Starting the school year with no friends was definitely not very fun. I had no friends, one brother was on tour and the other was out with his friends doing his own thing. Dad and mom went on tour again, this time heading to South America. 'Leaving' me with my brother, but to be honest he was hardly around since he was in the studio.

To add to it, Megan began to spread rumors about me and was a bitch to me every day. I pushed it aside and kept up to date with my homework and with the fall play. It was lonely at home, and most nights I was scared to sleep since I was the only one in such a big house. On top of that, I had my online classes. I got little to no sleep, and was stressed out beyond imaginable.

I talked one of Joey's friends into supplying me with bottles. It was money well spent, I no longer had problems sleeping since the vodka would lull me to sleep. At some point I just stopped caring about school. My As fell to Bs and I stopped pushing myself so hard. My sanity was on the edge and I couldn't take it anymore. There was no one at home to talk to, no one at school, and it was tiring. By the time my parents got home, the fall play was over and it was nearly thanks giving.

The weight I had gained over spring and the summer (pushing me from barely 105, to 120) had come off and I was barely 100lbs. I stayed busy at school so they wouldn't see how fucked up I had become while they were gone, and no one was the wiser. Somehow I managed to put on some weight, so it wasn't nearly as bad, but I hid in my hoodies and claimed that the jackets belong to my brothers when they were in fact mine.

December brought the holidays, which meant family and traveling. After my final exams were over, we headed to Minnesota for a few weeks. It was really fun, but far too cold for my liking. Back in the Bay, we celebrated with the rest of Dad's side of the family and kept it easy and simple. Mom had gotten me some clothes and when I tried them on, they were really big on me.

"I could have sworn I bought the right sizes." She had mumbled. I knew they were the sizes from last summer. So when it was dinner time, I always ate a lot ( I mean I was hungry), but even after a few weeks of eating really good, I had only managed to gain a few pounds, putting me just over 103, a grand total of 4 whole pounds gained. I was still always tired and cold, but I was feeling better than I did a few weeks ago. My long black hair had begun to fall out a few weeks ago and it was the most disturbing thing. It didn't help that my skin was dull and my normally green eyes were rimmed with redness and dark circles.

By the time school started again, Dad was packing to go back on tour for the final parts of this tour. They were headed to Asia before going to Australia and hitting the leg of the North American tour. To be honest, I've seen my dad play live maybe three times if that. I was looking forward to them coming and playing a show here in the Bay so I could go see. The musical was really fun and I had a lead role, which I was really excited for. I didn't showcase it but I was a decent singer, and a good actress.

Despite how much I ate, and how often, I didn't gain any weight. With dancing in the musical, I started to lose weight again, and couldn't keep up. In an attempt to stop losing weight, I drank protein drinks all the time and did everything I could think of to keep healthy. Once I hit 90lbs I stopped losing weight. With my parents both gone, there was no one to freak out and panic. Joey had came home from tour a while back and was around, but he was out most of the time. Jakob had started his own tour and was now gone, and was playing shows all over California.

Rehearsals were going pretty well, I was having fun and making some friends out of cast mates and crew members. Megan was still making my life a living hell, this time spreading rumors that I had an eating disorder, which got me called into the office. With my parents gone, I could get away with nearly anything and everything. Cassidy joined in with her, she told people about my time in foster care and talked shit about me. On one hand, I had been very open on my youtube channel so, its not like I hadn't discussed it before.

One day after the show had ended (literally like three days later), my head hurt, it was hard to breathe, and I felt like I was drowning. I kept doing my homework despite feeling so shitty. As I was walking down the stairs, I felt like it was harder to breathe, and my body get heavy. The last thing I remembered was the stairs getting closer to my face as I began to fall.