[ WARNINGS: strong language, probably smut, and look, if you don't like age gaps, go away. and she is from kansas so I don't wanna hear SHIT when she calls ted 'daddy'! though honestly, in the south, it sounds more like 'deeddy' or 'dayddy'

also, the oc is biracial, and I am not so PLEASE do not hesitate to let me know if I write something incorrect or even just things you wish were in stories with non-white characters that are details I could include ]

DAISY LASSO

WHITNEY PEAK

if you make one mistake with those two boys, this whole club will implode. you understand that, right?

i'm beginning to. but what are the chances they learn to like each other for my sake?

about the same as richmond winning the whole damn thing.

so, not great then?

ROY KENT

BRETT GOLDSTEIN

i'm kinda starting to fucking hate you.

is that so? and what have i done to deserve that?

you're all i fucking think about lately. your laugh, your smile, how great you are with phoebe - got me excited to see you every day. it's bloody annoying, it is.

JAMIE TARTT

PHIL DUNSTER

what are you trying to say, jamie?

i like how you are with roy, if i'm being honest. you're happy, and all i want is for you to keep bein' happy. just so happens i'd like to be one of the ones making you happy too, if you'd have me.

yeah. yeah, jamie, i'll have you.

TED LASSO

JASON SUDEIKIS

i know that i didn't ask you to follow me from kansas, but i sure am glad to have you here, darlin'.

little kids need someone to teach them ballet all over the world. so, no way was i letting you come over here without me. it's way cooler than any of the vacations we took growing up.

well, hey now, don't forget that hiking trip we went on and we saw the beaman monster!

daddy, that was a hunter wearing a ghillie suit, not a twelve-foot-tall circus animal.

COACH BEARD

BRENDAN HUNT

daisy chain, you do recall what i said to you about getting involved with the players before we even boarded the plane, right?

yes, uncle beard, i remember.

and what was it that i said about getting involved?

to not.

and what have you done?

not that.

KEELEY JONES

JUNO TEMPLE

two years ago, i'd have told you to run fast and far from jamie before he could break your little heart.

but now?

he's grown a lot since we dated, really. and i don't think it'd be such a bad thing if you did want to give him a chance.

but it's not fair to jamie if i still have feelings for roy.

so have feelings for them both. then let them talk it out like big boys. something tells me that they wouldn't mind sharing at this point.

REBECCA WELTON

HANNAH WADDINGHAM

you're the woman i dreamed of being before i stopped growing in the fourth grade.

you do know that height is not a requirement for being successful in this world, right?

no, but looking like an amazon warrior would certainly give me the confidence to demand what i want out of life.

well, should you need someone to stand up for you, this tall warrior is always available.

PHOEBE O'SULLIVAN

ELODIE BLOMFIELD

uncle roy is mad at me because i said i enjoy your ballet lessons more than football training.

well, tell uncle roy that he's stupid and should coach better.

i'm not allowed to use that word.

when meagan messed up her leaps earlier, you called her a 'clumsy twat,' but stupid is where you draw the line?

ALLORA BURKE

SHAY MITCHELL

when i asked if you wanted to come to liverpool to make it a girls' weekend, i didn't think you'd spend the whole time having sex with keeley.

well, then you should've specified that your itinerary didn't include fucking the hot and newly-single model you've been hiding from me.

just please don't make things awkward. i work with you every day and also see her nearly every day, and if things end messily, i don't think i'd be able to pick sides.

oh, daze, i'd drag you kicking and screaming to my side.