"So, er..." You begin, unsure of what to say. "I'm here to deliver a The 1975 package to... a—hang on—the... Crazy Fam?" Bewildered, you look up from the sheet, expecting to find the girl that had opened the door. Instead, all you find is a puff of smoke.

    Confused? Let's backtrack for you.

~

    "Aye, Bill, I'll deliver this for ya." You told your companion—Bill, of course. He nodded at you and gave you a thanks before driving off, leaving you with a bicycle. Rude.

    You two had been trekking in the forest four hours on end, yet you still hadn't found the location you'd been given for the package. Due to you being too nice for your own good, you'd offered to deliver it yourself, so Bill could go on his date with a Sally. Or was it Suzy?

    Tutting to yourself, you carefully placed the package in the bicycle's basket, before checking the location. Crazy House, GlitchPad, WattPad. You rubbed my eyes before checking it again. Well then, you mused. That's one peculiar name for a street.

    After a minute or two of wandering about, you found a small clearing in the forest, with a large sign that said Welcome to WattPad! It took you a second to realise you were close to finding the location.

    Then, you trekked further to find another sign, this one pointing to the North, East, South and West. North led to Lags and Adverts, East to Stories and Wattys, South to Reality, and West led to Procrastination, and, finally, GlitchPad.

    Peculiar names indeed.

~

    The sky was navy-blue by the time you reached the Crazy House, which turned out to be, in fact, a mansion. It was large, painted beige, and looked new. With a sigh of relief, you pressed on the doorbell.

    You did not expect to find chaos in the house—people yelling, people floating, and a burnt frog in a purple robe. Well then. A small Chinese girl with black hair and almost-black-brown eyes greeted you.

    "WelcometotheCrazyHouse, hi, I'mEllushLamionePuncakebutcallmeLaandpleasejustputthepackagethere." She rapidly spoke with a British accent which made her sound distinctively like Emma Watson.

    "Pardon?" You asked, confused as to how she'd spoken that fast.

    "Sorry—I'm at a rush right now. Welcome to the Crazy House, hi, I'm Ellush Lamione Puncake but call me La, and please just put the package there." She pointed at the table beside me. Hadn't noticed that before.

Awkwardly, you placed the package on the table, then blinked to find that it was wrapped. You swear, you're not crazy, but you saw La put a stick under her cloak. Odd.

Now, you stand there, confused as to where the girl has gone.

Suddenly, a five-foot-something girl with silky raven hair, brown eyes and dark skin rushes over with La.

"Puncake! We need to get all of this ready, and I can't believe we all overslept! Merlin's pants, I can't deal. Let me die in peace!" You look at the girl weirdly, which makes her notice you. "Merlin'spantsMerlin'spantsnewpersonnewperson!" She exclaims.

"Yup. I did a spell so only the awkward people can see the place!" La smiles, making the mysterious girl facepalm.

"Okay, we can do this. I'm Dyne Islthea Mar, yes Dyneeeee. Pronounce it correctly and I'll give you a cookie. Actually, just call me Dy."

"Erm, okay. Hi, Dy." She then grabs a cookie from thin air, handing it to you.

Five people mysteriously appear, each grinning from one ear to the other. "Oh, yeah." La begins. "This is Reader 1, Reader 2, Reader 3, Reader 4 and Reader 5. They came each time there was a party." You take turns in shaking their hands, when you sigh.

"Finally. A sense of normalcy." Reader 3 smirks at what you say.

"This is tradition for each of the Crazy Fam member's birthdays! The craziness has just begun for you." With that, they all hunch over and walk backwards with their hands clasped, still grinning as they fade into the nonexistent shadows. Well then.

"So, Spamuffin Dynosaur, my dear sister." La turns to Dyne. "Would you care to escort our guest, as you always go?"

"B-b-but– why me?" She splutters.

"Because that's what you always do, and, plus, you're the nicer one here. AlsocauseI'mextremelyawkward." Then, she grabs the... stick in her cloak and poofs with a flick of her wrist.

    You follow Dyne as she leads me to two people—twins. They both wear cloaks, one of them blood red, and the other one maybe.

"Sup, dude?" The girl with the mauve cloak looks you in the eye, and you start when you see the spectacular green that is rimmed with flaming silver. "Bruh, stop staring, it's creepy."

    The girl with the blood-red cloak steps up, holding a chainsaw. "Yeah, stop staring. Stalker much? I have a chainsaw, and I'm not afraid to use it."

    Randomly, one of the Readers sing "Deja vu!" before sprinting away

    "Y-yeah, Sorry." You apologise to the thin Asian girl with the chainsaw as well as the green-eyed one.

    "Well, kiddos." Dyne faces the girls. "This is another Reader. Reader 6, since this is the sixth birthday book. Reader, meet Cha– I mean, Katia, and Hop– Choppers." You nod as she points at the green-eyed girl, then the chainsaw-holding one.

    "Hi there." You say hesitantly. You jump when La appears with a puff of smoke.

    "Okay, we gotta introduce Reader to the rest of the fam before Ez appears!" The girls run rapidly, one of the yelling a parting.

"Bye Bloop, Piella, Reader!" And then there were three.

Next, you and Dyne head to a bubblegum-pink genie girl that floats, and a saiyan that also floats.

"Sup, I'm Xavier, or you can call me Oli." The saiyan greets coolly, drawing something on a tablet.

"Hey there, I'm Gigi." The genie girl smiles at you. "And don't call me Genie, because that's rude. Don't call me Girl either, because that's offensive."

"Hi..." You say awkwardly. "I'm... Reader...?"

"K." Everyone stops and gasps.

"Potassium." Dyne states.

"Oh, the horror! You just got... K-bombed." La appears to whisper in your ear. "Rest of the fam, Dynosaur, rest of the fam."

"Oh, okie." She grins brightly.

"No, you useless frog slime, you weren't supposed to press the button!" A ghost hisses. You try to backtrack at the scene in front of you, but you can't, for some reason.

"B-but you made me press the button!"

"No I didn't–" The ghost and the frog scramble to act civilised as they see Dyne.

"What did you guys do...?" Dyne warns.

"What? Pshhh, we did nothing..." They both laugh nervously before looking away and throwing away a tablet. Dyne looks at them with suspicion. "Wemayormaynothaveaccidentallypressedabuttonthat'stakenallthemoneyoffabank."

"That's great news! I'm pretty sure we're almost broke from how much money the guys spend on giving treats to people on the ILoveAwards!" La cheers, then dutifully disappears.

"Erm..." Is all you can say, since you are completely bewildered.

    "Hi, Reader. I'm Ana McSprinkles, and this idiotic, burnt frog is my twinzie, Lon." The ghost smiles warmly, a constraint to her blue-ish aura. The burnt frog wearing a purple cloak and a crown looks at you.

    "I'm totally gaey." Ana ignores him, swatting him away.

    "Oh my– I THINK TITA MERA'S HERE."

    "OPI AUNT'S HERE!" Everyone starts yelling, scrambling behind a box. Yes, a box. The light shuts off, making you take the hint and join them.

   When you see the people there, you gasp. There's a magnificent girl in a silver gown that smiles, standing between three more people. Dutifully, Dy introduces them to you.

    "There's Mushira—or Meagan—with the purple dress, our mother Olly in the red-rose dress, Mari in the black dress, and our birthday girl herself. That's Kyrene Esmerelda." She smiles happily.

"SURPRISE!!!"