The waiting room always creeped him. It seemed so superficial and fake. The posters with smiling children and happy, motivational sayings plastered around the room. Sure, they were supposed to be inspirational and make kids feel less fucked up but it wasn't even helping. The people who come here know they're fucked up. Plastering these shitty posters isn't going to change their view.

A little child, clinging to his mum's leg was watching the TV while she read the magazine. The TV was muted with subtitles on the music channel. He can't even read. Still, he seemed entertained by the bright colours and people in the music video.

The time had rolled around for Jungkook's therapy session and once again, all three of them waited anxiously for Jungkook to return, to see if he was doing any better. The constant wait for Jungkook was the worst. He hated having to watch the clock slowly tick away time, every passing minute mocking Yoongi. The worst experience.

It fucking sucked knowing that Jungkook was here because of his shitty parents and teenage years.

Jin was to his left, reading one of the pamphlets on sexuality and the struggles of coming out. Several different pamphlets (and possibly an actual book) were layered on his lap. Every so often, he'd scoff, eyebrows raised. Other occasions, he'd hum in pleasure, lips curling into a small smile. The moment he was finished, he'd set it back into the rack and pick up another pamphlet and continue reading. A particular pamphlet in Jin's lap caught his eye.

A brightly coloured background with smiling parents hugging their son decorated the front. The words, 'Coming Out: How Simple and Easy' written across the top.

The fake colours on the pamphlets screamed naivety. Nothing is easy when it comes to outing yourself.

Taehyung was on his phone, switching from playing some game or chatting to Taemin. He'd look up every time someone else was called for their appointment before going back to his conversation. A permanent frown was etched onto Tae's face that only seemed to deepen the longer they sat here.

The three of them had been here nearly an hour which meant Jungkook should be done soon if it ran according to time and schedule.

Despite the tiny crowd, it was completely different. A few teenagers (or what Yoongi thought were teenagers) sat across from him, all minding their own business. At one point, a mum and her toddler had left for an appointment and Yoongi was yet to see them again. Another child was talking to herself. Several older men and women were watching the young child and Yoongi couldn't tell if they were related or not.

'Stop staring at everyone. What's the bet you're creeping everyone out?' Jin hissed, breaking his concentration on the pamphlets to scold his roommate. Cheeks heated, Yoongi turned to Jin.

'Sorry. Why are you reading those pamphlet things?' He kept his voice low, afraid of disrupting the quiet atmosphere that had settled across the waiting room.

'It's interesting. I wish I had read these before I came out to my family,' Jin huffed and handed one to Yoongi. 'Make yourself useful and read one of these. Stop creeping everyone out. They've got enough problems without you watching their every move.' Sighing, Yoongi glanced at it before letting it fall to his lap. I don't need any of these. They're fake and don't offer any solid advice.

'How long until Kook's done?' He whined, watching the clock. When no one answered him, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to ignore the pang in his chest at Hoseok's name flashing on his screen. Two messages were written across the screen, their contents hidden

Ever since he'd made the shitty mistake of answering Hoseok a few days ago, he'd ignored the younger male. He wasn't ready to answer him just yet. So instead of you know, being sensible and texting an explanation, hey I'm sorry. I can't reply just yet. Not ready to talk. Will soon tho. He'd ignored Hoseok every time a new message came through. A pang erupted in his chest every time.

A small part of him wanted to blame the limited alcohol in his system for being so fucking stupid but deep down, he knew the alcohol had nothing to do with it. Yoongi wouldn't admit it (not yet) but he was missing Hoseok.

Turning his brightness down, he opened Hoseok's tab and did his best to read them. You won't answer him yet you go and read his fucking messages. Where's the logic?

Hope: Hey Yoongi.

Hope: I really miss you.

Hope: Can I explain everything. Please

Hope: I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please let me explain everything

Hope: I really miss you.

Having enough of the heartache this gave him, he glanced up and grinned. Jungkook had returned and Mark stood behind him. The size difference between the two of them shouldn't be funny, but it was. While Jungkook's usually the biggest at the apartment, he looks tiny compared to Mark.

He watches the younger male scan the room, fingers fidgeting with his shirt. His lip was pulled between his teeth and his nerves radiating off him. Kook there's no reason to be nervous. Yet, the moment his eyes land on Tae, his whole body deflates and this small, reserved-only-for-Tae smile appears and everything suddenly feels okay.

'Tae.' Jungkook let out a nervous breath once he saw his boyfriend. Immediately, Taehyung stands up, knocking the chair back into the wall. He rushes over and pulls the youngest male into a hug. Jungkook's hands went straight to Tae's shirt, gripping it so hard his knuckles went white.

Jin replaced all the pamphlets back into their spots before making his way over, a small grin on his face. Mark nodded his head to the two boys hugging and Jin got the memo. Fishing some change out of his pockets, he taps Tae and slips it into his hand.

'Go buy yourself some ice-cream from Namjoon down the road. Please.' Taehyung with a confused look, takes the money and drags Jungkook out of the room.

Once the two were out of earshot, Mark leads Jin and Yoongi down to the room he just exited. He closed the door behind them and sat them down. Confused, Yoongi turns his full attention to Mark.

'How's Jungkook at home?' Straight to the point.

Jin speaks for both of them, eyebrows furrowed, 'he's alright. More or less anxious and stressed. He rarely leaves the house nowadays and Tae has to be there with him if he does. Why?' Mark nods.

'I'm not supposed to talk about patients outside of their sessions without consent. But Jungkook has given me permission to talk about a few things with you two.' Jin shifted in his seat and leaned forward.

'Enlighten us. Please.'

'He's opened up more since the first session. There's still so much he's kept hidden and refuses to talk about but at the same time, he's come a far way than most of my patients in such a short time,' Mark took a deep breath. 'His relationship with Kim Taehyung is a special one, correct?' Jin nodded.

'I've never seen two people so fucking in love.' Yoongi mumbled, regretting his words the moment they left his mouth. Thankfully though, Mark just laughed.

'He talks about Taehyung a lot. Especially today. Unfortunately, that's confidential,' the older male shook his head before turning serious again. 'Do you know about what happened with his parents?' Jin shook his head while Yoongi nodded.

'I know most of it. Kookie doesn't like talking about it that often.' He admitted and Mark grimaced.

'How close are you with Jungkook?'

'He's our roommate. I'd say we're pretty close. He's closer to Tae and Yoongi than he is to me.' Jin said.

'I'm just gonna say you're his parental figures. What's his behaviour like at home?'

'We don't see him as often. Tae spends more time with him than we do. Do to my classes and work, I'm rarely home nowadays and Yoongi's been... busy to say the least,' Jin frowned. 'Why?'

An expression crossed Mark's face, like he was struggling to say the right thing. Confidentiality is key. 'I'm not allowed to talk about this. It was one thing Jungkook said not to mention. I respect his decisions. The only time I'm allowed to converse with parents and carers is if it either concerns their health risk or I've been given permission,' He explained before taking a deep breath. 'But do keep an eye on him at home. I'm sorry I can't say more.'

'So what you're basically implying is that Kook's thought about suicide?' Jin asked and Mark hesitated before nodding. Yoongi felt a punch in his gut.The thought of Jungkook wanting to kill himself shook him to his core. One glance at Jin and he knew the older male was thinking the same thing.

'Like I said, I can't confirm nor deny that due to confidentiality here. Just keep an eye on him. He seems to be getting better but I can't be too sure,' Mark stood and signalled for the other two to do the same. 'Thank you for your time today, gentlemen. Please, don't be afraid to get in touch with me if something arises.' With a nod from Jin and a handshake from Yoongi, the two of them were out the door.

The moment the two of them were standing outside the entrance, Jin mumbled, 'Fuck.' Yoongi hummed in agreement. Everything was too much to take in.

'It's such an odd thought. Our Kook?' Jin shook his head in disbelief. Yoongi whipped out his phone, opening Tae's tab.

Yoongi: You shits still at Joons?

Taebae: Ye. Come get us. Namjoonie won't stop complaining about Jin.

Taebae: he's like asking us about Jin and I can't eat my ice-cream.

Yoongi: Coming soon lmao.

'You have such a needy boyfriend.' Yoongi said and Jin giggled.

'Oh, I know. Let's go get those shits.'

***

Jin dropped the three of them home after ice-cream before speeding away to get to his class.

Taehyung had this huge smirk on his face and the moment he'd entered the apartment, he'd dashed off down the hallway. Yoongi had no idea what was happening but the evil laughter that flowed throughout the apartment gave him suspicions. He didn't really want to stick around for Tae's shenanigans.

Just as he was about to head out though, Taehyung returned, a Santa Hat falling in his eyes and a large box in his arms. Fear seized Yoongi and his heart sank. Its Christmas season. Right.

Of course he knew it was December but it just hadn't clicked that Christmas was right around the corner, creeping up on him. As to how Yoongi hadn't noticed the decorations scattered around city was beyond him but it was Christmas season.

Suddenly the idea of sleeping until January was very appealing.

'You aren't leaving until you help set this shit up.' Taehyung demanded, shaking the box in his arms. The rattling of baubles and bells pulled at his heart, reminding him of Hoseok. Not everything should be reminding you of him.

'I don't want to help, Tae.' He mumbled, not meeting the younger male's eyes. Jungkook placed a soft hand on Yoongi's shoulder.

'Why? It's sort of tradition? Please?' Jungkook begged and Yoongi tried not to give in but the shiny, wide-eyed look on Kook's face forced him to give in. With a sigh, Yoongi nodded. With a squeal, Jungkook dragged Yoongi by the wrist into the lounge room and forced him to his knees.

Taehyung handed Jungkook the Christmas hats before opening the box, eyes lit with excitement. As much as he hated the festive season right now, Yoongi loved the excitement and pure childlike expressions on Tae and Jungkook.

'I refuse to wear a hat.' Yet it was like he hadn't even said anything because the next thing he knew, the itchy wool had come in contact with his skin, threatening to fall into his eyes. With a huff, Yoongi pushes it out of his eyes but doesn't take it off. Jungkook struggles to keep his own Santa Hat on but doesn't complain, instead just grins.

'We can be triplets!' He shouted, throwing his hands in the air. The small twitch of Yoongi's heart at the amount of delight radiating off Jungkook made all this a little more bearable.

'Alright let's just get this shit over and done with.' Yoongi mumbled but his gummy smile shone through his exterior.

Walking across the room on his knees, Tae dragged over the $3 tree they got from the convenience store. He placed in the centre of the three of them and began yanking out all the baubles and tinsels. Before Yoongi could blink, Jungkook had grabbed the silver tinsel and wrapped it around his neck, laughing. Taehyung yanked on the tinsel and kissed him, his face filled with complete adoration.

Yoongi gagged, shouting, 'alright that's enough! Let's decorate this tree so I can do other shit.' The two broke apart and began decorating the tree.

Yoongi didn't do much, just sat on the sidelines watching the two of them. Neither Tae nor Jungkook seemed to notice his lack of participate (or they didn't care). Instead, both of them hooked red baubles around their ears before shaking their heads, giggling.

Tae had wrapped at least five different coloured tinsel ropes around the tree, leaving next to no room for the baubles hanging off Jungkook's fingers. The younger male pouted, trying to find a spare branch for his baubles.

When Jungkook let out a whine, waving his hands in front of his boyfriend's face, Tae just kissed him. He pulled the decorations off Jungkook's fingers, sticking them on his side of the tree. Jungkook just grinned. Once they realised they'd run out of room, they began hanging and decorating themselves in the decorations.

Jungkook wrapped another three ropes of tinsel around his boyfriend, causing the older male to cough and scratch. He then tied a few more baubles to Taehyung's ears. Immediately, they fell off and bounced across the hard flooring.

Yoongi didn't realise he was watching the two with a stupid gummy smile until Jungkook pointed it out. 'Oi. Why are you looking at us like that?' Yoongi's smile only expanded, his cheeks hurting.

'I love seeing the both of you laughing like this.' Tae threw a fake Santa at him but the way his eyes had softened gave it away.

'Stop being a sap. How's the tree?' Jungkook asked and Yoongi gave them a thumbs up in approval.

'Looks good. Where's it going?' The younger males shrugged.

Taehyung suggested 'Kitchen?' the same time Jungkook answered with, 'in here.' The two of them glared at eachother before bursting into a fit of giggles.

'Alright that's enough you two. Calm down,' Yoongi said. 'So, Kook, how're you feeling?' Yoongi asked. His conversation with Mark kept returning to his brain. Jungkook shrugged.

'I'm okay.'

'You look happier, Kookie.' Taehyung decided to join in, watching his boyfriend. His hands fidgeted with a piece of tinsel. Jungkook's smile faded.

'I'm sorry I've been terrible lately. Because of all the sessions with Mark, he's pretty much making me relive my past and it's putting me down,' He explained and Taehyung crawled around the tree, his arms going around Jungkook. 'I don't mean to be sad and anxious and just an utter shitball.'

'Its okay, Kook. We get it. As long as you're getting better. That's really all that matters to me.' Taehyung soothed, his fingers playing with the younger male's hair. Jungkook relaxed into the touch. The next words that come out of his mouth are soft and whispered. Yoongi had to strain his ears to hear.

'I know no longer want to kill myself as often. Mostly because of Tae but also because of the therapy sessions. They're helping.' His words were stuttered and unsure. Taehyung, with tears gathered in his eyes, hugged Jungkook so tightly Yoongi was afraid he'd kill the younger one.

'I love you so fucking much, Kook,' the rest of his sentence was whispered but Jungkook's eyes widened and he gripped Tae's shirt tightly. Yoongi looked away, not really wanting to witness this heartfelt moment.

After they broke apart, the two of them went back to admiring the tree.

He pulled his phone out and noticed the missed message from Jin, ten minutes ago.

Jinnie: You didn't find a note recently?????????

Confused, Yoongi answered.

Yoongi: no lol. Why?

Jinnie: No reason :/

Alright then. His finger was on the off button, ready to turn it off when another message came through.

Jinnie: Also, I've got another late class tonight. Don't wait up.

Yoongi: Seriously?

Jinnie: Ye. I've got about half an hour left of this then ive got 2 more today.

Yoongi: It's,,,, Christmas,,,,

Jinnie: and? Education is important!1!1!

Jinnie: Sarcasm ^

Yoongi: stop texting me and focus jfc.

'So, what do you guys feel like for dinner? We can go out or we can order in. Jin's not coming home until late and I can't be assed to cook anything.' Taehyung shared a look with Jungkook before shrugging.

'You decide. Oh! What about that restaurant we went to with Hoseokie and Jiminie?' Taehyung offered and Yoongi tried to ignore the way his heart clenched at the mention (and nickname given) of Hoseok. Stop this!

'Sounds cool,' the three of them stood up, Jungkook teetering and swaying on his feet. 'Go and get rid of this shit. Also throw on some nice clothes, for fucksakes.' Yoongi mumbled as the two dashed off down the hallway, giggling.

***

It was nearing nine when the three of them returned from dinner, Tae complaining about a full stomach and Jungkook was laughing to himself.

The apartment was quiet (apart from the two making noise) and dark, signalling that Jin wasn't home yet. Yoongi threw his keys onto the counter with a sigh. How long do classes actually take?

'Alright, off to bed you two. Don't fucking argue. Go.' Yoongi demanded and Taehyung whined.

'But why? You aren't the boss and I'm not tired.' He stomped his foot, sounding like a five year old. Irritated, Yoongi turned to them.

'Just... please.' Yoongi didn't mean for his words to come out begging but they did and he couldn't bring himself to actually care. Jungkook narrowed his eyes, studying his roommate.

'Are you okay?' He asked, face laced with concern.

'Tired. Now please, off to bed. I just want to sleep.' Yoongi whispered, padding to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him softly, leaning against it. He could hear the younger male's footsteps retreating to their bedroom, their voices blocked by the door.

Truthfully, Yoongi wasn't that tired. He was annoyed. Being in the restaurant had bugged him.

The waitress had seated them right across from the table they'd been at when Hoseok was there. Even though it should've meant nothing, Yoongi couldn't help but recall the memories of that night.

The memories of Hoseok in general.

He'd tried really hard not to dwell on the absence of his friend and the hole in his heart and it was easy when you had so much on your plate but now, his heart felt heavy. His eyes felt dry and teary at the same time, throat closed up and tight, and cutting off his breathing. You need to fucking stop. He fucking hurt you. This isn't healthy. Taking deep breaths, Yoongi tried to calm himself down as he made his way to his side of the room. Crawling under the covers, a hiccup escaped his mouth before he could stop it. His blanket was drawn up to his chin despite the heat and he refused to move. Yoongi wasn't sure how long he stayed like this, blinking and trying to fall asleep.

It wasn't until he heard a door slamming shut followed by small, incoherent noises that he shifted. He sat up, heart racing in his chest. It's probably just Jin. Yet paranoia crept into his veins, seizing his heart.

Slowly, he tiptoed across to the door and opened it as quietly as possible. The soft sound of voices met his ears, still jumbled. Maybe it's just Tae and Jungkook? Yet one glance at their closed door told him it wasn't them.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, Yoongi crept towards the kitchen. His hand was placed firmly on the wall and was acting like a grounding point. The closer he got, the clearer the voices became. By now, he could pick up on two distinct voice mumbling to eachother.

Jin was the only person visible to him when he reached the end of the hallway. Yoongi kept himself hidden.

'... Can't do that. My roommates are asleep.' Jin said. Who the fuck? What the fuck?

'Does he even know I'm here?' The second voice spoke up. No fucking way. Anger rose in Yoongi and he stepped out of the shadows. Jin spotted him in his peripheral vision, a sheepish expression across his face.

And Hoseok was like a deer caught in headlights. Eyes wide and mouth open.

'What the fuck is going on? Why is he here?' Yoongi tried to keep his voice down and his emotion under control but he couldn't help it. Betrayal and anger were the only two emotions he could register.

The one person he didn't want to fucking see was standing in his kitchen.

Jin shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the thick tension now filling the room. 'I'd explain but I think it's pretty clear.'

'Why shouldn't I kill you both?' Jin, what the fuck are you doing? Why is he here? Why did you lie to me? Hoseok, finally getting over his shock rubbed his neck and tried to smile only for it to turn out like a grimace.

'I know I have some explaining to do.' He mumbled and Yoongi scoffed.

'No shit, Hoseok,' Yoongi folded his arms. 'I really... Sleep on the fucking couch we'll talk in the morning.' With that, Yoongi headed back to his room.

***

Yoongi didn't even acknowledge Hoseok the next morning. He'd nodded to Jin but that was it. He was still angry and hurt. He couldn't even look at Hoseok without irritation boiling under his skin.

Jin was leaning against the stove, sipping him morning coffee. His eyes followed Yoongi as he made his coffee and sat at the table. The moment Yoongi took a seat, he kept his head down and tried not to give in to the silence and tension. He wasn't going to make the first move. That was Hoseok's job. Now that he's here, talk to him. He pretended not to feel Hoseok's gaze on him, choosing to pick at the table instead.

No one said anything and even though Yoongi didn't want to hear what Hoseok had to say, he almost wished he would explain. Despite the anger bubbling under the surface, a small part of him was glad he was seeing Hoseok again. He'd missed him.

Jin had opened his mouth, ready to say something when Taehyung came stumbling into the kitchen. His hands were rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and as a consequence, casually bumped into Hoseok. His hand was hanging off the older male's shoulder to steady himself.

'Shit sorry Yoongi.' He yawned, pulling his hands away. The way his eyes widened when he realised that it wasn't Yoongi was almost comical.

For a few, long seconds, Taehyung just blinked at Hoseok, cogs turning in his head.

'Oh shit! It's actually Hoseokie!' He shouted. He was more alert now and happily pulled Hoseok into a tight hug. Hoseok hugged him back, relaxing against Taehyung.

Yoongi forced himself to keep the smile off his face. Unfortunately, his lips twitched and he looked away.

'Why are you here? Where's Jiminie?' Taehyung asked, sitting across from Hoseok. Yoongi tried to pretend he wasn't listening.

'Well... He didn't want to come this time. I came to talk to Yoongi.' Hoseok's eyes were trained on Yoongi who kept his eyes trained on the tablecloth. An ant had begun crawling over his thumb.

'Ooh! About what?' Taehyung asked.

'Nothing that you need to worry about.' Hoseok mumbled and Tae whined. Jungkook joined them at this point, eyes narrowed in Hoseok's direction. He stood protectively behind Yoongi, hand holding the older male's shoulder.

'What's up, Hoseok?' He asked, voice completely devoid of any emotion. Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise but he pretended not to be effected. Instead, he just grinned.

'Jin organised me to come and visit. Mostly to talk to Yoongi about things.' So this was Jin's idea. Jin seemed to be more interested in his coffee cup than this conversation.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. 'Talk to him about what?'

'It's nothing important.' A scoff left Jungkook's lips and Taehyung tensed, hands gripping his own knees.

'If it's 'nothing important', Hoseok, why couldn't you talk to my roommate here over the phone? Why is it so important for you to fly your ass up here just to explain?' As much as Yoongi didn't want anyone else to get involved with this drama, he found it funny that Jungkook was challenging Hoseok. The older male was visibly scared by the younger one. His Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow and his eyes were wide. Jungkook wasn't that intimidating. Just because he had a thin layer of muscle, didn't mean he was scary, right?

Hoseok hesitated, debating whether he should explain in front of everyone. Finally, after a few long seconds, he continued but his tone was cold. 'Do you really want me to explain this shit in front of everyone, Yoongi?'

Yoongi didn't answer, just stood up from the table and bolted to his room. The door slammed shut behind him and his shaky fingers worked to lock the door. Even through the barricade, he could hear the soft flow of their voices, the soft patter of feet as they walk down the hallway, stopping outside his door. A quiet knock sounded out and when Yoongi didn't do anything, the footsteps retreated back to the kitchen.

Shaking his head, Yoongi opens his closet door and changes into a simple shirt and jeans. Fuck this.

Taking a deep breath, he yanked the door open and headed back into the warzone. Jin glanced at him, his mouth in an 'o' shape but he didn't say anything.

Jungkook was still scowling at Hoseok, arms folded. A tiny part of Yoongi wanted to tell Jungkook to quit scaring Hoseok – it wasn't his fight – but a small part of him enjoyed this. So instead, he just hid his smile behind his hand before escaping to the front door.

Unfortunately, Tae and Hoseok followed him. Yoongi was pulling shoes on as fast as possible, wanting to be out of here.

'Where are you going?' Taehyung asked.

'Out. Don't follow me. Either of you. I'll kick your asses to the sun.' Yoongi snapped and Hoseok's mouth twitched, trying to form a grin.

Both shoes firmly on his feet, Yoongi left.

***

He'd gone to the one place that cleared his head: the little hill overlooking the city. Probably wasn't the most ideal place considering that everyone could come and find him but he trusted them enough to give him space.

The moment he'd set foot on the grassy slope, his nerves quietened down to the point where he could almost forget. The cool breeze chilled his skin despite the December heat. Stray leaves in his path crunched under his shoes.

He sat down on the bench, staring down at the city below.

Maybe I overreacted. He pulled his legs to his chest, the bottoms of his feet scraping along the warm metal of the seat. Resting his head on the top of his knees, he stared out at the view below. He couldn't see much just the blinking lights and greying horizon in the distance.

His phone was buzzing in his pocket and a part of him really wanted to tell them all to fuck right off (but of course, that wouldn't be very nice). So instead, he just sighed. Taehyung, Jin and Namjoon were all after him, their messages hidden unfortunately. No Hoseok. Maybe's he gotten the memo? Pushing the thought of Hoseok from his head, clicked the silent option. His finger was about to hit yes when he saw Mina's name.

Mina: Are you okay? Do you need Some Support?

Yoongi: Aren't you at work??

Mina: Sure. But JJong will understand if my friend (and former employee) needs help

Yoongi: Please don't slack off for me. Not worth it

Mina: Are you okay?

Yoongi: Hold up

Yoongi dialled Mina's number and pulled at his lip. He winced as a piece of skin came lose, followed by the metallic taste of blood. Great.

Mina filled his eardrums not even a moment later, sounding out of breath. 'Hey. I'm at the back. What's up?'

'Hoseok's here. In town.' Yoongi mumbled. Mina gasped.

'Fuck. Why?' And so Yoongi explained the situation. Once he was finished, Mina was quiet for a few seconds.

'What the fuck?' Her words were hissed under her breath and Yoongi couldn't help but laugh. 'I wanna kill both of them.'

'I'm sure Jin had good intentions. He won't tell me anything. He basically refuses to talk to me, just points at Hoseok and that's it. The thing is, Mina, I don't know what to do anymore.'

Mina coughed and took a deep breath. 'Explain your thought process to me. Pretend I'm a therapist, Yoongi.'

Yoongi hesitated, gathering his thoughts. 'I'm angry at both of them. I fucking can't believe any of this anymore. I'm overreacting and I probably should just talk to Hoseokie,' oh. It slipped. 'But, I don't want to. He left me on read and ignored for nearly three weeks. I don't think he realises just how much that hurt me,'

'Shit. I mean, you should resolve this shit, block out Hoseok from your life and move on but I guess you kinda can't.' A cold wind draft blew past him and he shivered, ears popping.

'No. I can't. I'm still pretty fucking in love with him, despite everything,' his fingers picked at his shoelaces, shoving them in the holes. 'I don't want to be angry anymore. I'm so tired. It's not healthy being this angry at him.'

'Life's too short, Yoongi.' Mina offered, trying to be serious. Yoongi cracked a smile while Mina snorted.

'It's true though. What's the point of holding in all this fucking anger?' He mumbled. Mina hummed in response.

'What're you gonna do now?'

'Talk. I'm probably going to go find Hoseokie and talk about this shit. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him a lot.' Yoongi found himself going soft, mind treading back to the good conversations and moments of Hoseok.

'I'll let you go then. Keep me updated, kiddo. Love you.' Mina made a kissing noise into the phone.

'Love you too. Get back to work. Slacker.' The younger girl let out a giggle before hanging up. Yoongi set his phone down before sighing. His shoes slipped out from under him as he leaned back, feet hitting the ground with a light thud.

The wind had picked up now, blowing harder and colder against his skin. Goosebumps were a permanent fixture on his arms and the hairs on his neck hadn't rested since he stepped foot on the hill. Regret washed over him. I wish I'd brought a fucking jacket.

'It's summer why is it so fucking cold?' He mused to himself, hugging his waist.

'Possibly because you're so far above the ground?' A voice spoke to his left, hesitant and so fucking familiar that Yoongi's heart leapt to his throat.

'What do you want?' He refused to turn to Hoseok, kept his eyes trained on the horizon. I wanted to talk, sure but not now! Abort mission! Abort Mission! A red flag was waving in his mind and the image of his brain jumping off a ship popped up. In another situation, it would've been funny. His grip tightened on his hips, blunt nails digging into the soft skin.

Hoseok took a seat beside him, long legs stretched out in front with his heels digging into the dirt. Yoongi tried to force his gaze anywhere but Hoseok's legs. Unfortunately, he failed and not-so-subtle let his eyes travel from Hoseok's ankles all the way up to about his waist and hips. Afraid he'd get caught, Yoongi ripped his eyes away and prayed for the blush not to erupt on his skin.

'I want to talk. Kinda like what you said five minutes ago,' Hoseok explained. At the younger male's words, Yoongi's blood turned to ice. If he heard the last part of my conversation, what else did he hear? The thought of Hoseok knowing Yoongi was in love with him-

Yoongi wanted to claw his fucking eyes out.

'I'm not ready yet, Hoseokie.' He mumbled. Hoseok's lips twitched at the slip-up.

'I know. How long are you going to stay mad at me for?' He asked, eyes trained on Yoongi's profile. The older male leaned forward, arms resting on his knees.

'I don't know. You fucking hurt me, Hoseok,'

'Then let me explain, please.' Hoseok was practically begging, his voice whiny and strained.

'Why?'

'I don't like having you mad at me. It's the one thing I can't stand.' Yoongi finally turned his attention to Hoseok but only to be distracted by a slip of crumpled paper in Hoseok's slim fingers. He kept turning it and folding it and Yoongi had a feeling it was a coping mechanism.

'What's that?' He asked, nodding to the paper. Hoseok tore his eyes away from Yoongi and down to the paper in his hand.

'If you let me explain, I'll give this to you.' He said. Yoongi rolled his eyes. He wanted to say no. He wouldn't be bribed because of his curiosity but another part of him was just praying to say yes, finally get the closure he'd been needing.

After some debating, Yoongi gave in. 'You have ten minutes.' The smile that appeared on Hoseok's pretty face played with Yoongi's heart.

'Well,' Now that he was finally getting the chance to explain, he couldn't get the words out. 'Ask me a question. I'm struggling here.'

'Okay. I want to know why you ignored me for so long, Hoseokie. It's so simple to answer.'

'I need to explain the situation before that. Just give me a few moments to fucking get my head sorted.' Hoseok tightened his grip on the paper, knuckles turning white. His eyebrows were pulled together and his heart-shaped lips were pulled into a frown.

'Alright.' Yoongi kicked at the pebbles on the dirt while he waited. It felt like hours and the anticipation was killing him.

A few minutes later, Hoseok sighed and finally spoke. 'Fuck it. Just take the fucking note and read it. I can't explain shit.' Trembling hands held out the paper and Yoongi took it, ignoring the way his heart jumped.

Yoongi,

It's currently 2am, Tuesday. The night I'm supposed to leave for my home. Truth is, I don't want to leave yet. These last few days have truly been the most beautiful moments in my life.

Seeing you in the flesh and being around you is such an experience and I'm so glad I got to meet you. Both through text and real life.

I have so much to tell you and I can't say it. I keep rubbing and scribbling things out because I'm struggling to write what I want to say.

You're the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I'm not even joking, Yoongi. I could spend hours just staring at you because you're so fucking beautiful and God-Like I-. You have the most amazing gummy smile. I swear my heart fucking dies every time you grinned at me today (and yesterday).

I didn't expect you to be so short, either. You're the size of a peanut.

I liked holding your hand today. Your hands are so small but fit so well in mine. They're quite soft as well. What type of cream do you use?

But I really didn't want to stop holding your hand. Every time you intertwined our fingers, my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. Every nerve in me was overloaded and hypersensitive. It was like I couldn't feel or focus on anything but you and your soft fingers in mine. I was so nervous I'm surprised you didn't feel the sweat dripping from my fingers.

Which brings me to my next point: I really do like you. It probably doesn't make any sense to you because I'm with Jimin right now but, I fucking like you so much it scares me.

It hit me like a ton of rocks today during the haunted house exhibition. Even though you were laughing at my misfortune, you were making sure I was okay and holding my hand (!!) and it just.

I realised the moment we stepped out of the house. You didn't see it but you had the biggest, gummiest grin on your face. Your hair was pushed back off your face and despite the sweat layered on your skin, you looked so utterly breathtaking. Every fibre of me wanted to kiss you right then and there.

I'm not sure how long I've harboured these weird feelings for you but seeing you laugh and getting to touch you today and yesterday forced them to the surface.

We leave tomorrow (well today) and I'm sad. I've completely forgotten about my own problems and truth is, it was so nice being with you, completely stress free.

I'm not in love with Jimin anymore, Yoongi. I don't think I ever was in love with him. I liked him but he has never made me feel the way you do.

Because when I was with you the last few days, I felt so damn happy, I thought my heart would die. Like all I wanted to do was laugh and smile and be around you. My heart just flutters every time you look at me. My brain short circuits when you smile or laugh and my thought process when it reboots is "this is the prettiest boy in the world! I want to protect him! I want to love him and keep him happy and safe!" The feeling is so indescribable but I hope you get the gist of it.

Jimin never gave those feelings to me and this trip made me realise it.

Originally, this trip wasn't supposed to happen. Not for another few months when I could come on my own, anyway. Yet, Jimin came to me one night after I'd been Skyping you and suggested we take a visit to you.

At first, I was so confused. Jimin wanted to see you. He suggested this.

I asked him why and his exact words were: 'I don't think its right to keep continuing on like this, Seok. We should pay a visit to Yoongi and figure all this out. I don't want to keep deluding myself and you can't see what you feel or how much this is affecting me.'

I was so confused, Yoongi. I didn't understand what he was getting at until today (or this whole trip, really).

I realised I was in love with you and that I wasn't in love with Jimin. Yet, he loved me. He knew about my crush on you, Yoongi. He knew way before it dawned on me today. It hurt him too.

I don't know how Jimin picked up on it before I did but somehow, he knew.

It's some type of fucked up, cliché love triangle, I guess.

Jimin says you love me as well. Do you? I can't tell. I don't want to get my hopes up or anything.

I don't want to hurt him anymore. And I don't know why I'm telling you this but I guess I should, right? Seeing as though I've had an Epiphany.

So, when we leave today, I'm going to sort everything out. I'm going to talk to Jimin and untangle this mess and break up with him. It'll hurt him but it'll be better than deluding myself and hurting him.

I don't know what'll go down or what'll happen. I can't predict the future. And I can't predict what I'll do and say to you when I leave.

I think, just while I sort everything out with Jiminie, I don't keep contact with you for a few days. Please don't get offended or sad over this, Yoongi. I promise you I'll talk to you when everything's over.

I'm probably not making much sense and it's probably due to the fact that it's almost 3am but,

I really do love you and I really do hope that what Jimin said is correct and that you really do like me the way I love you. That's all I want.

Hoseokie xx

Yoongi stared at the letter in shock, eyes wide, and hands trembling. His eyes were trained to the paper and he pinched his thigh to test if he was actually dreaming. When pain shot up his body, he blinked quickly and glanced at Hoseok.

The younger male had a nervous expression and his hands wouldn't stop twisting his shirt. His bottom lip was pulled between his teeth.

'Please say something.' He whispered. Yoongi was at a complete loss for words. He wracked his brain, trying to form a thought. Mouth opening and closing, the only sounds that escaped were little 'ah' noises as he tried to create a sentence.

'I know it's nothing and doesn't make up for anything but,' Hoseok trailed off when Yoongi shook his head energetically.

'Shut the fuck up for a moment. Let me fucking take this in.' He snapped and immediately, Hoseok closed his gob.

Holy fucking god. Yoongi's head was spinning around like a hamster on a wheel. He couldn't wrap his brain around anything he'd just read. Hoseok likes me? No, he's in love with me. Jimin knew? All of this was because Jimin knew about Hoseok's feelings? His heart was pounding in his chest and his lungs weren't getting enough air. Breathe, Yoongi. Just breathe.

'Explain this shit. What happened with Jimin?' Yoongi demanded.

'Well, when we got home, we sat down and talked about this. He was almost in tears and I didn't want to hurt him. I told him that he was basically correct and that I no longer did love him, that I was in love with you. After that, we basically decided to call off our relationship. It wasn't as messy as I thought it would've been but it was still so upsetting,' Hoseok took a deep breath and Yoongi waited patiently for him to continue. 'He said that while he was sad I no longer loved him, he couldn't blame me for falling out of love. He does like you, contrary to how he acted. As sad as he was, Yoongi, he was happy that I was in love with you and that you made me happier than he could.' By the end of the explanation, Hoseok had a soft smile written across his face. Yoongi frowned and folded the note.

'Did you ever give this to me?' He asked. Hoseok nodded.

'I slipped it into your back pocket at the airport.' Yoongi glanced at the horizon, surprised to see the sun setting. The faint, orange and pink light painted the view below them in shadows.

'Did Jin know?' Yoongi turned back to Hoseok to find him bathed in the same pretty lights as the city. The golden crisp of light sharpened the edges of his jawline and highlighted the honey colour of his skin. Yoongi's heart skipped a beat and his breath hitched. Holy fuck he's so beautiful.

'I knew you hadn't found my note when you kept messaging me then ghosted me when I started to reply. So I had to ask Jin to check for me, just to be 100% sure. When he told you hadn't read it, he searched your clothes,' Hoseok shook his head. 'He said that he's glad you don't wash your jeans that often otherwise this letter would've been ruined.'

'Just let me wrap my head around this. What you're saying is, Jimin knew that you liked me,' loved me. 'And suggested that trip so you could figure it out and see for yourself. Then Jimin turns out to not care that his boyfriend is in love with someone else and calls it off,' Hoseok nods so Yoongi powers on. 'But that still doesn't explain why you ignored me for three weeks.'

'Well, I ignored you the first week because of Jimin. The second week was because I was really fucking busy with dancing and all that jazz. Plus my sister was up to see me as well and I had to spend time with her so by the time I was able to talk to you three weeks had passed. I'm sorry.' Hoseok's voice had softened with each passing word. His teeth worried at his lip and Yoongi saw dots of blood scattering along Hoseok's lips.

A part of him so still so angry and hurt for the way Hoseok had acted and treated him. Yet, he wanted to believe Hoseok's tale and just forgive him. I'm tired of being angry.

Yoongi didn't say anything else, just fiddled with his hands and kept his eyes trained to his lap. He refused to even glance at Hoseok. He could feel the tension radiating off the younger male, he didn't want to see it.

'Please say something?' Hoseok whined, voice cracking.

'What do you want me to say, Hoseokie? I don't know how to fucking feel right now. You fucking abandon me for three weeks with no explanation whatsoever! Then suddenly, you're back in my life out of nowhere and what? What the fuck am I supposed to do and say? You can't keep fucking with my head, Seokseok.' Yoongi ranted, jumping to his feet. His hands trembled and pulled at his hair. He kept his sharp gaze on the male still sitting down. If it wasn't for the way Hoseok's eyebrows were drawn and lips down into a frown, you'd think the younger male was quite relaxed.

'I've explained everything-' Yoongi cut him off.

'It doesn't work like that. Not when it comes to this shit, Hoseokie. You don't know half of this. Wait, if you had spoken to Jin, surely he would've told you?' Hoseok shook his head.

'He wouldn't tell me. I asked how you'd been and he flat-out refused to tell me anything and said I had to ask you or something. Why?'

'Oh right. Of course he would've. Sometimes, this guy's a pain in the ass,' Yoongi mumbled. 'I don't feel like explaining right now. But, I pretty much scared everyone and was quite... self-destructive in a sense.' He didn't really feel like elaborating right now. Yet, Hoseok insisted.

'Please? I want to know what happened...'

'I worked myself to my limits, didn't take care of myself properly and then passed out in front of Jin. He had to carry me to bed and I slept for a few days. That's it.' Yoongi gave him the basic overview, shrugging it off like it was nothing.

'Fuck. I'm so sorry, Yoongi.' Hoseok whispered and the older male just rolled his eyes.

'Yeah, I got that. It doesn't make up for it though. You hurt me and I can't exactly just forget it and pretend everything's alright. God, I'm making it sound bigger than it actually is,' Yoongi sighed and his cheeks felt warm. Hoseok was just staring at him and Yoongi shifted on his feet. 'But you let me believe I'd done something to upset you.'

'I know and I'm so sorry.'

'No, you don't. Now, let me finish,' Yoongi snapped, immediately regretting it when the younger male shrunk back. 'When you left, you told me you'd text me when you got home. When I got nothing from you, I tried to reason with myself. And it worked until Tae told me that he'd been messaging Jimin,'

'Oh. I didn't know those two kept in touch.'

'They've got some weird shit in common. Of course they did. Let me finish, please,' Yoongi was all but begging and he was trying so hard to keep his emotions in check. I'm not going to fucking breakdown in front of him. Yet the way his throat felt tight and his shaky hands said otherwise.

'Okay. I'll shut up,' Hoseok zipped his lips and leaned back, arms folded over his chest.

'Alright. I didn't know what to feel, Hoseok. At first, I tried to tell myself that maybe you were jetlagged or forgot to tell me. So I messaged you to see and this is where it went to shit. When you didn't reply to that, or the next three weeks' worth of messages, I started to convince myself it was my fault and that you hated me.'

'But it never was. I could never hate you, Yoongi. If emotionally and mentally possible to hate you. I love you too much to hate you.'

'I told you to shut the fuck up,' yet Yoongi's heart pounded in his chest, a small smile threatening to break. 'I know but see it from my perspective: After seeing me for the first time, after five or so years, you ignored me after leaving for home.'

'It's actually almost seven years. In about a week, it'll be seven years. We met on the twenty first of December, when you were seventeen.' Despite the interruption, Yoongi felt his cheeks flame up.

'How did you remember that?' Hoseok shrugs.

'I remember nearly everything you tell me. Continue with the story though.' Hoseok smirked and waved his hand. Scowling Yoongi continued.

'So, my immediate, unreasonable thought process was that I'd done something to upset you and that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Which led to me doing shit to take my mind off you. I worked extra hours, didn't eat or take care of myself properly. Eventually, my body got fed up with my shit and I passed out in front of Jin. He nursed me back to health.' Yoongi explained. Hoseok frowned.

'No matter what happens with us, Yoongi, you should never do that. Don't ever hurt yourself like that again.' He said and shook his head. Yoongi crossed his arms.

'No fucking shit. But once again, you left me abandoned to my own insecurity. You could've just texted me an explanation and none of this would've happened.' The older male came and sat back down, completely emotionally and mentally exhausted.

'I should've. I regret not doing it. We're both idiots, aren't we?' Hoseok said before huffing.

'I'm so sorry I've been a complete dicktwitch the last couple of weeks. I shouldn't have ignored you when you were trying to explain.' Hoseok just laughed, catching Yoongi off guard.

'Don't be. I would've done the exact same thing. I'm an idiot and I shouldn't have assumed anything.' The conversation came to a close and both of them just stared at the city.

The sun had set completely by now, the whole sitting dubbed in black hues. Little lights shone through the blanket, twinkling in the dark. It was so pretty and had such a calming effect on Yoongi. Slowly but surely, his nerves and depressive thoughts slipped away until he completely forget about everything.

Of course Hoseok had to ruin that when he opened his mouth with, 'it's so pretty up here. And so calming.' In Yoongi peripheral vision, he could see Hoseok hesitantly turn to stare at him, a soft smile on his face.

'Can we head back? I don't want to be up here anymore.' Not now that everything's unsettled still. It's no longer peaceful. If the younger male was hurt by Yoongi's words, he hid it very well and stood up. Without a word, the two of them made the trek down the hill.

***

When they reached the apartment, Hoseok wordlessly went to the couch and pulled the divider across. Yoongi tugged on his lip before going to his room. As quietly as he could, he enclosed his hand around the doorknob. For some odd reason, he expected Jin to be in bed.

Instead, light filtered through under the door and Yoongi's heart started pounding. With a deep breath, he pushed the door open and to his (not) surprise, saw Jin sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand.

'Hey. How'd it go?' He asked, not looking up. Yoongi locked the door behind him before leaning against it.

'I'm emotionally drained right now. Does that explain anything?' Jin raised an eyebrow but didn't look up.

'Okay fair enough. What happened?' And with that, he lowered his phone and faced Yoongi.

'It was...' The younger male couldn't think of a word. Draining? Confronting? Emotional? 'Odd. I don't know, Jin. I'm so fucking confused and nothing makes sense yet it all makes sense and I'm so fucking angry and tired and pissed and-' He could feel himself rambling and getting worked up so it was no surprise when he felt Jin's hands on his shoulders.

'Calm down. Take a deep breath. Look at me. There we go,' Jin soothed, squeezing Yoongi's shoulders.

'Okay. I'm calm.' Fucking liar. Jin didn't seem to believe it but let it go.

'Tell me what happened. Or what you want to tell me.'

'Can I call Mina as well? I might need advice.' Jin pretended to be offended by scoffing and placing a hand over his heart. He was attempting humour but when Yoongi didn't laugh, dialled Mina.

'You're on speaker.' Jin told her when she picked up.

'What's wrong? Is Yoongi okay? I told you not to call me unless it was about him. Hurry the fuck up and explain.' Mina complained. Jin mocked her and rolled his eyes.

'He's right here, shithead. Now shut the fuck up so we can explain shit.' Mina gasped.

'Hey Yoongi. You okay?' Concern laced her words. Yoongi shrugged, forgetting that she couldn't see him.

'I'm tired. I need advice from both you and Jin, considering both of you are my closest friends,' Yoongi paused and Jin motioned for him to continue. 'I spoke to Hoseok right after your call.'

'How'd it go?'

Yoongi tried to calm himself down to get the words out without crying. 'I don't know. It was confronting and I'm angry and so fucking confused right now.'

'What happened?' the other two asked at the exact same time and Yoongi giggled as Jin groaned.

'Well, he told me the full story which I won't tell you,' Jin pouted, 'but he also told me he loved me. Romantically, I mean.' Mina hissed in a breath and Jin scowled.

'Fucker.' She mumbled while Jin whispered a baffled, 'what the fuck?'

'I don't know what to do. I want to believe him. I want to finally fucking tell him I'm so in love with him just so I can be happy but at the same time, I'm so hurt.' Yoongi could feel hysteria rising again and Jin rubbed his arm, soothing him again.

'Well, what feels right to you?' Mina asked.

'Both do. Yet, I'm so tired of being angry and I've waited six years for him to finally tell me he loves me the way I do. It's so confusing.' The wheels turned in Jin's head as he mulled over the younger male's words. No one said anything, not for a few minutes anyway.

Finally, Jin sighed. 'How about you sleep on it tonight and talk to him again tomorrow, okay? Because I know that this conversation is far from over.' Mina hummed in agreement and Yoongi nodded.

'I suppose you're right. Thank you for picking up, Mina.'

'I'm glad it was important. I was literally about to get eaten-' Jin let out a shout and Yoongi giggled.

'Too much information, Mina. Goodnight.' Jin hung up, eyes wide.

'She's amazing.'

'That girl has no fucking shame to put it lightly,' he mumbled. 'Go to sleep, yeah? We'll talk in the morning. I'll kick everyone out and you and Hoseok can have a proper conversation over tea and coffee.'

***

True to his word, Yoongi woke up to find the house bare apart from him and Hoseok. When he padded to the kitchen, he saw the divider still drawn across the loungeroom and he sighed, already feeling the anxiety kicking in. Just breathe, Yoongi. You can do this. Nothing to stress about.

A smile erupted on his face when he saw the green teabag on the counter. A small note with Jin's messy writing was placed neatly beside it.

Hey Yoongi (and Hoseok. Whoever sees this first)

I've taken the Kids (+ Taemin) out for a few hours. I told them you two need to short this shit over a relaxing cuppa. So please sort this ASAP bc these three are a handful.

Love you. Good luck

Jinnie xx

P.S No sex. I don't care. Don't fuck anywhere in this house !

'He's a good guy.' Yoongi jumped out of his skin as Hoseok's breath brushed against his ear. He turned around, keeping a small distance between the two.

'Fuck. You scared me. Morning.' Yoongi was vaguely aware he was only in shorts while Hoseok was fully dressed.

'Morning, Yoongi. Sleep well? I slept like a rock last night!' Hoseok asked, smiling brightly. The façade was up, although not very good. Yoongi could see the faint circles under Hoseok's eyes, the way his smile drooped a little and how shit he just looked.

'Cut the shit. Sit down, I'll make tea and we talk. Deal?' Hoseok's smile dropped completely.

'Sounds good.' He took a seat while Yoongi began boiling the water.

Everything was awkward during the time it took Yoongi to make tea. The tension was threatening to suffocate him. He could feel Hoseok's eyes burning into his back and for some odd reason, he found it difficult to walk properly. He placed the cup down as steady as he could before taking a seat.

Another five minutes ensured of completely awkward silence while they sipped their tea, watching and waiting for someone to make the first move.

Yoongi, being the weakling he is, cracked first. 'Everything you said was true?'

'Yes. 100% whole heartedly.' Hoseok's words were unsteady and his hands clenched his cup.

'I'm glad you didn't lie to me.'

'Can you tell me what's going on inside your brain, Yoongi? I have no idea where I stand with you anymore or what you're feeling. It's like talking to a stone. I can't get anything from you.' Hoseok words were stuttered and Yoongi opened his mouth. I'm doing a better job at hiding everything than I thought.

'I don't know where to start right now.' He admitted.

'Just tell me something. Please. I can't keep this up.' The younger male was begging and Yoongi felt a lump in his throat.

'I want to hate you, so badly but there's such a strong part of me still-' Yoongi cut himself, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. He downed another huge gulp, ignoring the way his tongue burned.

'Still what?' Hoseok asked, his cup lay abandoned. He leaned forward, full body weight resting on his arms. It's too fucking early for this shit.

'It's nothing.' An eyebrow raise from Hoseok was almost enough to make Hoseok crack. To stop himself from saying anything again, more tea was swallowed.

'It's clearly something if it's got you blushing and sipping hot ass tea, Yoongi.' The younger male pointed out, eyes trained to Yoongi's cup.

'It's fucking nothing. None of your business.' He snapped, starting to get defensive. Hoseok raised his arms and stepped back off Yoongi's back.

'Please talk to me, Yoongi. I want to know what's going on in your head.'

'Fuck this is so hard.' Yoongi mumbled and Hoseok chuckled.

'I'll wait. We have all the time in the world. I don't mind. I just want to fix our friendship.' Hoseok winced and the placemat in front of him was the most interesting thing now. Yoongi brightened up as an idea popped into his head.

'Close your eyes, okay? And don't open them until I say. Also, try not to react either.' Doing as he was told, Hoseok covered his eyes, more confused than ever. Yoongi waved his own hand around Hoseok's eyes and when the other male didn't flinch or react, he began speaking.

'Jimin's words were correct. I really do like you,' Hoseok's mouth twitched before returning to a straight line.

'Is that all?'

'No. Shut the fuck up,' Hoseok's heart-shaped smile appeared and Yoongi found himself smiling as well. 'I... I really like you, Hoseokie. Fuck, I've liked you for the longest time and I didn't tell you. I was so scared to let it slip that I might've been in love with you. Unfortunately, I can't do this thing with you yet. Not with everything that's happened.'

'I understand. Can I remove my hands?' Yoongi hummed and Hoseok hesitantly removed the blockage from his eyes. Yoongi knew his face was the colour of apples (he could feel it) but he didn't care. Not with the way Hoseok was just straight up grinning, looking like someone who'd just won the lottery.

'Can I say something?' I never knew Hoseok asking for permission would be so cute but here we are. Yoongi just nodded, not really trusting his voice to say anything. 'Okay first off, you're so fucking cute what the fuck, Yoongi. I feel like a sixteen year old so there's that too. This is the shit you do to me,' Yoongi covered his face with hands, feeling it flame up even more.

'Please shut the fuck up.' He peaked through his fingers just in time to see Hoseok wink and then his expression turned serious.

'I get it. I get why you don't want,' he motioned between them, 'us yet. I'm completely cool with that. If anything, I think I'd prefer it. I don't want to do this, not with everything that's happened and still needs to be talked about. Just know that I'm gonna wait for you. I'm going to be waiting for you and when you're ready, give me the okay and I'll do some grand, romantic gesture to sweep you off your feet and turn you into my boyfriend. I really don't care how long it takes. I just want you when you're ready.' Hoseok's voice was so quiet yet determined and his expression was soft and open, all his emotions sprayed across his face.

To stop himself from word vomiting (or worse, crying), Yoongi downed the rest of his tea and blinked slowly at Hoseok. As seconds ticked by, the younger male became more and more nervous as Yoongi stayed quiet.

'Yoongi?' He asked, nibbling on his lip. Yoongi just smiled.

'You're such a fucking sap. How I even like you, is such a fucking wonder.' He groaned, still smiling.

'So, I take it that's okay?'

'Yeah. We do this at my pace and we talk and shit. I wanna speak to Jimin too. He's important,' Yoongi suddenly recalled how hostile he was to Jimin. 'I was so rude to him!'

'He knows and he's not mad. He's a little offended that you hated him right off the bat but he doesn't hate you. He likes you, actually. Gave me full permission to date you when you're ready and everything.' The softest, most heart-warming smile was brightening up Hoseok's face and Yoongi's heart was racing. It felt like it was ready to jump out of his chest.

'I hope so,' Yoongi's phone buzzed. It'll be Jin. He whipped it out of his pocket. True to his instincts, he saw Jin's name written across his screen.

Jinnie: All good? Kook's ready to come home.

Yoongi: everything's sorted Jin. Thank you.

'I forgot to mention, I got you a present but you don't have to have yet if you're not ready.' Hoseok said and Yoongi shook his head.

'What is it?'

'It's more sentimental than a stupid mug or whatever we get each other every year.' Hoseok stood and disappeared into the lounge Room. Yoongi couldn't see what he was doing but a few moments later, returned with a small box in his hands. As he sat down, he slid it over to Yoongi. The older male just stared, feeling guilty.

'I didn't get you anything...' He mumbled, thumbing at the red ribbon wrapped around the grey box.

'It's okay. You forgiving me is probably enough.' Yoongi's head snapped up and he scrunched his nose up.

'That was so fucking cheesy I want to die.' He whined and Hoseok just motioned to the box.

'Open it, fucker.' Yoongi began pulling at the string, watching it untangle the small bow on top. Thankfully, it was just a box with a lid so he had no problem just lifting the lid up, gasping as the present came into view.

'It's so pretty... Hoseokie...' Yoongi breathed, lifting the photo frame. Three photos of them together sat neatly in the frame, the date of their first text and first meeting imprinted in the corner. Two hearts were sitting under the numbers. He gently ran his thumb of Hoseok's face.

'Is it? I was planning to get you something more than a stupid mug or something so this...' Hoseok trailed off, grinning.

'Is amazing. Seriously, thank you.' Yoongi got out of his seat and without thinking, hugged Hoseok. No hesitation on Hoseok's part, his arms were around Yoongi's middle tightly.

'I love you, Yoongi. And I really am sorry.' He mumbled into Yoongi's shoulder and Yoongi just smacked him lightly.

'Shut the fuck up, dipshit,' Hoseok scoffed. 'I love you too.' The sound of keys in the door, broke them apart but Yoongi grabbed Hoseok's hand, much to the younger male's surprise.

Taehyung was the first one through the door, followed by Jungkook and the two of them seemed to be having a yelling match (again).

'Can you two ever shut the fuck up?' Yoongi demanded and the two froze in their tracks. They both slowly turned to Yoongi.

'Can you?' Jungkook asked, eyes narrowed. The older male tried to keep the smug look off his face.

'What the fuck is going on? Why are you grinning at me like that?' Taehyung asked, studying the scene in front of him. Yet, he couldn't figure out what was different.

'Oh for fucksakes you morons, Yoongi's sorted his shit with Hoseok and I fucking hope they didn't fuck.' Jin exclaimed, completely fed up with the stupidity of his roommates. At Jin's words, Tae's eyes widened to the size of the moon and a stupid boxy grin formed.

'Holy shit! Fucking finally. I thought I'd die in the tension pouring from both of you. Thank fuck.' Taehyung exclaimed and started clapping and cheering.

'Wait, does this mean you're together? Because Yoongi that's not a smart move, not after everything that's happen.' Jungkook was staring Hoseok down, arms folded over his chest. Hoseok gulped.

'No. It means everything's sorted. He's no longer being a dicktwitch and I'm not as angry. It's a long story, one that I don't want to get into, but hopefully in the near future...' Yoongi trailed off and tears formed in Hoseok's eyes. The radiant smile was still lighting up his face. 'Hopefully I'll be able to call him my boyfriend?'

'That's fucking disgusting but I'm glad everything's sorted.' Jin told them and Taehyung stopped his dance.

'Does Jimin know? Is he okay with this?' He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

'Yes, he is. He was the one who suggested it, actually. So he's completely okay with it.' Hoseok answered and Taehyung grinned again.

'That's good. I would've killed you both if you'd hurt Chimchim.' Taehyung warned and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

'You're a fucking idiot.' He mumbled before grabbing Tae's collar and kissing him. Jin gagged and shook his head. He turned his attention to the phone in his hand, fingers moving rapidly across the screen. Once he was finished, Jin made his way over and frowned. Uh oh.

'So, now that this shit is sorted, can I say a few things?' Jin asked.

While Hoseok was borderline shaking, Yoongi squeezed his hand and answered the question. 'No. I've already chewed him out enough He doesn't need you patronizing him as well.'

'Okay. I'm gonna say it anyway,' the younger two both tensed. 'Please don't hurt Yoongi again. If the two of you ever do end up together, just don't hurt him. If you ever think about breaking his heart again and making him suffer, I will hunt you down and cut your dick off. Hear me?' Hoseok had gone as pale as a sheet at Jin's words. His Adam's apple bobbed with each gulp and Jin cracked a smile.

'I'm only fucking with you, Hoseok. But not really. If you ever turn him into the mess he was, I will actually have words with you,' Jin clasped his hand on Hoseok's shoulder. 'If you two ever do decide to do this relationship thing, I'm 100% behind you. So is Namjoon, by the way.' With his final words, Jin went back on his phone and walked to the bedroom.

'I got scared for a moment.' Hoseok breathed a sigh of relief and Yoongi chuckled. So did I.

Taehyung and Jungkook were still making out in the kitchen but now Tae's hand had made its way to grope Jungkook's ass.

'Can you two get a room?' Yoongi mumbled and the two broke away. Jungkook's cheeks were warm but Tae had a smirk on his face.

'Okay.' He yanked on the younger male's hand, dragging him down the hallway.

'For the love of god, please keep the noise down.' Yoongi sighed. Hoseok giggled and both of them just looked at eachother.

Despite the anxiety clawing at his chest, a weirdly, unsettling type of happy filled every inch of Yoongi, warming him up. He turned to Hoseok to find the younger male staring back.

'I hope that one day, I can kiss you like they do. Not that I'm trying to pressure you or anything. Because this is 100% your pace and idea.' Hoseok corrected himself and the older male didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand.

'You're cute.' But same here, Hoseokie. Same here. Hopefully one day.

//

So like,, that's all of it lmao.

Its a wild and messy, over-complicated ride but oh well. 

So, if any of you made it to the end of this, holy shit you deserve a reward. This is a whole mess so like, thank you fdsahf.

And feel free to critic it, send me shit thats wrong or wtv you want. This was literally my first fic in MONTHS and the fact that i completed (vvv shittily) is amazing. But there's so much wrong with this so really, you can say whatever you want (as long as it isnt straight up hate !).

Also, I'm on Twitter (@/vanaetic) so, like, idk.

But thank you for reading this uwu

x Lyn