Staring at him face to face right at the moment, I could tell that he changed. He took of his aviator and stared at me directly. His eyes that darting on me, seems to seize my being.

With my heart pounding for each seconds that his pairs was still on me, it makes my chest hurts a bit. He was just grinning on me like an idiot but I somehow felt the warmth that it brought.

Habang nakatuon sa akin ang paris ng kanyang mga mata at malokong nakangisi sa akin, ay hindi ko mapigilan ang makaramdam ng init sa kabila ng kabang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

I was back from my senses when I felt my son tapping my face lightly.

"Mommy?" dinig kong tawag sa akin ni Gael.

Napalingon ako sa anak kong karga-karga ko pa rin. My son was staring at me with a crumpled face. Probably wondering why I suddenly loss myself for a moment.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered because of anxiety.

Tumingin sa harap ang anak ko. Sinundan ko iyon.

Pakiramdam ko ay bigla akong nanghina nang makita kong magkatitigan sila. Si Kier habang may nagtatakang mukha na nakatingin kay Gael, at si Gael na kunot ang noo habang nakatuon ang kuryusong mga mata sa lalaking kaharap namin.

He's the one that you're looking, anak...

"Do you like my mommy po,Mister?" biglang tanong ng anak ko.

"What?" Kier asked absentmindedly.

Agad kong tinakpan ang bibig ni Gael nang marinig ko ang tanong niyang iyon.

"Gael..." I stopped my son from asking like that.

Nilingon niya lang ako bago ngumuso at muling titigan si Kier.

"He did this to you, mommy!" he mimicked the way Kier's winked at me!

Oh, come on, Gael...

I glanced at Kier again. Ang kaninang nakangisi niyang mukha ay ngayon napalitan na nang pagtataka.

I looked away.

"Y-your... Your son?" tanong niya sa akin.

I was thankful that Gael was wearing a mask. That way, his father wouldn't see his face clearly.

Hindi ako kaagad nakaimik.

What should I say?

Ano ba ang isasagot ko sa kanya? Na oo anak ko siya at ikaw ang ama? O, oo anak ko siya?

Harold let us go back here because he wanted me to tell Kier about Gael. It was the main reason why we are here. But how? How dare I am to tell it to him like it isn't a big deal? What kind of face do I have to tell him that my son is also his son?

From then, I didn't intend to ruin his life. His family...

Muli akong lumingon kay Kier. He was waiting for my answer. Ibinuka ko ang bibig ko para sumagot.

"Yes..." I said.

I saw how his mouth parted. Mapakla siyang napatawa matapos marinig iyon mula sa akin. He rubbed his hair as if he was still on the process of taking my answer so it will sink on him.

"Gael is my son with Harold," I lied.

Nakita ko kung paanong mag-iba ang kulay ng mga mata niya. Madilim na iyon kanina ngunit mas dumilim pa iyon nang muli akong magsalita para sagutin siya.

The way his eyes changes, pakiramdam ko ay may iba. Seems like he was mad or something because of how dark his eyes was when I answered his question.

Sa ipinapakita niyang iyon ay nagtataka ako. But I shouldn't let my curiosity ruin him. I shouldn't let that thing ruin his life. Ruin his family...

Bumaba ang mata niya mula sa mukha ko patungo sa kaliwang kamay ko. He tilted his head a bit as if he's searching for something. Napatingin din ako roon.

"It's fine with me," he said.

My forehead knotted with his words.

"Besides, you're not yet married," he stated which made me curious even more.

We are at Harold's condo unit here in Pasay. I laid Gael down on the bed who's now sleeping peacefully since we were on the taxi. I covered him with blanket and stroked his hair before I went out from the room.

Nagtungo ako sa kusina at binuksan ang ref para kumuha ng tubig. It was a good thing that Harold already arranged everything even before we got here. Hindi na rin marami ang dapat kong ayusin.

Hinatak ko ang isang bakal na upuan bago maupo. I held the glass of water and drink it. Inilagay ko iyon sa lamesa matapos kong uminom.

I crossed my legs and started to think again. While sitting there alone, I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened earlier. It was so sudden that I almost lost it. That I almost tell him. But then, maybe luck was still on me. Or fate just don't want me to interfere his personal life.

Kinuha ko ang selpon ko sa pantalon na suot ko at nagtungo sa numero ni Harold. I dialed his phone number. It was ringing.

"How's Gael, love?" It was Harold's first words after answering my call.

I smiled because of what I heard.

I took a deep breath. "Malalim ang tulog, eh. Napagod yata," sagot ko sa tanong niya.

Narinig kong bahagya siyang napatawa sa kabilang linya.

"It's really quiet here now. Wala nang maingay," aniyang ikinatawa ko.

That man...

"Hmmm, sabihin mo miss mo lang kami, Harold. Nahiya ka pa, eh," natatawang sabi ko.

"Yeah..." he admitted.

Well... I couldn't utter any word about it. We've been together for years. Taon din ang binilang na nakasama niya ang anak ko. So I understand his sentiment that he miss us.

"Nga pala, Harold,"

"Hmm? Why?"

Muli akong nagpakawala ng malalim na hininga bago magsalita.

"I met him outside the airport," I said.

I heard him cleared his throat on the phone.

"So?"

"What so...?" Curiously, I asked.

"Ahm, what happened? Your reaction, how was it?" tanong niya.

I became quiet. Natahimik ako sa naging tanong niya.

My reaction? Well... I was, I was anxious.

"Love? Why became silent?" I came back to my senses when I heard Harold speak again.

"Ha?" Lutang na tanong ko.

"How's your heart?" I heard the playfulness on his voice when he asked me that.

"Psh!"

Mas narinig ko pa ang tunog ng tawa niya nang wala akong isagot maliban doon sa naging tanong niya.

But wait... My heart?

I was damn nervous and happy at the same time. Ang pakiramdam na kabahan at maging masaya sa iisang pagkakataon, it was something. It was something that made me anxious. And it was because of him. It was because of Kier.

Muli ko na namang naalala ang mukha niya kanina nang magkita kami. Kung paano niya ako batiin at kung paano niya tignan si Gael. He was clueless about everything. He didn't know a thing about Gael because I was keeping it from him.

Narinig kong tumunog ang doorbell ng unit namin kaya nagpaalam na ako kay Harold bago patayin ang tawag.

"Tawagan na lang kita ulit. Someone's at the door," I said.

"Okay. Call me if you need anything there, Haier. Hmm?"

Muli akong napangiti.

"I will." Smiling, I said. "Bye..." I ended the call.

I left my phone on the table at the kitchen and went to open the door. But I felt that I also left my mouth there when I saw who was the one that was standing in front of the door of our unit. He was looking on the floor and couldn't really stand straight.

My nose wrinkled when I smelled an alcohol coming from him. Ang magulo niyang buhok na malayong-malayo sa ayos no'n kanina, at ang gusot na niyang damit. I could tell that he's definitely drunk.

"K-Kier, why are you h-here?" Takang tanong ko.

I suddenly got nervous!

Nag-angat siya ng kanyang ulo mula sa sahig at tinignan ako ng diretso.

"Can you comeback to me, Haier? Now that you're here, now that you showed up, can you comeback to me?" Lasing na tanong niya sa akin.

Tinitigan ko lamang si Kier. Alam ko na marahil ay lasing lang siya kaya niya iyon naitatanong sa akin.

"You left without any notice that you're leaving, Haier," aniyang may hinanakit sa akin. "And now, now you're back without also a notice. Kaya tatanungin kita..." I just stared at him and didn't utter a word. "Paano naman ako? Paano naman ako kung ganyan ang gusto mo?" I remained quiet and staring at him when he asked me that.

Kier...

He shook his head. Ipinilig niya ang ulo niya na animo'y may hindi siya gusto.

"Kahit kailan... Kahit kailan ay hindi ko napag-aralan kung paano ka panatilihin..."

Napayuko ako.

Why do it seems like it was my fault? That I was the one to blame? Just because of his words, I felt like it was me who was at fault.

"All I wanted was for you to stay so I can fix myself for you and for myself. But you just left..."

I lifted my head.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Mabilis pa sa alas-kwatro akong lumapit sa kanya nang bigla siyang mawalan ng balanse. I quickly went on him and held his shoulder so he can stay still, standing.

Oh, shit!