The four students were walking to Hagrid's hut following Gryffindor's victory in the Quidditch match and a heated argument was taking place.

Unbelievably, Ron and Hermione were on one side and Y/N and Hagrid were on the other. Ron and Hermione were trying to argue that Professor Snape had jinxed Harry's broom, nearly sending him to his death whilst Y/N was in pursuit of the Golden Snitch.

Y/N knew that despite what they saw, Professor Snape was NOT trying to hurt Harry. Quite the opposite in fact. He, just like Jacob's orders to Y/N, had been tasked with secretly protecting Harry by Dumbledore. Hagrid groaned and spoke back firmly to the pair of first years:

"Nonsense. Why would Snape put a jinx on Harry's broom?"

Harry spoke up this time, securely on Hermione and Ron's side. He hated Snape with every fibre of his being:

"Who knows? Why did Snape try to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween?"

"How do you know about Fluffy?" Hagrid asked as he turned to look at the kids shocked.

"Fluffy? That thing has a name?" Ron shrieked in horror.

Y/N scowled at Ron as Hagrid answered:

"Well of course he's got a name. He's mine"

"We know about Fluffy, Hagrid. I've been to see him a few times. He's a good boy. Speaks highly of you" Y/N said with a smirk.

Hagrid's eyes welled up in pride that his giant pet cared for him as he continued:

"I bought him off an Irish fella I met down the pub. Lent him to Dumbledore to guard the-"

The golden trio stared at Hagrid expectantly as Y/N closed his eyes at Hagrid's faux pas.

"Yes?" Harry asked cheekily.

"Nothing that's top secret. No more questions" Hagrid said in frustration as he continued to stride towards his hut.

"Whatever he's guarding Snape's trying to steal it" Ron pleaded.

"Nonsense. He's a Hogwarts Professor. Why would he try and steal it?" Hagrid reasoned as Hermione spoke up:

"Hogwarts Professor or not I know a jinx when I see one it. I've read all about them. You have to maintain eye contact and Snape wasn't blinking. Come on Y/N you know all about jinxes"

Hermione turned to Y/N with pleading eyes. Y/N was aware that something of great was importance was being kept at Hogwarts. Something that Fluffy was guarding. He knew Snape was protecting it as well and Quirrell was after it but the cover story was that he and Snape were antagonistic with each other. He couldn't go in to bat for Snape without raising suspicion. He chose his words very carefully:

"Yes that's true Hermione, but I would need to get a proper look at the event before I can pass judgement."

Hermione huffed in frustration. She was worried about her best friend. Worried he was being manipulated by Snape.

Snape had been bitten by Fluffy which is why he was limping. She had seen him clearly jinxing Harry's broom. Was he lying to Y/N about his father? Y/N had asked her to publicly play along with the cover story about him and Snape antagonising each other, but what if Y/N really was falling into a trap by trusting the Potions Master? She was pulled from her thoughts as Ron scoffed sarcastically to Y/N:

"What? Are you gonna go back in time?"

"No. I don't have the necessary equipment and there's too many witnesses" Y/N replied deep in thought, oblivious to the tone in Ron's voice. The other three first years looked at his comment surprised and confused as Y/N walked off ahead.

He stopped and turned, looking at the others:

"There is a way, but I'm not comfortable with it. Hermione do you trust me when I say it's not Snape?" Y/N asked pleadingly.

Hermione sighed and looked downwards:

"Y/N you know I trust you, but I know what I saw."

It was Y/N's turn to sigh.

"Ok I'll have to look. Let's get to Hagrid's hut"

-~-

Hermione was incredibly frustrated as the group arrived at Hagrid's hut. Why wouldn't Y/N believe her? She knew what she saw. Her flames had stopped the jinx. Didn't Y/N trust her?

The group entered the hut and sat down, except for Y/N who quickly went around closing the curtains before looking at the others.

"Alright I need all of you to promise what happens doesn't leave this room".

They all agreed as Y/N sat across from Hagrid and spoke:

"Ok Hagrid did you get a good look at what happened?"

"Not sure. I think so" the half giant answered nervously.

"Ok I have to enter your mind. Not just read it but enter it. This may feel slightly unpleasant but I'll be in and out as quickly as possible"

Y/N spoke firmly, the seriousness in his voice slightly unsettling as both Ron and Harry's eyes' shot wide open.

Hagrid nodded and replied nervously: "Oh ok then I s'pose"

"Hagrid I won't be there for long. I just need you to close your eyes and focus on the memory ok." Y/N said as he approached the half giant.

"Ok" Hagrid nodded, closing his eyes as Y/N stood in front of him.

The three others watched in awe as Y/N's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his eyelids fluttered. In a matter of seconds it was over and his eyes returned to their normal position. He looked at Hagrid with a raised eyebrow:

"Hagrid were you drinking this morning?"

Hagrid looked down sheepishly:

"Oh uh maybe. It's a non work day"

Y/N chuckled.

"No Hagrid, I'm not judging you mate. It's just your memory is too fuzzy."

Hermione's frustration was growing to fever pitch. Why didn't Y/N believe her? Why didn't he trust her? He was supposed to be her best friend, her...

She spoke up, giving Y/N 'the look' for the first time.

"I saw Snape perfectly Y/N!"

Y/N gave Hermione a smile that appeared forced, as he replied softly:

"I know 'Mione"

She huffed, even angrier as Y/N turned and said "Ron!"

The redhead jumped and shrieked, answering timidly... "Y..yes"

Y/N looked at Ron resolutely:

"I'll just be a second. Just think of when Harry was attacked!"

Ron's eyes widened as he replied timidly:

"Oh..ok"

Y/N did the same thing as with Hagrid, standing in front of Ron while his eyes rolled. Rather than look in awe this time, Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. Why wouldn't Y/N just pick her? Didn't he trust her anymore? Didn't he like her anymore? She was snapped from her thoughts as Y/N groaned:

"For goodness sake Ronald."

"Wha..what?" Ron asked in what sounded like terror before Y/N replied with frustration:

"You were staring at Lavender the whole time!"

Hagrid and Harry laughed as Ron fired back:

"Was not"

"Really? I just saw your memory Ron!"

Ron blushed heavily and put his head down. Hermione huffed and crossed her arms again, snapping:

"Going to have to pick me now Y/N! That is if I'm good enough!"

Y/N looked at Hermione with hurt in his eyes, saying sadly:

"I'm sorry 'Mione it's... it's just... just concentrate on the memory, please"

"I know what to do Y/N" she snapped quickly in reply:

"And it's HER-mione!"

Y/N's eyes widened and a look of immense pain crossed them before they looked to shut down and grow cold. Hermione was still angry but a feeling of guilt filled her. She saw Ron and Harry looked at each other shocked, Hagrid look down saddened before she closed her eyes. She heard Y/N speak coldly:

"I'm going to go in now. Just think of the memory"

Hermione thought back to the Quidditch pitch as she felt herself lose control of her mind. She was observing the memory in her mind's eye, but she wasn't controlling it. It was like watching a movie play out in her head.

She watched as the memory focused on Harry floundering high in the air and then switched to the teacher's box. She saw Snape muttering and thought 'ah ha'; before she heard Y/N's voice in her mind saying:

Look at his face

Hermione did and noticed for the first time- Snape looked really worried as he spoke quickly. The memory then moved up from Snape to focus on...

"Quirrell!" Hermione shouted in her mind as she gasped.

The memory faded as Hermione felt Y/N's presence leave her mind. She opened her eyes wide- Quirrell was chanting as well, Quirrell kept eye contact on Harry. Hermione looked at her best friend remorseful. She had been wrong, she'd snapped at him.

"Y/N I..."

She was cut off as Y/N turned and spoke coldly:

"I've seen enough. I have to go talk to someone"

"Y/N wait..." Harry called to his friend but Y/N was out the door before he could finish.

The four sat there in awkward silence. Hermione thought about what had just happened. She was so sure she was right, so angry at Y/N for not believing her. She'd yelled at him. She'd told him not to use his special nickname for her.

Merlin what had she done?

Tears started to roll down her cheeks. Y/N was her first and dearest friend. She'd just thrown it all away.

As Hermione's tears started falling heavier Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously, both unsure what to do.

Hagrid looked at Hermione sympathetically and held his arms open, saying softly:

"Come here"

Hermione ran over to him and he hugged her gently. She sobbed and spoke distraughtly:

"I didn't mean to yell at him like that. It's just he is my best friend, I didn't understand why he wouldn't want to just use my memory. I thought he didn't like me any more"

Hagrid pulled back from the hug and looked at Hermione with compassion in his eyes:

"Oh 'ermione. It's because 'e likes you that 'e didn't want to. I saw the same thing when Dean was here with his legilimency. It's because you are so close. It very 'ard to control a power like that. And if Y/N accidentally saw something you didn't want 'im to 'e'd be worried you wouldn't trust 'im any more".

Hermione cried even harder after Hagrid tried to explain the situation. She finally managed to say through her sobs:

"He hates me now".

Hagrid offered a sad smile.

"No he doesn't 'ermione. That boy loves you. He might not know it yet but he does. And you love him back."

Hermione sniffled and her crying slowed as Hagrid spoke again:

"I've seen enough of it in my time at Hogwarts. Now you two be good friends and take 'ermione to find Y/N. And don't say a word to anyone about what was said in this room. Or I'll set Fluffy on yeh."

Ron shrieked and Hermione laughed as she wiped her eyes.

"Thanks Hagrid"

"No worries 'ermione. No worries"

The three left Hagrid's hut and began to look for Y/N.

-~-

Y/N walked quickly through the busy Hogwarts corridors, he saw in Hermione's memories with certainty- Quirrell was jinxing the broom, Snape was desperately trying to mutter a counter curse to protect Harry.

Hermione...

Y/N felt hurt like he hadn't experienced in years. Hurt in his chest. He didn't understood it. He didn't like it. He did what he knew how to do. He hardened himself. He went cold. He pushed it down deep. Made himself numb. He was an expert at making himself numb.

He made it to the dungeons, an ice cold glare on his face scaring off a number of students who had tried to approach him. He reached the dungeons and knocked on the classroom door. Snape called for him to enter and smiled when he saw Y/N. It quickly faded as he took in Y/N's demeanour.

"Is everything ok Y/N?"

Y/N answered him coldly.

"I examined memories of today sir. It was a definite assassination attempt on Harry by Quirrell"

"It... was" Snape replied, still concerned with Y/N.

"Thankfully you were there to enact a counter-curse. Has the Headmaster been notified?"

"He has. He wants to see how things play out. I will keep you informed. You may go back to your friends now."

Y/N nodded and was about to leave but thought otherwise.

"Thanks Sev, but may I stay here and practice some potions in the classroom? I will clean everything when I'm done. I just need to be alone for a while."

"You may Y/N"

"Thank you Sev" Y/N nodded in appreciation.

Y/N sat at a lab desk and took out his copy of Advanced Potion-Making. It had been carefully modified with all the addendums and corrections from Snape's copy.

Y/N turned to the correct recipe of the Draught of Living Death and prepared to brew it.

-~-

Y/N had been in the dungeons for a couple of hours when he finished the Potion. Snape left and locked the door behind him which Y/N appreciated. There had been several knocks at the door, Y/N had ignored them as he worked. When Snape returned to the classroom he examined the draught, smiling and stating:

"Flawless Y/N. 20 house points to Gryffindor. You may go if you wish, I will bottle this for Madam Pomfrey and finish cleaning your station"

Y/N nodded and stood, stopping when he felt a hand on his shoulder, hearing in his mind:

If you need to talk, I am always here.

Y/N nodded again before leaving the classroom. He didn't know where to go, other than he didn't want to face anyone. Not after the Quidditch match, not having to put on a brave face to everyone. He just wanted to be alone.

As dinner was beginning in the Great Hall, Y/N cast a disillusionment charm over himself, careful to use the back passageways from the dungeons and avoid areas of heavy student traffic. He dropped the charm as he walked out of the castle grounds, heading into the Forbidden Forest.

-~-

Y/N had been walking for a while, surprisingly undisturbed. He knew he was being watched, probably by more than one pair of eyes, but this was far from his first rodeo in the Forbidden Forest. He figured he was finally out of range of the wards around the school and attempted to apparate. It worked.

-~-

Y/N appeared with a loud crack in a darkened room.

"Penny? Dean?" Y/N called out after turning on a light switch in the lounge. Saturday night, no one was home. Good, that would make things easier.

He checked the fridge, took a couple of steaks out and quickly set them to cook, with a side of canned kidney beans and peas and corn. He magically set up the cooking with his spare wand before heading to his room and getting what he needed from his wardrobe, his swag, before heading back to the kitchen.

He sat down and quickly ate his meal in silence before magically cleaning everything and leaving a note on the kitchen table along with five galleons to more than cover the cost of what he ate and apparated back to the Forbidden Forest.

He arrived with a crack and immediately noticed the deathly silence of the forest, never a good sign. He pulled his wand as he listened expertly, hearing a rustle from the bushes to his left and raised his wand, only to grow a large smile.

"Torvus, how are you my friend" Y/N smiled, arm clasping the Centaur in a formal greeting by one familiar and respectful of Centaur ways.

"Y/N L/N, how are you my young friend? It warms my heart to see you again. What are you doing in the forest? It's not safe, especially at night".

Y/N smiled at his dear friend, always concerned for Y/N's welfare. He would often help Y/N when he was dumped on survival exercises.

"Just had to get far enough from Hogwarts to apparate Torvus. I'm heading back now. Just had to pop home and grab my swag. Gonna camp in the Creature Reserve tonight"

The two walked along towards the fractured illumination of Hogwarts that could be seen even in the thickness of the forest. Torvus chuckled:

"Is that standard for a student at Hogwarts?"

Y/N smiled.

"Well you know me Torvus, hardheaded as they come. Always walking my own path".

The Centaur laughed and nodded, replying:

"That hardheadness will take you far Y/N. I've read it in the stars. It is well known to my... my people. You have a grand destiny"

-~-

The two had walked and talked for close to half an hour when they arrived at the edge of the forest.

"This is where we say goodbye Y/N L/N. Enjoy your camp".

"You could come with me to the Reserve Torvus, camp around the campfire, regale me with exciting tales. Just like old times"

Torvus smiled at the offer, one of the things he loved most about his young friend was the boy's kind heart.

"I must respectfully decline. The forest is my home for now. I will see you again Y/N. Remember to always believe in yourself. You will face many trials, but you always have the strength within yourself to succeed, no matter the odds stacked against you".

The two clasped arms again and said their goodbyes. Y/N walked towards the magical entrance to the Creature Reserve and opened it, passing through and into the Grasslands biome.

He smiled as he looked around at the beautiful scenery in front of him.

He never ceased to wonder at the magnificence of the Reserve, created through the sheer power and will of Albus and Newt.

He walked through quietly, looking at the creatures in the Reserve who were mostly settling down for the night- Nifflers, Knarls, Pixies, Porlocks, Diricawls and Abraxans, all living together in harmony thanks to the enchantments of this wondrous place.

He found a relatively bare patch of earth and summoned over some rocks and branches, quickly getting a fire going as he set up his swag and got into his makeshift bed.

He was laying there, arms crossed behind his head, looking up at the artificial stars and full moon and thought about Torvus. He had been exiled from his herd, a fate worse than death for a Centaur. He was worried for his friend when he felt shuffling next to him. He looked down to see Spikes, a Knarl he had bonded closely with cuddling into him. He looked down and smiled, tickling its little belly and chuckling:

"Yes you can sleep next to me mate"

-~-

Hermione was extremely concerned. It was nearly 10:00pm, well past curfew and still no sign of Y/N. No one had seen him since the Quidditch match. The trio had looked everywhere for him. Hermione had even snuck off to the Room of Requirement when Ron and Harry were having dessert but he wasn't there. Hermione was sure he would've returned to the Common Room at curfew but no. She just wanted to say she was sorry.

"Should we tell McGonagall?" Ron asked. Even he was getting worried.

"No" Harry answered calmly, surprising both Ron and Hermione.

"I'm sure he's ok. He just wants time alone. If there's one person here who can look after themselves it's him" he added.

"Yeah, you're right" Hermione sighed, adding:

"I'm going to bed. Please yell if he comes back."

The two boys looked at her sympathetically.

"We will" Harry replied.

Hermione went up to her dorm and closed the curtains on her bed. She cried herself to sleep.

-~-

Hermione woke early the next morning and quickly got ready. She headed out to the Room of Requirement. She was sure Y/N must have slept there. She entered and it was empty.

Now she was really beginning to panic. She sat down to read for an hour, lonely and stressed, before heading down to breakfast, hoping her best friend would be there.

-~-

Y/N woke and stretched, the artificial sun rising in the 'horizon' and he was instantly acutely aware of a number of weights on him. Y/N looked down and smiled- quite a number of his furry little friends had come over during the night and decided he was a much more comfy alternative to their usual sleeping places.

Y/N woke the sleepy creatures and packed up his swag before going old school- he walked into one of the small areas of woodlands in the enclosure, jumped up to a tree branch and began his work out.

Following his usual routine he headed to Barnaby's ranger hut that laid along the pathway in between the many different enclosures and placed his swag with the other camping gear that was to be found in the hut. He headed to the small kitchen and raided it for breakfast- Barnaby always kept a well stock pantry. He prepared himself some breakfast and wrote a note:

Hey B,

I've left my swag with the rest of the camping gear, crashed in the grasslands enclosure Saturday night. I've had some of your eggs and bacon, make up for it by finishing the Dugbog nesting area we've been working on, I'm spending my Sunday building that. Should be finished when you read this Monday morning. See you on Friday

Y/N.

He showered quickly before magicking his clothes into working clothes and set out of the Foggy Moor enclosure to throw himself into his work and hide away from all of Hogwarts glaring eyes for the day.

-~-

Hermione was panicking. Nobody had seen him still. He wasn't at breakfast. He wasn't in the library. Harry and Ron went to see Hagrid and he wasn't there. Neville stayed in the common room all day for the trio and he didn't turn up there. Hermione racked her brain but couldn't think where he could be.

Hermione headed down to dinner and sadly sat next to Harry. About half way through she looked up and felt the greatest sense of relief she had felt in her life- he was there at the Hufflepuff table sat next to a dark haired boy and across from Beatrice. Hermione smiled and tapped Harry's shoulder, pointing Y/N out.

"Oh thank goodness. He's with Bea and Cedric" Harry said with a relieved smile.

"Who's Cedric?" Hermione asked.

"He's a friend of his. Third year. Really nice guy" Harry replied happily.

"I need to talk to him." Hermione said, forgetting about the dinner she was half way through. She stood looking over at the Hufflepuff table and caught Beatrice's eye. Beatrice darted her eyes at Y/N then back to Hermione and shook her head.

Hermione nodded in understanding and sat down with the unbearable urge to cry again. Harry placed his hand on her shoulder gently. She wiped her eyes as a small paper bird landed in front of her. She opened it.

From what I can gather it was a misunderstanding. Dean and Penny had the same argument once. I know you need to speak to him but not here in front of everyone. He is really hurt. Trust is a really important thing and he opened up to you and thinks you hate him. You have to remember Y/N hasn't had a normal life. All the poor kid has known is pain and betrayal. He doesn't know how to handle situations like this. I'm not blaming you but he will just need some time. He plans to sleep in the Reserve again tonight so when you see him leave follow him.

Good luck
Bea

Hermione looked up with a beaming smile, aimed at Beatrice. Beatrice glanced at Y/N and nodded to Hermione when Y/N looked away. Hermione felt heart broken. Y/N was always so big and proud, with a presence larger than he was that seemed to draw the attention of whatever room he was standing in. Now sitting there he just looked... broken. The guilt ripped at Hermione's heart strings. She did that to him.

Her eyes never left Y/N's back for the next ten minutes. When he finally got up and walked out of the hall Hermione quickly followed him.

She followed him down a corridor before he stopped at a staircase. He spoke without turning around, his voice devoid of it's usual warmth:

"What do you want Hermione?"

"I. We need to talk. I'm sorry."

Y/N replied, again emotionless, like he was completely shut off:

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that you're angry at me. I'm sorry I called you a stupid nickname that made you angry. I'm sorry that I-"

Y/N was cut off as Hermione hugged him tightly from behind.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I'm sorry. It was all my fault. Please don't hate me."

Y/N sighed.

"I could never hate you Hermione"

"Then hug me" Hermione whimpered.

Y/N turned around but looked downwards. Hermione wrapped her arms around his midsection and he slowly hugged back. Hermione spoke again:

"Hagrid explained everything. I thought you didn't want to look at my memory because you didn't believe me. He explained you were worried about seeing too much. I never even thought of it like that. I'm so so sorry. I should never have spoken to you like that. I love the nickname. I'm sorry I lashed out. Please forgive me."

Y/N was quiet for what seemed to Hermione to be an eternity before he replied quietly:

"I forgive you Hermione".

His words still sounded emotionless and robotic. It worried Hermione.

"Are you sure"

"Yes"

Hermione nodded sadly as she pulled back from the embrace.

"Where are you going now?"

"The common room I guess" Y/N sighed.

"You don't want to go train at our..."

Y/N shook his head.

"Ive been working in the Reserve all day. I'm really tired. I just want to have a shower and go to bed."

"Ok. Can we walk up together?" Hermione asked hopefully, wanting some flicker of... anything from him.

"Sure" he answered in the same tone.

The pair walked up to the common room. Hermione tried to make conversation but Y/N was just a closed book. He answered politely but only replied in closed off one word answers and looked down the whole time.

The pair arrived at the common room and Harry and Ron were already there. They rushed up to pair.

"Hey Y/N, glad you're ok" Harry said happily. Y/N replied in the same tone:

"I'm fine I just need a shower and to go to bed."

"Oh ok no worries" Harry answered, slightly confused.

Y/N turned and started to walk up the stairs without a word.

"Goodnight Y/N" Hermione called out hopefully.

"Good night Hermione".

He didn't turn around. When he disappeared at the top of the staircase tears fell from Hermione's eyes again.

"He hates me. He's just too nice to say it."

"He doesn't hate you Hermione, he just needs time. He's a tough guy but things get to him like everyone else. I'll wait for him in our dorm. Try and get him to come down if you like" Harry smiled sadly as he spoke.

"Thanks Harry."

Hermione sat on a couch and pulled out a book. She waited hopeful for her friend's return.

-~-

Y/N ran the shower and stood under it, letting the hot water cascade over his sore and aching body. He had a hell of a high pain threshold- but he was still susceptible to it. The twelve hour working day coupled with those Quidditch bumps had taken their toll. Inside was the same. He had made up with Hermione but he felt so overwhelmed. So numb.

He lost track of how long he stood under the water but eventually got out and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist.

He walked to his dorm, opening the door to see Harry standing there. Harry's eyes went wide at Y/N's torso- a deep purple bruise covering almost his entire left side from just under his pec to just above his groin.

"Alright Harry?" Y/N asked, dropping his towel next to his bed, finishing drying off and putting on a pair of boxer shorts.

"Are you?" Harry asked. "What's that bruise from?"

"Took some pretty hard hits yesterday Harry, can't do that without expecting some broken bones. I'm fine, don't worry about it"

"You don't seem it."

"Well I am. I'm going to bed now, good night".

"Hermione wants to see you in the common room."

"I'm too tired Harry. I'll talk to her tomorrow" Y/N said as he finished organising his belongings for the next morning.

Harry was frustrated at Y/N's robotic tone. He wanted to get something, anything out of Y/N. He decided to escalate things.

"She's been crying non stop you know"

"What do you want me to do Harry. What exactly do you want?" Y/N snapped, his voice starting to raise. He was getting angry.

"I want you to be a good friend" Harry snapped back in frustration.

"Oh and I suppose I'm not is that right?"

"Not the way you're acting, no"

Y/N's lip curled as he snarled and snapped:

"Fucking unbelievable. Everything is always my fault isn't it."

"What are you talking about" Harry asked with a furrowed brow.

"Everything is always my fault. Hermione's upset because I wasn't a good friend! Smoky's gone because I couldn't look after her! Jacob had to beat me because I was never good enough! My father was murdered because he was trying to protect me! My mother would beat me nearly to death and torture me over and over and fucking over because I got my dad killed! Everything is always MY FUCKING FAULT!!!!"

Y/N was roaring in a deep, dark, unsettling tone. A strong breeze had broken out in the dorm, blowing papers and small objects everywhere. The lights flickered on and off. Y/N's eyes seemed to momentarily flicker pure black before returning to their usual brilliant green. Harry stood there speechless:

"Y/N I...."

He was quickly cut off as Y/N looked down and tried to calm himself. The lights ceased their flickering and the breeze finally subsided. Y/N spoke quietly:

"Just go Harry. Please"

Y/N slid onto his bed, casting silencio after closing the curtains around him. He just wanted to shut the whole world out.

-~-

The next morning Y/N woke up at 5:00am like clockwork. He quickly and quietly got ready and left the dormitory, descending to the common room.

She was sitting there, waiting.

"Morning Hermione" Y/N said robotically.

"Sit!" Hermione ordered.

"Pardon?" Y/N asked puzzled with a raised eyebrow.

"Sit. Now!" Hermione ordered again, fiercely and authoritatively.

Y/N sighed before making his way to the couch and sitting next to the bushy haired girl. They sat in an awkward silence before Hermione asked in a tender tone, the polar opposite of her previous one:

"Is that how you feel?"

"What are you talking about?" Y/N asked genuinely confused.

"What you said last night" Hermione replied, again tenderly.

"You heard that did you?" Y/N asked with regret.

"I think the whole castle heard you. You're very loud when you're upset".

"Well I'm sorry about that." Y/N sighed.

"You didn't answer my question. Is that how you feel?"

Y/N looked up in frustration before closing his eyes and answering:

"Yes Hermione, it's how I feel ok. All the bloody time."

Y/N felt Hermione's hand slide onto his and squeeze as she spoke tenderly again:

"I didn't know and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry you've had so much horrible stuff happen to you. I'm sorry that you feel evil things that were done to you are your fault when they most certainly are not. But most of all Y/N, I'm sorry you've been hurt so bad that you can't see what the rest of us see"

Y/N was looking down, trying with all his will to remain composed as he asked barely above a whisper:

"What's that exactly?"

Hermione smiled lovingly.

"That you are a sweet, caring, wonderful person. The kind of person other people care about, worry about. Respect and admire. The kind of person other people love"

Y/N looked directly into her eyes.

"I know you feel something between us Y/N and I know I feel it too. I don't know what exactly but I want you to know I am always right here for you. You mean more to me than anything in the world".

Y/N could feel himself on the verge of tears, of completely breaking down. He forced it back telling himself:

"Don't do it... don't do it"

Hermione continued:

"None of what you said was true and I'm sorry that anyone has ever made you feel that way. I'm sorry I made you feel that way because of my jealousy".

Y/N looked up puzzled:

"Jealousy? What are you talking about Hermione?"

"When you picked Hagrid and Ron I wanted you to pick me. I was upset because I wanted you all to myself. I was wrong and I said hurtful things and I am truly sorry for that Y/N. I understand now you were worried about controlling your power and worried about violating my trust. But you don't ever have to worry about that. I just hope we can go back to what we were."

Y/N smiled deeply. He felt completely overwhelmed.

"Thank you that meant a lot. And I want nothing more 'Mione".

Y/N smiled but was surprised as Hermione leant forward and kissed him on the cheek before barreling into him with a massive hug. They sat there for a while in the embrace before she said:

"Are you ready for training?"

Y/N smiled and shook his head:

"No. I'm happy and have everything I want and need here. I'm taking a day off. Screw Jacob."

Hermione hugged Y/N tighter and he leant down and kissed the top of her head. She gasped.

"Was that ok?" Y/N asked worried.

"Definitely. You can do that anytime you want".