a/n; depressing

Light taps on the window filled
the dim, lit room as jae writes.

His roommate was currently out
and jae was already use to having
the whole dorm by himself.

He had a whole house to himself
since his parents were workaholics
but he claims to be a student that
lives on raman and air.

His friends believed him.

They had no choice to.

He is Park Jaehyung.

Used tissues sat beside jae as he
taps his fingers delicately against
the surface of his laptop.

He remembers the days where he
didn't spend these nights alone.

He had someone.

Had.

A sweet guy name Kang Younghyun.

The latter loved jae with all his heart
but as jae always remember,
"all good things must come to an end."

And the only good thing
in his life did end.

In a blink of an eye
Kang Younghyun was gone.

Out of his life.

Jae did thought it was for the best.

I mean who would even
want to be with him.

A useless piece of shit
that deserves nothing.

A useless piece of shit that
always feel depressed.

A useless piece of shit that
deserves pain.

Thoughts like these filled
Jae's head as the
voices come back.

"You are useless jae."

"You really do deserve nothing."

"What a useless piece of shit."

"Can't even go through a day
without being depressed."

"Attention whore~~"

Jae shooks his head and
continues writing.

Head filled with ideas as
he types furiously.

His dream was to be a writer.

It's been since he met younghyun.

The boy he can write a series
about how amazing he was.

The boy he can write a whole book
about how he doesn't deserve him.

The boy he can write a whole
textbook about how much he
loves him.

Jae types even more faster.

Fingers banging into his keyboard.

But he doesn't care.

The only boy that jae was certain
he'd spend his life with was
not with him.

"If only i wasn't like this," jae whispers.

"If I wasn't so delusional,"

"so mess up,"

"so broken,"

a/n; tried something different
you're suffering with me :))
— unedited