"Melanie's eaten less and less each day and stopped eating completely as of yesterday evening. Her body temperature has also been steadily dropping." Dot dabs a tissue at her tear-filled eyes.

"She's been declining the last few hours rapidly. She's not going to make it through the night, maybe not even the next couple of hours. It's hard to say," Damien informs JP and me.

My mind immediately goes to the kids, and it becomes hard to take in a full breath; my chest becomes heavy and painfully tight.

Not yet, please not yet, I keep repeating in my head as Enzo holds me close to him. "How? I mean, she seemed so energetic earlier with the kids; how can this happen so quickly?" I don't understand.

"It's common, and it's usually the persons' way of moving towards death, rather than away from it, Stella," Damien informs me sympathetically. "I'll stay and keep monitoring her, but you should prepare the children." His weathered face is sad and despairing.

I stand there, unable to move. I knew this was coming, but I had a small sense of hope that she would last a little longer especially seeing her so happy the last couple of days.

"We need to say our goodbyes, and then we need to wake the kids up," JP says, almost robotically. He's trying to stay strong, but I know he's struggling, having gone through this with his mom.

I follow him towards Melanie and try to prepare myself as much as I can mentally. Dot squeezes my hand as I walk by, quietly crying as she moves away. JP sits on the side of the bed and strokes Melanie's face gently.

Her eyes slowly flutter open; her breathing is quick and shallow. She looks at him and smiles weakly. "Handsome as always." Her voice is raspy. I sit on the other side and hold her hand. She moves her head slowly towards me. "There's my girl."

I clench my jaw to keep from crying. My eyes burn with the tears that are building, and my vision blurs. She attempts to squeeze my hand, but there's no strength behind it. "It's okay. It's okay...I will be with my Tobias soon." She rasps. "I've missed him so much, every day, and now we'll be together again." She inhales deeply and softly moans as a tear falls, and JP gently wipes it away from her face.

"Tell little Toby about me. He won't remember me like his brother and sisters."

"I will tell him every day; I love you, Melanie." JP's voice shakes at the end.

"Please don't be sad; the kids need you both strong. Please..."

I nod, wiping my face quickly. "I love you, Mel."

"I love you both, thank you...thank you so much." She inhales deeply.

Enzo leaves the room after JP tells him to get the kids.

"Family is what matters. More than anything. This family." She tries to pull my hand towards JP's, and we hold hands as she places hers over ours. "You are both so strong, you've been through so much, and you can do this."

I look up when Marco rushes into the room, carrying Lola, who's still trying to wake up. "Mamma," Marco's voice cracks with emotion, and his eyes are wide.

Carmen comes in behind him, but she takes two steps back when she sees Melanie. Her hands are shaking, and her chin trembles. JP moves so Marco can sit with his mom. I stand, too, and move to the end of the bed.

I motion for Carmen to come closer, but she doesn't move; she seems paralyzed near the door. I look back as Melanie lifts her hand weakly, and Marco lifts it to his face, holding her hand in place. She speaks to him quietly, and he nods his head; my heart clenches as he sobs.

Silent tears fall on Lola's face as she watches her mom, the corners of her mouth drawn down. She crawls up carefully next to her and lays her head on Melanie's chest. Melanie speaks to her softly, and Lola moves her face towards her mom's neck and hugs her.

Melanie calls out for Carmen faintly. JP walks over to her and talks to her, but she keeps shaking her head at him.

I walk over to where they are and hug Carmen, then bend down to look at her. "I know you're scared, Carmen. And you're sad and mad, but your mamma needs you, right now." I place my arm around her and guide her towards Melanie.

"I can't," Carmen whispers to me.

"I'll be right there with you, Car." I move her to the other side, and she sits carefully on the bed.

"Carmen, I love you, Cacciola. You are brave, and you are strong. You can do anything," Melanie rasps; her breathing is even more labored now. "Take care of each other."

My mom rushes in, in her robe carrying Toby; Adonis follows her in. He must have woken her up to say goodbye. She walks over, holds Mel's hand, and then places a sleepy Toby on Melanie, and he snuggles up to her.

My mom tells Mel she loves her; Mel says the same and thanks her for helping her with the kids. Then, my mom moves away and comes to stand with me, and holds my hand.

Santino walks in along with Kai, Miles, and Lucy. They stand in the back, being respectful of Melanie's short time with her kids, and the time goes by as the kids sit there with their mom quietly.

Melanie suddenly begins gasping for air and makes a gurgling sound like she's choking. Lola sits up, backing away, her eyes wide and JP moves quickly, picking Lola up, while Marco grabs Toby. Melanie quiets down, and Damien places the other end of his stethoscope on her chest.

My breath hitches when Damien looks at JP and shakes his head, and then the machine reading her heart rate makes a loud, long beeping sound.

Carmen screams for her mom and then lays over her, sobbing. I cover my mouth to keep my own choked cries in. Marco holds Melanie's other hand, his body shaking with his loud, anguished wails. My mom grabs Toby from Marco and takes him out of the room as he begins crying, confused at what is happening around him; Marco falls to his knees, still holding on to Melanie's hand. Lola whimpers, holding onto JP's neck tightly.

After some time, JP asks Santino to help Marco. Santino walks up behind Marco, placing his hand on his shoulder, and pulls Marco to stand, but he cries on Santino. Enzo moves in to help Santino because Marco is having a hard time walking on his own.

JP talks quietly with Damien and Dot before looking back at me. I know he's going to take Lola to bed; his eyes move to Carmen, who's still sobbing, on Melanie. I nod, knowing he wants me to help her and move towards her; I try to coax her gently to let go of Melanie, but she doesn't want to leave her mom.

Lucy walks over, wiping her tears, and looks at me, silently asking if she can help. I nod, wiping my face. Lucy sits down next to Carmen and rubs her arm softly.

Carmen's face is red and blotchy from all her crying, and her nose is running. Lucy talks to her quietly, and after a few more minutes, Carmen moves away slowly and looks at her mom before kissing her cheek softly.

Carmen hugs Lucy while she cries on her; Lucy rocks her gently, talks soothingly to her, and then stands, but Lucy struggles to keep Carmen upright, her body limp and heavy on Lucy.

I rush to help lift her, but Kai and Miles both move in to help. Miles lifts Carmen into his arms and carries her out as she continues her soft sobs. Kai and Lucy follow behind.

"She's no longer in pain, Stella," Dot tells me as she wipes her eyes and then hugs me.

"I know, but it still hurts." I cry on her shoulder. I look at Melanie one last time before we head out of the room as well.

<><><><>

The days leading up to the funeral today are a blur. Everyone was going through the motions of completing daily tasks each day, while grief took hold of each one of us differently.

JP seems to hold it together better than the rest of us, keeping his promise to be strong. But, perhaps he felt he had to keep it together for the both of us because I couldn't stop the tears from free falling, constantly and intermittently.

The waves of grief pound into me randomly. Leaving me feeling drained and anxious for when the next wave would hit.

Sean has been over each day, being supportive and helping out when and where he can, but I know it's not a comfortable situation for him considering the dynamics of how things are done and ran, with JP in charge. But I thank him each day for his support and willingness to be here for me.

Joey and Annalisa came home as soon as they could and arrived yesterday evening. Annalisa is helping Lucy get Carmen dressed and ready for the funeral. Carmen hasn't spoken much since Melanie passed.

Samantha, who flew back when she heard, is in my room helping me get Lola ready, and my mom is getting little Toby dressed.

Toby still doesn't understand that Melanie is gone and asks for her each day. He's been extremely clingy with JP and even with Kai, and he cries a lot when it's time for bedtime.

Marco has also been reclusive, spending most of his time in his room alone, and when he does come out, he's usually staring off, not engaging with anyone.

But the other day, he did ask Samantha for a favor to cut his hair for the funeral; I haven't seen him today, so I'm curious how he'll look.

As he walks in, Sean knocks on my door, letting us know that they're loading the cars to head for the viewing. Lola holds mine and Sam's hands as we follow Sean out. The halls, which are usually busy with people coming and going, are empty and quiet.

After I buckle Lola in her car seat, Marco joins us with Toby. I see he had Samantha dye his hair back to its dark brown color and cut the length down, but still sports a faux hawk style of cut.

JP sits in front while Adonis drives. I glance behind us and see Miles and Kai get in the same car as Sean and Sam, with Enzo, Joey, and Annalisa.

The drive is quiet, except for Toby, playing quietly with some toy cars he brought with him. Carmen lays her head on Lucy, and Marco leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and keeps his head in his hands. He wipes at his face now and then; I watch as Lucy tentatively reaches over to rub his back softly, in comfort.

JP wanted to keep the viewing short for the sake of the kids. When my mom carried Toby up to Melanie, he laid his hand over hers. We knew at that moment, he understood a little better, that she was gone.

After about forty-five minutes, we get back in the cars and caravan to the gravesite, following behind the hurst. I recognized the drive and realized Melanie would be buried in the same cemetery as my parents, Dominic and Serena.

As we pull up, I notice all the security detail positioned strategically at the entrance and then the perimeter of the cemetery itself.

"Everyone's in place, Capo," Adonis informs JP.

When I step out of the car, my eyes scan over the land, and I find where my parents' tombstones are. It's been years since I've visited them. Enzo comes over and wraps his arm around my shoulders, kissing my head. "If you want to go visit them before we begin, you can."

I shake my head and tell him I'll wait for another day. We head towards the sitting area, and I see the tombstone with Tobias' name next to where we will lay Melanie to rest.

I watch as Adonis, Joey, Topo, Cristian, Santino, Enzo, Marco, and JP carry Melanie's casket to the plot. Marco's sobs tear through me as he struggles to move in sync with the others.

I vaguely hear the words of the pastor who spoke. Then, my mind floated back to my dad-Dominic's funeral and my mom-Serena's funeral when I was Carmen's age. I look over at her, and her eyes are unfocused and glazed over as she looks at the casket.

The priest finishes, then JP stands to give a eulogy in honor of Melanie. He thanks everyone who is there for attending. He shares a few things about Melanie's life and how she always spoke about how being a mother was her calling in life.

She lived each day to be around her kids and even made him feel like he was part of their family whenever Tobias took him to visit or have dinner with them. JP shares that Tobias and Melanie had a love that people search their whole lives for, and he knows that Tobias and Melanie are together again and will both be watching over their kids. He pauses, and he swallows hard, trying to maintain control.

"We love and miss you, Mel. Rest in Peace."

JP clears his throat as he addresses us again, "I've asked a family friend, Lucia Moreno, to favor us with a song that became one of Mel's favorite songs after we lost Tobias. She said it gave her peace, and I hope it can give us the same now."

I look over at Lucy as she stands; I didn't know she was even doing this. She nods and smiles softly at JP as he walks past her; she sets up a Bluetooth speaker and then pulls her phone out, looks up, and waits as the music begins.

The words are beautiful and full of emotion, and I can see why Melanie loved it; I imagine JP wanted it to be Melanie's way of telling her kids she will always be by their side. Marco holds Carmen's and Lola's hands on either side of him as they listen to Lucy sing the song.

Afterward, a few people come to offer their condolences to the kids before picking up dirt and tossing it on the casket, taking a moment to say a final goodbye.

Sean tells me he'll check on me later at the house as I sit with Lola before he leaves. I watch as my mom walks over to the casket and crouches down, touching the coffin. She stands and gives me a small smile before she walks away, but I notice she isn't going back to the car and walks a little way before she stands in front of another tombstone. That must be where Timo was laid to rest.

Lola sniffles, bring my attention back to her, and I ask if she wants to say goodbye, and she nods. I pick up some of the dirt near the casket and let it fall out of my hand over the casket, telling Melanie goodbye as it falls.

Lola bends down and picks up some dirt too and sprinkles it on the casket. "Goodbye, mamma. I love you," Her chin quivers. "Tell daddy I say hi, and I love him, too." She turns sobbing into my legs, and I pick her up, holding her tight. JP walks up to us, and I give him space to say his goodbye.

I watch as he picks up the dirt and lets it fall out of his fingers. He crouches down and puts his hand on the casket. After a few minutes, he stands and lifts his glasses, wiping his face. Lola asks me to put her down so she can hug JP.

She runs over to him and holds on to his leg; he picks her up, hugging her, and talks to her quietly.

I walk ahead to give them space, but I sense that he quickly catches up to me with his long stride. He places his hand on the small of my back as we head towards the car. The gesture is small but provides a comforting and soothing warmth over me in that moment of grief and sorrow, telling me he's there.

I lean into his side and wrap my arm around his waist, hoping he knows I'm there for him, too.

~~~~~

This chapter was rough to write :'( Cancer sucks!!