The fresh snowfall and warnings of an upcoming storm pretty much confirmed my suspicions.

      My time had officially run out.

      Even faced with a storm, Conrad refused to post-pone his party. If anything, he displayed more enthusiasm towards hosting a memorable party. Storm said to begin late in the night, only light flurries dusting the roads during the day, Conrad opted to let everyone stay over. The determination and timing of it all made me pause. I had been to many parties, but rarely during the winter. Conrad had no reason for throwing the party, no reason for wanting it so bad. I suspected the meddling of the same forces that had granted my special offer. I thought this was their way of gifting me a last chance to make memories with my newest friends. A last chance to enjoy myself before all was taken away from me. As grateful as I was for the extra day, I wished I would have been granted the same opportunity with my family and other friends. I had so much to tell them, and though the letters would have to suffice, the pieces of paper couldn't deliver my messages to the same extent that I wished. But I counted myself lucky, knowing that most didn't get the same luxury of any sort of goodbye.

       Movie-like breakfast awaiting me, I smiled at the pancakes, whipped cream, fruits, bacon, and chocolate milk, neatly placed across the table. If I hadn't already been sure of my earlier suspicions, the out of character, peppiness to my grandfather, would have been the last confirmation I needed.

       Greeted with a large smile, I laughed, shooting an impressed gaze at the table filled with food.

       "I figured you'd enjoy a big breakfast before the party," grandpa said, over-enthusiastically.

      Tone catching at the word party, I thought it evident that he was attempting to hide my approaching departure. He was doing a poor job of keeping it a secret.

      "Don't worry about it, Grandpa," I reassured, mountain of food on my plate threatening to crumble. "I already know."

      Grandpa sighed. "You'll have the rest of the day," he promised. "You'll get to spend most of the night with Lexi... I'll come get you when the time comes."

      "Thank you." It occurred to me how ridiculous my casual tone was, speaking through a mouthful as though we were speaking of the man picking me up for a dentist appointment.

      Grandpa forced a smile and turned to busy himself with the dishes. I watched him hesitate, pause by the sink for a few moments, before turning around once again.

      "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're in a good mood," he tried. "But—"

      "I know," I interrupted softly, smile flickering. "But I'll be okay."

      Grandpa remained apprehensive but said no more on the matter. He probably thought I was in denial. He was probably right, but I just wanted to enjoy my last day. I didn't want to waste my time on anger and regret. If that meant I was in denial, so be it.

      Grandpa stayed with me until a knock was heard from the front door, announcing the four girls' arrival.

      Walking in with bags of clothes slung on their shoulders, the four looked excited. Lexi carried two boxes of pizza on top of her things, and Angela who came in last, carried a case of coolers, enough to suffice the lot.

      "I've got more out on the porch." The blonde smirked. "These are just the pre-drinks."

      Laughing, I took a load off their hands, helping them deposit their belongings on the living room table.

      As soon as they had all taken a seat and slice of pizza, Ange handed them all a drink. I kindly declined her offer, choosing against the influence it might have on my night. This was a night I wanted to remember and remember with a clear head. I was thankful that she didn't question my decision, but I feared Conrad would put up a fight. I hoped that if I was the designated driver, the boys would let it slide.

      "We're going to sleep at Julia's grandparents. We'll walk. They only live a few houses away from Conrad's," Angela said casually, clueless to the fact that she had just ruined my excuse. Hopefully, the boys weren't the type to pester someone on their reasons for not drinking.

      "But Lexi's not sure what she's doing yet," Angela added, biting into her pizza as she shot me a pointed look.

       With a brief frown, I chose to ignore whatever she was hinting at. Sometimes it was best not to question Ange's idea; can in her hands already nearly empty, I figured the statement now truer than ever.

       "Whatever you decide, I can definitely drive you home tonight, if that's what you want," I offered, perking up at the idea. At this point I was grasping for any, even if small, increase of time spent with her.

      Small smile of gratitude, Lexi nodded before taking a rather large gulp from the bottle in her hand. I barely had time to worry about Lexi's unusual state, I was side-tracked by a snort coming from Ange's direction. Returning my attention to the blonde, she rolled her eyes and mouthed Moron. Deeply confused, I tried the other two; Julia was smirking at the floor and even Kianna's bottom lip was sucked in tightly between her teeth, act of supressing a smile. What was I missing? Gaze switching between each of the girls a few more times, I gave up, choosing instead to save myself likely embarrassment. It was probably better that I don't know.

      Few more empty cans on my table, Lexi and her friends were unquestionably enjoying themselves. I reveled in the way they were letting loose. Singing along to Julia's playlist, this was how I would choose to remember them.

       Soon to leave, the girls got ready together, requesting my aid in the choosing of their outfits. Much to their amusement, I proved to be of little help, highly perplexed with the multiple makeup products that I wrongfully believed to be the same shade. Sat right next to me, Lexi and I watched the other three perfect their looks. Head resting on my shoulder, Lexi was as confused as me.

      "I didn't realize so much work was put into some of your looks" I noted impressed, eyes darting to the discarded clothes and products that littered the floor. "I shall never again complain that girls' take long to get ready."

      With a quiet giggle Lexi's lips parted to reply, but she lost her train of thought upon noticing Ange's impatient look. One hand clamping and unclamping a hair straightener, the other beckoned Lexi over with a finger.

       "Me?" Lexi asked, brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and fear.

      Angela rolled her eyes. "If Jaxson wants his hair straightened, I've no problem with that," she remarked. "But, yes, I meant you."

      I shook my head, pushing Lexi in front of me.

      "Why?" Lexi complained, ignoring the fact that I was using her as a shield. "What's wrong with my hair?"

      "Nothing, but you wear it that way all the time. I just want to try something different."

      "But I've got no one to impress," she said, smirking as she shot me a sideways glance. "He said he likes my hair no matter how I choose to style it."

      "Then, he'll have no problem with this new look."

      Impossible to win an argument against Ange, it was no surprise that Lexi gave in. Pillow beneath her, Lexi took a seat on the floor, Angela quick to get started on reversing her long curls.

      "And I'm not dressing to impress some boy," Ange clarified, tone of defense destructive to the statement's credibility. "I'm looking good for myself."

      Brows cocked, Lexi's look of disbelief was shielded from the girl, but I caught sight of it and had to bite back a smile.

      "I've heard that Conrad's quite the sucker for blue eyes," I brought up casually, earning a knowing smirk from all but the blonde.

      Meeting my pointed look, Ange cocked a sharp brow, obvious disinterest in her expression meant to silently say "So?"

     "He especially likes when one wears a shirt that brings out the color of their eyes."

     "Then you better get changed, otherwise Lexi might have reason to be jealous," she retorted, nodding towards my blue long sleeve.

      Despite her continued act of disinterest, I noted her eyes subtly drift to the blue tube-top she had abandoned. I smirked victoriously.

       "I don't see your legs moving, Scott," Ange said. "We're almost ready, you really do need to go change."

       "This is what I planned on wearing."

      Thinking my expression similar to Lexi's when asked to style her hair, Ange looked up from Lexi's hair. She shot me the same hopeless look that she had directed my girlfriend moments ago.

      "You wore that shirt Tuesday."

      "It's a nice shirt," I defended.

      "It's an average, everyday life shirt. Tonight, is special, and deserving of fancy clothing."

      Still not understanding what was so special about the party, the stern look that reminded me of my mother, was enough to convince me to do as she asked. Disappearing at the top of the staircase, I caught a last glimpse of Kianna approaching a suddenly worried Lexi, with a mascara brush.

      Giggles downstairs music to my ears, I searched my closet for a suitable top. Trying on a white long sleeve that I had worn to my aunts wedding two years ago, it could have done the job, had I not found it thrown carelessly on the floor, heavily wrinkled. In the process of removing the shirt, my bedroom door opened.

      "I was sent to make sure you were competent enough to choose an appropriate outfit," Lexi informed me, heading towards my closet.

      "And they trusted you to make that judgement?"

      Hands searching through my clothes, she briefly turned her head to stick her tongue out at me.

      Discarding the wrinkled, white material, I waited patiently, laughing at her astonishment of my lacking organization. Finally, content, Lexi spun around, maroon button-up, short sleeve in hand.

       "This one," she announced triumphantly.

       Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I took the top from her grasp. Pulling my arms through the thick material, I caught a glimpse of the appreciation in Lexi's fixed gaze on my bare torso. My cheeks redden, but still I smirked.

      "It seems when you're under the influence, you lose the ability to be subtle."

      Lexi didn't even try to deny it. Her gaze lingered a few more moments, before looking up with her own smirk. "I'm a little tipsy," she admitted.

      Chuckling, I reached behind her to close the closet door. Stepping out of the way, Lexi tripped on her feet, and lost her balance. I was quick to steady her. Hands still on her hips, I looked down at her with pure amusement.

      "Just a little?" I teased. "It's cute though. Your eyes are droopy and you're quite flushed."

      "When am I not flushed?"

      I howled with laughter. Standing so close, I fully took her in. My amused façade was replaced by the biting of my lip. I had always thought Lexi pretty, drawn to her the moment I first laid eyes on her, but there was something about the way she looked in that moment that stirred a whole new kind of longing, deep in my gut. The straight hair matured her features, mascara brought attention to her already captivating dark, nearly black eyes, and the shirt she had borrowed from Julia fit her perfectly. The sheer, black long sleeve fell an inch above the waistline of her skinny jeans, and low neckline showed much more than she was usually comfortable with. The outfit really served to accentuate all of her best features, and I was certain that it would torture me all night. Lip tight between my teeth, I wanted to forget about the party. But I figured her friends wouldn't appreciate me ruining the little makeup they had managed to put on her. Luckily, Lexi also seemed to remember our visitors. She took a step back, playful expression returned.

      "You look good," she noted.

      "Thank—"

      Feigned look of apology, Lexi pointed at the mirror behind me. "I was talking to myself."

      Eyes wide in surprise and delight, I watched her slowly, almost in a way to taunt me, walk out of my room.

       "You really do look good," I called with a grin.

      Stopping just short of the doorway, she offered me a smile.

      "Drop, dead gorgeous," I added with a smirk, knowing the comment would make her pause.

      "Too far." She cringed. Lips still turned upwards, she disappeared into the hallway.

      Feet planted in place; I admired the spot she last stood. I was very much looking forward to what I knew would be an unforgettable night.

      "You weren't wrong though," Lexi joked, poking her head back into the doorway. Grabbing my hand, she dragged me downstairs.

      Despite the time of day, Conrad seemed to already have had more drinks than the girls. Having heard my old engine, he greeted us at the door, pulling us in with excitement.

      Snow turning the evening into an indoor party, less people showed up. Funnily enough, those who did come, were the people that I had gotten the opportunity to meet during my short time at Cranray High... Strange how that worked out.

      I had believed the girls would keep to themselves, to not draw attention to themselves, but on the contrary, they spent most of the evening on the space that had been designated as the dance floor (Conrad's living room sofas pushed to the walls to leave most of the room free). At times they were even the only one's dancing, enjoying themselves far too much to take a seat.

      Not much of a dancer, I sat nearby, never straying too far away from Lexi. Chatting easily with Conrad, I smiled at the four's cheesy dance moves.

      With a dramatic spin, Lexi faced me and beckoned me with the tilting of her head, nodding towards the empty space next to her. Shooting her a smile, I remained seated, hoping that if I ignored her gesture, she would let it go. She did not. Smiling brightly, she approached Conrad and me.

      "Please come dance."

      Looking into her pleading brown eyes, there was no way I was denying her request. She had me wrapped around her little finger. I let her pull me from my seat.

      "You too," she told Conrad, taking him by the wrist.

      Lexi dragged us towards the centre of the room, instantly falling back into sync with the other dancing teenagers.

      More people gradually joining, until everyone was crammed onto the small dance floor, I was admittedly enjoying the dancing. Lexi bouncing around right next to me, everyone signing along to the music and adding the odd horrendous dance moves just for laughs, my smile couldn't have been bigger considering the circumstances. The smiles, goofy faces, and laughter of those who surrounded me that night, would forever be embedded in my mind.

      As the night went on, the dancing slowed, but the positive mood remained as prominent. Cooling down on one of the sofa's, I sat alone with a glass of water. I wasn't alone long; Lexi took a seat next to me. Leaning into me, I kissed her temple, smiling as we watched our friends. Few still dancing, we spotted, Angela, Conrad, Kianna, and Julia sat on the floor in the corner of the room. Drinks in each of their hands, Conrad and Angela were sat within inches of each other, thighs brushing. Speaking clumsily with their hands, the four shared many giggles.

      "You think we can go back to your place?" Lexi asked tentatively, surprising me.

      I turned her way and frowned. "Are you not enjoying yourself?"

      Lexi shook her head immediately to oppose my statement. "It was a lot of fun. The party was great... I just think we could have as much fun at your place... alone."

      Was this fate's last way of gifting me more time with her? No longer uncontrollably swaying, and words no longer slurred, I realised that Lexi had long sobered up. She had few drinks since our arrival.

      Taking long to answer, Lexi waited awkwardly. Snapping out of my thoughts, I shot her an apologetic smile. "Of course," I finally answered. "If it's what you want, we can definitely go back to my place."

      Lexi heaved a breath of relief and took my hands. Together we walked towards our friends.

      They stood to greet us.

      "You leaving?" Ange asked knowingly.

      While the girls' made move to hug Lexi, I turned towards Conrad.

      "Thanks for tonight," I said, stepping closer to be heard over the music. "Thanks for everything, actually. You took me under your wing even though you didn't need to."

      "What are friends for?" Conrad smiled nonchalantly, pulling me into a hug.

      I had promised myself to live in the moment, to push away thoughts of my fate until they could no longer be ignored but embracing Conrad who had become such a great friend, I couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that I was going to miss him dearly.

      The girls watching us separate, I shared my gaze of appreciation with them as well.

       "Thank you all, too," I said. "You made my transfer a lot easier, and I'll forever cherish all that you've done for me."

      I knew they would think my words cheesy, as they didn't know the real purpose behind them, but this was the last time I would see them, and I needed them to know the extent of my appreciation. They didn't question my words. Instead, they pulled us into a group hug.

      Pulling away with a heavy heart, I followed Lexi towards the exit.

       "See you later, buddy," Conrad called.

       Words stirring a deep ache in my chest, I forced a smile. Their reciprocated smiles were the last I saw of them.

      Roads getting worse as the snow rapidly accumulated, the drive home was much longer than usual. Promising that grandpa wouldn't make no surprise appearance, Lexi looked relieved.

      Pulling my Astha Fall's hockey sweater over her shivering body, we sat in the kitchen awhile, munching on a variety of snacks, speaking animatedly of the night. Time passed without my knowledge, seconds ticking away at an absurdly rapid pace. Somehow, and I'm still not sure whose idea it had been, we found ourselves in my room. Sat on my bed, we watched the flurries in the comfort of my grey covers.

       "As much as I dislike the cold, the snowflakes really are beautiful, aren't they?" Lexi remarked, nuzzled into my chest.

      In spite of the churn in my stomach, I hummed in agreeance. I used to think the soft falling of snow beautiful, but what used to represent the beginning of my favourite season, now marked the end of my life.

      Hugging her closely, we sat silently a few moments longer.

      "I'm glad you convinced us to go," she said, turning her head slightly so I could see her. "We never would have stepped out of our comfort zone like this, without you."

      I shook my head. "I'm sure you would have. You didn't need me to have fun tonight."

      Fully turning around to face me, she pushed me gently so that I was laying on my back. Leaning over me, delicately she held my face between her small hands. Meeting my eyes, her tone was soft.

      "You have repeatably made a bid deal of my low self-esteem, but you are no better," she commented. "I wish you knew just how big of an impact you've already had on my life... I love you so much."

      Noses bumping, my heart raced at the intensity of the burning desire in her dark eyes; a desire that certainly reflected my own. Lights off, only the moon illuminated us. Moonlight reflecting on her large pupils, and a beautiful glow casted on her pale skin, I couldn't resist. I brought my lips to hers, moving slowly as though to appreciate and memorized everything about them; to savour her taste and smell. Lexi responded with the same passion; breath shuddered in anticipation.

      We kissed, losing track of time as both our hands trembled in restrained desires. We moved leisurely, Lexi as if she had all the time in the world, me as if to slow down time. Feeling her smile against my lips, I couldn't bare the guilt, increasingly aware that the news that I would soon have no choice but to share would be quick to vanish the beautiful upward curving of her lips.

      Still lain on top of me, Lexi's small hands removed the shirt that she had chosen for me few hours ago. Again, I didn't stop her. I wanted the same she did, just as bad as she. I wanted to be selfish; wanted to pretend I was a normal teenage boy spending the night with his girlfriend... But I couldn't. I had too much respect for her. I had too much respect for myself to be dishonest, to be selfish.

       The words I had to speak, forced me to face the truth. World coming crumbling down before me, a lump swelled deep in my throat, constricting my breathing.

      "Lexi—" I tried weakly, forgetting the rest of the sentence as Lexi bit softly at the skin just below the end of my jawline.

      Groan a result of her actions, my breathing become increasingly labored, the task of finding self-control never having been so difficult.

      "Stop," I finally managed to croak; face contorted as though the word alone had caused me intractable pain.

      Lexi froze. Sitting up-right on top of me, she looked stricken. "Did I do something wrong?"

      "No," I chuckled painfully, eyes crinkled in agony.

      Sitting up as well, I leaned against my headboard, as though in need of the support. Still straddling me, Lexi looked worried.

      "You did everything so, so right," I reassured, eyes shut in attempt to find fitting words, desperately trying to control my emotions. I didn't want to be the one to break her heart. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

      Perceiving my agony, Lexi placed her palms against my cheeks and brought our foreheads together. She forced my deep blue eyes to meet her brown ones. My eyes blurred with tears; my broken state only further worrying her. I felt her pulse racing where I held her wrist in my hand; pulse pounding in desperation to help me, as though she sensed that something horrible was to come.

      "Jaxson," she said, voice a soft whisper. "Please tell what's wrong?"

      Sweet, caring tone only making the telling of truth more difficult, I swallowed hard. I shut my eyes, again. The thought of seeing her expression when I told her, was too much to bear.

      "I'm dead," I whispered, voice barely audible, as though speaking the words quietly would make them less true.

      Eyes remaining shut, few seconds following no response, I opened them. Lexi looked conflicted; torn between being angry that I was too scared to admit the truth and had instead made-up nonsense or to choose to trust that I thought I was being honest, believing in the nonsense I spat.

      I sighed. I couldn't blame her for thinking I was out of it but explaining it all made it so much more difficult.

      "I know how this is going to sound, but I need you to give me the benefit of the doubt. I need you to try to believe me," I requested urgently. "I would never lie to you unless I had no other choice... Do you trust me?"

      "Of course, I trust you."

       Small smile in response to her statement, I took a deep breath. "Am I right to assume that today is January 23rd?"

       Lexi nodded, small frown as she failed to anticipate the significance of my question. Despite her disbelief, I could tell she was doing her best to take me seriously, and I was incredibly grateful.

      "Even I don't quite understand how I could be at two places at once, but my little sister, Mila, had a ballet recital tonight. I don't know if it happened yet, but if it hasn't, any time now, my family car hits black ice and spins off the road, into a tree... And I die in that crash."

      Eyes narrowed; Lexi's breath caught in her throat; internal conflict of remaining true to her vow to trust me but choosing to believe me meaning her whole world would be turned upside down.

      "Remember when I asked if you could forgive your soulmate coming back to life so he could meet you?"

      Face dropping, Lexi's eyes blurred. She shook her head violently not to answer my question but as a result of the dread of what was to come.

      "I was asked if I wanted to help someone that I was destined to meet. I'm sorry if it was selfish, but I couldn't refuse... It's why I've been completely cut off from my old life. You only got to meet my grandad because he passed away a few years ago." Pausing, I reached towards my night table and retrieved grandpa's obituary picture from my wallet.

      Examining the small picture, tears splashed onto Lexi's cheeks.

     "No," Lexi muttered, tone as broken as mine.

     Wiping her tears with my thumbs, I pulled her closer, resting my forehead against hers again.

     "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I murmured. "I understand if you still can't fully believe me, and if you need more proof, that's ok. We can look into my sister's dance recital, drive up the road of the crash or call the hospital, but I'd rather that not be the way we spend our last night together."

      Sniffling, Lexi shook her head lightly. I knew that by some miracle she believed me.

      "Is there nothing that can be done?" she asked, following a choked sob.

      "There's no changing my fate," I told her. "Lexi, you believe in yourself; you've proved that you can love yourself. My task is done. You don't need me anymore."

      Tears flowing freely, they soaked the sweater I had given her. Lexi shook her head violently again.

     "I do need you," she hiccupped.

      "A wise person once told me that there was a difference between need and desire."

     Still, she shook her head. She took a moment to even her breathing, seeming to decide that she didn't want to spend the last hours we had, crying.

      Sluggishly calming down, as though relishing in the fact that I was still very much in front of her and breathing, her features pinched together in realization.

      "I made you do homework!" she said, eyes puffy and voice cracking in distress. "You only had a few months; we should have been doing things from your bucket list. You spent your last days boosting my ego, going to the library, and reading... I even convinced you to leave the party!"

      Chuckling lightly as she rambled, I kissed the top of her nose.

      "There's no other way that I'd rather spend my last hours," I promised. "Expected to do this for you, I never expected to get so much out of it. You make leaving very difficult, but I don't regret taking the offer. Every moment it brought, is worth the pain now. You've given my life purpose, and I need you to understand that if I could go back, I wouldn't change a single decision I've made."

      Voice too broken to speak, Lexi leaned into me, more tears slipping at my words. I didn't want to make it more difficult for her, but there were things I still had to say.

      "I know it's not fair to ask, but I've written letters, and I have no one else to deliver them. Please make sure my family gets them... And when you read yours, I need you to know that I didn't write it just to make you feel good; I meant every word... Can you do that?" I requested softly.

      Lexi nodded without hesitation.

      "And this, I know you probably won't like," I started warily. "But I was hoping you could write my eulogy. I think it would be good for you and my family."

      Fear sparked behind her eyes, but she nodded without hesitation. "Anything."

     I forced a small smile of gratitude.

     "We can stop talking about it now," I tried to comfort her. "Pretend it's just another Saturday night."

      "I have things to say," she choked. Straightening herself and taking a deep breath, she tried to steady her voice and shaky hands. Struggling to express herself, I waited patiently, thumb drawing circles over her palms.

      "I always thought it was sad that most didn't get goodbyes, but lucky to have the chance, I don't know what to say." Her voice cracked at the word goodbye. "You've had such a significant impact on my life. I have so much to thank you for—" Voice breaking again, she paused, heaving a deep breath. "I can't even begin to express how much this is going to hurt."

      Faces still close, we clung to each other, as if we were both overcome by the fear that someone would tear the other way from our grasp. With shared teary gazes, a shiver ran over my spine at the intensity I found mirrored in her pupils. Shuddered breaths mingling, fingers clinging in desperation, our earlier passion returned and stole both of our breaths. Lips parting in anticipation, leisurely I brought our lips together. Ache and desperation, this kiss was like no other. It was full of need, lips moving together as though it was the only thing we knew. Tasting of salt, I hadn't believed this extent of passion possible. It took my breath away, quick breaths coming out in gasps. Nothing was close enough. Nothing was enough to fully satisfy the burning desire deep in my heart.

      Lexi offered me no verbal reassurance. She brought my forehead back to hers, tracing her thumb over my swollen lips. When she brought our lips back together again, parting mine with hers, there was no denying her answer to my voiced concern.

      Hours passed, and we never separated more than a few inches, refusing to ease our hold of the other. Despite her promise to stay awake until the time of my departure, Lexi eventually fell asleep atop my chest. She fought sleep for long, retelling her favourite memories and sharing many more soft kisses. But hours into the night, her sad eyes became too heavy. Head nestled on my chest; she fell asleep to the sound of my beating heart. I suspected sleep had been imposed on her, and decided it was for the best. I couldn't imagine ever finding the courage to leave if she were to stand so broken next to me.

      Despite the time, I showed no signs of fatigue. Wide awake, I pushed to side the dread and found peace in the soft sound of Lexi's breathing.

     Facing the girl rather than the door, I didn't need to hear or see grandpa to know he had arrived. I felt his presence and was instantly faced with a confusing mixture of distress and comfort.

      Clock striking 2:34 am, grandpa stood in my doorway. Turning to face him, I met the man's guilty expression and nodded. I understood what needed to happen... but that didn't make it any easier.

      Gaze shot at the girl in my arms, the lump in my throat returned. Eyes flickering shut in pain, a chocked sob escaped me. The thought of leaving her was too much to bear. Even in her sleep, her hands clutched at my shirt; fear that I would slip through her fingers. A fear well warranted, as that was exactly what was expected of me.

      Breaths ragged, I kissed the top of her head before I took her hands in mine and pried them away from my chest. Trembling hands still holding hers, I pulled the rest of my body out of her grasp. I had never felt so cold. Legs weak, I was forced to take pause. Kneeling next to my bed, I rested my head on our intertwined fingers, chest aching with the intensity of my gasps for air. Never would I have thought leaving would be so difficult. Nothing I had ever experienced had required such effort or caused me as much pain as finding the will to force my legs to a stand.

      With one last kiss, one last squeeze to her hands, I let go.

      Taking a few steps backwards, in my weak state, I stumbled. I fell into a crouch, arms on my knees in support. Desperately I tried to catch my breath, breathing transforming into a mixture of shuddered inhalations and chocked sobs. I couldn't move; couldn't breathe. Tears and pain blurring my vision, I remained crouched for many minutes.

      Just when I thought I would never be able to stand again; a comforting hand was placed on my shoulder.

      "I'm so sorry, my boy," grandpa said, rough tone evident of his shared ache.

      Hand resting on my shoulder, he didn't rush me. Only there for comfort, he waited patiently. With his support, I managed to stand again. Finally thinking I was ready, I caught a glimpse of Lexi's sleeping figure, and froze again. Alone in the big bed, she looked so peaceful. Free from her thoughts, she was shielded from pain, but I knew that in a few hours she would wake and remember it all. It broke my heart to think that she would wake alone; to think I wouldn't be there to comfort her.

      "She will wake in her own bed, with all that you have left her," grandpa reassured, easily reading my thoughts.

      With a shaky sigh of relief, I nodded, silent sign that I was as ready as I would ever be.

      One last lingering regard, tears spilling uncontrollably, I followed my grandfather. Hallway disappearing, my doorway displayed a familiar whiteness, bright light spilling into my bedroom. Tears still streaking my face, the ache in my chest was relieved, peace washed over me despite my lingering sadness.

      Grandpa's hand still on my shoulder, together we walked into the light.