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Control

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Chapter 25: Control (Grace's POV)

Should I ask again? To kiss him? 

"You really want to run, Princess?" he asked, his voice coming out slow and husky from the wine. 

I'm positive my state was the same. I nodded slowly. 

"You know what?" He sighed loudly. "I'm trying really, really, really hard... to convince myself that this." He gestured between us with a finger. "Can stop by the time our getaway is over. But..." He shook his head, his eyes closing. "What if I fall in love with you, hmm?" He lifted his gaze up to mine, raising a brow sharply. 

I trailed a finger down his jaw. "Then run with me." 

"But what if they come after you, huh?" He grabbed my waist and jerked me forward, pulling me closer until my hips rested on the very edge of the counter, my body pulled flush against his. I stared at him, my heart pounding at a steady beat beneath my rib cage. "What if I can't keep you safe then?" he questioned, holding one side of my face and using his thumb to stroke my cheek. 

"Then that's okay," I mumbled. "You tried." 

He pouted, "No." 

I smiled a little, I couldn't help it. He looked so adorable pouting, it's a sight I thought I'd never get to see. 

"I will kill every single person that tries to hurt you," he concluded. "That's a promise. No... it's a vow." 

"Are you sure you should be making vows to me, Mr. Stone?" I asked, hesitantly brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

He shrugged before leaning in closer, his lips hovering inches away from mine. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in, crushing his lips against mine. My hands instantly formed into fists, grabbing his shirt, while he used his other hand to grab the back of my knee and pull my leg around his torso. 

Our lips moved in sync as we built a rhythm, the butterflies in my stomach multiplying tenfold as he deepened the kiss before nipping at my bottom lip and then running his tongue over the burn. We're both losing control and we're losing it fast. We're drunk, that's not how I wanted our first time together to be if it even happens tonight. He broke the kiss and I took in a much-needed breath while he worked his way from my jaw, down my neck, to my collar bone in lazy, slow, possessive kisses that made my knees weak despite me being seated. 

Ronan sparked a reaction in me, both physically and emotionally, that nobody else ever has. I've never felt this way for a guy before, I've never felt such fire and such raw passion that burns with desire. 

My only other boyfriend was when I was only seventeen, and I knew him through Nina. It was more of an infatuation and puppy-love kind of thing. And even then, it didn't last longer than eight months. Eight months and I didn't feel anything remotely close to what I'm feeling right now. 

What Ronan made me feel in nearly a month's time, nobody could ever make me feel, even if the time was much longer. I broke out of my thoughts when I felt his lips on mine again, still demanding and desperate. 

That's what his kisses feel like. 

Desperate. Like he's kissing me as if I'm about to disappear any second. Like the world is going to disappear. Because even Ronan knows that eventually, we'll have to let go. Unless we end up falling in love and are determined enough to risk it all. It's too soon to tell right now, but bottom line is, I can never see myself with Lucas. But even now, so early and so soon, I can see myself with Ronan. Right here, where I don't have the burden of being a princess and he doesn't have the responsibilities of saving me as my bodyguard. We'd be completely different. I'd just be Grace and he'd just be Ronan. 

"Grace," he mumbled against my lips breathlessly before pulling away, resting his forehead against mine. We both took a minute to get ourselves together, the lustful fog slowly fading away. "We're drunk," he groaned. 

I nodded slowly. "Fair enough." 

"Another time." 

"Okay," I whispered in agreement. 

"That doesn't mean we can't kiss, does it?" he questioned. 

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "No. We can kiss." 

"Good." He scooped me up and I squeaked in surprise, putting my arms around his neck, staring up at him. He walked out of the kitchen and towards the staircase, heading up and to his room. I kept my eyes on him the entire time, memorizing every little detail of his face. From every little freckle to the tiny dimple on his chin that was barely visible. I didn't even realize he had it until now. I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw which made him stop in place. He looked down at me, a little surprised. 

"What?" I chuckled softly. 

"Nothing," he mumbled, smiling before walking into his room, kicking the door shut behind him. We laid down, staring at the ceiling for a while before he pulled me closer and hovered on top of me, straddling me with one knee between my legs, as he trailed more kisses down my neck, finding a spot he claimed his favorite when a moan slipped out of me. 

When we decided we had enough we just lay there and talked for a while. "Ronan," I whispered. 

"Hmm?" 

"There's somewhere I want to go tomorrow. I know you said I can't leave but... nobody comes there. We'll be safe. And we won't have to be princess and bodyguard either." 

He thought for a minute before asking, "Where do you want to go?" 

"The Astella lake. There's a spot there through the trail that nobody knows of. I remember going there only once with Atlas when we were a little older. I want to go somewhere with you where we don't have to hide what we feel. Just once. Can we go?" 

He stared at me, lifting a hand and tucking my hair behind my ear. "Hmm," he nodded softly. "We can go. Not for too long though, okay? We have to be back before sunset." 

I nodded in understanding quickly. He leaned forward, softly pecking my lips. The alcohol has nearly lost all its effect by now, so I hope tomorrow morning when we wake up, we're not too hungover and we remember everything from tonight. It would really anger and frustrate me if tomorrow morning he says he doesn't remember anything from tonight. I might kill him. 

"Have you ever been in love, Princess?" 

I shook my head. "No, I haven't. Have you?" 

He shook his head too. "Never." 

"I hope one day I am, though." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. The kind that makes your heart stop just thinking about that person. The kind where just a day without them feels lonely but every moment with them lights up your whole world. The kind where... you'd burn the world for them, you'd watch it burn too. I want the kind of love I'd give up an entire kingdom for, Ronan. I want someone who would not only die for me, but they would live for me. And... this is not what a princess should say, but someone who would even—" 

"Kill for you," he finished it for me. "Right?" 

I nodded slowly. "Right." I sighed softly. "I'm very selfish when it comes to love. I want a lot from that person." 

"You're willing to give a lot too, Grace. It shows. Your smile couldn't just light up, it could make an entire man's world. You could hold a lot of power over the man who falls in love with you. Anybody would do all that for you. You deserve it. But I don't deserve you." 

"What makes you say that?" 

He shrugged. "I've done a lot of bad things. Some of them come with my job, others I do just because I want to." 

"Like what?" I don't want him to hide his darkness from me. I want it all from him. The good, the bad. The light, the dark. The hero, the villain. Mostly the villain. 

"I have more hate built up in me than any other emotion. After what happened to my parents, I've resented everything a little bit, even if it's for no reason at all. I've killed people, I've hurt people. I want to kill some people," he scoffed out the last sentence. 

"But you didn't kill them," I pointed out. "You wanted to, they're responsible for what happened to your parents but you held yourself back, Ronan. You're not as bad as you think you are." 

He stared at me. 

"And even if you are a little bad, so what? I told you that everybody has a little darkness in them. I like you the way you are. Overprotective, overbearing, and too cocky for your own good." I rolled my eyes. 

He chuckled while I scooted closer, while he put an arm around my waist, holding me against him. He gently ran his fingers through my hair, kissing my lips softly, taking his time before pulling away. "Let's go to sleep, okay?" he whispered. 

I nodded softly, putting my head down on his chest and closing my eyes, ready to sleep. Most nights are sleepless for me. But that night, I slept like a baby, feeling safe, calm, relaxed, and wanted. More wanted than I've ever felt by anybody.

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Chapter 25

I have an idea for the next book... it's GOOD

It has DRAMAAAA and it's a second chance romance, I have a soft spot for those. When we're reaching the end of this book, I'll put out the details for the next one

let me tell y'all the title tho

LOVE ME NEVER

next chapter: sunset