A/N : helloooo loves :)) xx enjoy chapter nine !

Blanche
~

"Believe in his heart."

The words were stuck in my head, and I pondered what Katherine truly meant when she said that.

Of course, she loved her son. But she couldn't understand what I felt during the last two years...

I was depressed, alone, sad, hurt... broken.

I could not 'believe in his heart' anymore.

What he had done was a huge disappointment.

He hurt me really bad. I couldn't forgive him in a matter of time. No. There was no way.

He disrespected me when he left me like a dirty piece of trash. He disrespected me when he married another woman but pledged that he still loved me.

I mean, how is that even possible ?

I gave Michael my heart, my soul, my body, my mind... every part of me, and he threw all of that away.

I told him all my secrets, all my insecurities, all my thoughts ; I trusted him more than myself. And he betrayed me.

How was I supposed to trust anyone else ?

He broke me. My whole being.

I wasn't myself anymore.

I furrowed my brows and continued to walk down the hallway. I was lost in my thoughts and didn't realize where I was going.

My eyes were looking at the carpet and my feet stopped when I met a door.

I lifted my intense stare and immediately recognized the door.

Michael's room.

He had the room at the end of the hallway.

At a time, we called it our room.

I looked at the door for a few seconds, and, before I could stop myself, my knuckles touched the wood three times.

Why did I knock ?

I wasn't controlling anything at that moment ; it was like my body and my mind were two different persons.

A few seconds passed, and the door finally opened slowly.

"What-" Michael started as he peeked his head out nonchalantly. When his eyes met my face, his breath got caught in his throat and he looked at me with a surprised expression.

His eyes were soft yet held a sad glince that I wasn't used to see. His mouth was slightly agape and his skin lighter than two years before.

I held his look and lost myself in it.

We probably looked stupid like that, but I had to say that Michael was breathtakingly handsome.

That never changed.

It seemed like hours passed and we still stared at each other without saying a word. It was probably only minutes, though.

"Hi," I whispered shyly, finally breaking our eye contact to look down on the floor.

Michael stayed quiet and narrowed his eyes. He was speechless.

I think he didn't see that coming ; and I didn't neither, honestly.

Never in a million years would I have thought that "hi" would be the first word I'd say to my ex-boyfriend.

That was crazy.

Yet, that's what happened.

"H-hi..." he responded, tilting his head to the side as he searched for my eyes.

I looked at him again and offered him a small smile. It was a genuine one.

For my big surprise.

What was happening to me ?!

"Can I come in ?" I asked gently and caressed my arm softly.

Michael smiled down at me with his soft eyes and answered. "Sure,"

He opened the door for me to enter and closed it behind me.

I looked around the room and smiled to myself.

It hasn't changed at all.

Everything was where it was two years ago.

It was furnished with a big neatly made wooden bed and beautiful hand painted murals. On both bedside tables were placed the same lamps.

The room's warmth was still radiating inside and I smiled when I saw a picture frame of one of our anniversaries.

That day, Michael and I baked a cake together but it ended in a food battle that I won. Michael had his whole face covered with the cake mixture and I couldn't help but take a picture of his dirty yet angelic face.

We had laughed so hard and I could remember Michael's giggles that I haven't heard in a while...

I touched the picture and chuckled quietly, looking at Michael on the picture. That was back in 1989.

Michael must have noticed that I saw the picture but he didn't say anything. He kept a distance from me and watched my moves intensely.

I turned around and looked at the big windows.

Hayvenhurst was full of big windows, but the ones in our-... Michael's room were more beautiful, in my opinion.

They were slightly opened, letting the summer breeze flow around the room. The sun poured inside just like it did before, illuminating the entire room.

I sighed contently and turned back to Michael. He had his arms crossed and was biting his lip nervously.

He kept this habit, I saw.

He seemed deep in his thoughts but I brought him back to earth.

"What were you doing ?" I asked slowly, seating on the edge of the bed. Michael didn't look like he minded.

"I was just writing a song," he answered shyly, blushing down after I caught him lost in his thoughts.

I nodded and made small room for him to sit next to me. I patted the bed and Michael understood what I was asking for.

He walked closer with hesitant steps, and reached the bed, eventually. He sat slowly and looked carefully at me.

"Are you okay ?" I found myself asking and widened my eyes.

What the hell did just come out of my mouth ?!

Michael looked as surprised as I was and gulped nervously.

"I-... I should be the one asking you that..." he said quietly with causious eyes and fidgeted with his fingers.

I sighed and looked down at the carpet.

"I'm fine..." I started, furrowing my brows. "Just shocked by what happened back in my apartment..." I said and Michael looked at me with sorrow.

"I'm so sorry about that, Blanche," he apologized and sighed.

I didn't even understand why he was apologizing.

"That wasn't your fault." I told him and looked deep in his eyes. "I'm very thankful for your invitation." I said politely and smiled.

Once again, Michael sighed and raised up, opening his drawer and pulling out a hair tie.

I watched him as he tied his hair in a low ponytail, leaving some curls in front of his eyes in a breathtaking way.

I hadn't had the privilege of witnessing that in a while...

He kept his back to me and placed his hands on the commode.

His back seemed tense and a little bit more muscular than before.

"Please, don't lie to me." he muttered. 

I watched him and when I didn't say anything back, he turned back and looked at me.

"There are a lot of things that I need you to know," he explained calmly, licking his lips before continuing. "And I'd understand if you don't want to hear them."

"No ; I do." I responded immediately and Michael smiled slightly.

"Okay," he breathed and returned to sit on the bed.

We weren't that close, but just the fact of him sitting next to me made my heart flutter.

"But, please, start with what happened in my apartment." I demanded. "Your mother wouldn't tell me."

"You talked with Mother ?" he asked curiously and I nodded. Michael furrowed his brows and stared into space, lost in his mind.

I cleared my throat and called him.

"Michael," I said softly and he jumped, blushing as he looked down at his lap. He muttered a small "sorry" and seemed to search for his words.

"Remember when I fired Frank ?" he asked and I nodded. Frank Dileo was his ex-manager that he had to fire because they disagreed on a lot of things. "I hired a new one. His name is Andrew-"

"You didn't tell me," I stopped him with a disappointed look.

So, he also hid things from me... How nice...

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "He-..." he paused, sighing and placing his hands in front of his face in a shameful way. "You're gonna be so mad at me..." he winced and I raised an eyebrow.

"I already am," I scoffed and stood up. I went in front of the window and looked outside, the wind blowing my hair. I needed some air.

The fact that he kept apologizing made me so angry. If he thought that repeating that he was sorry would change anything ; he was completely wrong...

"I know..." Michael whispered and I felt his eyes on me. "But, Blanche, trust me, you don't know how sorry I am-"

"Stop apologizing !" I shouted and turned back around, looking at him angrily.

My sudden change of mood surprised him and he widened his eyes.

"I wasted two years of my life because of you ! I don't want to hear your apologies, Michael ! They won't change anything !" I yelled at him and he looked down again like a little puppy that we reprimanded. I turned my back again and closed my eyes, taking a long and deep breath to keep myself calm. "Just continue with your story," I said with a cold yet calm voice, this time.

Michael sighed and continued, his voice slightly breaking. "He wasn't fond of you. And-... he told me that being with you was not a good idea for my career-" I rolled my eyes. "And he used me..." he said with obvious hurt in his voice. "I lost the love of my life because of him..." he drifted off and I had the feeling that he was on the verge of tears. I stayed quiet and waited. "He was the one who made me break up with you. And I was an idiot to obey him." he sniffed and sighed. "He told me that I should marry someone from the business. So he made me marry Lisa. I never liked her, I swear !" he exclaimed and I turned my head side to side, rolling my eyes once again. "When I decided to divorce her, he was so mad." Michael explained. "He's the one who broke in your apartment." he said and I widened my eyes.

I don't even know that guy !

"I wanted to protect you, Blanche," Michael said softly and I closed my eyes.

What the-...

I turned around and looked at him deep in the eyes after a few seconds of silence. "I can't believe you listened to him," I told him painfully. "You're so naive, Michael." I puffed and looked at the ceiling to prevent myself from crying.

I was so disappointed.

This guy -Andrew- ruined my life. And I can't believe that Michael listened to him. He always told me that I was more important than his career... Why did he do that ? He knew I loved him more than anything and he broke my heart with no explanation.

"I did it for your own safety," Michael said and I raised a brow, looking at him with a shocked expression on my face.

I couldn't believe what I just heard...

That was a pretext... And a ridiculous one.

It couldn't be something else.

"What ?" I breathed, anger boiling inside of me and I tried as best as I could to hold it, but it was impossible. What he was saying was pure bullshit and I couldn't keep myself cool anymore. "My own safety ?! Are you fucking serious, Michael ?!" I yelled and came closer to him. "Throwing me out of your house with no reasons why, is what you call protecting me ?!" I took another step closer. "Marrying another woman when I was crying myself to sleep in my poor apartment is protecting me ?!" I was right in front of him at that moment. My face was red of anger and I was throwing my arms in the air in frustration. "You never called me ! You never tried to reach for me ! You didn't give any shit about me ! And now, you keep apologizing ! What the hell is wrong with you, Michael ?!" I shouted and felt my tears flowing down my cheeks.

Michael just watched me with no emotions. He wasn't reacting.

And, at that moment, I felt like that day of 1990, when he broke up with me. I was a crying mess, yelling and yelling at him. And he was right in front of me, standing still.

I felt my heart falling in my chest and I lost everything. I wasn't controlling anything and my head was spinning. I felt like the whole world was breaking down.

What I was doing was useless. Crying in front of him was useless. Arguing with him was useless. It did nothing but break me even more.

"Why do you act like you hate me ?" I asked, my voice unsteady as I wiped my eyes. I wasn't waiting for an answer but Michael responded, anyway.

"I love you,"

That's what he said. Looking at me deep in the eyes.

That was the first time he said that to me and I didn't believe him.

"You're lying," I whispered tiredly and uninterested.

All my shouting made me exhausted, and the only thing I wanted was to curl in bed and cry myself to sleep.

"I love you, Blanche," he repeated and the words came out of his mouth like a pledge. "I never stopped."

"Then why did you do that to me ?" I asked painfully as a tear ran down my cheek.

Michael looked at it and reached to dry it but I pulled my face away before he could touch me.

"Why did you do that ?" I asked again and Michael sighed shamefully.

"I was an asshole," he answered and I scoffed.

"It took you two years to realize that." I told him and he bit his lip nervously.

"What am I supposed to do for you to forgive me ?" he questioned and I sniffed.

I didn't know...

"Honestly, I have no idea." I admitted and Michael winced. "I don't think I'll ever forgive you, Michael..."

A/N : poor Michael... :((( It took me a while to write this chapter and I'm sorry for the low quality. I would have liked to turn it out in a better way but that was so hard !
Anyway, I hope you liked it ! :))