I broke Matrix's heart.

I hated breaking someone's heart. Lalo na't I know the feeling. God knew how much I wished na I reciprocated his feelings.

I tried. I really did.

Matrix and I started out as movie buddies late last year, and we got closer as time passed by. Hanggang sa he asked me out on a legit date. I had no reason to say no, so I said yes. It wasn't long before we became official.

Jesse was furious, though. But he knew naman na good guy talaga si Matrix, kaya he got over it eventually. And I was happy. Genuinely.

Pero wala talaga e. The feelings just weren't there. For some reason, my happiness only reached the surface. It's not the kind of joy na right down to the core. It's sad to admit, but I felt like I was hanging out with a good friend rather than my boyfriend.

So I ended it.

Nakakainis. Nakaka-frustrate. Nakakaiyak.

Why couldn't I just get over someone who clearly didn't want me? No matter what I do... No matter who I date... I still can't get over him.

It's all Oliver's fault.

Kaya for tonight, nagpapakawala (nagpapakawasak) ako. I don't wanna think about my stupid boy problems. I don't wanna think about anything other than to have fun.

"What are you doing?"

Ah, the object of my despair is here. Anong ginagawa niya dito? Gosh, even if blurry yung tingin ko sa kanya, ang gwapo pa ri – NO! Not going there!

"Dancing," I replied, as I twirled and laughed even though all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.

"You're drunk." He sounded mad.

I snorted. "Obviously."

He took a deep breath, and said, "I'll take you home."

"Why?"

"Wasted ka na."

"So?" I challenged him. "You're not the boss of me, Ollie." I turned my back on him and grabbed a random guy. "Take me away from that chinito. Sinisira niya yung fun e."

The dude grinned. "Narinig mo siya, 'tol. Nage-enjoy pa siya dito."

Oliver didn't say anything. He looked really scary, though, like that time on my birthday. Ah, that same birthday he swore to Jesse na he'd never make a move on me. Ang saya.

His eyes stayed on me for what felt like forever, before he nodded and finally backed off. I thought he left na so I whooped, ignoring the sting inside – ignoring the tears that were daring to fall. I was here to have fun, so I was going to have fun dammit!

For the first time in my life, I went dirty dancing with someone I barely knew. I danced and maybe twerked (even though I didn't know how), letting it all go.

I broke someone's heart. Maybe I'd feel better if I destroyed myself.

Suddenly, there was a soft whisper in my ear.

"You've had your fun. Let's go, Angel."

I ignored the goosebumps I felt on the back of my neck. I turned around and saw the way Oliver's eyes burned hot, na para bang pinipigilan niya ang sarili niya. From what, though? He doesn't look like his normal gentle self.

Ooh, mukha siyang drunk. Like meee!

"Ayoko pang umuwi, Ollie," I whined, pouting as I looked up at him through my lashes and used my infamous paawa look that always got Jesse giving in.

He leaned closer until his lips were right beside my ear. "Don't test me."

"Why not?" I dared.

We stayed that way for a while, the guy who was dancing with me was long forgotten and probably left na. Until another song started playing. This time, it was an RnB song.

Oliver's head lowered until his lips touched the skin of my neck, making me shudder.

"'Cause I'm so fucking close to giving in."

I stiffened, feeling his warm breath against my skin.

"So give in," I whispered, urging him.

"You'll regret it." His lips traveled up to my jawline in little kisses, and it took all of me not to moan. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

My eyes closed, and I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips when his kisses reached the sensitive spot below my ear.

"Oliver..."

He abruptly stopped.

No, no, no. Don't be sober yet. I might not get another chance like this.

I turned my head to face him. He had a deep frown on his face. He looked torn. Getting bolder by the minute, I made the decision for him. I closed our distance and kissed him. He was still for a second, before giving in and kissing me back.

Oh, my gosh. I'm KISSING Oliver Cojuangco!

His lips were soft as they danced with mine. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Then I felt his thumb touch my chin, forcing my lips to open up for him before his tongue dived in and touched mine.

When I moaned, he pulled me closer against him and my arms snaked around his neck – leaving no gaps between us. Gosh, I loved the feel of his body.

"Not here," he whispered, suddenly pulling away.

I was dazed as I tried to catch my breath.

He took deep breaths while he stared at me as if he was fighting an inner battle in his mind. Eventually, he nodded like he finally made up his mind.

"Bahala na," he said, sabay hila sa kamay ko.

"Okay, bahala na si Batman," I murmured.

Apparently he heard, because there was a small smile on his lips.

We left the bar soon after that. And that night, we did something that will forever change our relationship. Our friendship will never be the same.

I woke up the next morning, feeling sore but unbelievably happy. Last night, something happened na never kong inakalang mangyayari in a million years. But it did. Gosh, it did. This honestly feels like a dream. Is my reality finally better than my dreams?

Smiling, I looked around the room and saw Oliver sitting topless at the edge of the bed. I sat up and was about to greet him a good morning when he spoke first.

"Hindi ka na virgin," he said quietly.

I froze for a moment, then sighed. I knew that decision two years ago would eventually come back and haunt me.

"Yeah," I confirmed in my little voice.

The muscles on his back clenched. "Sino first mo?" he asked, his voice hinted anger that made me taken aback.

"Um, si Michael."

At that, he faced me and there was a frown on his face. "Michael, the dude who was your first boyfriend and broke your heart?"

I nodded, speechless at Oliver's angry face. Anong problema niya?

"Why?" he asked.

Because I heard you and Jesse talking about me. And you said that I had no chance sayo. At all. 'Di mo 'ko type, you said. I was only a little sister to you, you said.

I was so angry and embarrassed. I thought waiting for you to be my first was a lost cause. So I got rid of the burden of my virginity and got it over with.

It was childish, pero ano pang magagawa ko? It was already done.

Instead of telling him that, though, I brought the question back to him.

"Bakit galit ka?" I retorted, getting angry na din. "You shouldn't have to be worried. At least, you wouldn't be guilty about last night."

I stomped off the bed and started to gather my dress. I didn't get why he was so angry. So I'm not a virgin anymore, so what?

"You don't understand," he groaned.

"Then, please explain it to me."

He stood up and rounded on me. "You're Jesse's sister."

"And that's all I am to you, right?"

"That's all you should be to me. Nothing should happen between us."

"Something already did," I pointed out, putting on my dress and zipping myself up.

"It was a mistake."

I took a step back, looked down, and nodded. And to think, I honestly thought he'd never hurt me more than he already did once before.

"I'm sorry." When our eyes met again, I hardened my face. "But I don't regret it."

"Angel, I don't want to hurt you," he said in the quietest voice.

He said the exact same thing last night. Guess I should've listened. Wala, nadala ako sa moment. Si Ollie yan e. Everybody has a soft spot for him. He's the perfect guy, after all.

"You don't want to break my brother's heart, but you're willing to break mine."

His eyes widened as he shook his head. "That's not –"

"It's exactly like that." I laughed humorlessly. "Don't worry, Ollie. I'll keep my mouth shut about what happened here. Your friendship with my precious brother is still very much intact. Our friendship, though?" I smiled, shaking my head. "Were we even really friends? Or have I only been Jesse's little sister to you?"

Suddenly, Oliver looked pissed again. His jaw clenched, before saying, "You know you mean more to me than just a friend. But – fuck, you're also my best friend's sister."

A cruel smile made its way to my lips. "Now I'm nothing but a one-night-stand."

"Angel..."

"Bye, Oliver."

And with that, I left.

I held back my tears until I was safely in the elevator. By the time I reached the lobby, I was a blubbering mess.

Oliver just broke my heart all over again.