My Life is a Satire

Of course, this was happening. Of course, I was wrong to trust my grandfather.

       Up until that point everything had been going well. I had yet to get lost, and we made it successfully to the hotel, our trip's halfway point. As promised the hotel was well-kept and in a safe neighborhood, but grandpa had not kept all his promises. I should have booked it myself. I really should have known better than to trust him with this. Ed was going to kill me. That was if his daughter didn't do it for him first.

       Through the hotel's front windows, I spotted Lexi waiting in the car and forced a smile on my tensed face. I had suggested that she wait in the car while I got the keys to our rooms. And boy was I glad that I did.

       Still smiling forcefully for Lexi's sake, I returned my attention to the receptionist.

       "Check again," I urged.

       The curly, sandy haired receptionist narrowed his eyes annoyingly behind his glasses, pushing the frames higher up on the thin bridge of his nose. His name tag read Amir, followed by he/him pronouns. Amir wasn't thrilled to be second guessed; seemingly annoyed that I was convinced he must have read the very simple computer entry wrong.

      "The name was Scott?" he confirmed.

      "Yes. My grandfather called."

      "Leonard Scott did book a room, a single room. A single room with a single bed." He emphasized the single part, tired eyes meeting mine.

      I shook my head vigorously. "I told him to book two rooms."

      "Well, he didn't."

      "He told me he did."

       "He lied."

       Huffing indignantly, I let my head fall in my hands, resting on the service desk.

       Pushing me a few inches over the side, Amir leaned over the desk, shooting a gaze outside the window.

       "Is the brunette in the Mazda with you?" he asked. "She looks worried."

       My head shot up and sure enough I spotted the familiar creases of worried lines on Lexi's forehead. Fixing my slouched posture, I shot her another smile, this time adding a reassuring thumbs up.

       "Any chance we could switch rooms?" I asked, deciding that maturity and not mopping around would solve my problem.

        With a sigh, Amir returned to the computer. He searched for a while before shaking his head. "We don't have enough rooms."

       "Is there a way to at least get a double room?"

      Amir shook his head again. I resisted the urge to bang my head on the countertop. Lexi would not be reassured by the gesture.

      "A room with bunkbeds?" I asked hopelessly.

       Slender fingers scrolling again. "Family member?" Amir inquired curiously. "Cousin? Sister?"

      "Girlfriend."

       Amir paused his search dramatically, stepping away from the computer to shoot me a ridiculous scowl. "Then what's the problem?"

       "I promised her parents there would be two rooms. I promised two beds and I don't want to stress her out."

      Amir stared at me blankly.

      "Bunkbeds?" I prompted.

      "None left."

      "Damn it!" I groaned.

      "Brother, this Leonard guy was doing you a favor."

      I ignored him. "How about a room with a couch?"

      "Afraid not." He wasn't even bothering with the computer screen now.

      "There's absolutely nothing you can do?"

      With a roll of his eyes, Amir searched a few more files. He chewed the tip of his pen in consideration, ignoring my burning gaze of urgency.

      "I can upgrade a queen to a king size free of charge," he finally offered. "I'm sure Mr. Snider won't mind."

      Sighing, I nodded defeatedly. It was something, I guess.

      Still with the crazed look, Amir handed me the room key.

      "Though it wasn't our fault, on behalf of Paragon Hotel, we apologize for the mistake in your booking." He spoke in his best customer service voice. "But, in spite of the missing bed and pretty girl, I do believe you will find a way to enjoy your stay."

      Heat rising to my cheeks, I fumbled nervously with the key and my wallet.

     "Thanks for your help," I mumbled ungracefully, walking away.

      "If you're interested," Amir called as I was just a few steps away from the revolving door. I turned around eagerly. "We have cots."

       Heaving a heavy sigh of relief, I smiled gratefully. "That would be great."

      "Call the front desk when you're ready and we'll bring it over."

      "Alright," I said, stepping between the first set of doors. "I'll call you later."

      "I'm sure you will." The evident disbelief in Amir's tone made me pause.

     "I will," I insisted.

      "Ok," he answered, still in the disbelieving tone.

      Abandoning a useless argument, I stepped outside. I would prove him wrong later.

      "Everything alright?" Lexi asked immediately.

       Surprised by her voice, head shooting up her way, I stumbled down the last steps, clumsily running into the metal railing.

       "Fantastic!" My tone was much too enthusiastic to be believable.

        Before she could question my behavior, I took the rest of our bags in one hand and her hand in my other.

       Each step I took across the orange carpet made me nauseous. Each step down the narrow hall was a reminder of the reaction I anticipated from Lexi. I could imagine the panic, the discomfort in her eyes. She would reach peak levels of discomfort. Her parents would be angry. She would be angry... Was the trip already ruined?

       She didn't care. She didn't care?

       While I held my breath as I opened the door, Lexi remained unbothered. She didn't wait for me to open a second bedroom. She walked through the doorway and dropped her things without a hint of uneasiness. Her lips remained in their usual, upward pointed slant.

       "There was a little mistake in the booking," I started nervously. "My grandpa booked it... There's only the one room."

       Lexi didn't look surprise. She stared at me patiently, waiting for the punch line.

      "But I've already talked to the receptionist," I assured quickly. Though a part of me felt that Lexi didn't need any reassuring. I was the only one panicking. Again. "They'll bring a cot. I just have to call—"

       "That's really not necessary." She eyed the large bed.

       I blinked in surprise, lips parting wordlessly. I was at a loss for words. I had made such a big deal of this, and she brushed the matter off, thinking it insignificant. She was at complete ease.

       Watching my almost startled expression, Lexi brought a hand to her mouth to hide a giggle.

      "This is funny?" I frowned.

       Lexi nodded, shoulders still shaking. "You really thought I would make a big deal out of this?"

      "This is basically a live recreation of the cliché one bed trope that always makes you cringe."

      "It doesn't always make me cringe."

       "Oh yeah?"

       "Sometimes it's endearingly funny."

       "How so?"

       "Well, a specific example that comes to mind..." she started, grinning. "When the boy panics and turns into a bundle of nerves because he thinks the girl is going to hate him for it."

       Malaise fading instantly, I smiled sheepishly. "The boy sounds like an idiot," I said. Throwing myself across the bed, I covered my face with my hands, peaking at her through my fingers.

       "An endearingly funny idiot." She jumped onto the bed, filling the spot next to me. Inches away, staring at the white hotel ceiling as we laughed, the domesticity of the moment pulled at my heart strings. What a privilege it would have been, to wake next to her every morning for the next eighty years.

       "I'm still making a pillow wall," I informed her. I gathered extra pillows and blankets from the closet. "I'm hoping not to destroy your parents' liking of me."

       "I'm sure they'll appreciate that," she said, lip tight between her teeth, as if to refrain from laughing. She was definitely trying not to laugh at me.

       Through the darkness, not long after our goodnights, I felt the bed shake as Lexi jumped, both of us startled as the phone rang.

      Fumbling out the blanket, tripping on my feet, I reached for the hotel phone breathlessly. "Hello?"

       "Little late," Amir greeted. I recognized the arrogant tone instantaneously. I could imagine his sly smirk. "No call for a cot. Just wanted to make sure your phone was working."

       "Shut up," I mumbled tiredly, hanging up without another word.

       While I settled back into bed, Lexi leaned over our makeshift wall. She quirked a curious brow.

       "I've developed an odd relationship with the receptionist." With that final remark we both went to sleep.

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