* Chapter Twenty
It had been nearly two weeks since Yoongi had last spoken to Hoseok. Not a single message came from him.
You can't say Yoongi didn't try. He truly did. He messaged Hoseok a few times a day, nothing over the top or spam. He usually said, 'Hey Seokseok.' or 'Take care of yourself.' Sometimes even 'did I do something wrong?' Not once did Hoseok reply, only read them. Although, Yoongi could swear he saw the three little dots bouncing in the corner, signalling that Hoseok was typing at one point. Yet, no message came through.
To keep his mind off the Hoseok dilemma, Yoongi worked overtime. He spent extra hours at work (whether it was by his request or Jonghyun's) to keep his mind away from Hoseok. He picked up late night shifts, well past closing time to clean up and early morning shifts to help open. Jonghyun didn't always pay him (he should've but Yoongi understood it was some sort of punishment). He worked himself to the brink of exhaustion. To the point where the moment his head hit the pillow, he'd be out like a light. He didn't care. Whatever worked to keep his mind off Hoseok. Every time he let his thoughts stray to that forbidden patch, his heart would clench in his chest. It was too painful.
Yoongi had tried his hardest to keep it hidden from his roommates as well. Thankfully Taehyung was too wrapped up in Jungkook and his own problems to notice Yoongi.
Jin knew that something was wrong. He'd been the first one to notice the sudden yet small shift in Yoongi's behaviour and actions. He'd spotted the fake smiles and constant blank look on his face. The way his shoulders drooped, the way his face would brighten for a split second every time his phone rung, only to break apart just as quick. At first, he didn't question it. He thought Yoongi would get over it within a few days.
Jin stayed quiet on the matter, just keeping a close eye on the younger male. The only reason he'd interfered was because Yoongi had almost passed out standing up. The younger male had started swaying on his feet before his eyes closed and the next thing Jin knew, he was reaching out to catch Yoongi. He'd sighed and carried the younger to his bed, ignoring his protests. The moment Yoongi was tucked into bed, he'd fallen asleep, light snores falling past his lips. Jin cursed himself for being so stupid.
Furrowed eyebrows, he took another glance at his roommate, confused. What was wrong with him? Why was he looking for extra work? Yoongi had dropped a lot of weight too. He looked sick and skinnier than before. Faint worry lines creased his forehead and every so often, his lips would turn into a frown. What's going on, Yoongi? His first thought was Yoongi's phone. He kept everything on it so surely, there'd be a hint as to what was wrong. Surely enough, the moment he'd opened Hoseok's tab, it all clicked. Hoseok's fucked him over. A part of him was angry. He couldn't believe that Hoseok, the boy that Yoongi thought the world of, the boy who was supposedly the nicest person they'd ever meet, the boy with the sunshine smile had abandoned Yoongi. Another part of him was just confused, surely there was more to this, right? He'd read through a few of the messages before the guilt completely consumed him and he shut Yoongi's phone off. With a small shake of his head, Jin placed Yoongi's phone back on the night stand and backed out of the room, already dialling Jonghyun's number.
'What do you want, Jin?' Jonghyun snapped, clearly annoyed. Jin could only throw up two guesses as to why: Yoongi hadn't shown up to work or because Jin was calling him again.
'Yoongi can't come into work for a few days.' Jin chewed on his lip, waiting for the outrageous cry that was sure to follow his words. Yet, all he got was a sigh in response.
'I had a feeling that's why you were calling. Is he okay?' Jin picked up the sudden shift in Jonghyun's attitude. Suddenly, he was concerned for Yoongi.
'Well, he almost passed out in the kitchen twenty minutes ago.' Jin didn't miss the small, almost inaudible gasp from the other side.
'Shit.'
'Exactly. He's worked himself to the brink of exhaustion so I'm gonna let him rest for a few days before I even consider sending him back to work,' Jin realised he was demanding so he changed his tone and added, 'is that okay with you?'
'As angry as I am at him for lying, my employee's health comes first. Always,' Jonghyun paused. 'Just make sure he's rested up before he returns. Please look after him and keep me updated.' With that, he hung up, leaving Jin speechless.
***
Yoongi pretty much slept for two days, only waking every so often to piss or get food. Jin always cooked him whatever he felt like in those moments. He'd go back to sleep straight after, cuddling into his blanket and pillow. Not once did he think about Hoseok.
It wasn't until the third day of his break that he woke up, feeling a lot better, but with a minor case of a headache thanks to the sound of Taehyung screaming.
'It's Christmas!' The younger male's voice drifted through the halls and closed wall into Yoongi's room, the older male cringing. Is it already December? He tried to ignore the pang in his chest at empty notifications. The selfie Hoseok and he took the second day they were here staring up at him. The blaring December first sitting at the top of his phone confirmed it was in fact Christmas season.
Yet he couldn't find it in him to get excited. Not when Hoseok hadn't sent his signature 'Merry Christmas Season!!!!!' followed by a bunch of useless emojis. He already missed them.
Yoongi unlocked his phone and opened Hoseok's tab. Trembling fingers, he began typing.
Yoongi: Merry Christmas Season, Seokseok.
No point in adding emojis. Yoongi's eyes widened and he couldn't stop the faint blush of hope spreading throughout him when the dots started bouncing. Yet, not even five seconds later, the disappeared and Yoongi felt just as empty as before. Oh.
The moment he checked the time properly, Yoongi dashed out of bed and began hopping around his room, trying to pull on his clothes. 'I'm late for work!' In a rush to pull on his jeans, he fell on his ass with a thud. Footsteps came running down the hallway and the next thing he knew, Jin was standing in the hallway, the light illuminating his face. A small grin was on Jin's face.
'Hey Yoongi. You're up.' He made his way into the room and leaned down to help the younger male up. Yoongi let out a small 'thanks' before trying to finish changing. He knew Jin was watching him pull on his work clothes but made no move to stop him until he'd started to dash out the door.
'As funny as it was watching you rush around, you don't need to go into work today. Jonghyun's given you the next few days off. At least until you're completely better,' Jin lowered his voice, his bright and cheery expression morphing into one of concern. 'Yoongi, you fainted in the kitchen a few days ago. I'm not gonna let you work yourself to death.' The worry radiating off Jin caused tears to well in the younger male and he couldn't stop the rush of them slipping down his cheeks, hot, wet trails being left in their wake.
'I'm so sorry, Jinnie.' He cried out, arms circling his waist in an attempt to calm down. Jin pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his shaking shoulders.
'It's okay.' Jin tried to sooth the crying roommate as best as he could. Calming words passed his lips.
Five minutes passed before Yoongi had calmed down to a hiccupping mess, shoulders still shaking and his face blotchy and red.
'How about you go and wash yourself up. It's been a few days since you've showered and you stink like shit. I'm gonna go make you something for dinner, okay?' Yoongi whimpered.
'Can you run a bath for me, please? I don't want to be alone right now.' He hated how whiny he sounded to his own ears. He hated how much Hoseok's leaving had affected him. He felt like a baby asking for Jin to stay. Thankfully, the older male nodded and took Yoongi's hand in his.
'Okay. Come on then,' When Yoongi didn't budge, he added, 'Tae's at work and Jungkook's downstairs. No one else is home.' And that's the confirmation Yoongi needs as he's following Jin to the bathroom. The older male was crouching over their tiny bathtub and running the hot water, pouring Tae's bubbles into the water. Surely the youngest wouldn't mind.
'Can you go and get me clothes, Jin? I didn't bring any.' And I don't feel comfortable stripping in front of you. Jin seemed to get the message and ducked out while Yoongi quickly stripped out of his dirty clothes before climbing into the tub. Thankfully the bubbles covered up to his waist so he didn't feel as exposed in front of Jin. Still, he brought his knees to his chest and waited.
Anger rose in him as a wave of embarrassment washed over him. Why was he so weak? Breaking down like that in Jin's arms. That wasn't him. He was stronger than that. Pull yourself together, Yoongi. You shouldn't be crying over some boy that abandoned you. God you're such a twelvie. At that thought, Yoongi deflated again. Why was he crying over Hoseok? He's just someone you met once. He's not that important.
Yet the more Yoongi dwells on the situation, the more the hatred rises. He spent four years talking to Hoseok, spilling all of his secrets, fears and wishes. He let Hoseok get to know him and in turn, was told all about Hoseok's life and worries. I feel like I've been betrayed.
The sound of the door opening snapped him out of his self-pity. Jin had returned, a fresh pair of clean clothes in his hands. He set them on the counter before crouching beside the tub again.
'Want me to wash your hair?' He offered and Yoongi nodded, his mood already starting to pick up. Smiling softly, Jin grabbed the showerhead and switched it on before running the water through Yoongi's hair.
'I'm sorry.' Yoongi mumbled, eyes closed as his body relaxed. The feeling on Jin's nails scraping along his skull calmed him down.
'Don't apologise for this,' Yoongi hummed in response. He still felt guilty, like all he was doing was ruining Jin's day. 'I don't understand why he's done this but at the same time, I do get why you're upset.'
'Thank you, Jin. You didn't have to do this.' Even though Yoongi couldn't see it, Jin smiled and washed the shampoo out of his hair.
'Of course I do. I'm your best friend and seeing you like this isn't fun. It's what roommates and friends do,' Jin switched the water off and sat back on his heels. 'Do you want me to leave the room while you get changed?' At Yoongi's nod, the older male left for privacy.
Shivering, he climbed out of the bath before draining the water and rubbed his hair with a towel, soaking up as much water as possible. His wavy locks fell onto his forehead, hanging in his eyes. After drying the rest of his body off, he quickly got changed. Catching his reflection in the mirror, he sighed.
He still looked like shit. His hair was a colourful array of fading dye and natural brown. A monstrosity. His eyes still had minor eyes bags underneath and for the first time, he realised how skinny and sunken his face was. Cheeks were more prominent than usual, his skin held a weird grey tinge under the fresh pink. His lips were chapped and cracked. How was I allowed to work like this?
Jin's knock on the door snapped him awake again and he let his roommate in, a small smile on his face.
'I look like shit,' Jin snorted at that, taking hold of Yoongi's arm. 'What's for lunch or whatever? I'm starving and I look like I need food.' The older male led him to the kitchen and forced him into a chair.
'Just sit.' Jin set off to start cooking, grabbing things out of the freezer, cupboard, fridge or any place they kept food. Yoongi just watched him, fingers picking at the table.
It was interesting to observe Jin whenever he was in the kitchen. Every time he was in 'the zone' as Taehyung had dubbed it, a weird expression crossed his face, eyebrows drawn, tongue poking out of his mouth. His skilled hands could create the most amazing dishes and foods.
Maybe ten minutes later, Yoongi wasn't sure, Jin was setting a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon on the table complete with a small bowl of fruit and homemade juice. With a small nod of thanks, Yoongi dug in while his roommate took a seat across from him, watching him closely.
They sat in silence while Yoongi ate, both thinking the same yet different questions. Jin didn't want to upset Yoongi and the younger male didn't want to speak while he was currently stuffing his face. So instead, they just waited.
Just as Yoongi had finished and was about to speak, loud noises filtered through the room. Banging, talking and footsteps. He closed his mouth and scowled. The children are back. Sure enough, Two Taes were waltzing through the door, a smiling Jungkook in tow. Yoongi couldn't quite make out what they were talking about over the yelling but from the looks of Jungkook, he found it funny. That's good. At least Jungkook seems to be in a better mood.
Yoongi felt the corners of his lips turn down into a frown. While he'd been too busy caught up in his own misery and distracting himself from Hoseok, he'd completely forgotten about Jungkook's problem. I'm a terrible fucking person. Mental note: Talk to him later today.
'Can you three stop yelling in this house?' Jin shouted and Two Taes closed their mouths, staring at the older male with a weird expression. Suddenly, Taehyung's eyes landed on Yoongi and he grinned.
'He's alive!' He shouted and wrapped his skinny arms around Yoongi's shoulders. The hug was awkward thanks to the height difference but Yoongi couldn't find it in him to care. He'd missed Tae.
'Hey. Yeah I'm alive. Why wouldn't I be?' He scowled as Taehyung pulled away. Over his shoulder, he saw Jungkook's eyes go glassy. Oh no.Taehyung frowned. 'You're acting like I'm sick. Or dead.'
'Well, no but we didn't see you for almost two weeks and you looked like complete shit when we did. What the fuck happened to you?' Taemin's blunt tone scraped through the air and Yoongi shrugged, not really feeling it in him to tell the world his problems.
'I had to work over time.' Yoongi's tone signalised the end of the conversation. Taehyung frowned but didn't question it. He respected Yoongi.
'So, are you feeling any better?' Jungkook asked, breaking the weird an tense silence that had fallen over the four. Yoongi shrugged and shoved another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.
'A little,' an idea popped into his head and he directed his next question at Jin. 'I need some fresh air. Can I leave the house today?' Jin nodded.
'Don't see why you have to ask. I'm not your parental. Just don't go into work and be safe for the love of everything.' Jin rubbed his forehead dramatically and Yoongi smiled.
'I'm just gonna pop in and see Mina for a bit then wander around or something.' Before Jin could even get a word of protest out, Yoongi had set his now empty plate on the sink and sat on the floor. Once he'd found and yanked on his shoes, he was out the door with a wave.
**
The moment he'd set foot into the hill, instant regret fell over him as the wind bit into his pale skin. Goosebumps erupted on his arms and neck. I can't believe I forgot a damn jacket. It's too cold.
Yet he didn't really want to return home. Despite the wind about to give him hypothermia, Yoongi found comfort in it. Oddly, it was relaxing.
The only thing he'd brought with him was his headphones and phone and he cursed himself for not bringing his notebook.
Taking a seat on the bench, he watched the view below him. It wasn't as pretty during the day as it was at night. A lot less lights but so much more noise.
Even from up here, a far distance away from the city, Yoongi could hear the cars honking and engines revving up. On the occasion, he could smell the gas. Yoongi wrinkled his nose in disgust.
He'd been sitting on the bench for what must've been an hour when Jungkook texted him.
Kookie: hey Yoongi are you okay??
Yoongi: Ye I'm okay. How are you??
Kookie: def been better. Where are you? Jin won't tell me.
Yoongi: I'm with Mina.
Kookie: don't lie to me
Yoongi: okay fair point. I'm at this hill thing.
Kookie: okay.
Yoongi: I'm sorry about the last few weeks Kook. I'm sorry I'm a terrible person.
Kookie: don't apologise. It's all good.
Kookie: you aren't a terrible person.
Yoongi: we'll talk when I get back. I've missed you
Kookie: when
Yoongi didn't reply to him.
'Not sure, Kook.' He glanced down at his phone and found himself on Hoseok's tab. Before he even comprehended what was happening, his fingers were moving at their own accord.
Yoongi: hey Seokseok. I really do miss you and JM sorry if I've ever done anything to hurt you. I don't know what happened but I am sorry. Please talk to me.
Without hesitation, he hit send and a sinking feeling settled in his gut. What happened between us??
**
Yoongi wasn't sure how long he'd been on the hill. Long enough, I guess. He'd stayed there until his phone had died (probably a bad move) and then he'd left, moving to his next destination. Even though Jin had said to stay away from work, he still popped in and said hi to Mina.
The little bell dinged above his head and he grinned at the employee at the counter, Minho.
'Nice to see you're alive and okay!' Minho yelled, a few customers giving the two of them odd looks.
'Alive, sure. Not so certain about the alive part,' Yoongi was only half joking. At this point, he didn't wish to be alive. 'Is Mina here?'
With a nod, Minho pointed to the back. 'Just left for her break. You can catch her if you're fast.' Yoongi was nodding and running back out the door, taking the route to the back. Unfortunately, a gate blocked him from completely entering the building. So leaned against the gate, hands holding onto it.
Just as Minho has predicted, Mina was standing by the door having a smoke.
'I don't remember you being a smoker, Miss Mina.' Yoongi shouted and Mina jumped, accidentally dropping her cigarette. She let out a curse before scowling in Yoongi's direction.
'Christ you scared me.' Her hands to her chest, she made her way over. As she got closer, Yoongi could pick up on the concerned grin on her pretty face.
'Sorry.'
'Are you feeling okay?' He shrugged, kicking the gravel at his feet.
'I don't know. I mean, I'm kinda bummed,' an understatement 'that he's stopped talking to me out of the blue.' Mina rubbed his shoulder.
'I'll punch him the next time I see him.' Mina raised her fists and Yoongi snorted.
'He's a dancer. You'll lose.'
'I used to dance. So maybe I have a chance, bucket head. Don't underestimate me.' Mina punched him before turning serious.
'I'm serious though. He can't just break my best friend's heart like that and not expect repercussions.' Yoongi couldn't help the way his heart tugged.
'Thanks, Mina.'
'Oh and also? Please don't over work yourself. I don't like getting phone calls from Jong then from Jin saying you've collapsed. It's not fun. So please take care of yourself.' Mina's eyes were glassy and Yoongi rolled his eyes.
'Every single person has broken into tears please don't. I'm not dying and I'm alive and somewhat healthy. Please calm down. Besides, it's not like it was a breakup.' He really didn't like the pity he was getting. Bad enough it came from his own self. He didn't need anyone else contributing.
'I won't.' Mina didn't say anything else. They let the conversation drop and the two just stared at each other in complete silence.
A few moments later, Yoongi spoke up. 'I think I'm gonna quit.' The way Mina's eyes widened would've been comical.
'You can't. Jong will have your ass.' She shouted, completely bewildered.
'I know. But I'm already on thin ice with him thanks to my lie. So why not just quit?' It sounded reasonable enough, right?
Mina ran a hand through her hair and sighed before saying, 'I get why. Do you have anywhere else to go?'
'I'm sure I can find somewhere. It's not that hard to get a job, right? And if worse comes to worse, I could always work with Namjoon.'
'You'll still talk to me, right?' Mina asked, voice soft. Yoongi wrapped his arm around her shoulders, the fence digging into his body.
'Of course. You're more than a workmate now.'
'Thank fuck,' a sigh of relief left Mina's mouth followed by a chuckle. She was about to say something else when Minho stuck his head out.
'Mina, your break is over. Get your ass back inside.'
'Okay I'm coming,' she called back before turning back to Yoongi. 'Look after yourself, ratbag. Good luck with this resignation thing.' She kissed his cheek before bouncing back inside.
**
It was quarter to nine when he headed home, hands shoved in his pockets. Despite it being summer, the night air had a small bite to it. Not enough to completely give him chills but just enough so that his skin was icy to touch.
No noise could be heard from the hallway and no light seeped out from the door which Yoongi found weird. Usually at night was when Taehyung was at his peak noise. No one goes to bed this early in the night. Especially not the children.
Tentative, Yoongi unlocked the door and went inside. He did his best to navigate the dark without bumping into anything or making any noise.
Unfortunately, that didn't last very long as he smacked his hip into the table and let out a yelp of pain.
'Who the fuck?' Sudden light filtered the room and Yoongi blinked before his eyes focused on Jungkook, staring back at him. 'Why didn't you turn the light on?' He asked. The TV was alive behind Jungkook, almost mute.
Yoongi rubbed his hip, wincing as the pain pulsed. It felt like he'd been shot. 'Good question. I thought everyone was asleep.'
'They went out. Not sure where but Namjoon and Taemin went with them.' Jungkook sat back down in the chair, turning his attention back to the TV. Yoongi sat down beside Jungkook, hand grabbing the younger males.
'So, what's wrong?'
Jungkook's lip wobbled. 'I don't know.' His voice was quiet and Yoongi had to strain to hear it.
'I'll wait,' Yoongi would've happily waited ages for Jungkook to open up. He'd do
everything in his power to protect and help Jungkook feel safe, loved. Even if that meant waiting hours, months, years for him to open up, Yoongi would do it. 'I'm listening and I'm here to help you, Kook.'
It took a while before Jungkook said anything. 'I feel like complete shit most of the time now. All I can think about is how much my fucking parents hate me. How they threw me out, their own fucking son, out of their house. How my brother who was supposed to protect me, stood back and watched them hurt me. What kind of fucked up family does that?' Yoongi didn't say anything, just waited.
'They're supposed to love their children, no matter what. Yet, I got my ass kicked for loving Taehyung,' Jungkook's featured softened, almost child-like. 'Taehyung. He means the world to me, Yoongi. Without him, I don't know what would've happened to me. I'd probably be homeless without him. Or dead.
'He took me under his wing and even though his grandma could barely look after three kids and Tae struggled with his own parents, he kept me safe. I owe everything to him. I don't think anything I do is enough to repay him for what he did for me though. He deserves so much more than me, Yoongi. He deserves a boy who doesn't get flash backs and panic attacks because of his shitty parents. He deserves a boy who'll willingly be affectionate in public with him. He deserves anyone who isn't me.' Jungkook's voice had wavered throughout his speech with tears gathering and his hands clenching. Yoongi felt his heart drop and he struggled to find the right words.
'That kid has such a heart of gold, Kook. He fucking loves you so much. You're his whole entire life, Jungkook. I've never seen someone look so in love, it makes me so sick,' Yoongi wrapped his arm around the younger male. 'You truly can't see how he stares at you but his eyes get so wide and he's got this goofy look on his face every time. Kinda like a puppy.' Jungkook giggled.
'He doesn't care that you have a fucked up past. It doesn't bother Tae that you won't hold his hand in public or kiss him. He's happy waiting for you to be comfortable in your own skin, Kook. The only thing that matters to him is your happiness. Shit, Taehyung would fight anyone and everyone that got in the way of your happiness. He was ready to fight Jin because he made you cry once. You're his whole fucking world.' By the end of Yoongi's speech, Jungkook had silent tears pouring down his cheeks.
'I want to marry him,' He stuttered. That took Yoongi by surprise. 'I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Yet, I can't even hold his hand around people. If gay marriage was legal, I'd marry him right now. But, my own fucking anxiety is holding me back as well and its shit. I can't give him anything.'
'One day you will. You should speak about this with him. I'm not much help. Before you even think about marriage though, you do need to get better.' A small sigh left Jungkook's lips.
'I'm trying so hard. It's just so difficult when every little thing reminds me of my parents. I'm tired of them ruining my fucking life like this. They're probably happily living, forcing me out of their memories, pretending I don't exist while I wake up in tears and shaking so much that Tae has to calm me down. It's not fair. Mark say's the first steps to recovery is facing the problem but I'm tired of this. I hate facing the problem!' Yoongi stroked a sobbing Jungkook's hair, trying to calm him. 'Can you call Taetae...?'
Without a second of hesitation, Yoongi was texting Tae.
Yoongi: Jk needs you.
Taebae: I'm on my way. Give me ten mins max. Please calm him as much as possible.
'He's a few minutes away. How about we get you some water, okay?' Yoongi guided Jungkook to a kitchen chair and sat him down before padding over to the kitchen and fetching a wet rag. He pressed it to Jungkook's eyes.
'Takes down the puffy redness. Don't worry.' The two of them just sat in silence while Yoongi worked on decreasing the puffiness of Jungkook's eyes. Once Yoongi was 100% most of the puffiness had gone down, he rubbed Jungkook's back. A few moments later, Kook spoke up.
'Thank you, Yoongi. You didn't have to help me.' He tried to smile but it wavered and his eyes glassed over again.
'It's okay. Don't thank me. But please don't cry.'
'I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm selfish. We didn't get to speak about what's bothering you.'
Yoongi waved Jungkook's words away. 'It's fine. I've got Jin to burden. Besides, your mental health and problems are much more important than mine.' Jungkook smiled.
'I don't deserve any of you.' Yoongi just kissed the top of his head. Neither said a word until the front door made a noise and Taehyung was bursting into the room, a concerned Jin following.
'Kook! Oh my god.' Tae rushed over and immediately hugged his boyfriend while Jungkook started to cry again. Yoongi moved out of the way to stand beside Jin. Both Tae and Jungkook's mouths were moving but it was all a jumbled mess, only they could hear it.
'What happened?' Jin asked.
'Panic attack basically. The kid's so sad my heart hurts.' Yoongi bit down on his lip and tugged at his shirt with his other hand. Tae had coaxed Jungkook up out of his seat and was now leading him down the hallway. Not once did Tae let go of the younger male.
'They're so good for eachother.' Jin mumbled and Yoongi hummed in agreement.
'Where did you guys go?'
'There was this festival thing and Taemin had gotten us tickets so we went. Jungkook stayed home since he wasn't feeling well.'
'Did you bring me food?' Yoongi asked, finally realising that was he hungry. Jin shook his head.
'But I can make you something?'
'No it's okay. Can we go and order? Just you and me?' Yoongi asked and Jin nodded.
'Definitely.' At that moment, Yoongi's phone buzzed and with a frown, he pulled it out of his pocket. Who the fuck- Yet his stomach fell out of his ass seeing the name he hadn't seen in two weeks flashing on screen.
Hope: Yoongi...
Hope: we need to talk.
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