I stood outside for about ten minutes after he drove away, glaring in the direction that he left.

Turning away and snapping out of my haze, I slowly made my way to the front door where I could see Elise glancing at me.

I opened the screen door and stepped inside, suddenly feeling even angrier than I already was. Elise was sitting down with her hands in her lap, looking down on them, and as I walked inside she sucked in a deep breath.

"Did you hear that, Elise?" I asked in a deadly calm voice.

She nodded softly and chewed on her lip.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Are you sorry you heard it? And you feel bad for me? Or because you know it's your fault?" I growled.

"It's...it's not my fault." She mumbled, furrowing her eyebrows.

"So Red Martin asks me out, comes to my house to pick me up, and then you freaking cut yourself and he sees you, making me check on you, and you don't think that's your fault? I do."

"Red is just worried about you." She said with a shrug.

"Why is he worried about me? Seems like he's worried about you. You're pretty screwed up right now, huh, Elise?" I jabbed mockingly.

She winced. "He just likes you. And you're not being very nice."

"I'm not? I thought I was being angel." I grimaced. "Well you know what? I've been nice my whole life, and it got me no where. Word of advice, if you want to do well you can't let yourself be a doormat. You can't be the nice guy."

"Fine." Elise grumbled, almost incoherently.

"Why would you do that?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"It's not my fault, I'm so-"

"Not that." I snapped. "Why did you...you know, cut yourself?"

"Because I knew that nobody would care if I did." She said, looking up at me for the first time in our conversation.

Her glance made me shiver.

"I know you don't care. I heard you tell Red you didn't care if I cut. Or if killed myself." She said, beginning to raise her voice threateningly.

It creeped me out, a lot.

"I guess I was just kinda mad, and-"

"I don't wanna hear it. You know why? I wouldn't care if I killed myself either." She said with a giggle. Her quiet laughter slowly morphed into full-on sobbing, until there were tears streaming down her face and I couldn't tell if she was still laughing or if she was crying.

"You know what's funnier? Mom wouldn't care. If anything it'd make her life easier." Tears streaked down her voice and she cried hysterically, laugh-crying.

"Actually-" I started. My heart was beating fast, and she cut me off.

"The girls at school wouldn't care. They would be so relieved." She said, getting calm all of a sudden. I took a few steps back as Elise stood up and started pacing around the kitchen.

"Oh, you know Elise? Yeah, the fat slut who sleeps with teachers for good grades. The anorexic girl who still isn't good enough? Yeah, Elise Freeman, Chance's sister? The one who tries too hard, the one who nobody likes, the one who nobody knows or wants to know? She's gone. Out of the way." She said with a scoff. "Yeah," she continued, "she killed herself last night. Made the world a better place."

"Elise." I tried, though don't know what I would've said if she hadn't kept talking.

"The funny thing is that I know who started all those rumors." The laughed. "And it was you, Chance." She whipped around and glared at me, opening a cabinet and grabbing a glass cup.

"You told people things that weren't true and everyone believed you. Why didn't you stop?"

"I-"

"You could have stopped." She said, breaking down and sobbing again.

Then, she screamed. An ear-piercing, window-shattering, movie-murder scream. I covered my ears with both hands and closed my eyes, only opening them when I felt the first shards of glass fly at my feet.

"What the-" I gasped.

Elise let out another screech, picking out two more glasses and whipping them at the ground near my feet. I jumped to the side, landing on a few shards of broken glass and letting out a cry. I started to limp away and make my way to the stairs. She kept reaching into the cabinets and chucking glasses out. At the ground, the walls, the door, onto her own feet, everywhere.

And I turned my back and fled (as quickly as I could on bleeding feet) up the stairs and into my room.

When I reached the top I heard and saw nothing except the muffled sobs of a girl, huddled in a corner of the kitchen, knees pulled to her chest and rocking back and forth, bleeding from the glass she had broken herself.

******

I woke up to the sound of the front door opening, and my stomach dropped. Mom was home for the weekend, and there was still glass everywhere downstairs from Elise's little hissy-fit.

"What the hell is this?" She exclaimed from the kitchen. I sighed and opened my door, slowly creeping down the stairs on my bandaged feet.

"Elise had a bit of a breakdown." I coughed.

"A little bit of a breakdown?" She screamed, face turning red. "You better explain what happened right now or I swear to god-"

"I don't know. She just snapped." I said with a shrug.

"She-" mom's eyebrows furrowed and then widened. "Where is she?" She gasped, running up the stairs.

"Dunno. When I left she was still in the kitchen."

"Elise!" Mom called, running down the hallway and into her room. "She's not in here." She called frantically.

"Okay...?" I moaned.

Mom flew out of Elise's room and further down the hall, to the bathroom door. It was locked, and the light was off.

"Elise! Open the door right now!" She sobbed. "Elise please baby!" Her voice cracked and she reached above the doorframe, holding a key in her hand.

"Come on Elise." She cried, swinging the door open. When she screamed, my blood ran cold. Mom dropped to her knees and started screaming.

"No, no, no, no, no!" She sobbed. Her voice cracked and she let out breathy sobs. "Oh baby."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Get my phone Chance." She screamed. "Come on, hurry!" Tears flowed down her cheeks and she let out another heavy sob.

I ran downstairs and rummaged through her purse, running back up and handing her her phone. I didn't dare look into the bathroom yet.

"No no no no." She choked, taking out her cell phone and calling 911. She told them the address in hysterics, and to come quickly, before hanging up and screaming in frustration and anger.

I crept forward and peeked into the bathroom.

Elise came into sight, and I fell to my knees in shock.

There she lay, on the bathroom floor, with slits on her wrists and thighs, covered in blood. She was positioned awkwardly on her back, limbs sprawled out uncomfortably. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her lips were chewed raw. Small cuts in her calfs and ankles were visible, with small shards of glass sticking out.

"How could you let this happen Chance?" She screamed, sobbing loudly and her face turning red. She kneeled down and cupped Elise's face in her hands. "My baby..." she sobbed.

"Me? This is my fault?" I yelled. "Elise tries to kill herself and it's my fault?"

"Why weren't you watching her?" She yelled in between sobs.

"It wasn't my turn to watch her!" I jabbed.

She slapped me across the cheek.

"Chance Freeman, this is not about you!" She gasped, crying hysterically. "It's not about you!" Letting out another desperate sob, she crawled forward and touched Elise's face.

"This isn't my fault!" I yelled.

"Get out! Get out Chance! You don't care and you shouldn't be here!"

I didn't budge.

"Get. Out!" Mom screamed, taking a deep breath in between words.

"Fine." I sneered, storming into my room.

I didn't come out when the medics came, radios screeching and lights blaring. I didn't come out when they entered the house with heavy feet and directed my mom to go outside. I didn't leave when they ran downstairs, presumably with Elise's body, or when mom asked them desperately if she was dead.

"Ma'am, we understand it's hard, but you must stay calm. She has a pulse, but it is weak. I hope she's a fighter, she's gonna have to be very strong to make it." A man's voice sounded from the hallway. Mom sobbed more, wrecking her vocal cords and following the EMT's down the stairs.

I didn't leave when the front door slammed shut, or when whole house went deadly silent.

But I left when it finally sunk in.

When I realized that my sister could actually die, and that I would be an only child, and I wouldn't have her. I wouldn't have anyone to walk to and from school with- not that we'd done that recently anyway- but still. I wouldn't have a twin anymore, I wouldn't have someone who convinced me to sneak out to parties, or to come out. I wouldn't have the person who had lived my entire life with me, even if I hadn't been at her side the whole time. She would be dead, and the last time I saw her would be when she threw glasses at me. Her last memory would be of cutting herself and hoping that it worked, that she finally ended the pain. Kids at school would probably feel guilty, I would hope, but not Charley. Not her. Red would look at me with a flare of disappointment and he would be the boy who I used to know. The boy who I could've had one day, the boy who used to be mine. Everyone would know it was....

They would know it was my fault. Red was right. Mom was right. It would be my fault. All my fault that my sister was dead and couldn't watch her favorite TV shows anymore, or couldn't dress up to sneak out to parties, or couldn't hang out with friends anymore, or even smile and laugh. It would be my fault that my mother lost a child, and I didn't go to the hospital because I didn't care enough.

Why didn't I care enough? Was I that blinded by jealousy that I didn't care if my sister died?

Red was right. It was my fault. My fault that she cut herself and wanted to kill her self rather than live another day. Rather kill herself than have to face the kids at school again or wake up one last time.

So I left when I realized that it would be my fault. I left, and I took mom's care and drove all the way to Red's house with tears streaming down my cheeks.

When I arrived, I wondered if I should even bother knocking or if he wouldn't want to see me.

But the hopeful part of me opened the door and walked up the front steps, the hopeful part of my knocked three times and the when it opened, the hopeful part of me said, "Is Red home?"

"He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now." A young boy replied.

"Can you tell him it's important? Tell him he was right." I pleaded.

"Okay..." the boy looked at me with uncertainty but crept away and up the stairs.

I sucked in a deep breath when I heard footsteps down the stairs, and when the door opened the hopeful part of me said, "I need your help."

"Why?" Red asked impatiently, rolling his eyes.

"Elise..." I choked out. "She, uh, tried to... I mean I don't know if she succeeded but she tried to... and my moms at the hospital now and I didn't go and it's my fault. I know that." I sniffled. "So I need your help."

"With what?" He asked hesitantly. "You didn't seem to want my help when I told you Elise was in a bad place. Or when I told you she could try something dangerous. You didn't seem to want my help at all. So what changed?" He growled.

"I..." I sniffled. "I changed. I cleared my head and I changed. So I know it's probably too late and if she dies it's my fault but... if she doesn't, I mean, I need your help." I tried to explain.

"Chance..." Red winced, shaking his head and looking down. "You didn't liste-"

"I know! I know, I know I didn't listen but now I know that my sister could die and I want to punish the people who did that to her. It's my fault." I said, letting out a heavy sob.

There was an awkward moment of silence as he stood in front of me with a frown on his face.

"What do you need me to do?"

The next morning I walked to school earlier than usual, which was pretty damn early. But it was worth it, I was doing it for Elise. For when she came back.

I met Red in the library, touching up our plan and making sure we were ready, that we were going through with it.

We were. I was ready, he was ready.

So during my third period class, at exactly 11:15, which was the time the secretary refilled her coffee (information we got from Metin), Red asked to go to the bathroom.

"Is it an emergency?" The teacher asked tiredly.

"It's that time of the month." He joked.

"Just go." She said, waving him off and turning back to the board.

"Can I go to?" I asked her hurriedly.

"One at a time." She drawled.

"I might pee myself." I said, and my face turned red as other students laughed.

"Go, Chance." She sighed. "Just let me get back to the lesson."

I stood up and rushed out with Red.

"You take the office, I go to the gym, we meet there. Got it? Be stealthy." I added as we walked side by side.

"Like a ninja." He agreed, splitting up with me at the hallway leading to the main office. I sprinted to the gymnasium, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

I had just reached the gymnasium when I heard Red come over the loudspeaker.

"Teachers, please send your students to an emergency meeting being held in the gymnasium. Students only."

His imitation was horrible, but the morons at our school would believe it.

Sure enough, confused crowd of teenagers began to file into the gym and take seats in the bleachers and on the ground.

I stood behind the curtain on the stage, taking a deep breath as I tried to calm my nerves. I had practiced what I was going to say all night and this morning too, but I couldn't help but feel as if I would forget parts.

I could hear the murmurs from the crowd as the last of the classes entered the gym, and I peeked out from backstage and nodded to Red. He closed the doors and students became restless, wondering what this meeting could possibly be about.

I took one final deep breath and pulled the curtain back, revealing the projector and my nervous self, holding the microphone in sweaty hands.

Students exclaimed at the sight of a small teenage boy standing on the big stage in front of a big crowd, but I just gulped and pulled the microphone up to my face.

"Hi." I choked out. People stayed silent for the most part, aside from a few curious whispers. I started to wish I was off of the stage, until I glanced at Red who was standing by the door. He nodded at me, and I was filled with a newfound confidence.

"Some of you probably know me," I continued. "Chance Freeman. In the beginning of the year, I came out by accident at a party. I was terrified, and I wasn't sure what people would say. But things turned out pretty well for me." I said eloquently.

"We know you're gay, Chance." Link shouted from the crowd.

"Yes. Thank you, Link, but that's not actually what this is about." I said as I bit my lip and made my way over to the projector.

"Elise Freeman, my sister, her year started out bad. And I'm going to be honest, I didn't care. Time to dig into some history." I said with a sigh. "At our old school, Elise was a big thing. People loved her, and she had so many friends. It was crazy. She was crazy. Athletic, smart, caring, beautiful. Everyone loved her. And she was happy." I said, taking a deep breath and holding back a tear.

I tapped the iPad, turning on the projector and displaying a picture of Elise from last year, her with two friends, smiling and all dressed up.

"She was happy." I repeated. "But, I was a nobody. I didn't have friends, I wasn't athletic, I got straight B's, and I basically lived in her shadow. So when we came here, and the tables turned, I was really confused. I didn't know why people liked me and not her. Then, one night, Elise and I had a fight. It was about something that had been on my mind for a few years, and everyone in my house kind of knew it too."

"Is it that you were gay?" Penn shouted.

"Not everything is gay, Penn." I scoffed. "I hadn't been able to make friends without Elise. Ever. When we were little, middle school, then high school. That's around the time when I stopped hovering over her and I was kind of alone. Well, not alone. I still had Elise." I cleared my throat and tapped the iPad again, changing to a picture of me and Elise on our first day of school last year.

"We got into a fight about me not being able to do things without her help. She didn't think I could, our mom didn't think I could, and I really wanted to prove them wrong. So I'm going to get into the ugly stuff now. The first rumor, the very first rumor about Elise, was started by me. I was at lunch, daydreaming about stuff, and someone asked me if something was true. My initial though was, popular kids love gossip, when it should have been, who am I hurting right now? If I had known it would be Elise we might not be here right now. But we are." The words kept coming and it felt so natural, I was scared to stop for fear of breaking my flow.

"So I started the first rumor when I said, 'Yeah, it's true'. I had just told people that Elise had slept with some kid, and I tried to undo it. I swear, I did. But I couldn't. So word got around that Elise slept with someone and when Elise heard it, she was furious with me. She decided to spread the rumor that I was dating Red Martin. I guess she thought it would be funny cause Red punched me at the party... long story. So Red is actually gay, but we're not dating."

Metin laughed out loud. "You guys have to be dating. You're not serious, are you?" She guffawed.

"I am, actually. We agreed to go along with it so her rumor would be true and, you know, not a rumor. It was also a decent way for Red to come out." I glanced over to Red who gave me a reassuring thumbs up.

"Anyway, more rumors about Elise spread from there. I'm going to be honest again, I think about... three more were mine. I started a few more. She tried to apologize, I got pissed, let some lies slip around Metin, Link, and Penn. Word got around fast that she was anorexic, had STD's, a few more. I never told anyone they weren't true. Well, Red always knew what I was doing. And he wasn't happy it, which pissed me off. I thought that what I was doing was justified."

People whispered to each other, and I continued talking.

"But, I'm not the only one to blame." I said, and moved to the next thing on the projector, the video of Charley and Brightley saying the rumors weren't true. The video played through, and people began to talk more, looking at the two stars of the video confusedly.

Once it was over, I continued with my confession.

"So Elise was dealing with a lot. She wasn't feeling good about herself. People hated her, she couldn't even talk to her own brother. She became quieter, and sad. Nervous, too. I didn't think anything of it, other than, 'My plan is working.' I wasn't really trying to break her, but that's what I did. She was breaking, and lonely, and sad. So when I look at what I, and what other people, did to her, it makes me look back on the times when she was like this."

I pulled the next video up, one of Elise sitting in front of a big birthday cake with a pointy hat, wearing a big grin and two pigtails. That had to be our tenth birthday, and it felt like so long ago. In the video, there was a little boy next to her, ten year old Chance.

"You can blow all of them out, Chance." She offered.

"Really?" I gasped, looking at her with wide eyes.

Behind the camera, our mother laughed and the camera jiggled.

"Yes, I want you to. Blow as hard as you can." She laughed, smiling and looking at me in love.

I turned to the cake and sucked in a deep breath, blowing out my candles and then hers, breaking into a fit of laughter when I had finished.

"Time for presents!" Elise shrieked, hopping out of her chair and running off.

"Elise, the cake!" Our mother laughed, running after her and ending the video in a blur.

I let the silence hang in the air for a second before speaking into the mic again.

"That was the old Elise. I think you've all seen the new Elise." People nodded, some bowing their heads and a few wiping away tears.

"At home I didn't talk to her. I ignored her, as if she wasn't breaking down to a dangerous point. I acted like everything was fine and like I didn't care, which I didn't. And trust me, I hate myself for that. I'll regret it forever, especially if.... well, I'll regret it either way." I said, feeling my eyes well up with tears.

"Yesterday, Red was picking me up at our house for a real date, and I was really excited. I was waiting in the kitchen when he pulled up, and she walked in. She tried to talk to me, and I noticed there was something on her sweatshirt. I ignored it, like I ignored everything else." The tear flowed over my cheek and I sniffled.

"When I got in Red's car, he didn't even look at me before seeing inside and pointing out that there was blood on Elise's sweatshirt. I told him it didn't matter, to drive away, but he told me to open my eyes. To see that something was very, very wrong. With Elise, and myself. Something was wrong. And I still didn't care." I put my hand over my face for a minute, taking a moment to calm myself down before continuing. I had to stay strong, for Elise.

"Red kicked me out of the car and I stared after him for about ten minutes. And when I went inside I told Elise it was her fault. I went inside and told Elise, who had just cut herself, that it was her fault a boy made me get out of his car. She actually talked to me for the first time in a while. She had a breakdown, I guess. Anyway, she started laughing and crying, alternating, then she threw glass. She threw cups everywhere, near herself, across the room, some near me. I ran up the stairs and things got deadly quiet. She was just kind of sitting in the corner..." I choked. "crying..." a few more tears ran down my face and I let out a quiet and breathy sob.

I kept going in a shaky voice.

"So our mom got home and asked me, you know, like what the hell happened? I told her Elise had a breakdown and she started freaking out. I didn't get it. I didn't get that she was looking for Elise cause she could have been in danger. She checked her room, then the bathroom. And she screamed-" I choked out another sob. "and shouted at me, and I didn't get it. I didn't really care even when I saw her." I cried.

I heard sniffles from the crowd and heard sniffles, and it gave me the strength to carry on.

For Elise.

"So last night, Elise Freeman killed her self. Well, I don't know if it worked yet. I didn't care enough to go to the hospital with my mom, I didn't care until it hit me about an hour later that I could lose Elise. As if I hadn't already lost her when I spread those things about her. I hiked it over to Red's house and we planned this." I admitted.

"So he snuck into the office, and made an announcement, and now you're all here. And I'm here, on a stage talking about Elise and how she might or might not live. I just wanted to tell the people in this school, and myself, that the shit that we say hurts. And it matters to everyone. We care so much about rumors and not enough about the people the rumors were about. Everyone close your eyes. I want you to be honest here, I will not judge you. I can't, seeing as I didn't care when Elise was on the bathroom floor, bleeding. Alright, keep them closed." I demanded, and everyone did.

"Raise your hand if, when you heard Elise was anorexic, you were worried about her." A few hands rose, but the amount that didn't made me even sadder.

"Keep it up if you did anything about it." There were no more hands left. "Okay, everyone's hands are down. What does that say to you guys? Open your eyes and look at this picture." I ordered, putting up a picture of Elise smiling with a boy from our old school.

"Who would think, by looking at this picture, that the girl in it would be dead the next year? Nobody, right? I didn't, none of you did." More years ran down my face but my voice, surprisingly, stayed steady.

"So I just thought that everyone here, myself included, needed a message saying, wake the fuck up. Elise could die, and none of you would care if I hadn't made this speech. Think about the next rumor you hear, think about the person behind it, think about whether or not it's true. If you aren't sure, don't. Fucking. Spread. It. Is that clear? I hate to call people out, but Metin, Link, Penn, it was way too easy to have people believe everything you said about Elise. Use that power wisely, not to be bitches. Charley, Brightley, I hate you both and hope you burn in hell. Lastly, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. To Elise and to Red and to Hart, who I abandoned. I know Elise probably won't be able to, if she..." I coughed awkwardly. "I'm making amends with Red, and hope we can mount up to something more later." I said with a small blush. "And Hart, all I can say is that I sorry and I was stupid. Everything I did was out of jealousy and hunger for power. So that's the end of my speech, and I'd like to finish by saying that I promise to never spread another rumor as long as I live. After seeing what it did to people, I hope you'll consider it too." I finished, feeling my head become dizzy. It was quiet for a moment before the gym erupted with sounds of applause and some crying. I stood up in front of the crowd, feeling small but powerful at the same time. I stepped behind the curtain and sat down, leaning against the wall and closing my eyes. The clapping rang throughout the gym, and I let it drown out the sounds of my sobs.