Dean

Highway run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind...

The steady beat of the rain on Baby's roof and the slow melody mingled together to create a world that existed only within the leather and metal confines of the car. The outside world seemed to melt away until there was nothing left but me and Cas, his skin flushed an exquisite shade of pink, blue eyes burning into me and stealing my breath away. Logic and reasonable thought became nonexistent, replaced instead by raw instinct and a craving unlike anything else, drawing me in towards the curve of his Cupid's Bow.

Castiel. It echoed through me, reaching out to etch itself into my very bones, stirring the blood in my veins until every inch of my body was humming. I was only vaguely aware of the soft whisper traveling past my lips in the shape of his name, too overwhelmed by the sudden clarity I was experiencing. A delightful shiver ran down my spine as each breath I inhaled carried with it the smell of summer rain and honey, the smell of him. The firm leather of the seat was cool to the touch, my fingers gripping the back of it as I slowly scooted closer. The same daze that had taken me captive clouded his striking blue eyes and he leaned forward almost magnetically, just like me.

I could feel it as my heartbeat changed it's rhythm, my pulse drumming the syllables out loud and my entire being began to sing out his name. Or maybe it had always been that way and I was just now finally noticing it, here in this quiet universe that belonged only to us and the melody of the song that surrounded us.

Through space and time, always another show
Wondering where I am, lost without you

Cas's fingers slid along the back of the seat, inching ever closer towards my own fingers that were gripping the material tightly as I pulled in ragged breaths through my slightly parted lips. The anticipation built to an almost unbearable level and every second seemed to last an hour. His skin brushed mine at last and I could see it in his eyes, the fire that ignited within them, the same fire that had burst to life across my own body, the warmth sinking in and lapping at the depths of my soul as well.

Unable to stand the distance any longer, I yanked him towards me, desperate to close the gap between his lips and mine, to disappear inside of his kiss and never resurface again. Who needed air when there was Cas? Desire sent me diving in, my eyes closed and my mouth parting slightly, sucking in one last breath that I knew wouldn't last. It didn't matter though, nothing mattered but the bright eyed angel I held firmly against my chest.

The sudden movement snapped the dancer out of his trance though, and instead of the soft curve of his mouth that I'd sought, I was met with the tight skin of his palm. He pushed me back towards my side of the car and, with a coy smile and a quick 'thanks', he was out in the rain, running towards the dry safety of his home.

I'm not sure how long I sat there staring out the windshield into the rain, my face heating up in embarrassment and my mind tossing the same three words around like a ball in a one sided game of catch.

What the fuck was that?

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

After a long day of internal battle, I finally resolved to go back to Heavenly Sins despite the awkwardness I felt over the previous night. I had reached the conclusion that it must have been some kind of weird mojo in that particular Journey song that had made me try to kiss Cas. To feel those things. The song was definitely a crazy witchy thing, obviously. That was the only explanation, I would never try to kiss another man otherwise. I was as straight as an arrow.

And that's exactly what I repeated to myself as I threw back my fourth shot of whiskey at the bar that night. Tessa was busy with other customers but she sent me a sweet smile anyway. Not the flirty kind but rather the kind of sweet smile that said 'I'll be over to give you more denial juice soon'. It was only my second Thursday at the club but I already knew Cas wouldn't be performing tonight unless he was backup for another dancer. I hated that I knew that.

I watched as the strippers lead customers behind the purple curtains across the room from the bar. Even without having been back there, I knew from my experiences at other clubs that the private rooms were back there. An image surfaced in my head then, sudden and unwanted, of Cas taking some drooling fool back there for a personal dance and I grit my teeth against the thought.

I don't care if he takes people back there, it's his job. I'm straight anyway, I like girls. End of story.

Tessa set another shot on the counter and I tossed it back quickly, slamming the glass back down and sliding from my seat, my gaze fixed on the purple curtains.

"Mm ssstraight." I mumbled to myself, swaying just a little as the effects of the alcohol suddenly slammed into me like a freight train. I approached one of the female dancers strutting around in her underwear, the black and white lace hugging the ample curves of her pale skinned body. Long ringlets of red hair hung over her shoulders and down her back, her big brown eyes batting playfully up at me through her long fake eyelashes. Kitty, I was sure that was her name. She smiled at me and placed a small hand on my arm, biting her lip when I shot her a smirk, and I reached for my wallet, intent on going through the purple curtains.

"Dean?!" A voice came from behind me, feminine and shocked. The smirk fell as I turned to face Charlie, mentally scrambling for a decent explanation for still being in town.

"I thought you left a week ago! What are you doing here?" The nerdy girl asked, glaring at Kitty for a moment before fixing her gaze back on me, one ginger eyebrow arching up as if daring me to lie. Any and all excuses I had been constructing immediately fell apart.

"I, well, uh. I was, uh... you see what happened was, um. Uh... Sammy! He was busy and so, uh. Um. Cas- I mean Angel was um. Th-there was McDonald's and I uh... It was raining and he, er... He wanted to ride me- I mean, he needed a ride home! And then I had to, uh, make sure he was ok. Yeah. That." I managed to stutter out eventually, clicking my tongue and pointing at her with a wink. Charlie stared me down for just a second and then there was a giant grin spreading over her face.

"You've been hanging with Castiel then, huh?" She said it suggestively and a blush crawled up my neck. I ran a hand through my hair uncomfortably at the implication.

"A bit, but Charlie, we're just acquaintances, not even really frie- wait a second..." I broke off mid sentence, narrowing my eyes in suspicion. "How did you know his real name?"

Now it was Charlie's turn to fidget and stutter foolishly as she tried to explain herself. Under any other circumstances I probably would have laughed at her ridiculous expression but as it was, I currently felt I'd been set up. Her brown eyes darted all around and her little nose twitched slightly, giving her the appearance of a scared rabbit.

"Oh look! Pie!" She yelled suddenly and I couldn't help it, I looked. It was basically instinct! Of course, I knew she was lying and there was no pie to be found in a strip club... but just in case, I had to look. Naturally, Charlie took off in the moment I spent searching for the nonexistent pie.

I found her sitting in what had become my spot in the last week; just below the pole and directly in front of the main stage. Lilith was currently twisting her petite body around said pole while some 90's grunge song played loudly through the speakers. Charlie smiled innocently up at me as I glared down at her, my arms crossed over my chest. She gulped but continued to smile, leaning over and patting the chair beside her and I took the seat with an exasperated sigh.

Cas didn't come onto the stage at all that night, but that didn't stop Charlie from somehow hunting him down and having him join us at the bar. The easy way they talked confirmed in my mind what I'd already suspected and I watched the two friends silently as I sipped on my rum and coke.

The dancer tried to catch my eye several times but I couldn't look at him, not after the events of the night before. Charlie shot me several curious glances and frequently looked between the two of us with an almost giddy glint in her eyes. I was definitely going to have to talk to her later about all of this, but for now I just continued to avoid the blue gaze of the man sitting in between us.

He finally gave up after a while, choosing to enjoy a few shots with the dorky ginger girl that we both clearly had a soft spot for. I couldn't help but be impressed as the shirtless performer took two shots of tequila so strong I could practically smell the burn, without batting an eye.

Once the club closed and Charlie was buckled in and passed out drunk in my passenger seat, Cas leaned into the window of some random lady's flashy silver car. I couldn't make out exactly what was being said but I could hear the flirtatious lilt of his words and her gleeful shrill. He got in and as they drove past me, I could see him nibbling at one of her ears, her lips curled up in a delighted smile. The sight send something cold and ugly through me that pooled in the pit of my stomach and slithered around like a distrustful snake. It almost felt like the beginnings of jealousy, but I knew better than that and simply wrote it off as concern, pushing all thoughts of Angel the Stripper to the back of my mind as I drove a drunken Charlie home.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder silently to myself as I lay wrapped in my blankets later that night:

I am straight... right?

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

That next night, I stayed at the bar. It was a Friday and I knew 'Angel' would be performing, but for the first time, I didn't sit by the stage. No, I kept my distance and watched from my stool. His eyes found mine a few times throughout the night but thankfully, the stripper didn't bother me.

Later on, he got in the passenger seat of an old beat up red truck, his face pressed into the crook of some old guy's shoulder. I tried to ignore it, but the crooked smile on the silver haired driver's face grew when he wrapped his arm around Cas's body and I knew I couldn't deny it anymore. The cold snake that nipped at my insides with poison fangs and left me shaking with anger could be nothing else but jealousy.

The feeling stayed with me throughout the dark hours of the night, disrupting my sleep and filling my head with images of the truck driver's hands groping blindly and his lips pressing into Cas's flawless skin.

Saturday night was hardly an different as I watched Angel dance from my seat at the bar again. I couldn't think of him as Cas anymore, not here, not when I was watching him grind against the horny men and women surrounding his stage. It gave me some comfort to think of him as a different person when he was here with the raunchy music and the drunken hands sliding over his muscled body. Some time after his act was over, he lead a boy back behind the purple curtains with a seductive smile and it was enough to shake me out of the bad mood that had clung to me all day.

I am straight, I reminded myself firmly, and this is ridiculous. Tits not dicks.

For the rest of the night I drank, flirted and danced with the gorgeous women all around me, some of them dancers and others customers like myself. My whole body sang with lust when Kitty dragged me back towards the purple curtains and I tipped her generously once our private time was over. By the time closing rolled around, Angel was the furthest thing from my mind and I capered happily out to my Baby with a dopey grin on my face.

I sat there for a bit, flipping through my cassette collection, trying to find a certain Zeppelin album, when a scream penetrated the air and snapped me into sobriety. The screams continued as I sprinted towards the source. Of course it would be coming from the creepy alleyway. The side door burst open and Castiel stumbled out with Lilith,who looked to be seconds away from passing out, clinging to his side. Her clothes were shredded and hung in strips from her body, and Cas's own clothes sported a few tears, although that wasn't what caught my attention. Bruises peppered his face and blood flowed from the corner of his mouth, one eye swollen shut.

The one blue eye that he could open lifted to mine and the fear I saw there was all I needed to spring into action. I picked up Lilith effortlessly and carried her to the parking lot, Cas running alongside me. He slid smoothly into the driver's seat of her little tan Buick and I set her gently in the passenger seat, buckling her up quickly and then running over to the impala, following closely as the dark haired man peeled out onto the street. He sped the whole way, throwing caution to the wind in a panicked attempt to get the young woman to safety.

Once he'd gotten her into her apartment, he came back down and wordlessly sank into the leather bench seat of Baby. Silence hung heavy in the air between us and I coaxed my beloved car back onto the road, driving past my hotel room and away from his street as well. He didn't ask where we were going and I offered no explanation either, preferring to focus on the road of us. It wasn't too long before I was pulling into the parking lot of IHOP, moving quickly around to Cas's side and opening his door for him.

He really likes honey. My eyes widened as the trench coat clad man all but drowned his waffles in the sticky substance, added a thin layer of syrup on top, and dug in. I sipped at my coffee and ate my slice of apple pie as I watched him eat, making a mess of himself and the area surrounding his plate. It was baffling how someone so downright sexually predatory could also manage to be so innocent.

"You mind telling me what that was all about back there?" I finally broke the silence and he froze mid-chew, honey dripping from his mouth comically. Without meeting my questioning gaze, he leaned over and slowly took a pull from the straw that floated in his glass of orange juice.

"I'd rather not talk about it, but thank you for your help." Cas said at last, his voice hoarse as though he hadn't spoken in a while. It was then that I noticed the bruises around his neck and my blood boiled at the sight. Still, I knew better than to push the matter, even as much as I wanted to murder the culprit.

"Do you have any family out here, Cas?" The urge to unravel this puzzle of a man in front of me was too strong to bear and I couldn't stop myself from asking any longer. My question seemed to catch him off guard, his good eye widening in shock and he studied me for a moment as if he were trying to determine if it was safe to tell me the truth.

"I have a little brother, Samandriel. He prefers to be called Alfie for some odd reason though. He lives with me and is still in high school." Castiel finally answered, although his tone was guarded and I knew there was more that he wouldn't tell me. It made me wonder just how many other family members he might have nearby, but I knew better than to pry too much. Or at least I thought I did.

"Why does he live with you and not your parents?" The words escaped me before I could stop them and I regretted it instantly. So much for knowing better. Cas's gaze dropped to his plate of honey-soaked waffles and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's fine." He cut me off abruptly. "My mom died 8 years ago when I was 12 and my dad passed 4 years ago in a car wreck. My older brother, Michael, stepped up so we wouldn't go into the system but as soon as I was old enough to, I came here. Alfie begged me to bring him with me, so I did." Cas explained with a shrug as if it didn't bother him. I wasn't entirely sure who he was trying to fool.

"What about you, Dean? Do you have any family out here or is it just Charlie?" This time it was my turn to be caught off guard.

"I have a little brother, Sammy, not too far from here. He's studying at Stanford, gonna be a lawyer one day." My chest swelled with pride at the thought of my genius baby brother. I could feel the dorky smile on my face but I didn't really care, that kid was so smart and I would always be proud of him.

"Stanford, huh? That's a good school." The honey lover said, but his voice was different, distracted. He took a bite, chewing thoughtfully as he pushed the last of his waffles around the plate, drenching them even more in the honey and syrup mixture. The silence fell between us again while he ate, his mind clearly elsewhere.

It wasn't until long after we'd left the restaurant and were already a few blocks away from his apartment complex that he finally said something.

"Thank you, Dean, for helping me with Lilith tonight. And also for the waffles." Although it was just barely more than a whisper, the words were sincere and when I pulled to a stop in front of his building, I turned to look at him.

Bruises littered his jawline and a few dotted his cheekbones, his right eye was a deep purple and it puffed out angrily, the corner of his mouth on the same side was busted and fat, his normally flawless lips swollen. Still, despite his beaten face, that one blue eye shone brightly, unfazed by the events of the night.

"I'll always be there when you need me." I murmured softly without thinking and my skin flushed once I realized what I'd said.

"Because I'm Batman." I amended quickly, coughing and running a hand through my hair. Cas just raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled to himself. Soft lips pressed into my cheek for one sweet moment, and then he was opening the door and stepping outside. Without thinking about it, my hand darted out and caught him around the wrist. He glanced at me, clearly surprised and I felt a blush burning my skin.

"You're too good for this, Cas. For any of it." And I meant it; he was better than that club, than the side job he worked out of it, than the drugs he injected into his veins. He was better than all of it, I saw it every time I looked at him, and I'd felt the need to tell him right then, while he had one leg firmly planted on the ground just outside the safety of Baby's interior, the cool night air wrapping around us and raising goosebumps on his skin. I'd just had to say it because maybe if someone actually told him, he'd finally see it too.

Cas didn't say anything else as he gently pulled out of my grasp, he only closed the door and headed inside, not even sparing a backwards glance as he did so. I didn't mind though, even if he never spoke to me again, even if I'd offended him, it didn't bother me. At least I'd told him, at least he'd heard.

That night as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I thought of Castiel. Granted, I'd done so every night for the last week now, but tonight, I didn't fight those thoughts as I had every other time. I thought about him for what seemed like hours, the tangle of his black hair, the beige of his trench coat, the deep timbre of his voice, so low and comforting.

I thought about the gleam of his eyes and the way that they lit up from within with a fire that could never be put out because it burned too hot, yet at the same time they always retained a certain calmness about them, like the deepest parts of the ocean where even the storms that raged above couldn't disturb it. And the colour of those eyes that robbed my lungs of air with their vibrancy; the bluest blue to ever blue.

I thought of Castiel until sleep made my eyelids heavy and my mind became muddled with exhaustion.

So maybe I'm not entirely straight, was the last coherent thought I had before unconsciousness claimed me at last.

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Whew! That was a lot of words! I hope you lovely nouns enjoy it.

Special thanks to CaptainShade for pushing me to get off my lazy arse and get this chapter out. Also much love for the masterpiece Broken Toys. LONG LIVE THE SS THORE 🚢

Until next time my wonderful honey lovers!

😁❤️