Emie didn’t sleep that night.  She had dinner in her room, declining Lucia’s invite to eat with everyone else. Lucia pressed her a bit, but Emie held fast.  She couldn’t bear to sit there, force down food and pretend her stomach wasn’t in absolute knots.  At around 9:30 that night, their Aunt Erica arrived in Bora Bora, and Emie managed to wash her face and pull herself together long enough to drop by her Aunt’s room and greet her.  Erica had obviously wanted to visit with Emie longer, but Emie feigned being exhausted and said they could catch up the next morning.
       She went back to her suite, crawled into bed, and threw the covers over her head.  She ignored the beautiful view that was just outside the doors by her bed.  She didn’t care that it was barely ten p.m. She just wanted to disappear.  She was in paradise, and she was pretty sure she had never felt so conflicted. 
       She closed her eyes, and the only thing she could see was Tom’s brilliant blue ones.  His voice kept repeating in her head.  She knew she had hurt him but she had felt a bit like a cornered animal.  She barely understood her feelings, how could she communicate them to him? She didn’t want this to end, and especially not like this.  But she also felt so unsure about things.  Part of her felt so close to him, as if she’d known him for so much longer than she really had.  Then reality would settle in, like a heavy blanket on her shoulders. She didn’t know him that well.  She knew he worked a lot. She knew he didn’t stay in one place for long.  She knew that he was funny and silly, kind and thoughtful, intelligent and amazingly sweet.  But was that enough?  She felt like it should be, but she felt herself teeter on the edge of cliff, looking over the edge and not quite ready to take the leap.  Something kept her feet firmly on the ground.
       The next morning, Lucia showed up at her door at close to eight a.m. She had muffins, and was obnoxiously cheerful.
       “Emeline!” She sang, throwing curtains and doors open as she walked around the room.  Emie groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face in her pillow.  She had maybe managed to fall asleep around 4 or 5.  The time had started to blur together.
       “Go away.” She mumbled, barely audible.  She felt a heavy weight drop down onto her bed, and then she felt Lucia’s body roll next to hers.
       “I brought you muffins.  Chocolate ones.  I don’t know why they are considered muffins if they are chocolate.  Shouldn’t they be cupcakes?” Lucia said, her voice in Emie’s ear.  Emie groaned and mumbled something incoherent. “What?” Lucia asked.
       “No icing.” Emie grumbled.
       “Ah, perhaps that’s the difference.”
       “Of course it is, you idiot.” Emie said as Lucia pulled the blankets off of her.  Lucia made a clicking noise at her, one which Emie knew well to mean she was holding back from being annoyed or angry.
       “You’re so mean in the morning.” Lucia slapped Emie on the butt, which made Emie sit up quickly, her face red and irritated.
       “Can you please LEAVE?” She growled, throwing a pillow at Lucia’s head. She hadn’t been expecting it and it hit her smack dab on the head.  She fell back slightly and yelped.
       “GRUMPY.” Lucia shook her head, not moving from the bed. 
       “I need some space.” Emie huffed, sitting back down on the bed.
       “Is that what you told Tom?” Lucia tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.  Emie groaned and flopped back onto the bed, feeling as if all the bones in her body had dissipated.
       “None of your business.  Get out of my room, please.”
       “Come to the beach.” Lucia asked, her voice sweet. Emie shook her head quickly.
       “Leave me here to die.” Emie rolled over onto her stomach and shut her eyes.
       “That’s not dramatic at all.” Lucia sighed, rolling her eyes.  “Emie, you are in paradise.  Are you really going to stay in bed all day?” Lucia asked, gently reaching over and rubbing her sister’s back.  Emie took a deep breath.
       “I’m really confused, Luce.”
       “I know, babe.” Lucia laid down next to Emie and pressed her face close to hers.  Emie took a shuddering breath, feeling tears burn her eyes.  She turned her head so she could see Lucia.  Lucia reached over, gently pushing back her hair from her eyes.
       “He’s so different than anyone I’ve ever met. But I just…I can’t…” Emie bit her lip, a tear rolling down over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face.  Lucia hugged her, pulling her into her arms.
       “I know.  I know it’s hard.” Lucia sighed.  Emie brushed her tears away.
       “I’m sorry.  I promise I’ll be fine by tonight.  I just need a minute.  I don’t want to ruin your wedding week.” Emie sighed.  Lucia shook her head
       “You’re not ruining anything, Emie.  Don’t worry.”
       “Where is Aunt Erica? Can’t she go to the beach with you?” Emie asked.
       “She’s at the spa. I got her a spa day. The whole deal.” Lucia smiled.  Emie nodded, her mind elsewhere.
       “Have you seen Tom?” She asked sheepishly.  Lucia was quiet for a moment, but then she chuckled.
       “Yes.  He and Chris got really drunk last night.” She said with a snort.  Emie looked at her, surprised.
       “Yeah?”
       “Yes, and Tom fell into the pool with all his clothes on.” Lucia laughed, shaking slightly. Emie sat up.
       “What?!” She laughed.
       “And of course Chris had to save him, so Chris jumped in after him. With all his clothes on as well.  It was like 1 or 2 in the morning, and they were making a lot of noise.  I think someone tried to do CPR on someone else, I’m not mentioning names to protect the innocent.” Lucia howled with laughter, and then covered her face with her hands.
       “You’re kidding.” Emie looked horrified but amused. 
       “No. The hotel staff had to come out and escort them back to the bungalows.” Lucia snorted.  Emie laughed, letting herself enjoy the feeling.
       “What were they drinking?” She asked.  Lucia shrugged.
       “I don’t know.  Chris isn’t up yet, and I couldn’t ask him last night.  I had to strip him out of his wet clothes and then he passed out cold in bed.  Completely naked!” Lucia kept laughing.  She went on about how ridiculous they were, and things Chris was saying while drunk, but Emie was suddenly lost in her own thoughts.  Of course Tom had made it back to his room okay, but she wondered if he had passed out in his wet clothes.  Or if he’d been able to take care of himself, like Lucia had taken care of Chris.  She swallowed.  She wondered why, in this moment of feeling so confused, all she could think about was how much she had wished she’d been there to laugh at him, peel him out of his wet clothes and put him safe and warm into bed.  She felt the concern rush over her, and then fall heavy into her stomach.
       Emie got out of bed, and pushed a hand quickly through her hair.
       “Emie? You okay?” Lucia asked, once she realized Emie hadn’t been listening to her for the past couple of minutes.  Emie nodded, walking over and grabbing a change of clothes and her bathing suit from her closet.
       “Yeah.  I’ll meet you at the beach in a few minutes, okay?” She said.  Lucia nodded, looking pleased.
       “Do you want your chocolate cupcake?” Lucia asked, nodding toward the bag on the night stand.
       “Of course.” Emie  smiled.
      

      
       Emie could feel the sweat rolling slowly down between her breasts.  The day was hot, even so early. She had her messy hair pulled back, and was wearing big, dark sunglasses that would hopefully hide the bags under her eyes.  She had slipped into a white bikini.  She had shoved her black bikini she’d worn on the boat trip somewhere deep in her suitcase.  She wasn’t quite sure she’d ever be able to wear it again.  Not after that trip, and all those memories.
       Emie settled down onto her oversized beach towel, soaking in the sun.
       “It’s so hot.” Lucia sighed, rolling over.
       “Want to go swimming in a bit?” Emie asked. Lucia made a noncommittal noise.  They had been lying out on the beach for almost two hours.  The beach was nearly deserted, save for a few couples nearby.  One of the perks of staying at such a small, luxurious hotel.
       “Ladies, can I get you anything?” A deep voice said from Emie’s side.  She looked over, and saw Chris and Tom walking up.  Her breath caught in her throat.
       “Hey baby.  How are you feeling?” Lucia asked Chris, looking at him with her hand over her eyes to shield from the sun.  Chris grinned, looking almost bashful.
       “Not bad.  We just got some breakfast and thought we’d see how you lovely ladies were doing.” Chris threw a bag down onto the sand by Lucia.  Tom stood a few feet behind Chris, as if waiting for an invitation to stay.  Emie watched him from behind the safety of her sunglasses.  He was wearing a white t shirt, and swim shorts.  Different ones than he’d had on the boat. 
       “We’re okay.  We’re going for a swim soon.  It’s hot out here.” Lucia said, handing Chris a bottle of lotion so he could rub it onto her shoulders.  Chris instantly went to work, dropping down into the sand next to his fiancé.  Tom stayed where he was, waiting.
       “Hi, Tom.” Emie said softly, looking up at him.  He looked tired, but handsome.  Nothing all that different from normal, but she could see the wary look in his eyes.  His hair was a bit messier than usual.  Other than that, same Tom.  His eyes searched for hers, though they were hidden under the dark lenses of her sunglasses.
       “Emie.” He said softly, seeming to take this as invitation enough to put his towel down a foot or two from hers.  He sat down then, pulling his legs up to his chest and leaning back.  They were quiet, while Chris and Lucia kept chatting.  Emie felt stiff, as if she couldn’t move.  She looked down at her bathing suit, tugging uncomfortably at the straps.
       “Emie, your shoulders are getting red.” Lucia said, tossing her the suntan lotion.  She caught it.  “We are getting in the water.” Lucia said, standing up and grabbing Chris’ hands.  They quickly made their way to the water, leaving Emie and Tom behind.  How convenient.  Emie sighed.
       She put a bit of suntan lotion on her hands and started trying to rub it into her shoulders, knowing she was missing the harder to reach spots.
       “May I?” Tom asked.  Emie paused, thinking for a moment before nodding and handing him the bottle.  She carefully turned her back to him, sitting back on her heels.  There was a fraction of a pause, and then a second later, she felt his hands on her. His touch was firm and gentle.  He covered her shoulders, the nape of her neck, her shoulder blades.  She swallowed hard, trying not to think about the last time he had been touching her like this.  They hadn’t been on a beach with other people.  They had been very much alone.
       Emie stayed completely still, holding her breath the entire time.  He only took a minute, but it felt much longer.  She waited, closing her eyes for just a split second.
       “You’re all set.” His voice was soft.  She nodded and mumbled thanks.  She turned and moved back toward her own towel.  They were quiet for a minute, both watching the turquoise blue water.  Chris and Lucia were out in the calm water, splashing each other and swimming.
       “I heard you went for a late night swim last night.” She said, breaking the silence. Tom laughed softly, and shook his head.
       “I think I’ve gotten a bit of swimmers ear from it.” He chuckled, tapping his ear.  Emie smiled.
       “At least Chris was there to save you.”
       “Oh is that what he told you?” Tom groaned.  “More like the oaf nearly drowned me in attempt to save me in four feet of water.” He chuckled. 
       “I don’t know who to believe.” She giggled.
       “I’ll take the high road and say that we were both a little drunk.” Tom grinned, and Emie laughed fully.  She shook her head and looked over at Tom.  He was looking at her, a warm smile on his face.  She wanted so badly to just lean a bit closer and touch him.  He seemed to have the same thought in mind, except he acted on it.  Leaning over, he reached up and gently took off her sunglasses.  Emie sat completely still, their eyes finally locking.  She blinked.
       “Hi there.” He said then, the smile slowly fading.  She bit her lip, looking into his clear blue eyes and finding it hard to breathe.
       “Hi.” She whispered.  He gently touched her just under her chin with his thumb, but then seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled back.  She pressed her lips together and leaned back on her arms.
       “How was your night?” He asked.  Emie nodded, but didn’t say anything.  She always was terrible at lying. 
       “Okay.” She finally said, deciding that less was better.
       “Hm.” He said, looking down and running his hands idly through the sand.  Emie did the same, digging her fingers into the surprisingly cool sand.
       “Tom--” She said softly, and he looked up, expectantly.  Emie opened her mouth but then was quickly interrupted.
       “Hey guys!” The voice was high and Emie would have recognized it in any of her worse nightmares.  They both turned toward the shrill sound and saw Lucia’s friend, Vicky, running toward them through the sand.  She was wearing a barely there string bikini, and her fake breasts were leading the way.  Emie tensed. 
       “Hello.” Tom said, though he wasn’t smiling.
       “I was hoping I’d find you all here.  Where are Chris and Lucia?” She asked, stopping in front of their towels.  Up close, Emie could make out the superficially round balloon shape of her breasts.  She had her dark hair up in a high bun, and was wearing enough gold jewelry to finance a small country.
       “Swimming.” Emie said flatly.  Vicky turned around, giving them both an eyeful of her bikini bottom that was barely covering her ass.  Emie frowned.  She didn’t look at Tom.  She didn’t want to see his reaction.  It wasn’t that Emie wasn’t confident in herself, but it was hard not to feel somewhat inadequate when sitting next to a nearly plastic woman.  Vicky was all ass and tits.  Emie had curves, but she also had full hips and she thought her legs could be a little longer.  This was not what she needed that morning.
       “Oh there they are!” Vicky exclaimed, waving at Lucia in the water.  She bounced back around and then leaned down, her ass practically in Tom’s face as she spread her beach towel out next to his.  Tom cleared his throat softly, and shifted.
       “Tom, I’m so glad you’re here.  I would really love to talk to you about our line of work.” Vicky’s voice was so shrill that Emie wondered if the dolphins could understand her better than they could.
       Tom nodded, but didn’t say anything.  Emie wondered how long she could stand staying there.
       “We’re on vacation, Vicky.  Maybe we can save the shop talk for another time.” Tom said.  Although he said it with a good humored tinge to his voice, Emie was surprised.  He didn’t normally turn people down.  Vicky didn’t seem to get the hint though.
       “Oh, I’m sure there are other things we could chat about.” She said, sitting down on her towel.  She leaned forward, adjusting her top and Emie was pretty sure she saw nipple.  Tom must have seen the same thing, because he was suddenly staring out at the water, as if he’d never seen the color blue.
       “I’m going for a swim.” Emie mumbled, standing up. Tom watched her, his eyes panicked.
       “Emeline.” He said, his voice low.
       “Do you want to come with?” She asked, softly.  She couldn’t abandon him there with Vicky the Vampire.  Ready to suck him dry.
       “Yes.” He jumped off his towel, pulled his shirt off and practically pulled Emie toward the water.