I looked at the text I sent everyone that I loved.

Gosh, it was as if I was going to die. I hope they wouldn't worry. Gusto ko lang naman sabihin sa kanila na mahal ko sila, just in case hindi ako makalabas ng buhay dito. Yeah, I think I'm being a tad bit exaggerated. But this is my first time going into a cave!

Finally, I opened a new message and put in Oliver's name sa recipient.

I'm sorry, I typed in. I don't know if I'm going to live through what I'm about to do. But if ever I don't, I just wanted you to know that despite everything that happened between us... I'm still glad I met you. Goodbye, Ollie.

Sent.

Huminga ako ng malalim and closed my eyes. Wow. After trying to avoid him for over a year, ito yung ite-text ko sa kanya bigla. I wanted to laugh at what he probably thought. Maybe he wouldn't care. He'll probably just accept it like he does with everything else.

After gathering up every ounce of courage that I had in me, I finally followed the others into the Lumiang Cave and had the adventure I always craved but too scared to try.

And if I survive this, I'll be a new me.

Five hours later...

I was grinning ear to ear. Sobrang saya ko because I just survived spelunking. It was an amazing feeling, like I could do anything!

Gosh, I couldn't stop smiling pa rin. Is this why people do extreme sports? Nakaka-high yung feeling ng rush. I feel like I'm seventeen again in Oliver's car along Largo Ave.

I wanted more. Maybe this kind of adventure was what I needed all along.

"Gel, gusto mo yung classic honey, 'di ba?" asked a female voice.

I was yanked out of my thoughts when my new friend Vanna spoke to me.

Currently, I'm hanging out with the other travelers dito sa yoghurt house in Sagada. I made new friends and they're unbelievably awesome. A few of them were even backpackers with so many stories to tell. Masyado bang halata na ako yung number one listener nila?

"Yes, please," I told Vanna, beaming.

Truth be told, if it wasn't for her, I'd be sitting on my bed back at the inn and reading a book. Since she was also a solo traveler kasi, we were roomed together sa tour.

I was scared beyond my wits sa thought na I'd be sharing a room with a stranger but she warmed up to me quick. She was so pretty and so athletic, loved both taekwondo and make-up.

She wasn't pushy to get me out of the room. She just gave me a short speech about living the life I'd only read about. So I thought, why not? This is the point of me going here, anyway.

I wanted to break out of my shell.

The girls from the table next to us started giggling na napatingin ako. They were leaning towards each other and whispering.

My eyes traveled around the restaurant and I stiffened when I caught sight of a familiar face, who was scanning the room as if he was looking for someone.

What in the world was he doing here?!

His black hair was in disarray, as if his fingers went through them many times. He was wearing an oversized gray sweatshirt that made him look like the main lead from a Kdrama, which explained why the girls were giggling.

Wait, something was different. He was panting, na para bang hinihingal siya. His cheeks were also flushed. And despite the cold weather here, he was sweating.

I frowned and shook my head. No, I shouldn't care.

I was about to turn away and hide my face when his eyes landed on me. Oh, no. My heart started beating faster. Oh, no. Eyes only on me, he walked to where I was and kneeled down in front of me. Letting out a sigh of relief, his hand reached out and stroked my cheek.

"Here you are," he whispered, with a smile.

I blinked. I still couldn't believe that he was here in Sagada.

"About that text..."

Oh, my gosh. Was he here because of that text? "I meant it," I told him quickly, before he could say more. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be," he said softly. "It was my fault."

I bit my lip, hesitating. But then, I'm a new me na, 'di ba? Dapat I'm able to speak what's on my mind without having to worry and overthink afterwards.

"I don't regret it, though," I admitted.

He sighed, nodding. "Neither do I."

I stared at him. "What are you doing here, Ollie?"

"Yung text mo..." he trailed off, frowning. "You fucking scared me."

My jaw almost dropped. Wow, I scared him? Did he really drive up here dahil lang dun sa text? Gah, I shook my head to get rid of hopeful thoughts.

"Nagpunta ka dito because of that?"

He didn't answer right away. He looked like he was hesitating. Through the years, that was one of the expressions na parati kong nakikita sa kanya whenever we were together. He was always hesitating. Nakaka-frustrate din pala once you know the reason behind it.

"You had me worried," he finally said.

"Did Kuya tell you to come find me?" But as I was asking him that, I knew Jesse would've come here himself instead of asking somebody else to do it.

"No, it's just..." Oliver looked away, licking his lips before meeting my eyes again. "I just had to make sure you're okay, Angel."

'Angel.'

I felt like melting sa floor... Wait, no!

Geez, Angelica. Hanggang ngayon ba naman, you're still holding a flame to Oliver? Ang rupok mo talaga. Kill that hope. 'Wag umasa.

"Dahil dun lang ba?" I asked him.

He stared at me for a long time, as if making a decision within himself. Then, finally he nodded. "Yeah, I took it upon myself to check kung –"

"Buhay pa ko," I interjected, not able to hide the bite in my tone.

"– okay ka lang."

I rubbed my face with a hand, and let out a sigh.

He was just worried like everybody else. I shouldn't hold it against him just because he didn't do or say what I expected him to. That would be unfair.

"Thanks for worrying, but I'm really okay." I gave him a sheepish look, shrugging. "I only needed to unwind and this was the perfect place to run away to."

I thought he'd be relieved, but he only looked more concerned.

"Why do you want to run away?" he asked, studying me with those piercing eyes of his. "May problema ka ba?"

"I'm sorry if I can't confide in you, Oliver." My heart was beating fast as I rejected him for the first time in forever. But kaya ko 'to. "I know you understand," I added.

We used to share secrets, blurt out whatever was on our minds, admit our worries, and just be there for one another – kahit na kaming dalawa lang ang nakakaalam ng pagka-deep ng friendship namin. But now? Wala na e.

Everything's changed.

"I get it." Nodding, he looked away but not before I caught a glimpse of the sad look on his face. "I'll be around the village lang. Might as well unwind na din while I'm here. Just let me know if you wanna go back to the city. We'll go home together."

He started to get up to leave, but I grabbed his arm.

"I already paid for my ride back."

"I'd rather have you in my car for ten hours before you go back to ignoring me."

"I don't ignore you," I argued. I was pretty civil around him kaya, especially in front of our friends. "I talk to you naman ah."

"Yeah, you talk to me just enough para walang makapansin sa group na you're literally staying away from me."

I didn't deny it.

"Let me take you home," he begged.

He just... Did Oliver just... beg? I never once saw him do that, never expected it. He was never someone who would insist, who would plead. Did I happen to stumble into an alternative universe paglabas ko ng cave?

"Please, Angel."

I mean, how on earth would I be able to resist that?

"Alright," I gave in. Ang rupok ko talaga. "No talking about the past, though."

"I promise."

"Then, it's a deal."

"Good," he sighed, looking relieved. Then without warning, he leaned closer and kissed my forehead. "I missed you, Angel," he added in a whisper.

Before I could react, he stepped back and headed out without looking back.

_____________

Yes, she was Ansel's Vanna.