01 - Love Me the Way You Love Her.

✶ CHAPTER 01 - QIBLI ✶

Qibli remembered the first time he saw Prince Winter.

It was a windy day in the Ice Kingdom, and it was Qibli's first arrival to the frozen kingdom. Upon entering the doors, he was greeted by guards with spears clasped in their hands. Then, his eyes landed on the most beautiful boy he had ever seen- the prince. He wore a black trench coat with fur lining, and a fur ushanka that sat upon his blond hair. It was a casual outfit, and Qibli felt better with himself that he hadn't dressed too fancy either.

The prince's eyes immediately met Qibli's. He found it hard to concentrate on the conversation around him when those gorgeous, stormy-blue eyes were staring at him. And then, after he had introduced himself, Winter had avoided eye-contact with Qibli. It was strange.

Queen Glacier had brought them to a quiet, rather cold room. It seemed to be some sort of sunroom, just without the sun. They were sheltered, yes, but there was no insulation or anything that could deter them from the harsh temperatures outside. As the group ate, Queen Glacier and Queen Thorn discussed the usual diplomatic talk. The atmosphere was casual and kind, and every now and then the queens would slip into casual conversation about their lives.

Qibli had been finishing his plate of fish (which was thankfully not raw, but was hastily cooked), when Prince Winter left his seat and sat down next to Qibli. He offered him a drink, and began to chat.

"So," Winter started, sipping his own glass. "What do you think of the Ice Kingdom?"

Qibli had thought for a moment, tapping his glass in thought. "Well, it certainly is beautiful," he mused, gazing out the windows to the snowy landscape. The sun was starting to shine through the clouds, causing the snow to glimmer with colour, like little shards of opal were sprinkled across the white. "The palace is amazing. I'm stunned over all the little details, you guys are so fancy." He smiled, hoping that Winter would take his joke. And to his relief, the prince gave a huff of laughter.

"How are you handling the temperature?" Winter asked. He tipped his head towards him, which was enough to make Qibli nervous. "I can see that you're cold. You've been shivering the entire time."

"And," Winter continued, reaching out to brush his fingers over his bare arm. Qibli could feel the heat radiating from his skin. "You've got goosebumps."

They were close. Qibli found it hard to breathe. He wasn't sure why. Before he could respond, Winter shrugged off his thick coat and wrapped it over Qibli's shoulders. "Here."

He was surprised into meeting Winter's gaze. "Oh," was all he could say for a while, then finally, he managed a, "Thank you. You didn't have to."

Winter smiled. "It's no big deal."

Ever since that day, Qibli's mind was always on Prince Winter. After enough meetings and parties and get-togethers, Qibli saw Winter more and more often. Each time he saw him, his fantasies only got more frequent.

Qibli remembered how one night, he awoke covered in sweat, disoriented, and frantically trying to brush off his dream. The memories of it lingered in his mind for weeks. Winter's hands trailing down his body, lips against his skin, the thrill burning hotly in his stomach.

And at the same time, Qibli would also awake from nightmares. The cold weight of a gun sitting heavily in his grasp, the muzzle pointed to Winter's temple, as the prince sobbed and begged for his life. Sometimes in his nightmares, Qibli would spare him. Sometimes, he wasn't so fortunate. The bang of the gun would remain in his head in the waking hours, haunting him.

It really made him feel like some sort of madman. An insane, creepy guy who has dreams about murdering an innocent man, who he was in love with.

What was wrong with him? How could he ever love Winter, but think about killing him?

His mother must have really drilled that shit into his brain.

⋆ ☆ ⋆

Qibli straightened out his suit, tugging at the collar and brushing over the folds of the fabric. He slipped some leather gloves over his hands, pausing in the mirror to reflect upon his outfit. He had bought a new suit, a new jacket, and washed his hair thoroughly. Qibli hoped that would be fancy enough for the dinner that night. He clipped his earring into his ear, watching the amber colour glow as it caught the light.

Outside the door, Thorn was grabbing her belongings and was in quite the hurry. Qibli had no time to fuss over the fact of whether he looked good enough for Winter or not. 

He hurried out the door alongside his mother. She wore a flowy dress, golden necklaces, earrings, and rings. The Eye Of Onyx bounced against her chest and the golden dragon band wrapped around her tattooed arm. Thorn's heels clicked on the pavement, the only sound in the silence as they hurried towards their caravan.

Horses and even some camels, awaited them. Sunny, Six, and Kindle were already there. Qibli knew that Sunny disliked the formalities of all the meetings and parties, but she loved to visit the Ice Kingdom. She was also too nice to say no.

Sunny was waiting on a horse, while Six and Kindle were on their own horse. Thorn and Qibli joined Sunny, and they set off towards the snowy kingdom.

⋆ ☆ ⋆

At the dinner, Qibli's gaze strayed from Thorn, and away from the current conversation that he was supposed to be engaged in. Qibli's eyes landed on a faraway silhouette, the outline of someone that Qibli could never stop dreaming about. He walked across the room, sweeping majestically through with his chin held high, dressed in the finest clothing one could imagine. Qibli watched Prince Winter from across the room, his gaze lost in the fine details of the prince's appearance.

Next to Winter, holding his hand, was a beautiful girl who wore a luxury fur boa around her neck. He watched quietly as they sat down at the table, Winter pressing an affectionately gentle kiss to her cheek.  The girl smiled and returned the gesture before she took a wine glass and beckoned the bartender over.

Huh. A girlfriend.

He frowned. How long has this been going on?

Qibli swallowed his jealousy. But he still couldn't stop his imagination from wishing that he was the one who Winter kissed and admired. He let himself relish in this idea, imagining the gentle touch of Winter's hands on his hips, his lips brushing against his skin, his breath against his neck-

Qibli brushed away the thoughts. That was enough fantasizing. He watched Winter take a sip of wine, holding the glass with such poise that it drove Qibli insane. How perfect did he have to be?

But, he had to admit, he loved the way that Winter was. Every bit of it.

I can love you more than her, Qibli thought, his bitter, dark jealousy returning to the front of his mind. I bet she doesn't love you like the way I do.

The boy watched the pair like a hawk, fixated on every move and what each action meant. He searched for any sign of Winter disliking her, or her disliking him. He wondered if Winter knew what Qibli felt. Could he find any sign of that?

Well, if he doesn't know how I feel about him, I can show him.

Qibli leaned forward slightly. It was time to start something, like lighting a match to ignite a raging fire. "Excuse me, Prince Winter, may you pass me a glass?"

The prince turned his head, meeting Qibli's gaze from across the table. As he moved, the shadows on his face changed as the candle lit his face at a new angle. Winter nodded and passed Qibli a shiny glass, and Qibli took it, but he, of course, didn't just settle at that.

He took the cup in his grasp, his fingers not-subtly brushing against Winter's. Qibli had to hide the pleased smile that was about to appear on his face. "Thank you, Your Royal Highness," he thanked, tone soft and elegant, as if he were trying to convince the other boy of his innocence.

Winter simply nodded, his expression guarded like steel. He turned to his girlfriend to continue the conversation that Qibli had interrupted. Qibli was aware of this.

Qibli grabbed a wine bottle from the table and poured it into his glass. Wine was not something he drank often, but he did not mind the taste. He took a sip, tilting his head over to Thorn. She was busy talking with Smolder. Qibli pretended to be listening to them, but in reality, he was drifting away into his recurring fantasies of the stoic Prince Winter.

In the corner of his eyes, his attention landed on the girl. He watched as Winter laughed with her, their arms intertwined, faces close together as they talked.

Would Winter ever hold me like that?

He returned his gaze to Thorn again, sipping idly on his wine, not even tasting it. Qibli could still feel Winter's lingering touch from where their fingers had brushed. He couldn't stop focusing on it.

He wished that he was in the girl's place.

Maybe I could--

No.

Don't think that.

She may be in my way, but I can't do that. I told myself that I would never do it again.

Qibli went back to the world around him, his attention taken by Thorn shifting in her seat beside him. She had moved her chair over to make room for the newcomers, who Qibli watched as they entered the room. The candlelight illuminated the shadows of their faces. A man and a woman, arm in arm, walking towards them. Their footsteps clicked through the air.

Tundra and Narwhal. Winter's parents.

Qibli felt a heavy weight in his gut. Cobra had told him that they didn't know the names of the assassins that they were hiring, so Qibli was anonymous. But even so, he still feared that they would know who he was.

Tundra sat down next to Queens Glacier and Blaze, followed by Narwhal, and they exchanged polite conversation with the other royals. Qibli noticed the uncomfort in Winter's expression as soon as his parents walked in.

Qibli's heart ached for the prince. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Winter to shield him from the gloominess of his parents, to make the boy feel happy again. He desperately wanted to see the smile return to Winter's soft lips. The frown made his heart hurt.

Winter cleared his throat, averting his gaze from his parents. "Prince Qibli," he started. "I don't believe you and Lynx have formally met yet."

Qibli tipped his head at his girlfriend, Lynx, and nodded with a polite smile. "Why, I don't think we have," he agreed. "Prince Qibli," he introduced, meeting Lynx's gaze.

Lynx extended a gloved hand. Qibli took it and shook. "Princess Lynx," she introduced formally. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Prince Qibli."

'Princess', Qibli realized with a jolt. They're engaged, then. She's his fiancée.

He nodded. "You as well," he replied, taking a sip of his drink. All he could focus on was the fact that Lynx was Winter's fiancée. His heart ached painfully in his chest, accompanied by a twist of jealousy, making his drink taste sour in his throat.

"We got engaged a week ago," Winter said, extending his hand to Qibli, showing off a ring that sparkled in the warm light. "It's unfortunate that you missed it, Qibli. I would have loved to have my dearest friend by my side."

His heart melted. Qibli let Winter's words wrap around him for a moment like a cozy blanket, shielding him from the harsh truth. 

There was a strange emotion that formed on Winter's face for a split second. Was Qibli still wrapped up in his fantasies, or was that a hint from Winter? A hint that he loved him?

But it was soon gone, and Qibli was back to feeling his bitter mix of jealousy and rage. He kept the plastered smile on his face, gazing at Winter. "It is unfortunate," he agreed, smoothing his voice over to keep the true feelings from pouring out his throat. "I would have loved to be there. Maybe I'll attend your wedding?"

Winter laughed, a beautiful sound that Qibli adored. For a moment, he was able to pretend that it was just them, and nobody else. Just like they used to, when they first met. Up on the rooftops, watching the snowflakes drift from the clouds, laughing and talking the night away.

He became suddenly aware of himself, and how his expression had begun to soften with admiration as he was swept away in fond memories. Qibli regained his proper composure, hoping that Winter hadn't seen too much. But at the same time, he hoped that Winter saw everything-- even the bitterness, the obsession-- and knew how Qibli would do anything for him.

The waiters came by with trays of food, setting the platters down on the tablecloth. The table of royals thanked them, and soon began to eat. They settled into casual conversation (well, as casual it can be with a whole bunch of people who are trying to act more dignified than they really are) and the dinner ended after an hour or so.

The next two hours carried on slowly. Qibli was now standing off to the side, talking to Winter and Lynx. 

"Well, I have to leave," Lynx announced, her eyes shining with a new emotion-- excitement? "See you later, Winter. Nice meeting you, Qibli."

Qibli nodded, not offering to shake hands with her. He was glad when she did not offer to shake hands either. "Nice to meet you as well, Lynx. Take care."

She gave him a curt nod, and strode off into the crowd of people. Qibli watched her hurry over to meet a tall girl, who had been at the far end of the table at the dinner. He didn't know her name.

Winter exhaled a content sigh and leaned up against the wall, running his hand through his hair. Qibli turned to look over at him with his lips curved into a smile. "It's just you and I now," Winter said, gazing out at the crowd.

"Mhm," Qibli hummed with a light laugh. He could feel himself relaxing, now that it was just them. Nobody else to interrupt or get in the way. Just the two of them, like it was supposed to be. "So, what now?"

"Dunno," Winter admitted, meeting his gaze. With each passing second, he seemed to unconsciously drift closer to Qibli. Qibli didn't move, wondering how close the two could get before one of them got too nervous.

"Do you want to go outside for a bit? Stare up at the stars like old times?" Qibli offered, his voice softening as he recounted memories. "It's been a while, buddy."

Winter smiled, his eyes glimmering with fondness. "I'd like that."

The other boy extended an arm, and Winter took it. With arms linked together, the two set off through the doors, and out to the cold snowscape. Wind buffeted around them, tousling their hair, and carrying snowflakes through the air to fall on them. The two boys were soon covered in snow, but it didn't deter them. Instead, they ran out into the courtyard, up to the snowy hills to catch a nice view of the sky.

Winter seated himself upon a boulder, wiping off the snow. Qibli sat down next to him, right up against him, sharing body heat. They were still laughing, for no reason but their own stupidity and exhilaration. Qibli leaned his head on Winter's, giggling like an idiot, and pointed up at the sky. "Hey, a shooting star!"

"Wow," Winter said, watching it streak across the sky. Once it disappeared, he pointed up at a swathe of stars, twinkling brightly in the dark sky. "Look, there's the Great Ice Dragon," he said, tracing the outline with his finger. Qibli squinted. "There's the jaws, the snout, horns, and the neck."

"That's so cool," Qibli murmured, surprised that he was able to see it. The stars had always left him, well, starstruck. He was breathtaken whenever he stared up at the endless sea of distant lights in the sky, years and years away. 

They fell into a comforting silence, both equally enamored by the stars. Winter leaned against him and wrapped an arm across his back, warm and supportive. Qibli leaned into his arm, hoping that Winter would take the hint.

Should I tell him? Qibli wondered. Or should I wait longer?

He gave a sideways glance at Winter's face. The prince was still staring up at the sky. Then he cast a look at the ring glowing on Winter's finger. I'll wait. But I still have to drop hints, just so I can kickstart everything. If he even likes me, that is.

Could I make him fall for me? 

I shouldn't do that. But...

No. Don't. This is probably one of your selfish thoughts again, Qibli. Be careful.

He pushed the train of thoughts away with a sigh. Qibli returned his gaze to the dark sky above, acutely aware of Winter turning his head over to him. "What's wrong?"

Qibli shook his head and settled closer to the boy. A shiver passed through him as the wind rushed past, carrying a cloud of snowflakes. "Nothing," he replied, keeping his tone soft and airy, as if he were falling asleep. "Just thinking."

A warm hand rested on his arm, soothing the goosebumps on his skin. Winter leaned closer, lowering his grasp to Qibli's hands. He took his hands in his, sharing body heat. "Do you want to go back soon? I think it's around time for you and the other guests to leave," he said, putting on a pouty frown. Qibli gave an undignified snort. "I'll miss you, Qibli," Winter added, barely audible.

A genuine smile curved on Qibli's lips as he felt his cheeks heat up. He reached up to comb Winter's hair, brushing out the snowflakes that rested precariously upon the strands. "I'll miss you too," he murmured, matching Winter's quiet tone. He lowered his hand from his hair. "Let's go inside."

Winter nodded and stood up, extending a hand for Qibli. He took his hand and got to his feet, lacing their fingers together. They made their way down the snowy slopes, hand in hand. Once in the courtyard, the boys ran into the palace, kicking up snow in their wake. When they were inside, they unlinked hands and hung out together at the walls, away from the crowd.

In around ten minutes, the guests were saying their goodbyes. Six, Kindle, Sunny, and Thorn were at the doors, about to leave, waiting for Qibli. He huffed and turned to his friend.

"Goodbye, Prince Winter," Qibli murmured, taking his hand in his and placing a tender kiss upon it. An unspoken oath of loyalty. "See you some other time."

Winter blinked, his mouth slightly agape in surprise. "Goodbye."

Qibli smiled, stepped back, and let the door shut. In the ballroom, the five guests went to grab their belongings that were stashed in the closet for safekeeping.

"What are you doing?" Hissed Thorn once they were out of sight. 

"What?" Qibli asked innocently, slipping his jacket over his arms.

"You're flirting with someone who is engaged!"

"No I'm not!" Qibli gasped, pretending to be offended, but poorly enough to show Thorn that he was being sarcastic. "Why would I do such a thing?"

Thorn rolled her eyes. "Stop that, I know you're being a shithead," she scolded. "Qibli, be serious. You can't do that."

Qibli rolled his eyes back at her. "Why not?" He questioned, crossing his arms. "I've been friends with Winter way before he got engaged."

"I get that you two are close, but you've been friends for three months, Qibli," she pointed out. "I bet they've been dating for much longer."

"No, they haven't," Qibli corrected, getting defensive. "He would have told me."

Thorn huffed, rolling her eyes a second time. "He's engaged either way."

"I'm aware," he hissed glumly, knowing that his displeasure was written all over his face. Thorn knew how angry he was over it. 

Thorn gave him a disapproving stare, her eyebrows arched indicantly. "Qibli," she said in a warning tone, as if she were scolding a misbehaving child. "Don't you dare do anything stupid."

Too late for that, Qibli thought, and nearly laughed aloud. You have no idea what I have done, Thorn. 

"Don't worry," he said, unconvincingly. "I'll be fine."

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