over the course of the four days that sherlock spent in the hospital, he had seven different nurses and two different doctors. he refused treatment unless it was from john and when they paged john to his room, john had to explain that he couldn't have sherlock as a patient because of their relationship. but each time, sherlock made john sit with him as the nurse changed his bandages and checked on his stitches, only getting a few taken out at a time. they gave john off an extra two days since he had worked through what was going on then did his usual shifts as sherlock was recovering.

"it feels good to be home." sherlock said as he relaxed in his bath.

"you're disgusting." john said as he watched sherlock grin. "you refused to bathe for four days! that's absolutely disgusting!" he exclaimed.

"i didn't like those nurses touching me." sherlock said as he looked at john. "i only wanted you."

john smiled. "you still smell horrible by the way, hope you know that."

sherlock laughed softly. "so romantic."

john looked at the inside of sherlock's bicep, looking at the semi healed cut. "when that heals, are you going to get it tattooed over the scar?" he asked.

sherlock looked at his bicep and shrugged. "i'm not sure yet. might not even leave a scar." he said then looked at john. "i want another tattoo." he said as he watched john grab the bar of soap.

"of what?" john asked as he started to wash sherlock, careful of all his sensitive spots.

"i don't know. maybe you could choose it."

john huffed out a laugh. "i'm not good at making decisions." he said as he checked sherlock's stitches, making sure none came loose.

"what if you choose one for me and i choose one for you?" sherlock asked then hissed when john ran over the purple bruise on his side.

"sorry, babe." john said and gave him a kiss.

sherlock let out a small groan and pulled the soap bar out of the boy's hand, putting it to the side. "no more." he said.

"i didn't mean to."

"i know." sherlock said, looking up at john. "i'm not mad either, i just want to relax."

john nodded. "i can leave then."

"you're staying." sherlock said as he grabbed his boyfriend's hand. "i want you here with me."

john smiled down at the detective. "we still have to wash your hair before you get out. i don't want to play with oily, matted hair."

sherlock laughed softly. he took john's hand and kissed his knuckle. "you know i love you, right?"

"i know." john said then leaned over and gave sherlock a kiss. "and i love you." he said then pecked sherlock's lips once again before sitting back on the floor. "what do you want for dinner?" he asked sherlock as he rested against the tub.

"you." sherlock said, earning a small laugh from the boy.

"last time we tried something you ripped out your stitches. and that was two days ago."

sherlock groaned softly. "mmm, fine. then i want sushi, but from that once place with the really good fried rice."

"anything else?" john asked as he took his phone out of his pocket.

sherlock smirked and raised a brow.

"besides me."

sherlock frowned. "some wonton soup."

john got up and kissed sherlock's head. "wash your hair." he told the man child before stepping out of the bathroom.

after sherlock finished the bath, he told john he was able to get out on his own and he did. he then went into the bedroom and got dressed by himself, but let john check his wounds before he did. once sherlock got dressed, he went and sat in the living room while john went and got the food from the delivery man. when he got back upstairs he set the food on the coffee table then went to the kitchen and got plates and cutlery.

"wine?" he asked sherlock.

"water."

"actually following the doctors orders?" john asked as he got himself and sherlock each a water bottle.

"you would've given me water anyways."

john grinned as he set the plates on the coffee table, handing sherlock his water. "you need more fluids. you were severely dehydrated when you came in."

"which was last week."

"it was four days ago, sherlock." john said as put sushi rolls and a hunk of fried rice on a plate for sherlock. "stop acting like nothing happened because it did happen." he said and handed sherlock his plate along with a pair of chop sticks.

sherlock sighed and took the plate.

"what?" john asked, obviously annoyed with his boyfriend's response.

"nothing."

"no, clearly it is something."

"you're being over dramatic, john. it's nothing."

john scoffed and sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa as he turned the tv on. "i'm just trying to care for you. that's all." he said softly, looking down at his plate.

"i know you are, but i can take care of myself, babe."

john turned his head around. "don't 'babe' me." he said as he started to get angry. "i lost my shit last week worrying over you and now you don't want my fucking help. that makes me feel like a piece of shit. you spent every single fucking second in the hospital whining that you wanted me to take care of you and now that we're home, you don't want it anymore."

"because i don't need it! i'm a grown man!"

"you should've said that when you were acting like a five year old at the hospital then!"

sherlock sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. "i don't want to fight over this."

john set his plate on the coffee table with a thud and stared into his lap. "i feel like fighting is good for us. we rarely do it."

"that's because we rarely have time to have a decent conversation."

"i'm trying to make something good out of myself, sherlock."

"i know you are, but you're never here. and when you are you're sleeping or doing something around the flat and it's like we never have time to talk."

john sniffled and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on his knee. "maybe we weren't meant to be like we think we are." he said with a shrug.

"don't say that."

john looked over at sherlock. "why not?" he asked. "it's been pretty much six years and it's just not the same."

"well i think it is."

john put his face in his knees and sighed. "jim brought us together and now he's tearing us apart."

sherlock moves his plate from his lap to the coffee table, resting his elbows on his knees. "don't say that. you know that's not true."

"six years ago, around this time, we kissed on the roof after you brought me home from school because jim slammed a locker on my hand." john said as he traced the scar gently with his thumb. "and now after you got taken and tortured by him, we're separating."

sherlock moved onto the floor next to john, groaning slightly in pain as his elbow hit the corner of the sofa. he placed a hand on john's knee and looked at him. "i was assigned your case in late november," he stared. "i had watched you, got statements from hudders and your teachers for two months before finally deciding to step in that night you ran from jim. now i already knew that you were an amazing boy. i wasn't allowed to like you since it was business, but i did. and i remember that night that you taught me the charleston. i wanted to kiss you so bad. i really wanted to, but greg would've had my ass if i did," he said with a chuckle.

john smiled slightly. "we made shepard's pie that night and that was the first time i blushed from one of your compliments."

"what was that thing that your mum always said?"

"it's alright to be wrong because imperfection is what causes perfection." john said, turning his head to sherlock.

sherlock smiled at the boy. "and that's what this is," he said as he ran a hand through the boy's hair. "imperfection that'll soon lead to perfection. or close enough to it."

john laughed softly and straightened himself out, looking up at sherlock and giving him a kiss. "i love you."

"i love you, too." sherlock said, kissing john's forehead. "don't doubt for a second i don't."