I threw up all the food I ate earlier. I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth. I sat down on the floor and listened to my heavy breathing.

Like I said, this isn't healthy, but I want to stay fit. At least I'm not doing drugs, that means I'm not going to die or anything...right?

I looked at my jeans and laughed that they were the same as Lisa's.

Why am I like this?

Oh right, I have feelings for Jungkook. I'm so desperate for his affection, but I know I'm never going to get it.

***

"I got something for you", Jin said to Hoseok.

Hoseok looked up at him happily. Jin put his hand in his pocket to take out something. He pulled his hand out and made a heart sign with his fingers.

Hoseok pouted and turned towards me. Jin laughed at his reaction and continued talking to Yoongi and Namjoon.

"Yah, you feeling okay? You look so out of it right now", Hoseok said.

That immediately caught Jimin's and Jin's attention.

"...Yeah, I'm fine"

I've been taking a lot of diet pills and pain killers. They are giving me migraines...but I have to be strong and deal with it.

I want to stay skinny and fit, I want to look good for Jungkook. Lisa isn't here, so it's a good opportunity for me to get his attention.

..Why am I so insecure? Why can't I have confidence in myself like Jin or Lisa?

All I want is to be more confident in myself, but I can't. My facial features and my weight is not how I wanted it to look like.

Lisa has the perfect body and face. She's thin, tall, has pretty eyes and lips. Why can't I have that?

"Tae? Yah, you look pale", Jungkook said.

"H-Huh? Really?"

Jungkook reached his hand out and wiped something off my face. The action made my heart pump faster.

"Why are you crying?"

I'm crying? I didn't even notice.

I wiped my tears away and laughed awkwardly. Hoseok wrapped his arm around me to give me a hug, but I pushed him away.

"S-Sorry", I said and walked out the cafe.

I cried in front of everyone...this is bad.