, she ended up causing it to collapse, bringing Alphys down with it.

"Alphys!" Undyne said.

Alphys and the table plopped down into the mud below, splattering up the brown mush against her red and white dress. Alphys rolled over and snorted, giggling to herself at the irony. Her Mom would kill her if she saw this. Alphys, on a date with another girl, rolling around in the mud.

Frankly, this was the best day of her life.

"Oh my lord, are you okay?" Undyne asked, holding out a hand to help the lizard up.

Alphys reached up for her, but instead of getting up, yanked her arm down to bring Undyne into the mud. Snorting, Alphys rolled to face her, unable to stop her giggling as she fixed her glasses. Undyne quickly joined her, the two lesbians rolling around in the mud with one another, laughing their heads off.

"Kids," Gerson chuckled from the door, shuffling by with his coffee.

Oh, he recognized Alphys White. And he wouldn't tell a soul. 

《》《》《》

Yes, Alphys and Undyne are now a couple! Yay! Merry early Christmas I guess, decided to add an extra upload this week, hope ya don't mind.

Also, I made a thing on youtube. If you wanna head on over to check out more of my videos, that'd be epic, but enjoy the cursed video.

https://youtu.be/PeJivS5A2kE