ㅏ2Jaeㅓ

Jaebum was a typical rich kid. Grouchy, spoiled, bratty. But who knew that one train ride could change his life.

Jaebum sighed irritably. He broke out of that hell hole and now he's being shipped back. And in a train of all vehicles.

His lip curled in disgust as he spotted a piece of trash on the opposite bench.

The station was hectic. It was full of people saying their "goodbyes" and "I love you"s.
Unfortunately, Jaebum didn't have anyone to say goodbye or I love you to.

His father didn't care for him, his mother was more focused on his grades. If there were awards for the worst parents, Jaebum's parents would win every year. As Jaebum grew up, he realized being obedient wouldn't help him get his parents' attention. That's when he started acting out. But honestly, under that bad, rude boy image, was a young man just craving love. 

He tried closing his eyes and the train jolted forward. The silence was disrupted by a cheerful "Hello!"

Jaebum opened his eyes to see a young man sitting in front of him.

His soft brown hair was swept to the side under a hat that he wore backwards. He was wearing a simple white shirt, simple pair of skinny jeans, and a simple pair of shoes. Long story short, he was simple.

Jaebum watched in confusion as the man in front of him sigh and stretch out. The man caught Jaebum's stare and smiled.

"Hi I'm Choi Youngjae!"

"You're too loud.''

"Oh hello you're too loud.''

"Smartass" Jaebum grumbled as he rummaged through his bag to find his earbuds. Unfortunatly, he had the feeling that he had left them on his desk at home. After searching for a couple minutes, he concluded that his feeling was correct.

Youngjae cocked his head as he watched Jaebum toss his bag to the side and pout.

"Do you...need something?"

"I just forgot my stupid earbuds at home. Just don't talk and we'll be alright."

Jaebum closed his eyes once more but flinched when he heard something being unzipped. A second later, he heard humming and the noise of someone rummaging through a bag.

"Could you be any louder?" Jaebum finally burst out as he sat up. Youngjae turned to Jaebum with a pair of earbuds dangling from his hand.

"Do you want to borrow mine?" The latter asked, completely ignoring Jaebum's outburst. Jaebum nodded yes and Youngjae smiled as he handed the tangled earbuds over. Jaebum quickly detangled the earbuds with his slim fingers. Youngjae watched with great interest as he observed the grouchy man in front of him.

He pulled out his old, ratty journal and pen. He's been using the same diary and pen since he was 10. Ten years passed and he still wrote every time something new or eventful happens.

Flashback, Ten years ago:

A  beautiful woman bends down and pokes Youngjae's nose.

"Youngjae sweetheart, mommy's got a surprise for you."

10 year old Youngjae tried to peep behind his mother's back, trying to catch a glimpse of this so called surprise. She pulled out a wooden box from behind her back and handed it to Youngjae.
"Now Youngjae, mommy is leaving but she trusts you to hold down the fort here. And don't forget to read that note in the box okay?"

Youngjae nodded earnestly as he pecked his mother's cheek a goodbye. But he failed to see her wipe a tear from her eyes.

"Goodbye Youngjae."

Youngjae quickly wiped the growing tears in his eyes and looked to see if Jaebum had noticed. But he didn't. Youngjae was curious about Jaebum. The man seemed rude and cold but Youngjae senses that there is more to him then this facade he was putting up.

Someone couldn't be  like this for no reason. Everyone has a story and Youngjae's favorite thing was reading those stories.

He flipped a page in his diary and started writing. Hours passed and Youngjae shifted from writing to doodling. He found himself sketching the sleeping man across from him. His mother always taught him to capture the beauty all around him, because the sad thing about beauty was that it was temporary. The train skidded to a stop. Youngjae stood up and peeked out into the pathway, like many of the riders were doing. One man yelled out, "Wow! Look there's smoke!"

Jaebum jumped awake as he heard alarms blaring. He yanked the earbuds out of his ears and stared at a panicking Youngjae who was stuffing all his things back into his backpack.

"What's wrong?" Jaebum asked, packing up as well.

"Something's wrong. The engine is smoking. The conductor said it might blow up."
Jaebum's eyes widened as he picked up his pace. He swung the backpack over his shoulder and joined the swarms of people rushing out of the train.

The train had stopped in the middle of a huge clearing in a forest. People were backing up all the way to the trees. The train workers were trying to get everyone organized and a team of people were working hectically to save the engine.

Youngjae walked to a nearby tree and dropped his stuff by the base of it before jumping up to grab hold of a low branch. He pulled himself up and positioned himself so his back was leaning against the trunk of the tree, one leg was propped up on the branch while the other dangling in the air. 

Jaebum made a face as he swatted another fly. "This is gross." He stated, spreading his jacket on the grass underneath the tree.

Youngjae smiled as the man below him continued being prissy, unaware that he was being watched.

Jaebum brushed specs of dirt off his jacket before sitting down.

"I didn't know you were that prissy." Jaebum screamed when he heard a voice above him.

Youngjae was smiling down at the startled man.
"H-how did you get up there?"

Youngjae shrugged, "I climbed."

"A-Aren't you afraid of falling?"

Youngjae hummed before answering, "No, because when I fall, I'm sure someone will catch me."

Flashback

8 year old Youngjae screamed again.
"I can't do this mom!"

The woman laughed and held out her arms, "You can't do it if you believe you can't. Don't worry. I'm here to catch you."

Youngjae nodded as he stretched his arm out for a higher branch. He pulled himself up and smiled when he heard his mom cheering.

But that's where it all went wrong. The branch Youngjae grabbed was unstable and it snapped under his weight. He screamed as he lost his balance and fell backwards. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact of him hitting the hard ground. But it never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see his mom smiling.

"I told you Youngjae...mommy is always going to be here to catch you."

"YooHoo!" Jaebum waved his hand in front of Youngjae's face. The younger man seemed to space out. Youngaje snapped his attention back to Jaebum.

"What?"

"They're all calling us." Jaebum said pointing to the crowd moving towards a man in a suit standing on the train.

Youngjae hopped down from the tree and landed on his legs and one hand. He stood up and nonchalantly brushing off the dirt before joining the crowd. Jaebum shook his head before following.

"Okay listen up people. The engineers were able to stop the explosion that would have happened. But they need more time to fix the engine. We will be staying here for a couple days and if by a week, the train is still not fixed, they will be sending another train from the opposite track to carry us to another station."

The crowd broke into chaos as people started complaining. Youngjae hated complainers. They were too busy complaining to see the good things around them.

He put his fingers up to his mouth and blew. An ear-piercing whistle broke the chaos and people turned to face him.

"How could you guys be complaining? Think of it like a free camping trip." Youngjae motioned to the trees surrounding them, "Look at all those trees bearing fresh fruit. We will be sleeping under the stars. You guys will see real wild animals, fireflies, flowers.... how could you guys be complaining?"

There was silence before a young girl raised her hand, "Will there be cute birds?"

Youngjae laughed, "Of course sweetheart."

The man nodded appreciatively at Youngjae as the crowd dispersed.

Jaebum nudged Youngjae as they headed back to their tree. "What are you? Some kind of philosopher?"  

"It's common sense You're too loud."

"You're not really going to call me that are you?"

"Well you never told me your name."

"Im Jaebum."

"What?"

"That's my name, Im Jaebum."

The heat of the summer day cooled down as the sun disappeared. Youngjae dug out blankets from his suitcase and spread it out on the grass. He used his backpack as a pillow as he laid down.

Jaebum watched from afar as Youngjae shook his feet slowly. It wouldn't hurt to make a friend right?

He took his backpack and placed it next to Youngjae's. Without saying a word he settled next to Youngjae.

Youngjae smiled when he felt Jaebum lay down next to him. He opened his eyes and turned to Jaebum.

"Nice of you to join me."

"Is this what you poor people do in your free time?" Jaebum asked, swatted at a mosquito.

"Who said I was poor?" Youngjae said shifting his hands behind his hand.

"Oh....sorry."

"It's okay. So why are you on this journey?"

"What?"

"Why are you on this train? Where are you going?"
Jaebum sighed, "I'm being shipped back to boarding school...what about you?"

Youngjae let out a chuckle, "Me? I'm just going to say goodbye."

Jaebum was slightly unnerved by that sentence but shook it off.

"You know what my mom always used to tell me?" Youngjae broke the silence.

"She used to tell me that the stars were actually the eyes of angels. That's why stars twinkle. The angels are watching down on us...making sure we're going the right way."

Jaebum chuckled, "I've never heard that before. But sorry to break it to you, stars are just big balls of gas millions of miles away."

"I'll think about it my way, you think about it you're way." Youngjae replied.

Jaebum smiled to himself before turning over.

"Goodnight Youngjae."
"Night Bum."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a butt."

"Okay sorry Bum."

Youngjae smiled to himself as he heard the other boy sigh deeply. He waited until he was sure that the latter was asleep before he opened his mouth and started to sing.

Flashback:

Youngjae tossed and turned in his bed before yelling out for his mother. She came bounded up the stairs from her son's calls.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I can't sleep mommy."

The woman smiled softly before taking off her heels and joining the young boy in bed.

"It's okay, just close your eyes and listen to my voice." She said.

Youngjae nodded and moved his head to his mom's lap. She took a deep breath and started singing while running her fingers through Youngjae's hair.

Her soft melodious voice washed over Youngjae like a calming wave. He smiled and snuggled closer to her before releasing a long sigh.

His mother sang for a few more minutes until she heard the soft snoring of Youngjae. She smiled and moved his head to his pillow. She got out of his bed and tucked him in. She leaned down and pressed her lips on his forehead.

"Goodnight Youngjae. Remember that mommy always loves you."

Youngjae woke up with a start. He had sweat dripping down the side of his head. The dream was so calming but his heart was pounding.

He climbed back up into his tree and started writing in his journal once more.

It was late morning by the time Jaebum had gotten up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, before yawning once more and stretching out his stiff limbs. He caught sight of Youngjae. He was sitting around a campfire without the little girl from yesterday and a few more kids.

Once of the boys said something and Youngjae let out a laugh. Jaebum was yards away but he could hear Youngjae's laughter. It was soothing and made Jaebum smile.

Jaebum didn't smile easy, and he was finding himself smiling more and more because of a particular man named Youngjae.

Jaebum stood up and walked towards the band of happy campers. "And then.... the branch broke!"

The kids gasped loudly when they heard Youngjae say that. The little girl next to him shook his leg, "Did you fall Youngjae oppa? Did you die?"

The boy next to that girl pushed her, "Don't be stupid Momo, of course he didn't die. He's here telling the story isn't he?"

Youngjae laughed before continuing, "No I didn't die Momo. My mom caught me, just like she said she would."

Momo giggled, "That's great Oppa! Where is she now?"

Youngjae's smile faltered.

"She's....she's with the stars now."

The sentence dampened the mood quite a bit but Momo broke the silence, "Did anyone see fireflies last night?"

Youngjae chuckled and shook his head, "No maybe we'll look tonight."

Momo smiled  widely and nodded.

Jaebum sat next to Youngjae and smiled at the kids.
"Hey guys."

Youngjae is an observer. He notices the little things that others overlook. Youngjae noticed that Jaebum is opening up. He would have never guessed that this Jaebum was the same one that he met when he first got on the train.

They chatted all morning and their discussion got deeper when the little kids headed back to their parents.

Jaebum finally cracked and talked about his childhood. How he basically didn't have one. How his parents acted like he didn't exist.

"I just feel like I'm a mistake you know? I mean your own child...you have to pay some attention to him."

Youngjae just listened. He couldn't relate to Jaebum. His mom was always there for him....that is till he turned ten.

Flashback: 

"Mommy mommy!! Look what I wrote!" Little ten year old Youngjae raced around his big house with his new journal. He turned the corner and smashed into Hajoon, the family's butler.

"Youngjae....your mom is out. Be a good boy and wait for her okay?'

Youngjae waited for 8 years.

He received news of his mom's death 2 years prior and it broke him.

"So what about you? How messed up is your family?"

Youngjae never told anyone about his mom, or family matter of fact. But he couldn't hold back.

"My mom was the closest person when I knew when I was growing up. She was my everything. She taught me everything I know. She's the one that gave me my journal. When she was young, she had kept a journal but stopped in college. She gave me that same journal and told me to write down my life....because maybe someday....I'll find someone who wants to read my story."

Jaebum looked up at the younger boy who was staring out into the forest.

"Wow...are you going to go see her?"

"Honestly Jaebum....she left when I was ten. The journal was her goodbye present. I never found out why she left....maybe it was because I wasn't good enough. I wish I had knew so I could go back and change whatever I did to make her leave."

Youngjae was now close to tears. Jaebum didn't know what to do. He didn't get close enough to people for them to rely on him for comfort. He just awkwardly let the younger boy lean his head agaisnt Jaebum's shoulder.

"Youngjae....you were ten. It couldn't have been anything you've done. And based on the stories you told me....she must of loved you with all her heart."

Youngjae nodded and lifted his head. He sniffed and wiped his tears. "Thanks Bum."

"Your just going to call me that aren't you?"

"Yes Bum."

"Fine I'll call you Sunshine."

"What? Why?"

"Because your always smiling and making other people smile."

Jaebum was surprised to see the sad smile on Youngjae's face.

"Come on! I want to check out the forest." Youngjae suddenly sprung up.

He grabbed Jaebum's hand and ran towards the trees. Jaebum laughed as he was pulled by Youngjae. The two spent the rest of the day exploring the forest. As the sun went down, they headed back for camp.

Youngjae slowly intertwined their hands and swung their arms back and forth.  Jaebum  quickly pulled away when he saw Momo racing towards them. "Oppas! Oppas! Guess what! The train is working!"

Youngjae smiled sadly, knowing his time with Jaebum is coming to an end. Jaebum, on the other hand was elated. "Finally! I need a shower."

Youngjae chuckled and picked up his bags and joined Jaebum who was frantically running towards the train. They made it back to their seats as the train started moving once more.

Youngjae stared out the window as the world rushed by until Jaebum cleared his throat.

"I really owe you Youngjae. Before this, I was grouchy and wanted everything to go my way. I always took advantage of things but now I know how wrong I was. I want to thank you for changing my perspective of everything."

Youngjae smiled, "It's nothing Bum, just passing along my knowledge."

Jaebum nodded and surprised the younger man by pecking his cheek. Youngjae stared at Jaebum while pressing his hand against his burning cheek. Jaebum chuckled and pinched Youngjae's nose, "Your cute."

The rest of the train ride went by in a flash and before they knew it, Jaebum and Youngjae were standing in the train station with their bags in their hand.

"I'm going right."

"Well I guess this is goodbye." Youngjae said softly.

He dropped his bags and took a step closer to Jaebum. He caressed the older's cheek in his hand. Jaebum closed his eyes and Youngjae leaned in until their lips touched. Jaebum dropped his backpack to pull Youngjae closer while deepening the kiss.

Youngjae pulled away.

"Don't forget me." He whispered against Jaebum's lips. Jaebum just nodded and watched as Youngjae picked up his bags and turned.

They walked opposite directions and with each step, Jaebum was scared that he would never see Youngjae again. Unfortunately.... he was right.

Two months had passed and not a single day went by without Jaebum thinking about Youngjae. He had his father's workers try to track him down but Choi and Youngjae were very popular names. Jaebum chided himself daily about not taking his phone number, address, email....anything.

It took two months for them to get something....an address. It wasn't much but Jaebum was willing to try anything to see Youngjae again. He raced out of his dorm with the paper in his hand. It was an hour drive and by the time he pulled up to the large house, he was breathing heavily.

He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants before he knocked on the door. A minute passed before the door was opened by an old man. 

"Uh excuse me....Is there a Choi Youngjae here?"

The man was clearly startled by Jaebum's question, "No, he's.....are you by any chance Im Jaebum."

Jaebum nodded and the man opened the door wider, "Please come in."

Jaebum bowed before entering. He followed the man through the house, occasionally smiling at the childhood pictures of Youngjae.

The man opened a door and let Jaebum in. He walked to a clear desk and knelt down. He pulled out an old, dusty journal and handed it to Youngjae.

Jaebum took the journal in his hands, "What is this?"

The old man smiled sadly, "Just read the entries if you want.....but please read the entry that has the date 160407."

Jaebum's eyes widened, that was the date of the day he last saw Youngjae.

He bowed a thank you and the old man left the room, closing it behind him.

Jaebum opened the book to the end and started reading.

160406

The train ride is two days...my seat partner is this guy. I don't really know his name. He didn't tell me. I hope we'll be friends. He seems mean on the outside but I'm sure that he's a really nice person on the inside.

Jaebum read another lines before he turned the page. He gasped when he saw a drawing on the page. It was.....it was him.

He read another entry before flipping the page.

On top of the page were the numbers 160407. After this page, the journal was empty.

Jaebum started reading.

160407

Hi Jaebum....if you're reading this than thank you. You didn't forget about me. But I'm afraid your too late. But I have a favor to ask. I want you to read this journal from the beginning okay? Read my mother's entries, my entries and then write your own....Continue our legacy Bum. Because if you don't write down your memories.....what proof is there that you actually lived? I'm sorry Jaebum...and Goodbye.

-Choi Youngjae

Jaebum slammed the book shut and ran downstairs, trying to find the old man. Jaebum found him in the living room, tending a fire.

"WHERE IS HE?" Jaebum yelled.

The old man turned, Jaebum was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Jaebum.....he committed suicide the day after he came home."

It feels like we're flying, but falling at the same time.

But I wanna go higher, I wanna fly straight up.

You gotta get there to see the end.

So don't let go and hold on tight

I'll heat up your heart so that it's hot

I'll set everything on fire for you.

Even among the countless stars

You're in my arms.