Today is the day of the gathering, and I'm trying to fight through the anxiety and flashbacks I'm having from the last meeting.

Last night, Carmen had a rough night with several nightmares, so I didn't get much sleep, which adds to my ever-growing anxiousness. Even though I tried taking a nap this afternoon, I couldn't get my mind to shut off, and I've had way too much caffeine and now feel jittery.

I've also torn everything apart in the room and still can't find my bracelet, and I don't like the constant panic I feel when I unconsciously reach for it with my foot or even when I've worn it wrapped around my wrist, too.

I don't necessarily have the same bad feeling I remember having before the last gathering, but at this point, I'm not sure I trust anything I feel nowadays.

Things with JP have been tense, to say the least, these past five days since the food fight at dinner, followed by our heated argument that led to our laughing. After that, we've hardly spoken to each other unless it's regarding the kids. I know he's trying to be respectful and give me space, but I don't like it.

Yes, I'm fully aware of what a complete hot mess I must sound like and probably look like, too.

"Are you okay, mom?" Lucy walks up to me and startles me when she holds my hand.

I look over at her and smile, "Yes, just incredibly alert at the moment." My jitteriness is also making me jumpy.

"What are you looking for?" Kai asks as he sits on the couch after I put all the cushions back.

"Nothing," I mutter absentmindedly, trying to retrace my steps mentally to figure out where I had it last.

"Hey guys," Marco walks into the family room in his dirty baseball uniform. "Whoa, is this yours? Have you used it yet?" He picks up the whip I left on the back of the couch. The twins and Lucy look at each other as Marco runs his hands along the whip.

"Yes, I have."

"Badass," Marco states. Lola claps happily, stating she will be rich before the end of the summer from everyone having to add to the swear jar.

"Who said the money was just for you?" Carmen questions, crossing her arms.

"John Paul, 'member?" Lola says while sticking her tongue out at Carmen.

"How was baseball camp, Marco?" I ask him while I watch him still handling the whip.

He looks up and smiles at me, "Good. I'm glad I went; it was good to see some of the other guys on the team. And coach had us running some intense drills. I'm exhausted," Marco chuckles.

"So, is this your weapon of choice?" He coils the whip back up and hands it to me as I catch Lucy admiring Marco in his uniform, but I can't blame her; I used to do the same to JP whenever he was in his uniform around the house when we were younger.

"No, these are," I show them the knives sheathed on the side of my thigh and others on my belt and forearms. "But these are starting to grow on me, too," I unholster the two guns Timo gave me for my birthday, from my dual holster on my back.

"Damn, these are sleek," Kai grabs one; he's careful with his handling them just like I've shown him and makes sure the safety is on.

"How come you've never shown us these before?" Miles asks as he takes it from Kai. "You've always used 9 millimeters, but these are dope."

"I've just had them put away," I state, taking the gun back from him.

"Are you dressed like this because you think something will happen again?" Lucy asks quietly from behind me. I turn to face her, and I see the worry and fear she's trying to hide.

"No, sweet Lucy, but it's better to be prepared, right?" I hug her, and she nods.

The truth is, JP told me that if something should go down again, there's already a plan in place. The kids know about the safe room in the house and know that's where they will have to wait until Joey comes for them. And they will stay with Annalisa and Joey until one of us gets back to them, but if we don't, JP already had things set up with Joey and Annalisa for the kids to be looked after.

I try not to focus too much on the what-ifs, but as I look at each of their faces, I fight the urge to break down.

"I won't let anything happen to Stella," Enzo assures them as he walks in. He fist-bumps the guys and hugs the girls.

"You ready?" He turns to me. I nod and follow him out of the family room.

"I love you, mom," Lucy calls out, then Kai and Miles repeat the same.

"I love you all. I'll see you guys later," I smile at them reassuringly before walking out.

"Are you nervous?" I ask Cristian, who's waiting in the foyer. He chuckles and tells me he's too old to get nervous while I roll my eyes laughing.

Mateo and Topo are coming, too, so I'm guessing he figures he'll have more than enough protection if something goes down.

"I hear Skidmark is coming..." Enzo nudges me; I look over at him; his face is still healing from the beating the Albanians gave him.

"Stop, you know we're taking a break, Enzo."

"I thought you said he wasn't for it, though?" Enzo questions as we load up in the SUV.

"Yes, but we haven't seen each other since we got back from Jersey, and I've only talked to him once." I sigh, buckling my seat belt. I'm nervous to see Sean, too. With his family and actual work obligations, and everything else going on, being apart is happening whether he wants it or not.

"So, are we going to some old abandoned-looking building again?" I ask Cristian.

He laughs, "No, John Paul is using one of his buildings. With the large group that will be there, we needed something to accommodate the numbers without drawing attention to ourselves. Considering what happened last time, he wanted to be in control of everyone coming and going and is handling all of the security himself.

He will probably inform everyone about the Albanians, and he has other outside families coming, obviously your boyfriend with the Irish Mob. Still, we will be joined by the Russians and some of the Latin families as well."

"Who would have thought, JP would be some big shot like this, right?" Enzo chuckles. "Good thing he has us to remind him of his humble beginnings." He grins at me, wiggling his eyebrows, making me laugh.

"Lorenzo, despite your relationship with John Paul, be respectful. And don't embarrass me," Cristian states, very business-like. Enzo does a mock salute before rolling his eyes.

"I mean it," Cristian emphasizes.

I laugh, "Don't worry, Enzo. He said the same thing to me at the last gathering before I ended up saving his ass." I wink at Cristian. Cristian mutters in annoyance while Enzo and I burst out laughing.

"This is going to be an interesting meeting," Topo states as he watches us while Mateo nods in agreement. We spend the rest of the forty-five-minute drive singing songs to the radio, and by we, I mean, Enzo and me.

When we pull into the underground garage, and everyone piles out of the car. "That was probably the longest drive of my life, and I once had to fly back to Italy, sitting next to a screaming baby for more than half the flight." Mateo comments looking back at Enzo and me as we climb out last.

"Don't hate us 'cause you ain't us," Enzo retorts, straightening his leather jacket as he steps out of the SUV.

"I feel like you've spent way too much time with Joey," I tell him as we head towards the elevator.

"Well, that's because I have," Enzo laughs.

We walk into the elevator, and Cristian, knowing where he's going, pushes a button to the main floor. The doors close, and the elevator starts to ascend when someone passes gas.

"Seriously, guys?" I gag from the smell that's invading my senses.

They all start laughing except for Cristian, who looks up at the ceiling muttering something unintelligible in Italian.

When the doors open, I push my way out of the elevator gasping for fresh air while the guys are all still laughing.

"Enough," Cristian says seriously.

I stand next to him as he addresses the guys. "Now that you've all had your fun, I expect nothing but professionalism. You know what and who you represent." I nod my head at them, showing my support for Cristian.

The guys click their heels together in unison, standing upright and salute. "You can count on us, mon Capitaine!" Enzo says proudly.

Cristian exhales loudly, "That's french, you idiot." He mutters.

"I know," Enzo responds, grinning back at him, and I chuckle.

We follow as Cristian leads the way through the large lobby of a fancy building. I'm just noticing its features. Its clean lines give it a modern feel, but some pictures bring warmth into the empty hallways.

Cristian walks up to a woman dressed in a sharp blazer and sits behind a desk. Her brown hair is pulled up in a twist; she smiles at us as we approach.

"Romano." Cristian states and she stands, asking us to follow her. She leads us down another short hall through an opening and double doors that are propped open.

The room is large and can easily hold a couple of hundred people, but the large semi-circle table set up probably only seats about fifty, maybe sixty. Cristian leads us to the far left side of the vast room, and he converses with a few other Don's.

More men start walking in and take seats around the table.

And then Sean walks in with his father, Declan, and his cousin, Tommy, and Owen, Sean's Uncle; Sean smiles when he sees me.

"Scusi, signorina." A female voice comes from behind me, and I turn around.

The beautiful young girl is probably in her late teens, maybe early twenties, and holds her hand out to me. "You are, Stella Bracco, yes?" Her accent is heavy as she smiles at me and then looks at the guys behind me.

I take her hand and shake it, a little apprehensive."Yes, do I know you?"

She catches me off guard when she hugs me tightly. "No. No, you do not know me. But you are like an idol to me." She blushes as she pulls away. I look at Enzo, and he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"My name is Katalina; you helped saved my little sister, Ariana, a few years ago. And I'm sure you also helped with my papa, Don D'Angelo."

Don D' Angelo approaches us, giving me a warm smile; his face is still healing from the beating Gio gave him, too. He bows a little, making me feel self-conscious as people start to watch the interaction. "Signorina Bracco, it is a pleasure to see you again. You are even more beautiful than I remember." He kisses my hand.

I laugh lightly, "It's good to see you, too, Don D'Angelo. But please call me Stella. "

"I see you met my figlia, Katalina. She could hardly contain herself at the possibility of getting a chance to meet you here tonight." He smiles proudly at his daughter. "Don Santiago is generous enough to allow her to come as she is my next heir. I know it is still of an unpopular opinion to let women lead, among some, but you have changed some of the stigmas, so I thank you."

"Si, Grazie," Katalina states as she shakes my hand again enthusiastically. I introduce her to Cristian, and the rest of the guys.

We make some more small talk before I see Sean stand up from sitting with his family. I excuse myself and head towards him, but I'm stopped abruptly when someone moves to stand in my way, "It's you. The dancer from the club, Raven?" The unfamiliar man smiles at me.

"My name is Stella. And yes, I was one of the dancers but not anymore. So if you'll excuse me," I smile at him and step around him, but the man chuckles and holds on to my elbow to keep me from walking away; I look down at his hand and then back at him.

"What do you say about getting a drink after this?" He smiles at me as he rubs his neatly trimmed goatee. "And then...maybe give me a private dance or two. I'm curious to find out exactly how flexible you are."

"You don't know who I really am, do you?" I smile sweetly back at him.

"Do you know who I am?" He responds, amused.

"No."

"Then I guess we're even," He states, chuckling. "But I think I have an advantage. Are you here to provide entertainment later?" His eyes rake down my clothes, "Although, this outfit is not working for me, if I'm honest."

"I'm going to give you a pass for your ignorant comments and let you walk away." I move past him again, but this time I'm whirled around to face him.

"Perhaps, you should ask who I am, Signorina." He grins at me, "I am not someone you turn your back on."

"Stels, is everything okay?" Sean says from behind me. I look back at him, not wanting this to escalate any further, and tell him I'm fine and not interfere. Then, I face the guy who's still holding onto my arm tightly.

And then John Paul walks in with an entourage of men, Adonis and Nicky at his sides. He looks around the room and sees the interaction between myself and the other man. His eyes zero in on the tight grip on my arm. His jaw clenches, and there is fire behind his dark eyes.

Nicky starts moving forward, but JP stops him as I look back at him, hoping he understands, and when I see the slight nod, I know he does.

I put my focus back on the man in front of me and grip on to the guy's hand and yank his thumb back hard, loosening his grip on my arm, and then I twist his arm behind him. He grunts, breathing heavily when I slam him onto the table. "Put your hands on me again, and I will fucking break both of your arms and shove them up your ass. Got it?" I hiss into his ear. He nods, and I shove him before I step back.

I walk away, feeling the eyes in the room on me as I make my way back to Cristian and Enzo, who are still standing, waiting for me. JP gives me a small smile before he moves to the front of the room with his men.

Adonis addresses the room, "Everyone take your seats, per favore. It's time to begin."