John pov~

My siblings were giving me some time alone, which I appreciated a lot.

I looked at my phone, still lying on the ground near the wall, with cracks going across the protector and probably also the screen. I walked over and turned it on, surprised it still worked.

I looked at the screen through the spiderweb of cracks and noticed lots of notifications crowding the screen.

One of them stood out to me and I unlocked my phone immediately.

CaffeinatedHamSandwich has posted a new video

(Yeah yeah, yell at me in the comments if this ain't how it works, I don't have notifications on for YouTube ok?)

I clicked on the app and immediately went to Alexander's profile, clicking on the video as fast as my fingers would let me.

It was clearly filmed from his phone, and he was in his hospital room. I noticed that it was sunset from the glimpse of window and the lighting in the room. He looked less shaky on camera but I knew how sickly he'd been.

"Hey guys." Video Alexander said, pausing to cough before continuing. "As you may have noticed, I'm not in my office."

He moved the camera to display the room.

"I'm in the hospital." He coughed again, harder. "Sorry I haven't been posting stuff, I've been really sick."

I didn't want to continue watching, because I'd figured out what the sunset meant, but I couldn't bring myself to turn it off.

Video Alexander closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I just want to say, I'm sorry John. I'm sorry I lied, but I knew you'd panic if I told you the truth."

He leaned back in his bed and closed his eyes, just breathing for a second, before he opened his eyes again and smiled sadly.

"If you're seeing this then... Alexander Hamilton's signing off one last time."

I stared at the screen, tears filling my eyes once more.

I wiped my eyes and looked at the comments. Some people thought he was leaving YouTube, others were more on the dot and wondered if he'd died. There were a crap load of confused comments.

I spotted some from Alexander and I's friends, notably Peggy, the two Schuylers, Maria, Christine and Laf.

andPEGGY: Yo wtf's going on? Why won't you pick up the phone Alex?

Red_Sunflower: Hey Alex, are you ok? Get well soon! ❤️

SchuylerSisters: Is everything ok? -E
John, you'd tell us if something happened right? -A

PlayRehearsal: Whoa whoa whoa, sickness does not have the right to break up the bi gremlins!

LargeBaguette: Alex, mon ami, pourquoi tu ne nous réponds pas?

Their comments made my heart break, but I swallowed and blinked the tears out of my eyes, deciding I should clarify what happened, because Alexander hadn't exactly made it very obvious where he'd gone.

I clicked on the comment bar and started typing.

StariiSkies: Alexander got a really bad fever and went to the hospital a few days ago. He died last night.

I was well aware it was abrupt, but I wasn't in the mental state to break the news gently.

I curled up on my side, hugging my knees and crying myself to sleep.

—~•~—

I stood in front of my boyfriend's grave even after everyone had left, feeling the sadness come rushing at me again.

It had been a fairly sunny day, which had only angered me: sun is associated with happiness.

Why did the weather get to be happy?

But as night fell the clear sky made it seem like the stars were watching over  me as I sat beside Alexander's grave.

Maybe he was up in the stars.

I looked up and admired the stars that gleamed in the sky. I felt tears prick my eyes and let them flow freely down my cheeks, dripping off my chin and landing in the grass.

The love of my life was gone and I was not ok with it. I'd never be ok with it. His death would weigh on some part of me every second to come, and I'd accepted that.

That did not mean I'd accepted Alexander's death, it just meant that I was ok with the sadness to come.

One thing that stuck to me was the only thing he'd written in the description of his last video.

My love take your time. I'll see you on the other side.

—~•~—

It's finished! Woo! I hope you enjoyed this story.

I'm sure there are some consistency flaws and some characters who didn't get enough screen time, but all in all I like how this turned out.

I wasn't quite sure how to finish it but that quote is just so good and I had to use it somehow.

Oh, and I drew this because I felt bad. Also cause it's fun, but I felt bad and wanted to see my bean happy so... here you go. (I also imagine this would be his YouTube pfp. John drew it for him once they started dating or something and he made it his profile because he is a good boyf)

Anyways, now that this book is finished, I'll probably write another to take its place, but now I can proudly say I have two completed books.

Anyways, I hope you have a nice day/night/I have no concept of time anymore.

With love,
          Starii🌼