Asking apologies cause there is nothing much in this chapter .

This happened exactly one year back on this day.

28/2/2019                                               COLLEGE DAY

Today is my college day, officially the last program of college in this academic year. Our state's most popular actor was coming to college for the program's inauguration. So this time, I got ready and reached early at college to get seats in the front row and also to watch Mr Cute's dance comfortably. Issa and I got a seat in the third row. There were only two seats, so we both sat there promptly, and the rest of our gang was seating four rows behind us.

The guest was coming in the afternoon, so it was said that cultural programs would be going on. Students from every department started dancing. The ones who didn't get the seat in the auditorium were standing on the side of each row, and it was really crowded. Our seat was at the end of the row. When the dance on the stage began, some space left in between the two rows of the auditorium also became crowded because students fled and came to stand in the empty space in the middle of the auditorium, between the two rows.

Asudden, I felt like so many people came and stood near our side to see the stage. To my surprise, even Shaym was there along with two of his friends. I instantly sat like a statue and didn't move from there while entirely concentrating on the performance that was going on the stage.

When that performance was over, he went from here with his friends. I then wondered when his dance would start cause that was the sole reason why I was sitting in the front seat.

The next performance's music and dance started, and people standing in the middle also started dancing, so I turned back to watch them as they were singing loudly and dancing according to the music beats.

All his friends were dancing, but to my shock, he was the only one who was not dancing. He was simply standing there like an idle who was not even moving.

Why is he standing like that?

After two performances, his friends were on stage, and their dance was about to begin. I searched and searched for him on the stage, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Oh, he must be entering the stage in the middle of the dance. I reassured myself.

When the dance began, I saw him standing in front of the stage, watching his friends dance.

What happened to him? Why is he not dancing?

I still believed that he would jump and go on the stage in the middle of the dance. But I was wrong. He didn't dance nor even move an inch from that place.

Shortly it was evening, and the program was near to end. After the last performance, all the senior boys got on to the stage, and the mandatory friendship song was played in the background. All of them stood on the stage, keeping their hands on the next person's shoulder, and gently moved together in a sequence, left, right, according to the music. It was such an emotional scene to watch, and unknowingly even I was sad by watching it. It was their last few moments in college, and they were trying to make their last program the best.

Some boys who were sitting on the chair also went to the stage when they saw this touching scene. But Shaym sat there on his chair, gazing at them. He was the only person who didn't get up from his place. It was quite unexpected as he didn't go to the stage to dance along with his friends. This was so unlike him. He was not like this. He was always a person to dance to his fullest on occasions like this.

Soon the program was over, and everyone started leaving from the auditorium. It was getting late, so we all thought to go home without wasting time roaming in college. When we were walking out of the hall, Mr Cute and his friends joined walking, following us in the back.

They all went to the garden wall, which is in the middle of the college. A small garden is made of stone, and there were two or three steps to enter inside it. But nobody enters as it has been built in a little taller wall which was only for a showcase. However, it was pretty as it was a wall covered with many flowers and whatnot.

All of my senior boys climbed up the small wall, stood on the step, holding each one of them, shoulder to shoulder, while singing the same friendship song that was played on the stage, and started swinging slowly.

Everybody rushed over there to take their video as this scene too was pretty emotional and heart touching to watch as it was their last day of college, and after this day, the exams were going to start.

Naiza... last day. Last day to see him freely like this.

I suddenly felt like I want to look at him and beam like a goodbye smile. I don't know why I had an urge to do something like this. But I wanted to. I really wanted to do something stupid, yet something satisfying for me.

The whole time, I watched him from a distance, and he looked so happy singing with his friends. I thought of saying this to my friends.

"I want to smile at him for the last time, like a goodbye smile. I always ignored him and looked away whenever I saw him. But today, I feel like looking at his face straight and smile."

Talha, Zuha, and Issa were the only ones who were with me. The rest of my friends went home early. They nodded and didn't say anything. I didn't expect them to support me for this stupid act which I was going to do. But I guess they understood my current situation and agreed. However, I was not ready for it, ready to stare at him directly and smile cause, for some unknown reason, I was scared.

"I think I should do it later cause look... he is busy with his friends and enjoying his last day. I think I will smile at him on the last exam or something," I spoke restlessly.

"No, Naiza... go and smile now. You may not get a good opportunity like this again." Zuha stated.

I told Talha to come with me near the place where they were now taking photos standing on the garden wall. He was more than happy to tag along with me.

While walking forward, I felt like Mr Cute was staring at me from there, and I got startled. I went back to Zuha, and Issa then said,

"I don't think it's a good idea. I think we should go to our home now as it's already very late."

"There are no buses here, so how will we go now? You just go near him and come back before the next bus comes," Issa stated.

Without pondering much, I again paced with Talha. And, this time, I was confident. Out of nowhere, I got so much courage to face him and smile.

Okay, Naiza, you can do it.

When we reached near the garden wall, Mr Cute instantly jumped off from there. Talha kept talking to me, and we walked past him. I didn't mind him when he walked near me and gazed down. I lost all my courage.

Stupid girl. I scolded myself.

He stood little near to us and was talking with one of his juniors, and I told Talha,

"Okay, let's do it."

We walked so close to him, and I sternly stared at him without any shame or fear for some time while walking, so that if he glanced at me, I would smile. But he didn't look back at me. I felt sad, and I was even damn sure that he knew that I stared at him cause that was how I looked. And still, he didn't glance in my direction. I was so disappointed and regretted doing this stupid act as I didn't get any response or reaction.

Like a fool girl who lost her senses, I wandered near the bus stop where my friends were waiting for me.

We all got on the bus together, and they both sat on the seat quickly. There were many seats left on the bus, and I could have sat somewhere. But I was not in my right mind at that time and stood near to my friend's seat like a complete fool for forty minutes.

When I reached back home and opened Instagram, I saw that the confessions page had posted many Sarahah messages, and like always, most of the messages were for Mr Cute.

"Why didn't you dance today?"

"A College day without your dance is a great loss."

"Shaym... will you come here for post-graduation?"

By seeing all these, I also felt like I should message him on the confession page. I wrote a small paragraph on how I felt and how sad I was when he didn't look at me and told him to take a Sarahah account himself so I can say the rest of things anonymously there because I didn't want all the students from my college to read the message which is directed to him.

I even told my friends about the anonymous message I send on The Confessions Instagram page. We all waited for that message to get posted on the page. But due to my bad luck, they didn't post my message and posted all other messages.

I waited for two damn days, and still, they didn't post. I thought of sending my message again to Sarahah. After a few minutes, they posted the message and tagged his name in the post. I got equally excited and scared. I waited for the post to have a like from his account.

After half an hour, I saw that he had liked the post and didn't comment nor do anything as I checked his profile to see whether he added any Sarahah link. And, how foolish of me to think that he would take a Sarahah account when I requested in that message. He didn't. Shaym didn't.

THE END OF SKIPPED CHAPTERS

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