"Don't be cautious, don't be kind
You committed, I'm your crime
Push my button anytime
You got your finger on the trigger
But your trigger finger's mine"

-Billie Eilish, copycat

CAROLINE BYERS WAS DYING.

She could feel it everywhere, down to her very bones. Her lungs were melting and her skin was torching.

She was being burned alive.

God, this was worse than dying. Her head had exploded by now, surely. But if she was dead, why did it hurt so bad?

She knew she was being moved, she felt her body being clutched and thrown around and jostled. Caroline was no longer in control; the demons in her head had taken over, now.

She could feel her brother, his pain enhancing her own. It was the definition of pure agony, convulsing and suffocating in her own skin, having no control of her limbs.

And eternity passed, and then Caroline was surrounded by bright white light. She had curled up into a ball, screaming so loudly that she swore her throat tore.

"Help!" Caroline heard someone yell in her ear, and she assumed she was being carried. "Help! Please!"

Caroline could hear Will somewhere down the hall, matching her screams, before a familiar voice broke through.

"God! Caroline!" It was her mother. What was her mother doing... wherever she was? "Hold on, sweetie!"

Caroline realized vaguely she was at the lab. She felt the pull towards the opening into the Upside Down, where He had escaped in the first place.

Where the other part of her had appeared.

After all, they were one in the same now.

Caroline had gone from screaming to sobbing as she writhed in pain, the realization hitting her all at once.

"Stretcher! Stretcher!" Dr. Owens was there now, too, waving over nearby doctors.

"I'm right here. Just hold on," Joyce whispered as she held her daughter's hand. They wheeled the twin down the hall.

Caroline was parallel with Will now in a hospital room. She tore at her jacket and shirt, desperate for any kind of cool breeze. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, her skin coated in sweat.

The monster, He was completely taking over, and she had already let go. She wished it was all over; she couldn't handle it anymore-

"Vitals?" Owens called, cutting open Caroline's heavy coat as she writhed on the bed.

"Heart rate 220 . Temperature's 106!"

"Will, where does it hurt?" Owens turned urgently to the Byers boy, knowing that Caroline was past the point of ability to respond, "where does it hurt?"

"All over!" Will sobbed.

"It BURNS!" Caroline screeched. She saw Lucas out of the corner of her eye, holding Joyce tightly, as her mother was crying so hard she was falling over.

He was horrified.

Caroline had failed him, again.

With her stupid baggage.

"They said they're burning! Check for burns!" Owens barked.

They cut open the twins shirts, revealing pale skin, but no burns. Will was sobbing with pain, but Caroline was clutching her head. The monster was roaring in the language only she could understand.

"I don't see anything," Owens panicked. "I don't understand... Where does it hurt the most?"

Will's voice changed to a bellow. "Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!"

"We need to sedate them!" Owens shouted to nearby doctors.

Caroline felt a sharp pain in her neck and felt the calm flood into her bloodstream.

She accepted it, gratefully, thanking whatever ever cruel god was out there as her choking sobs melting away as she drifted into unconsciousness.

They were only delaying the inevitable.

Because once the Byers twins woke up again...

they would never be the same.

The monitor beeped in the corner of the room, matching the steady, slow beating of Caroline's heart.

A familiar looking man shined a light in her eyes. She stared straight ahead, jaw set. They didn't like that- the brightness.

"No more, it's done, grow, grow..." Caroline had been muttering nonsense for the past hour since she woke up.

"Do you know your name?" Dr. Owens sat in a chair between the Byers' twins hospital beds.

"It's Will." The boy was staring at his sister, who was still babbling.

"Will!" Caroline said loudly. The room turned to look at her, bewildered. Her hands twitched uncontrollably. "Will, will not, Will will not..."

Thoughts spun around in her mind a million miles a minute. She knew everything- everything He knew. She was trapped in her own mind, her head pulsing as she tried to navigate what He was telling her.

She was vital to His plan. Without her, none of it was possible.

"Your full name?" Dr. Owens asked Will, brows furrowed.

"William Byers," Will said.

"Will will not!" Caroline seethed, glaring at Joyce. The tiny woman just stared at her daughter in horror.

"Do you know..." Dr. Owens looked around the room, expressionless. "Do you know who I am?"

Will hesitated, staring at Owens. "A... doctor."

"Have we met before?" Owens pressed.

"I don't remember," Will stammered.

Caroline lurched forward suddenly, almost falling out of her bed. Bob Newby quickly rushed over and set her back upright. His girlfriend's daughter was pale and clammy to the touch.

"Caroline, can you hear me?" Dr. Owens turned his attention the tiny girl in the bed, her dark hair fanned out across the pillow. Her bright blue eyes darted around the room as she muttered aggressively under her breath.

"Hear," Caroline broke free from the monster's grasp long enough to choke out the word.

"Do you know who this is?" Dr. Owens pointed at Lucas, who sat curled up in a blanket in the corner of the room, unchacteristically silent. "This guy right here? It's okay, take your time."

The battle for control in Caroline's head between her and the monster was unbearable. But she knew who Lucas was.

Lucas was the boy who made her smile when her father left.

Lucas was the boy who brought her terrible homemade cookies when she was sick, not caring that he would get sick too.

Lucas was the boy who always brought her beef jerky to snack on, when her family was tight on money and couldn't afford any extra little treats.

Lucas was the boy who dragged the party to all of her softball games, happy for her even when her team lost.

Lucas was her anchor when everything else around her was too chaotic for her to handle.

Not even a supernatural monster could make her forget who that was.

"Lucas," Caroline said. He perked up when she said his name, looking at her with big big brown eyes full of tears. "My best friend."

"Hi, Callie," he said softly. He forced a watery smile.

"What about me, kid?"

Caroline slowly turned to the man standing close to her mother. The police Chief.

He had done something good, to help her and her family... something regarding her father... a restraining order, prison...

But it was too hazy for Caroline to really understand.

" What about you, Will?" the Chief turned to the small Byers boy, his brows furrowed.

Will shook his head slowly.

"They tell me you helped save me last night. You remember that?"

Will shook his head again.

"Do you remember anything about last night? About what happened?"

"Spread, Will not," Caroline's fingers picked at each other, slowly breaking the skin. "You did it. You did this."

Hopper stared at her, trying to understand what she was saying. She stared back at him, the tiny part of her left pleading for him to get it.

"I remember they hurt me." Will said, turning to look at Dr. Owens.

"You mean the doctors?" Owens nodded his understanding.

"No." Caroline spoke for the both of them.

"The soldiers." Will confirmed. The twins looked at each other and a million words were exchanged.

"The soldiers hurt you?" Owens frowned.

"They shouldn't have done that." Will said through gritted teeth.

"Bad, bad, bad," Caroline repeated the words like a mantra. The skin around her thumbnail was torn apart now, blood dripping off her finger.

Lucas reached over and gently took her hand, making her stop picking.

"It upset Him."

"You say, 'Upset Him.' Is that... Him?" Owens held up the drawing of the monster, hug and ugly and dark with its cruel tendrils.

Will nodded. Just once, but it was enough for the room to finally understand the gravity of situation.

"Okay," Owens breathed. "Okay, I wanna try something. It's gonna seem a little odd at first, but I think it's really gonna help us understand what's going on. Is that okay?"

"Okay," Will whispered.

Another Doctor wheeled in a cart with a glass tank that has a severed vine in it, sitting it down in front of Dr. Owens.

"Now, Will, Caroline, I want you to just let us know if you feel anything. Okay?"

The doctor held up a small blowtorch, a tiny flame sprouting at the tail of the vine. An eerie screeching noise filled the room.

The heart monitor began beeping faster.

"Do you feel anything?" Owens looked back and forth between the twins intently.

"Little sting," Will's fists clenched.

"No," Caroline whispered, staring the vine in horror.

No one heard her.

"It stings? Where?"

"My chest," Will grunted, squirming in pain.

"Okay, son."

"Sweetie..." Joyce watched the twins as they started to writhe.

The doctor moved the flame higher up on the screeching vine in the jar, making Caroline gasp with pain.

"How about now?" Owens pressed.

Will squirmed, groaning. "It... it burns."

Caroline let out a cry and let go of Lucas's hand as her hands darted to her head. He didn't like it.

Stop stop stop stop stop stop-

"Callie!" Lucas stood up, trying to pry her clenched fingers from her head. "What happening?"

"Ah! It burns!" Will's back arched as he yelled.

"Where?" Owens shouted.

"EVERYWHERE!" Will screamed.

"That's enough!" Joyce shouted, her hand clasped over Caroline's sweaty forehead. "That's enough!"

"STOP!" Caroline screamed, gasping for breath. Her head was on fire, her skin was melting-

"Stop! You heard her!" Hopper's voice bellowed through the room, finally getting the doctors attention. "That's enough! That's it! We're done!"

The blowtorch shut off and Caroline fell back onto her pillow, clutching at her chest. "Jesus!"

"Baby, it's okay..." Joyce swept the hair off her twins' foreheads as they sobbed.

"Are you okay?" Lucas leaned forward, looking over Joyce's shoulder. "Caroline?"

"You shouldn't have done that," Caroline panted, her voice broken. "You really shouldn't have done that."

Lucas pursed his lips and glared at Owens. "Why would you do that? You hurt them!"

"It was just a theory, that we now know was correct," Owens explained. "We can now move forward with-"

"You knew it would hurt them!" Lucas raised his voice, standing up. His eyes blazed with anger.

"Mr. Sinclair-"

"No! Don't Mr. Sinclair me! You knew it would hurt them, and you did it anyway!" Lucas ran a hand over his face. "What kind of doctors are you, anyway?"

"Kid, I'm with you," Hopper stalked forward, resting a restraining hand on Lucas's shoulder. "But yelling isn't gonna make a more valid point."

"Doctors are supposed to help people!" Lucas shouted.

The tiny part of the real Caroline left inside the shell of her body knew how close Lucas was to exploding. She rarely saw it happen, but when it did, friendships were strained and he shut himself away from the world.

She knew that.

Caroline could see Lucas fidgeting, angry dark hands clenching and unclenching into fists. His eyes were wide and holding enough fury to scare away anyone.

But the most heartbreaking part was how his bottom lip trembled ever so slightly, the only tell-tale sign that Lucas was about to cry.

God, even when she was possessed by a supernatural monster, he was still her anchor.

"Your job is to help people!" Lucas yelled at the doctors. The room had gone dead silent. "You guys screwed up, letting the monster out in the first place, and now it's got my best friend and my girlfriend!"

Girlfriend, Caroline thought giddily. If she had been in control of her body just then she probably would have kissed him.

She knew they had talked about no labels, but... girlfriend sounded pretty damn good to Caroline.

"Help her." Lucas's voice had turned deadly silent, his teeth gritted as he stared down the room of adults. "Or so help me God, I will tear this place apart."

"Alright, kid." Hopper tightened his grip on Lucas, turning him the other direction towards the door. "You made you point."

"Hop."

Hopper turned stonily to face Dr. Owens, who looked a hundred years older. "We're doing the best we can."

"You'd better," Hopper said quietly. The threat hung low through the air as the father turned towards the far too pale twins, the kids he had taken under his wing.

Caroline's heart rate spiked and her body shuddered involuntarily. For a single moment, she almost escaped the clutch of the monster in a silent battle of control.

But the monster got it back in half the amount of time.

It always would.

Alright, so this chapter is a hot fûcking mess, but I tried. J hit serious writers block so if you know what's happening, let me know, cause I sure as hell couldn't figure out how to put the plot into words.